411’s WWE Sunday Night Heat Report 5.29.05

Hello everybody and welcome to Sunday Night HeAt! I’d like to remind all of you who didn’t catch RAW that you can read about all the happenings from Alex Obal’s RAW Report OR JD Dunn’s RAWtopsy, so when I don’t cover that flashbacks that’s where you’ll find them. With that out of the way, lets get on with the show. And we’re starting it off with a new edition to the Sunday Night HeAt ultimate Jobber roster Christy Hemme, apparently she’s working as a ring announcer tonight. Christy honey, we don’t keep you around for your voice.

Anyway, here’s the Match.

Val Venis Vs. Robert Conway

Here’s the lockup. Conway grabs a hammerlock, but Val reverses it. They break it up and Conway grabs a headlock, but he gets shoved off and clotheslined by Val Venis, who then hit’s the most unrealistic move in wrestling, yes I am talking about the Russian leg sweep. He then hit’s a hard chop and a scoop slam before having his eyes raked by Conway, who then goes after the shoulder. Venis breaks loose and hit’s a backbody drop, and a back elbow, before making Conway eat some turnbuckle. Val Venis picks him up and hit’s a spin out power bomb but it only gets him a 2. Conway start to make a comeback but Venis hit’s a full nelson slam, and Val goes up for the Money Shot but Conway moves, and goes back to the shoulder, finally locking in an armbar and making Venis tap.

Winner: Robert Conway.

Todd Grisham tells us that coverage of the ECW Funeral from RAW.

Commercials

I’d like to take this time to let all you puro fans know that not only are Steve Austin, Kevin Nash, and Goldberg in “The Longest Yard” but your favourite IWGP Champion of all time, that’s right Bob Sapp.

We’re backstage with The Superheroes, who were in the middle of saying to Stacy Keibler that they could use a female superhero. When Simon Dean and maven come along. They say that it’s because of Stacy’s distraction that they didn’t win the Tag Team titles. Maven says that he’ll be wrestling The Hurricane later tonight.

And now we’re treated to highlights of the ECW “Funeral” from RAW. Damn it’s good to see Paul E. back.

Commercials

Here is our Sunday Night HeAt grudge match.

Maven w/ Simon Dean Vs. The Hurrican w/ Rosey and Stacy Keibler

Lock up, and the Hurricane is driven to the corner. They are forced to break, and Maven goes down and does some pushups. Another lock up, and Hurricane gets a roll up, and then a headlock, followed by a shoulder block, and the Hurricane does some push ups of his own before giving Maven and arm wringer and a Judo hip throw. Maven tries to make a comeback, but Hurricane gives Maven an arm drag and holds it in a cross armbar. Maven break out, then flexes his muscles. He then runs to the outside and guillotines the Hurricane for 2. Maven then picks him up and hit’s a big drop kick. Maven then gets in an argument with the referee while Simon Dean chokes The Hurricane. Maven then sets The Hurrricane up for a superplex, but the hurricane fights back, and hit’s a cross body for 2. The hurricane smashes maven into the buckle, then hit’s a Blockbuster followed up by a shinning wizard for 2. Simon Dean tries to distract the referee after sliding his bag into the ring, but Rosey takes out Dean, and Stacy grabs the back before maven can, and she hits him with it, allowing the Hurricane to give maven the Eye of the Hurricane for the win.

Winner: The Hurricane

Commercials

And now we get a recap of Edge Vs. Batista from RAW.

And we’re told that later tonight Regal and Tajiri will take on the Heartthrobs in a Texas tornado match whatever the f**k that is.

Commercials

It seems that we’ll have another of the Diva Search contestants announcing for this one, because here is Candice Michelle.

Here’s our main event.

Texas Tornado Match:
The Heart Throbs Vs. William Regal and Tajiri

The rules are simple, all four men compete at the same time…ya, that’s it. Regal and Tajiri come out hot from the bell beating the hell out of Romeo and Antonio, with various offensive manoeuvres including one of the most entertaining I’ve seen for a while as they drove Antonio’s head into Romeos…places. And it goes on like that fro a surprisingly long time. We head to commercials as Regal gives Antonio a Half nelson suplex. That’s right, a head bump in WWE albeit not a good one.

Commercials

And we’re back with the Heartthrobs getting some offence, pretty much in the same manner as Regal and Tajiri, a lot of fists and not a whole lot worth calling. But they make liar out of me by hitting a double suplex. They continually knock Tajiri off the apron to beat on Regal some more, until Tajiri finally hit’s a stiff kick, which turns out to be a bad things as they knock out Regal and pin Tajiri after a double STO.

Winners: The Heart Throbs

Well there you have it folks. For 411Wrestling.com I am Alex P. and this has been you Sunday Night HeAt Report.

~Alex P.