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Acero’s AEW Dynamite Review 11.2.22
Image Credit: AEW
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I literally pulled into my driveway, jetted into the room, and cracked open a bottle of Jack, making me five minutes late instead of four, so let’s get to it! Priorities, PEOPLE!!!
Match 1: Darby Allin vs Jay Lethal
Darby and Lethal are on the apron of the ring, and Jay Lethal just Germans that kid like nothin.
We come back from PIP and Lethal has Darby up for a back suplex, only for Darby to tug on the nose and drop to his feet. He hits the ropes, coffin splash (which is, apparently, a horizontal version of a coffin splash) off the ropes, tries for another drop but gets some knees to his back. Lethal hooks the head, lifts the leg and flips Darby into a face plant. Lethal tries for a Lethal Injection, but Darby catches him in the air and locks in a sleeper hold. Lethal reaches for the ropes, but they are center-ring. Darby releases the choke in the corner, flies over the head and hits a stunner. Dary to the corner, holding his abs. Lethal rolls to the outside. The big Indian dude is nearby. Darby hits the ropes and suicide dives INTO Singh (thanks, Tazz), and bounces right the fuck off. The ref decides to kick Sonjay and Singh out to the back. Lethal stands in the ring, Darby struggles to stand by the apron.
We see a dude in a Sting jacket and mask attack Darby with a bat, hitting him in the gut and rolling him into the ring. Lethal Injection to Darby, and Lethal gets the pin for 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Jay Lethal
Considering I was late to the party, I can’t properly rate this. I can only hope Darby is ok after that guitar shot.
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: NR
“Sting” enters the ring, circles Darby, looks over at Lethal and Dutt and Singh, who are back, and they all hug.
It’s…Cole Carter from The Factory.
And the crowd goes…..mild.
The real Sting is back! His music hits, and Sting takes his time as Lethal and Co stand at the bottom of the ramp.
In the ring, Jeff Jarrett walks in with a guitar. He turns Darby and clocks him over the head with a guitar! The crowd is much more excited about this as Dutt, Lethal, Singh, and Carter re-enter the ring with laughter.
Jarrett tells Darby that he just got a lesson from the last outlaw. Whatever Darby worship becomes your weakness. Look at that pool of blood. Wanna worship Sting? He is Darby’s biggest weakness. Darby is drippin from the head.
JJ has a message for the roster, for Schiavone, and for the camera man who is apparently chuckling. But most importantly, to the insane, rabid, delusional fanbase. The Jarrett name has been around since 76. He is a 2 time HOFer, a 12 time champion, and from Day One, he has…
I dunno, I tuned out when he said the word Impact.
I come back to JJ calling us slapnuts.
AMBROSE is backstage. He cant get enough of the electricity. This is just another night for him, but for Mr. Lee Moriarity, this is the biggest night of his career. He need only rely on his skills, of which there re many. Lee feels snubbed? BCC did not stub him, they just decided that Lee just isn’t quite violent enough. They wont leave him in the cold, though, because they are teachers. He will pain Lee tonight. He will force him to dig down deep into his guts where bad intentions lie. There is only one way out, through Ambrose. So if he has any anger or angst or revenge boiling deep down, now is the time to bring it to the surface. Ambrose wants him to be mean and nasty and violence; he aint got time for anything else.
Video of Bucks and Omega winning the trios title, then being edited and replaced in a shoddy video editor program by Death Triangle winning.
Match 2: Jon Moxley vs Lee Moriarity
Ethan Page is on commentary. Lee does some mat work locking the head and rolling Moxley onto his back. Moxley kicks Lee in the thigh, Lee returns, they go back and forth with the kicks till Moxley punches Lee directly in the face. Jon corners Lee and mounts for some punches. Jon bites the forehead then hooks the head and throws Lee over his head to the mat for a cover. 1..2…NO!!!! Jon from behind, gets backed to the ropes. Ref breaks it. Lee with an elbow to the face, some more forearms, then a kick to the leg, chop to Moxley. Lee to the corner to gloat, rushes the opposite with an uppercut to Jon. Whip to the conrer, another uppercut to Moxley. Lee with another whip, reversed, Jon hits a clothesline in the corner, whips into the corner, Jon goes for a shoulder, but Lee side-steps and he posts!
We back, and Lee sends Lee flying with a high drop. Lee is back up, right hand, some from Jon, back and forth, whip to the corner, kick from Lee, Lee to the apron, springboard clothesline to Jon. Hooks the head, suplex and a bridge for 1..2…NO!!!! Lee mounts, hits some rights, favors his right hand, stands above Jon. He locks the fingers and looks to stomp Jon’s head i. Lee stomps, again, again, Jon to his knees. They go head to head.
Some shit is going down in the crowd, as it looks like a small group of men are being escorted out.
HUGE LARIAT from Moxley!
We are informed Lamar Jackson is in the crowd, and that’s why the crowd was lit. Jon stomps Lee in the face, double underhooks, lifts, but Lee with a kick to the arm. He hammer locks, but Jon spins him and hits a cutter! Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Moxley slaps the shit out of Lee’s ear. A few slaps but Lee is here to return some! High knee to Jon. Saito Suplex! Moxley is right back up! He captures Lee, hits a German, Lee pops up, locks up from behind, but Lee with a snapmare, tries for an arm bar, but Lee rolls through and locks in the Border Ciy Stretch! Lee releases and elbows the bak of the head of Jon a few times, then locks in the hold again.
Moxley cradles into a pin for 1..2..NO!!!! Elbows to the chest of Lee!! Over and over and over and over!!! ARM BAR!!!!! Lee taps!!!
Winner: Jon Moxley
A hell of a fight from Lee, lookin good in several moments, but never better than Moxley. A nice sprint, though.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 10:07
Page is pissed. He leaves commentary, runs dow nth ramp, enters the ring, and hits a huge boot to Jon Moxley!
Page stands tall as Stokely stares down Jon in the middle of the ring.
EARLIER TONIGHT, Renee was supposed to sit down with Saraya and Britt, but Britt has decided she didn’t need to be there, so they’ll do this without her. Saraya says she knows what it takes to be a star. Britt doesn’t care about anything but herself. Not the division, not the girls. Paige has been wrestling for 17 years. Britt should be lucky to even have this interview.
Renee officially welcomes her back. Why now? Why AEW?
Saraya calls AEW the rebel company, said she wanted to be a part of it because of that, so when the time was right, and the division could use some help, she felt she could give more to it.
Where does she stand medically, asks Renee.
Saraya is hesitant to answer. She says she will save this for next week. There is one more doctor that she wants to consult.
BACKSTAGE, Regal is with Schiavone! He brings up Jon vs MJF.
Regal says last week showed him that MJF has all the potential in the world, but still has a ways to go before becoming a true villain. At Full Gear, he will face a real demon in Jon Moxley.
THE ACCLAIMED are here! Caster spits some lines then Bowens makes mention of Daddy Ass’s hands, which were injured by Swerve, and now he cant scissor. Bowens says this has taken over the world, and scissors the camera man. We get a gift for Billy Gunn, though.
It’s the brand new foam scissors fingers! Bowens puts them on Daddy Ass, and they both scissor.
Max says there are a lot of great signs and shirts in the crowd, all to celebrate Daddy Ass. It really is true…AEW now stands for Acclaimed Every Wednesday. EVERYONE LOVES THE ACCLAIMED says Bowens…and everyone loves Daddy Ass. So who brought gifts for Daddy? Who in the crowd wants to give him a gift? He sends Max to go get a gift.
Max heads to the apron, makes some mention of signs in the crowd, grabs a pair of scissors from a kid, then scissors him and heads to the ring with the scissors. He hands them over to Daddy.
Bowens says they are not done…he’s been in the business for over thirty years and accomplished a lot. He is an 11 time Tag Team Champ, a 2 time tag team of the year, and in 2006, he was voted a port of the worst segment of all time. lol. He is a HOFer, a stand up guy and…..
They reveal a trophy that says WORLD’S GREATEST DAD(with dy added in pink marker)
Bowens says he had so much planned, with people from his past, but some were kind of upset he didnt go to the reunion, but he has been a mentor, a father figure, and has meant the world, so their final gift is…
A Certificate of Adoption. All he’s gotta do is sign it.
Here come Colton and Austin, looking like a couple more than siblings.
Well they got him a gift, anyway. It’s Morrissey with a big boot to Billy Gunn. The Gunns run down to beat down The Acclaimed.
FTR is here! They head down to the ring, so The Firm leave quickly. FTR grab the tag team titles and hand them over slowly to The Acclaimed.
Britt is backstage with Tony. She welcomes us to Tony, her interviewer, and to her interview. She will not jump because Renee and Saraya say so. She has been a victim of conspiracy for too long. Jamie just wants to wrestle. Britt also wants to wrestle. So find them a tag team for Friday. K? K.
Jericho is up next!
He says he is ready for an open challenge tonight. He doesn’t care which former champ, Pure, Tag Team, he’ll even whoop Lamar Jackson’s ass.
So this opens up the field quite a bit.
Match 3: ROH Championship Match
Chris Jericho vs Colt Cabana
WELCOME BACK to start.
Jericho actually extends his hand. Colt backs Jericho into the corner. Jericho shoves him. Colt shoves back, and beats Jericho down. Side headlock, rope work, shoulder tackle from Colt! Lockup into another side headlock. Shoudler tackle from Colt, Jericho tries to roll under but Colt stops and mounts then punches hard to the head. Crowd is loving Colt. Kick to the corner from Colt, whip from Jericho, big boot to Jericho, cColt hops over, lands on his feet, rolls Jericho up for 1..2.NO!!! Clothesline from Colt to Jericho to the outside!
Jericho with a right hand, elbows, rolls Colt ot the ring, Jericho to the top rope. Colt with a right hand, another right hand. Colt sits on the top rope, grabs Jericho for the skyline, but both men spill to the outside!!! Yeesh, looks like a fuckup.
We are back from break, and both guys are in the middle of the ring. Jericho with some forearms but here comes Colt with a Flying Apple. Chops to Jericho. Colt chops Jericho in the corner. Whips. Reversed. Right hand from colt. To the 2nd rope, and he falls with a splash. Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Colt to the top rope again, but Jericho crotches him. Jericho attacks the back. Jericho sits Colt on his shoulders, turns, Colt clubs the chest, roll through for a 1..2…N!O!!! Jericho shoots the legs, spins slowly, kick up from Colt. Inside cradle from Colt and a 1..2..NO!!! Colt with a right, another, another, tries for an elbow, but Jericho with a eye poke!! He tries for Judas, Colt ducks, backslide, no! Billy Goat’s Curse! Jericho rolsl out of the hold and kick Colt away. Colt hits the ropes, Superman pin! 1..2…N!O!!
Hager pulls Colt off Jericho! Colt to the apron! Moonsault to Garcia and Hager! Flying Apple in the corner! Codebreaker out of the corner from Jericho! Cover for 1..2….3!!!
Winner: Chris Jericho
Perfectly average showing from Colt and his momma’s bank account.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 8:48
As Jericho walks up the ramp, Parker and Menard grab the ROH ring announcer and hold him on his knees. Jericho breaks his glasses and is looking to give him a belt shot, but out come Claudio flying onto Jericho to stop him! JAS attack Claudio!! Here comes Danielson!!!! Garcia attacks. Here comes Sammy to attack Claudio. WHEELER YUTA us next!!! He’s out to fight Sammy! Hager attacks Yuta!
Security finally comes out.
RICK KNOX IS HERE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE NOW!!!!
Renee is backstage to talk to Death Triangle, specifically Rey Fenix.
He feels happy, great, ready. Tonight, he will be the new All-Atlantic Champ. PAC says he wants to interject. IF Rey wants revenge for Death Triangle, the hammer should be used.
Pac pulls out the ring hammer, tells him that this could be th golden ticket. Something to think about. Pac walks away.
Weird thing to expose in an interview your willingness to use an illegal object…
All Atlantic Match is NEXT and it features a FUCKING DINOSAUR!!!
Match 4: All-Atlantic Championship Match
Rey Fenix vs Luchasaurus vs Orange Cassidy
OC points to Lucha, tells Rey lets team up, and they both go at it. Chop from Lucha, GOOZLE from Lucha to Rey, Rey kicks out, chops, Lucha with an uppercut. GOOZLE to Orange, superkick from Rey, one from Orange, dropkick from Orange and Rey.
VICIOUS KICK FROM ORANGE! ANOTHER! ANOTHER!!! ANOTHER!!! Rey grabs the head, Orage whips him, Rey bounces of the ropes, mises a right, arm drag from Orange, he tries for a clothesline, Rey kicks, hops to the apron, locks the arm on the ropes, kick to the head, Rey hits the ropes, ducks under, springboard arm drag and a stomp is missed, spinning like a chopper DDT from Orange. Cover for 1..2.NO!! Rey with a crucifix for a pin 1..2…NO!!! Kip up from both men. Stalemate. They catch their breath. In comes Lucha, Orange tries for the pocket,s but Lucha is pissed. He tackles both men down. Lucha sends Rey into the post. He grabs OC and supelxes him across the ring. Splash in the corner, back elbow to Rey, one for OC, Rey side steps, but Lucha hits a clothesline to both men. Lucha stands on the top rope and holds his hands high.
WE are BACK! Christian is at the booth. Lucha is destroying the other two men. OC hits a cutter, holds the head, Rey with a superkick. Lucha pulls himself up in the corner, Rey with a kick to the head. OC with a Orange Punch! Lucha to the outside. Rey v OC again! They opt to, instead, suicide dive onto Lucha. GOOZLE from Lucha! He sends OC into the ring steps hard! Rey heads to the table where the hammer is. GOOZLE! CHOKESLAM ONTO THE TITLE!!!! BIG BOOT TO ORANGE CASSIDY UP THE RAMP! WE continue up the ramp, Ornge ducks, ORANGE PU—NO!!! Lucha catches the fist, spins the arm, and hits a headbutt to the chest! GOOZLE!!!! He looks to chokeslam OC onto the grate, but here is Jungle Boy with a chair!!! He smacks Lucha once, again. Cage comes, but JB chases him to the back. He turns back to Lucha and hits a crossbody to Lucha off the stage onto tables beneath them!
Rey and OC are back ringside, pulling themselves up by the rope. Here comes PAC with the ring hammer. He tosses OC into the ring, then hands the hammer over to Rey. Rey tells him no, tosses the hammer down, then gets back into the ring for…a roll through and a pin for 1..2.NO!! Rey reverses for 1..2..NO!!!
Superkick from Rey! Roll through, ORANGE PUNCH!!! Cover for .1..2…3!!!
Winner: Orange Cassidy
Sick ass ending.
Total Rating: *****
Match Time: 9:57
Pac attacks Orange with some stomps. He then grabs the hammer from ringside, and runs back into the ring to attack.
Some music hits, and it’s……..SHIBATA!!
Rocky Romero and The Best Friends are here with him!
Pac rolls out of the ring as Shabata rolls into it. OC puts on his shades and he has the contract for the future title shot. Shabata wants the title, OC hands over the contract and a pen. FACE TO FACE, and we will see this match at Rampage!
Swerve is backstage with another rapper that a majority of the audience will not care, Rick Ross. Ross says he is here for one reason – Swerve is the biggest wrestler in the industry and the largest recording artist in the world. They are celebrating today.
IN comes Lee to say hello, glad Rick Ross is here. Swerve hasn’t heard from him in a week. Lee says Swerve hasn’t responded. They are #1 contenders. However, Swerve cheated. Rick calls this a false accusation. Lee also wonders who was behind the camera when he attacked Billy Gunn. Swerve says he is admirable. Next week, eight man tag.
Match 5: Jade Cargill vs Marina Shafir
Bell rings, but Vickie Guerrero and Nyla come out with the title to…do commentary.
Jade corners Shafir, kicks and stomps Shafir down.
We get a split screen for a bit, then Jade heads to the outside of the ring. She kicks Shafir in the face, shoves her some more, as Vickie and Nyla eat chips on the mic.
Shafir chops the chest, knees from Shafir. Jade sends Shafir into the barricade. She rolls Shafir into the ring, then heads to the ramp. Jade walks up the ramp. Nyla tells her to pay attention to the ten count. Jade rolsl back into the ring, misses a right, Shafir locks up from behind.
Shafir tries for a knee bar, Jade up kicks hard, Huge BIG BOOT to Shafir! Jaded! Cover for 1..2..3!!!
Winner: Jade Cargill
What. The. Fuck. Was. This? You could almost see both Jade and Marina annoyed at this particular match. Or maybe it was just me. Yeah, it was just me.
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: Too long
That was crap.
Kiera attempts to take the title from Nyla, but Nyla sends Kiera to the ground and makes a run for it.
Video package for The House of Black, led with Julia Hart attempting to revive the dead bodies of Brody and Black. Sick vid.
Match 6: ROH TV Championship
Samoa Joe vs Brian Cage
LOCKUP!!!! Side headlock from Joe. Shoulder tackle gets nothing. Another and Cage eats it. Cage misses a clothesline as Joe flies off the ropes, hits the other side, and gets a tackle that drops Cage!! Cage back up, corners Joe, some right hands. Joe with a huge chop. Right hands to the chin. Again and a gain, chopping him into the corner. Joe grabs the head, Cage fights back. Chop from joe. Whip to the corner ,back elbow, high enziguri. Snapmare from Joe, chop to the spine, kick to the chest, Joe with an elbow drop off the ropes! Cover! 1…NO!!!! Cage jumps in the air, kicks Joe, then stomps him a few times on the mat. Cage corners him and hits some shoulders. Cage chokes Joe up on the top rope till 4. Cage kicks the mid, spinning heel kick to the chest. Cage whips, hits a clothesline, Kick to the mid, whip to the corner, uppercut, high kick and a German from Cage!!!
WE come back with Cage front flipping over the top rope onto Joe! Cage rolls into the ring to pose hard over the prone body of Joe. Cage lifts Joe, Joe is up with some rights!!! Kick from Cage. Cage hits the ropes, Joe with a chop! He lifts Cage, Inverted Atomic, hits the ropes, big boot! Running senton from Joe! Cover for 1..2.NO!! Joe tries for a musclebuster, Cage escapes, hits the ropes, 619 to Joe! Cage to the top rope! He dives, spins mid air and drops an elbow for 1..2…NO!!! Cage with a Pumphandle sit out bomb to Joe! Damn! Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Cage goes for a huge clothesline, but Joe locks in a sleeper! Back suplex from Cage! LARIAT FROM CAGE! Cover for 1..2…NO!!!!
Cage is up first. Calls for the end. He lifts Joe to the shoulders, Joe floats off, sleeper again, Cage tries for the suplex again, but Joe switches and locks the leg scissors! Cage taps!
Winner: Samoa Joe
Solid match for a main event, even if some may not care about the participants due to their distinct lack of presence for the better part of the year.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 11:25
Joe is attacked as soon as the bell rings, but here comes Wardlow to even the odds. The Embassy leave the ring as Wardlow enters the ring. The Embassy leave the ring.
Wardlow stands tall until…POWERHOUSE HOBBS attacks and leaves Wardlow laid out as he holds the title up high.
End Show
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