wrestling / TV Reports
Acero’s AEW Dynamite Review 3.17.21
Image Credit: AEW
Loading...It’s Wednesday…you know what that means.
MJF and his crew arrived on a private JET earlier today.
Match 1: Penta El Zero M vs Cody Rhodes
Penta starts in with the kicks before Cody can get his shirt off. Cody gets Penta to the outside, but Penta sends him face first into the ringpost. Penta with a kick to the back of the thigh.Kick from Penta. He rips Cody’s shirt off. They’re in the ring, Penta chops hard. Penta puls Cody’s arm around the ring then goes for another chop, but Cody no-sells that and asks for another. Another. He kicks. Front Suplex to Penta. Cody hits the ropes, ducks under a clothesline, slingblade from penta. Cover for 1..2…NO!! Cody up. He locks the head. Knee from Penta. Whip to Penta, he hops over and hits a backstabber! Cover for 1..2..NO!!!
Penta grabs an extra barricade from the outside. He finds a St Patrick’s Day hat and puts that on, then kicks Cody in the leg again. He hgets a firemans, Cody slides off, ick to Penta, club to Cody. Penta on the apron. They both head to the top rope, Cody flies high and locks the head, headscissoring Penta off the top! Penta runs with a kick. He stomps the shoulder of Cody. Cody is u, Arn distracts, Firemans from Cody. Penta on the apron. High kick to the side of the head. Cody with a Disaster Kick!! Cody hits the ropes. Dives!! Cody sends Penta into the ring. Penta kicks Cody as he enters. Chop to Cody against the ropes. Cody hits the ropes. Canadian Destroyer! Cutter! Cover for 1..2….NO!!! Penta is up, though. He kicks. Cody catches. Cross Rhodes! Cover for 1……2…..NO!!! Cody gets Penta upside down on his back, and drops him on his neck! Cover for 1`…2…NO!!!! Penta with another chop. Kick from Cody. Whip to the corner. Penta drops down to his feet, Cody drags him on the outside and swings his leg into the post. Cody drags Penta to the center of the ring. He tries for the Figure Four. Penta locks the arm, twists, and ends up on the back of Cody. He pulls back on the arm of Cody with the knee to the back, snapping the shoulder.
Penta celebrates, buy Cody rolls Penta up for a 1..2……3!!!
Winner: Cody Rhodes
I expected a lot of fun here, and got that for the most part. I see Penta switch from the leg to the arm, and I enjoy that, but it ultimately meant little, as they chose a very WWE route, ending the match with a rollup. I’m not 100%, but I think this is the first “rollup pin” that I’ve seen work, and can’t say that it made me happy. I’m sure there are many other ways to prolong this program.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time:10:08
Penta attacks!!! The Gunn Club and Dustin come to stop the beatdown.
Backstage, Young Bucks are with Marvez. Matt talks about how Rey beat each of them in Singles competition, but they are the best tag team in pro wrestling.
In comes Callis who says they sound like they believe what they say. Don has a shirt for their dad. It reads Don’t slap the leg on it. Ok…
Don says he wants to see The Young Bucks from Japan, they founded this place, been here for a while, but there’s nothing Elite about them anymore. They’ve killed their careers, let everyone take credit for things here. Don brings up the changed Omega, says he’s a God of Pro-Wrestling. Bucks are down in the basement, Omega doesn’t recognize them because they’re not elite anymore. Don has a question – when you look in the mirror, do you see the same Bucks that he saw in NJPW?
Match 2: Jade Cargill vs Dani Jordyn
Jade starts with a flex, it’s not effective. Go behind from Cargill, elbow from Dani, hits the ropes, big pump kick from Jade. She fixes her hair as she waits for Dani to wake up. She locks the waist and hits a huge release German Suplex. Kip up, and Jade points at the beaten Dani.
Jade grabs the arm, locks the arms from behind, and hits a Glam Slam! Cover for 1..2….3!!!
Winner: Jade Cargill
Squish
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 1:12
Jade heads to ringside to call out Red Velvet. Red swings and misses, saying she’ll go right now if Jade wants it. Jade says not tonight.
MJF, Tully, FTR, Spears, and Wardlow are here!
Tully on the mic. He says it’s great bein in the middle of this ring with this group of guys, because a week ago, they stood in here with the greatest group AEW had – The Inner Circle. You saw what happened to them. He guesses that makes this group the baddest group in the AEW. They are the pinnacle of this sport – years ago, he was with the greatest group of guys in the history of professional wrestling; and he’s going to finish his career with the greatest guys in professional wrestling.
MJF on the mic now, says he guess he is Judas now. Pretending to like Jericho was no walk in the park. It wasn’t easy being th most charismatic man and having to take a back seat for 6 months. He’d have to fall back as far as Jericho’s hairline. It wasn’t easy separating he and Sammy as far apart as his left pec from his right. He convinced Jericho and everyone else, including us, that he wanted to take over The Inner Circle. This was all a ruse. From Day 1, the goal was to kill The Inner Circle from the inside. He wanted to defeat, to end the strongest faction in all of AEW, and on top of its remains,he wanted to build one even stronger.
Tully was right – he’s noly the greatest mind in the history of professional wrestling – when he called them The Pinnacle. That is exactly what they are. He introduces the best big man in pro wrestling today, Wardlow. He moves over to Shawn Spears, Double SS, a wrestler’s wrestler. He brings up FTR next, saying the are the greatest on God’s green earth. Then there’s MJF. He’s noly been on TV for a year, and is already on top. He’s unstoppable. He’s only going to get better. He’s got plenty of gas left in the tank. He bets we want to punch our tv. We know that the top spot is reserved for him. They are. As The Pinnacle, they will take what they want when they want, and what they want is their locker room. Before he takes that, though, he wants to say something:
He’s better than Jericho, and he knows it.
WE COME BACK AFTER A BREAK and Matt Hardy is in the ring. He gets a small square promo about building an empire.
Match 2: Jurassic Express and Bear Country vs Private Party, Butcher, and Blade, and Matt Hardy
Stunt and Quen to start, but Matt wants in. He knees Stunt, Stunt hops off the back slide and slaps Matt. Matt misses a clothesline, Stunt backs into the corner, kicks out, dives into the arms of Matt. Jungle Boy got a tag, though, and dives off with a dropkick. All the mens go into the ring to fight. The faces clear the ring of the heels. Bear Country grabs Stunt and throws him out of the ring like a freakin paper plane. Lucha and JB kind of take offense. Quen enters, and Boulder clips Jungle Boy with a boot. Matt enters the ring and hits a Side Effect.
We back to the show and Lucha is tossin fools everywhere. Blade enters and Lucha locks up and hits a German, then kips up and Lucha grabs the head of Kasidy, Quen entesr and pulls Kassidy off the shoulders, they miss a clothesline, and Lucha tail whips to Kassidy, then kicks Quen. GOOZLE!!! Chokeslam to Kassidy, moonsault and a pin for 1..2.NO!!! Butcher in, Lucha with a headbutt, Butcher hits a clothesline! Stunt with a missile dropkick, kicks Butcher, slides back t othe apron. Kassidy, the legal man I believe, goes to Lucha. GOOZLE AGAIN! Kassidy with an uppercut, Lucha tags in Bronson, who hits an exploder. Mark tags himself in and runs into. Boot from Kassidy. He tags in Quen who sends Stunt int othe corner. Kassidy eats an elbow, Stunt kicks out of the corner, kicks again, Matt attacks Stunt as PP distracts, Quen with the gin and juice to Stunt!!!
Matt wants the tag! Matt locks the head. Twist of Fate. Cover for 1..2…3!!!!
Winners: Matt Hardy, Butcher and Blade, and Private Party
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 8:47
We speak to Christian backstage. He brings up the term workhorse. WE know their reputation. He makes wrestling better, wrestlers level up. He is THE Workhorse in professional wrestling. If anyone forgot, they’ll remember pretty damned quick. He also says there is only one spot that interests him, and it’s the one Omega has. Last week, Omega scooped in on his time. He gets it, he wasn’t mad.
Kingston makes his entrance, but Gallows and Anderson attack from behind! Moxley is out for the save! Gallows and Anderson make short work of them, though. Hitting Magic Killer to Moxley on the outside! They roll Moxley into the ring. Anderson attacks. They’re the legal men. Lol.
Match 3: Gallows and Anderson vs Jon Moxley and Eddie Kingston
Gallows beats down Eddie into the corner with boots. Tag to Anderson. Boot to the chin of Eddie. A boot to the chin. Tag to Gallows. He whips a kick to the back of the head. Cover for 1..2…NO! Gallows Big Boots Moxley off the apron.
We are back! Tag to Anderson! Tag to Eddie. Exploder to Anderson! Tag to Moxley. Clothesline. Another. Locks the head. Sends Anderson over, and Jon locks up and hits a German! Shotgun dropkick! Hard right to the face. Stomps in the corner to Anderson. Back elbow to Gallows. Whip to the corner, reversed, Anderson misses, Jon hits a piledriver! Pin or 1..2…NO!!! Gallows stops it, knee from Moxley! He hits the ropes! Suicide dive to Gallows! Jon enters the ring. SPINEBUSTER! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Tag to Gallows. He grabs Jon, sets up on the shoulders. Running kick to the head of Jon from Anderson! Kingston enters, Right from Gallows, back suplex into a neckbreaker from Good Brothers. Cover to Moxley for 1..2…NO!!! Tag to Anderson. Anderson slaps Moxley around, Jon smacks him back, Anderson strikes him down. Magic Killer attempt, but here is Eddie to stop the attack!
Gallows uppercuts, Kingston sends him outside, Gallows pulls Eddie outside and sends him into the barricade. Anderson locks the head, ROLLUP FROM MOXLEY!! Pin for 1…2…3!!!
Winners: Jon Moxley and Eddie Kingston
Did AEW and WWE switch bookers tonight? When the company damn near makes a point to make their claim that rollup pins just aren’t what they do, and yet we see two out of three matches thus far end with one. Maybe not a big deal, but it’s very glaring, and in this specific match, kind of annoying considering Gallows and Anderson kicked Kingston and Moxley’s ass pretty much the entire match.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 9:52
Gallows attacks after the bell. Anderson joins him! Here comes Omega and Callis with a chair!
Omega sits on a chair, just over Moxley. Kingston comes flying in outta nowhere, but the numbers are too much. Gallows and Anderson hit a Magic Killer. Omega kicks Jon in the face, boot to the head. Omega grabs the chair from Don. He hands it to Anderson. They lock the leg of Kingston in the chair. Jon tries to save him. Omega stops Jon. Anderson flies off the top rope and stomps the chair. Omega kicks Eddie out of the ring.
They head to Jon, looking to trap his head with the chair and do the same shit they did to Eddie. Young Bucks come out to stop them. Omega is pissed. He heads to the top rope, but Matt stops him. Good Brothers and Omega yell at Young Bucks. Good Brothers hold up the Too Sweet. They want the fingers. Omega holds it up. They want Young Bucks to join them. Matt says no. Nick isn’t down either. They leave the ring.
Omega turns Matt around hard, holds it up again, and pokes the head of Matt. Omega holds it up again, Matt leaves the ring, turns. Omega removes his shir and tosses it at the Bucks.
Jon is back up! He has the chair! He swings it around to everyone! Everyone leaves the ring. Don leaves the arena. Lol.
Kingston wants to get in the ring. He’s screaming for someone to get him in the ring with Moxley.
WE RETURN TO AEW, and Tony introduces Sting.
Darby is out next, and Tony brings up their match 10 days ago.
Darby says he won the TNT November 7, 2020, and has only defended it three times. He says it’s a joke. Now that everything is done with Team Taz, he wants to defend the title every week. He wants to start by paying tribute to the greatest TNT champion of all time.
BRODIE CHANT
Dark Order, if you want this title back, it’s an open challenge to any one of them.
Here comes Archer, pissed that Tony is out here to interview Sting yet again. Archer says this is his time, and it should be his time all the time. He tells Darby that the internet may think he’s terrific, but he’s the biggest indyriffic joke this biz has ever seen. If he likes coffins so much, he’s about to put Darby’s ass in one.
Jake grabs the mic, says Darby is going to freeze his ass off, and he better go backstage and put his bun back on because he ain’t nothin but a weenie.
Jake says the winds of change are comin, and Khan better realize you don’t play with fire. Archer is the biggest, baddest son of a bitch here. He tells the boys to be careful; it’s changing.
Tony apologizes.
He gets cut off again. It’s Tazz. He tells everyone to slow down; and not to get excited. Cage grabs the mic. He says he’s got something to say…to Sting.
Cage says he shows up like some hot shot and sticks this nose in their business weekly, and after all the bullshit, Cage has to say it – he respects Sting.
Tazz is upset. Cage says, more importantly, he wanted to tell him that Starks is wrong, Sting is still The Icon. Starks is pissed. Tazz is, too. Cage says he calls it like he sees it. Cage leaves. Tazz and Ricky follow, upset.
A video package of Scorpio Sky is here to talk about how he’s too nice of a guy.
Match 4: Rey Fenix vs Angelico
Rey locks the arm up with his leg, pulls the arm back, Angelico escapes, locks the head, turns the arm, Rey flips out of it, locks the wrist, Angelico turns into it and get Rey down to his head and tip toes, he trips, Rey lands on his feet, arm drag to Angelico. Both men up. Locking fingers. Angelico locks the arm, twists the wrist, Rey headbutts the chest, then chops. Antoher chop. He goes for a third, but Angelico locks the arm. Rey with a surprise sleeper. Rollthrough and a crucifix for a 1..2..NO!!! Rey with a nother rollup for 1..2..NO!!! Angelico misses a boot, Rey catches the leg, Angelico locks the arm and knees Rey down hard. He punches the back of Rey a few times, stomps it, and we go to picture in picture.
We are back, and Rey hits a springboard knee, then rolls out of the corner and hits a cutter!! Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Rey grabs the arm, twists, fireman’s, Angelico on his feet, attacks the back with a forearm, takes down Rey with the legs, wraps around them, death roll, but Rey has the ropes!!! Ref breaks it at 4. Angelico is upset. He stands, kicks the taped up back of Rey. He tries for the death roll again, but Rey sends him to the ropes, Angelico rolls over the back, wheelbarrow, pin, 1..2..MO!! reversed pin for 1..2..NO!!! ENIZGURI from Angelico! Thrust Kick from Rey!! Roundhoue from Angelico!!!
Both men faint into one anther, lock fingers, Pheonix with a Crucifix Bomb!!! Knee and a piledriver! Cover for 1..2….3!!!
Winner: Rey Fenix
Holy shit man, Rey can do no wrong. Extra points for Pac’s actions fterwards.
Total Rating: ****
Match Time: 7:31
Pac slides in IMMEDIATELY and talks shit to the fallen Angelico.
Bakstage, Earlier Today, Marvez comes up to Miro to ask about the rematch. Miro says Charles is really trying to sweeten up the deal ,but he is not interested. Miro has moved on. Kip comes in, he hasn’t moved on. They ruined his wedding. Miro is supposed to care. Kip says that they can’t forget that Miro pushed Charles into his wife. She’s hurt. Miro says the worst thing for your career is having your wife at ringside. Now remember this, when that bell rings – he doesn’t care about Kip, his wife, his family drama, or his opponent – all he cares about is the destiny. The win. The world championship. Kip wants this for him, too. Outside the ring, they are still buds.
Miro leaves.
Kip accepts the rematch.
The Dark Order is backstage, all in green. -1 accepts the open challenge. Evi Uno says maybe in about ten years. He then asks the group at large. What about John? Silver accepts as everyone chants MEAT.
Match 5: Britt Baker vs Thunder Rosa
Before the match can start, Rebel attacks Rosa with a crutch! Rosa makes chase, but Britt spears her through the ropes and covers for a one count. Britt sends Rosa off the stage to the mat below, and grabs a chair .She swings it at the face of Rosa, but Rosa moves. Britt drops chaitr shots to the gut. Rosa is up. She grabs the chair and tosses it to the face of Britt. Smack to the back of Britt. Rosa attacks Rebel, then goes back to choke up Britt. A hard smack to the back. Rosa sends Britt over the barricade, then hops over along with her. Britt walks through the crowd, but Rosa follows. She grabs the head and sends Britt into a chair. Rosa with a boot to the back of the head. Waist lock from behind. Rosa tries for a rolling senton into the chair, but Britt moves and Rosa collapses. Pin for 1..2..NO!!! Britt takes Rosa back ringside. She drags Rosa over to the ringpost. Punch from each girl, Britt whips Rosa int othe stage side. Britt grabs a table from under the ring. She sets it up with Rebel. Britt enters the ring and walks over to where Rosa is on the outside. BRITT STOMPS HER HEAD INTO THE TOP OF THE RING STEPS!!!! Ouch. Britt rolls to the outside and grabs a few chairs from under the ring. She tosses them into the ring. Rosa is busted open!
PIP is over, and Rosa is on the top rope. SUPERPLEX ONTO THE STEEL CHAIRS!!! Britt covers for 1..2..NO!!! Rebel grabs a ladder from underneath the ring and sends it inside. Britt grabs it. Rosa is up. She hits a bulldog onto the ladder!!! Rosa covers Britt for 1..2…NO!!! Britt sits in the corner. She stomps. Rosa puts a ladder in front of Britt. She hits a dropkick!! Britt is busted open!! She is pouring! Rosa attacks with right hands to the gut. She brings Britt into the ring. Ref tries to hold her back. Rosa grabs the ladder. She sets it up on the bottom rope She grabs Britt and BITES HER HEAD!! Britt pushes her. SUPERKICK TO ROSA! Britt grabs the head, FLATLINER TO ROSA! Britt stands, blood covering her entire face. Britt to the top rope! Rosa with a hard right hand. She climbs the corner. Firemans to Britt! Rosa with a Death Valley Driver off the top rope onto the lader!!! Rosa covers for 1..2….NO!!! Britt is able to hit a DDT onto the chair!!! She sends Rosa over to the chair. STOMP ONTO THE CHAIR!! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Britt asks for the glove. She grabs a bag first. It’s got thumbtacks!!! Britt grabs Rosa, hits a hard riht hand. She locks the head and drags Rosa over to the tacks She looks for a swinging neckbreaker. Rosa reveres. Rebel with a crutch! Rosa smacks her head with it! Rebel is setn to the apron. Dropkick to Rebel! She crashes through the table!!! Britt with a fireamans, Rosa reverses, POWERBOMB ONTO THE TACKS!!! LOCKJAW OUT OF NOWHERE!
ROSA ROLLS INTO A PIN INTO THE TACKS!!! Britt is COVERED in blood! SUPERKICK TO ROSA!!! Both girls on the apron. FIRE THUNDER DRIVER THROUGH THE TABLE ON THE OUTSIDE!! Cover for 1…2…..3!!!!
Winner: Thunder Rosa
Holy…Shit. Honestly, I figured we’d get some plunder. What I didn’t guess, or even assume was Britt blading like Eddie and both women going balls to the wall like this was the main event of wrestlemania. They may very well have single-handedly saved this episode. Jesus.
Total Rating: ****
Match Time: 16:37
JR gives us some immense hyperbole as we end the show.
