wrestling / TV Reports
Acero’s WWE Smackdown Report 06.12.20
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Hey y’all! I’m back home from Texas. I survived a red state! Yeehaw! Saw a whole lot of Forgotten Sons, I’ll tell ya that much.
We head to last week, where Jeff poured out his guilt and triumph for the world to see. Tonight, there will be a contract signing. That happens…next.
Quick question: is it insensitive to drink during a Jeff Hardy segment?
Renee Young is in the middle of the ring. Sheamus comes out with a “doctor,” and some stagehands that bring into the ring a foldable box of sorts that is covered in black cloth. The doctor has a jar in his hands. Man, I’ve seen better “doctor” outifts at Halloween parties in Hollywood.
Ah, it looks like the curtained box is for “discretion.” Sheamus says he told the police he had nothing to do with what happened to Jeff and Elias. Jeff says Sheamus has no idea what he unleashed, and that the security Sheamus brought won’t help him come Backlash.
Before Sheamus signs, he wants some insurance. He doesn’t know if it’s the booze or pills but Sheamus had his lawyer convince WWE Management that before he put his signature on the line, Jeff would have to take a urine test.
Jeff: “My name is Jeff Hardy, and I’m an alcoholic.”
Oh, well I’ll be damned.
Jeff says he’s been battling this since his early 20s He goes to meetings every week and talk about how he let his family and fans and self down. He’s sick and tired of bein sick and tired. His demons are starving. Insert cliché #3 here.
It appears the doctor here has a rapid test and will supervise the entire thing. Sheamus asks Renee to leave, as it appears jeff has stage fright.
Wait, so is he bustin a nut?
Sheamus cuts a quick PSA while Jeff takes a PIS(s) then asks Jeff to hurry it up.
The amount of urine in the jar is ridic, and if it doesn’t end up all over Sheamus, this is all for naught.
And there ya go, Jeff takes the piss and tosses it into Sheamus’ face.
So, is Jeff pregnant, or????
We come back to Sheamus gargling piss.
The doctor walks in and says that Jeff’s results came back (from where, foo?) They were negative. Sheamus is so mad that he destroys soap.
The New Day come out and take a knee in the middle of the ring.
Match 1: The New Day vs Cesaro and Shinsuke Nakamura
Bell rings and we’re starting with Cesaro and Kingston. Kofi flips out of a wrist lock, trips Cesaro up, hits a splash and a pin for 1. Rope work and Cesaro catches kofi in the middle of the air and hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Tag to Shin who chokes up Kofi in the corner then goes full Roger Rabbit on him. Kofi comes out of the corner and hits a stomp to the chest. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Kofi with a clothesline, sending Shinsuke to the outside. Tag to Big E. Kofi hits the ropes and Big E sends him flying to Shinsuke. Big Boot from Cesaro to Kofi. Big clothesline from Big E to Cesaro. E grabs Shin and sends him into the ring. Cesaro holds the leg and Shinsuke sends Big E of the apron. Uppercut from Cesaro!
We are back and Cesaro uppercuts Big E then sets him up for the tagged in Shinsuke, who drives a kick into the gut of Big E. cover for 1..2..NO!!! Tag to Cesaro and he’s in with a fist to the face of Big E. He drives the fist in while workin the arm from behind. Whip. To the corner, Big E hits an elbow. Big E with a belly to belly. Tag to Kofi, who comes in with a right, another, dropkick, high hit from Kofi. Boom Drop from Kofi. Kofi ducks a clothesline from Cesaro, and Nakamura takes advantage, but not for long as Kofi hits the SOS. Pin for 1..2.NO!!! Cesaro in to break it up. Big E in! He sends Cesaro over the top rope and follows. Kofi with a swinging kick out of the corner. Top rop for Kofi. Shinsuke heads up, locks the head.
Kofi fights him off with rights, clubbing him all the way down. Kofi flies with a crossbody, into a knee!!! Rollup for 1..2…3!!!
Winners: Shinsuke Nakamura and Cesaro
Shout out to Kofi and Big E for the BLM bands and kneel. A relatively bland match otherwise that picked up action simply because Kofi is Kofi. Nothing bad here, but also nothing to see, unless you have a huge crush on Cesaro like a certain someone in the Acero household does…
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 7:18
Big E rushes in the ring to help Kofi up as Cesaro and Nakamura head up the ramp.
Backstage, Otis is blindfolded as Tucker tells him he needs all other senses. He hears a bell, he smells beef, he feels Mandy’s lips. Mandy is sorry to interrupt but wanted to wish ihm luck and hand him his briefcase. They peck and she’s on her way. Tucker asks for focus. Braun is their partner, so if the opportunity presents itself, tonight could be his night.
Off camera, Sheamus and Jeff hardy are going at it. We pan to them beating each other next to very loud backstage items. Referees come to break it up.
We get an IC Title Video Package narrated Corey Graves.
Match 2: Intercontinental Championship Match
AJ Styles vs Daniel Bryan
Lockup to start, naturally. Bryan works the left arm, AJ flips out of it, then works the arm of Bryan. Bryan rolls out, reverses, uses his leg to break the hold, AJ turns into it and gets one of his own. Bryan rolls forward, rolls out, breaks, dropkick to the face and AJ backs into the corner as Bryan smirks. Test of Strength but AJ kicks cuz he’s for sure the heel. AJ locks the head, grabs the trunks, and goes for a suplex, but Bryan stops. AJ releases and hits a throat thrust. Aj runs, Bryan moves and sends him to the outside. Suicide dive from Bryan!
We return and Bryan gets a quick one count before working the left arm a bit. AJ backs him into the ropes, leap frog, up and over and a dropkick to Bryan! AJ is able to adapt and slam Bryan’s face to the mat then work out his arm. Rope work and Bryan hits a knee! Bryan picks the ankle. He looks for the surfboard but can’t reach his arm out, so drops the knees instead. He then sits on the right leg and pulls back on the chin of AJ, doesn’t like the submission, so turns and drop a modified deathlock on AJ. He sits on the back and pulls his arms back and rolls into a pin for 1..2..NO!!!! Daniel with an uppercut. He hits a few kicks in the corner, hits the corner, goes for the running dropkick, but Aj flies over Bryan and rolls up for 1…2..NO!!! They go back and forth with pins, each getting a two, until AJ holds a side headlock and takes down, leg scissors by Bryan, into a pin for 1..2…NO!!!! Bryan wants a backslide, but Aj releases. Both men hit the ropes! DOUBLE CROSSBODY!!!
We are back, and Bryan is workin the left arm but AJ falls and rolls up for a 1..2..NO!!! Bryan hooks the arm with his leg! He wants the Yes Lock! AJ is able to turn into the hold, lift the legs and catapults Bryan to the outside! AJ flies over the top rope, Bryan catches, waist lock, and he sends AJ shoulder post into the ring post! Bryan drops a foot on the elbow, sending AJ’s arm into the post hard. Bryan leaves the ring and grabs the let arm then sends AJ into the ring. Bryan hops up and in and locks the fingers of the left arm. He lifts AJ, as AJ tries to create separation. Right hands from AJ to the face, Bryan works the arm, then drops an elbow on it. Bryan steps on the elbow again, sending AJ’s hand into the mat the hard way. He gets a hammerlock then pulls back on the arm of AJ, all while his knee is centered in the back of AJ. Bryan double underhooks, looks for a pin, AJ rolls all the way to the outside. He’s on the apron. Whip to Styles. Bryan goes for a running dropkick, but AJ moves! Bryan crashes! AJ grabs the leg and drags Bryan towards the apron, then pulls on the leg hard and falls down to the mat, twerking Bryan’s knee hard. He rolls back in, grabs the left leg, and drops a knee on it. AJ hangs Bryan up on the 2nd rope, then kicks over and over, attacking the knee. Surprise enziguri from Bryan! Both men down!
Both men up. AJ in one corner, Bryan rushes it, AJ kicks up and hops on the apron. He goes for a springboard, but Bryan shoves AJ and he tumbles over the ropes into the ring. Bryan grabs AJ and pulls him up in the corner. Kicks from Bryan in the corner. Ref hits 3 and Bryan sits AJ up on the top rope. He hops up, Frankensteiner to AJ off the top rope! Bryan up first. He slaps his knee. Bryan with the Yes kicks! After three, he misses a fourth and AJ hits a few rights and lefts, but Bryan with a clothesline, and both men are down again!
We are back after another break, and AJ and Bryan are trading chops and rights until AJ kicks the knee. He then gets sent over the top rope by Bryan! Bryan favoring the leg, but smells the blood. He hits the ropes, dives, but AJ hops on the apron and kicks Bryan who is trying to fly! AJ on the apron. He pulls himself up. Springboard. Bryan is waiting, he hooks the arm, double underhook! Suplex into an arm bar!!! AJ turns into it! CALF CRUSHER!!!! AJ pulls back hard! Bryan reaches for the ropes. AJ pulls hard, but Bryan grabs the arm and gets an arm bar!!!! AJ turns into the hold, Bryan gets a triangle, AJ pulls him up, Bryan releases, stands, runs and kicks the arm out from under Bryan!!! Hard kick to the face! Cover for 1…2…NO!!!! Bryan gets AJ to the top rope. He’s seated, back facing Bryan. Bryan hops up, and eats a few elbows, knocking Bryan off. Bryan flies back with a forearm to the back. He hops back on the top rope, but Aj hits some elbows. Bryan falls flat on his back. Aj to the top rope. Bryan BACK with another forearm! Bryan attacks the back, and AJ seems weak. Bryan locks up from behind, AJ stands, Bryan wants a back suplex. HE GETS IT!
Back after another break, and Bryan has AJ in the corner. He gets whipped, Bryan flips over, lands on his knee, AJ hits the 2nd rope, moonsaults, grabs the head and drops Bryan hard then pins for 1..2…NO!!!! Bryan clubs the back, but AJ hits a pele kick! AJ grabs the head, HARD suplex! Brainbuster more like it! Pin for 1..2..NO!!!! AJ is up first. He limps towards Bryan. He lifts Bryan bt the head, calls for the Styles Clash, but Bryan turns it into a jackknife cover! 1..2..NO!!! AJ goes for a Pele! BRYAN CATCHES!!! ANKLE LOCK!!!! AJ stands on one leg. GERMAN from Bryan! Pin for 1..2..N!O!!! Bryan won’t let go. AJ reverses. GERMAN! Pin for 1..2..NO!!!! AJ won’t release his ohld. Bryan breaks it, reverses. GERMAN! Pin for 1..2..NO!!!! Bryan has his hold still. He drives elbows into the chest of AJ. YES LOCK! AJ gets to the ropes! Bryan feeds off the Yes Chant! He grabs AJ’s left arm, grabs the right, pulls up. Stomps to the face of AJ. Bryan is hyped. He wants the knee. He’s in the corner. He’s got the crowd behind him. AJ is up. Bryran runs, He hops up, AJ catches! STYLES CLASH!!! AJ doesn’t pin!!! He reaches for the ropes! He didn’t pin! AJ drags himself to the apron. AJ pulls himself up. Bryan stands.
AJ pulls himself up. Springboard. Phenomenal Forearm! Pin! 1….2….3!!!
Winner: AJ Styles
Poor Edge and Orton. In all seriousness, this had everything going for it, and truly the only knock is the fact that the commercials killed the momentum. Still, I feel like they were aware of that and allowed for a recapture of breath as we came back each time. Aside from the multiple breaks, this had everything going for it.
Total Rating: ****1/2
Match Time: 37:58
AJ gets some mic time with Renee. He’s the best WWE Champion that the WWE has ever seen. He is Phenomenal.
We get to se the antics of Miz and Morrison from last week that were as hilarious as an Irish wrestler getting piss in his face.
Sasha Banks is here to celebrate. Only she exists. Nothing else matters.
Her little friend says that she doesn’t suck, and instead, she’s at the top of her game. Some say it’s lonely at the top, and she understands why people say that; it can be lonely, but she’s not lonely, because she’s got Sasha Banks with her. They are OUR WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions.
Sasha tells us she told us so, but we didn’t want to listen. They are the role models, the leaders, not liars. These titles represent their friendship, and they will only get stronger, because they are unstoppable together.
Bailey has a poem.
I wonder if it’s a Hager special.
We don’t find out because Alexa and Nikki’s music hits. Alexa says she’s fine with the celebration, but she draws the line at the poetry.
Bailey says they’re trying to have a moment. Nikki says it’s ok; they love a good party.
Iiconics are on the tron; they say that they’ve each beaten Alexa and Nikki, and they ere also the ones who ended Sasha and Bayley’s title reign the first time. They also left Sasha and Bayley laid out on RAW, and if they on’t want that to happen tonight, they shouldn’t turn around.
They do.
Alexa and Nikki attack.
Miz and Morrison are with Kayla, and they say it was an early birthday present that she got slimed. They introduce a new music video called “HEY! Hey Hey”
Just as it’s about to start, Braun Strowman’s music hits and he comes down to the ring for his match. Ok.
Match 3: Braun Strowman and Heavy Machinery vs The Miz, John Morrison, and Dolph Ziggler
Ziggler and Otis to start. Ziggler backs up[ and hops over the top rope to the outside. He taunts Otis a bit and I guess Miz was tagged? He gets pulled into the ring by Otis then body slammed. Otis tags in Tucker, who comes in to hit the ropes, and we get a double team move. Tucker headbutts Miz. Tag from Morrison. Tucker shots the leg. Morrison kicks out of it. Go behind and a side headlock. Miz up and over, but he lands on his feet, springboard and tries for an arm drag, but Tucker just flattens his ass. Nice. Tag to Otis. Strowman is in. He gets whipped into Ziggler. Looks like he’s the legal man, my bad. He drops a blow to the chest of Ziggler. Tag to Tucker. He grabs the head and sets up for a suplex. He waits, but on the Tron, Corbin is backstage. He walks up to Mandy.
Otis immediately runs to the back as Corbin talks about his crown being stolen. Mandy says she was just having some fun. Corbin understands; she is fantasizing about being with a man with power – with a king – fantasizing about being with Corbin.
In comes Otis who squashes Corbin against a fence and lays in with a bunch of punches and some stomps.
We are back, and Ziggler has a front face lock with Tucker. Tucker is able to stand up so Ziggler drags him to the corner. Tag to Morrison who comes in and kicks the gut of Tucker. Right hand to Tucker. John squares up, kicks the back of the leg Another high kick to the face and Tucker goes down .Pin for 1..2..NO!!! Morrison works the arm from behind, driving his elbow into the shoulder. Tag to Miz. Morrison is sent to the outside. Miz come in, looks for Figure Four Ziggler gets a tag, dives in and grabs the leg to prevent a tag. Tucker stands, Enziguri from Tucker! He reaches! TAG TO BRA—NO!!! Miz and Morrison pull Braun off. Disaster Kick from Morrison. DDT TO Braun! In the ring, Ziggler hits a DDT to Tucker.
Otis is back, with Mandy next to him. He tells her to wait on the ramp and hops on the apron to stare at Ziggler. Dolph goes for a Superkick, but Tucker hits a kick to the chin instead. Tag to Otis. Otis ends Miz and Morrison off the apron. He trucks dolph, again with a tackle. Body slam to the entering Miz. Up and down to Morrison from Otis, then he gets sent to the outside. Dolph with a right. Another right. Otis is PORKING UP!!! Headbutt. Lift and Ziggler is tossed to the outside!
Braun circles the ring, trucks Miz, then Morrison, then sends Ziggler into the barricade. He sends him back into the ring and Otis hits the fat worm. Elbow drop. Pin for 1..2…3!!
Winners: Braun Strowman and Heavy Machinery
I could have done without the Corbin interruption, and the sooner we get past the handicap match, the better. Wrestling wise, Tucker tangled like he had something to prove, and Morrison still amazes me at the age of 63.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 10:33
End Show
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