wrestling / Columns

Botched!: Orton in the Wyatt Family, Cactus Clotheslines, More

June 17, 2017 | Posted by Steve Cook

Hi, hello & welcome to the column that nobody in wrestling wants to be featured in, Botched! Seems like the main botch this week to most people was Dave Meltzer forgetting how many stars he gives matches. Here’s some other ones!

1. A Wild Randy Orton Appears…OUTTA NOWHERE

Bray Wyatt’s had a pretty interesting week, hasn’t he? We’re not here to talk about any botches he may or may not have done in real life, this is about something that happened during his segment on Raw. He talked a little bit backstage before coming out, like he usually does. Then he blew out the lantern and random graphics appeared 45 seconds into this video:

Randy Orton graphics, left over from his days with the Wyatt Family, appeared. Somebody probably clicked on the wrong “Random Wyatt Family Images” video clip, and ended up reminding us of this feud that ultimately didn’t accomplish much and we’d like to forget happened.

2. Silence That Phone, Noam!

Noam Dar was having some difficulty operating his phone this week. For one thing, unless you’re Paul Heyman you should be leaving your phone in the locker room during your match. Holy gimmick infringement, Batman! For another thing, he didn’t have the good sense to put it on Silent and everybody had to listen to Alicia Fox yelling at him during his brief match. I mean, how does one have their phone on that loud without going deaf.

The main reason I consider this a botch: Who watched this and thought “Man, I need to watch 205 Live this week?” Nobody. Who was impressed by Cedric Alexander hitting one move and beating Noam Dar? Nobody. Who wanted to hear Alicia Fox? Nobody. Who did this segment help? Nobody.

3. Cactus Clothesline

Mick Foley was quite the innovator of offense during his career. One of my favorite moves that I only ever saw him do before was the Cactus Clothesline, where he would clothesline somebody over the top rope while following them down to the ground. The clothesline over the top was a pretty common thing, but you usually didn’t see the deliverer of the move fly over the top rope with the recepient. It’s not a common thing today either, but Fandango attempted to bring it back during the eight-man tag on SmackDown Live featuring the New Day, Tyler Breeze & himself taking on the Usos & Colons.

10:30 into the match, Fandango tries to take an Uso out with a Cactus Clothesline, but doesn’t quite get him all the way over the top to the floor. It’s a pretty tough move to execute safely, but hopefully Fandango keeps trying it because it’s one of the better “take both guys out of commission for a bit” moves out there.

4. Nice Move, Wrong Attire

Lana managed to get herself a SmackDown Women’s Championship Match without having to take part in the Money in the Bank Ladder Match. That’s pretty cool. People are a little skeptical about it because she doesn’t have a ton of experience. She has been training hard, and showcased a new move on Tuesday night that left Naomi down and out about 40 seconds into this video:

To be fair, most people didn’t even notice the issues Lana had getting up because they were all like “OMG Lana did a wrestling move!” But wrestlers have to know that if they plan on attacking their current enemy they shouldn’t be wearing their ravishing blue dresses, as they’ll end up fighting with your clothing after completing the beatdown.

5. Asuka Downloads Some Pain For Ruby

Wrestling Asuka is always a tough night at the office. You’re going to lose, because she never does. You’re probably going to get hit & kicked really hard, and in some instances, you’ll probably get hurt. Ruby Riot got a taste of that last weekend at the UK’s Download Festival, when Asuka bounced her head off the corner of the steel steps and busted her open.

The match was stopped after, and Ruby required five stitches. She won’t miss any time though, and they’re already working it into the angle as she did an interview on Facebook Live saying Asuka busted her open to get the match stopped on purpose. Asuka has these things happen a lot during her matches…she’s very good at what she does, but you have to watch yourself if you’re in the ring with her.

Thanks for reading! If you see (or hear) anything wrong in the world of wrestling, let me know via Twitter or e-mail at [email protected] Have a good weekend!