wrestling / TV Reports
Ciocco’s AEW Fyter Fest 2025 Review
Image Credit: AEW
Loading...SICKOS! It’s Wednesday, but do you know what that actually means? Because tonight is no ordinary episode of Dynamite, as tonight is Fyter Fest! At four hours (and perhaps some overlap tonight, as has become tradition), this becomes, in essence, a FREE PPV show on TV! I mean, how can you beat that?
And to punctuate that point, we have a high-quality card on tap for tonight. Kenny Omega will put the International Title on the line against Brody King, Claudio Castagnoli, and Mascara Dorada, FTR will accept the challenge of Templario and Atlantis Jr, Mark Briscoe will face AEW World Champion Jon Moxley, LFI goes up against Mike Bailey, Komander, and Kevin Knight, and we’ll hear from the Hurt Syndicate. On the women’s side, Julia Hart and Skye Blue will face off with Mina Shirakawa and Toni Storm, and Thekla will make her in-ring debut for the company. All of that and, as always, so much more!
So, how are we doing tonight? I’m done counting the days until Thursday, when the NBA Finals finally get underway. There are only two ways that this can end:
1) The Pacers shock the world and win in seven games.
2) The Thunder murder us in five games.
There is no happy medium lol.
So, speaking of happy, let’s go to our happy place with Fyter Fest!
Image Credit: Follow the Revolution – FTR on Facebook
Tonight, Fyter Fest is LIVE from the Mission Ballroom in Denver, Colorado! Tony Schiavone, Excalibur, Ian Riccaboni, and Taz are our guys for the evening!
Even though this is Fyter Fest, we still get Sum 41 WITH WAR!!!
We get a rundown of some of the matches tonight. Toni Storm says grab your popcorn, endure the elevation, because her tits are taped, and she is ready to tango!
Schiavone is in the ring after this special introduction, he introduces The Billy Goat BRUV to the ring! Last week, after Dynamite, we saw a confrontation in the back between Ospreay and Swerve Strickland. In case you didn’t see it, we get it played for us again right now.
Tony wants his reaction to what happened. Will says Swerve has been his best friend for 12 years. It wasn’t his brightest idea trying to get Swerve and Hangman on the same page, they aren’t the enemy, that is Jon Moxley. If they could put aside their differences for one bloody night so they can retrieve the belt, then they can kill each other. Moxley has said that he hates what AEW has become, so Will says piss off, then! People like himself, Hangman, Swerve, Toni, etc have given it momentum. The only reason it sucks right now is because YOU are the champion. He gave Hangman his word, and that means something, in assuring that the title comes back to AEW proper. Will thinks that Hangman and Death Riders might be a threat, but he thinks Swerve might be. Will says that Swerve would stop Hangman from winning the title, but if Will has to be the one to stop him, he will. He loves him and would take a bullet for him, but he would take a bullet for AEW first. So, next week, Will is calling out Swerve for a fight.
CRU interrupt for…reasons? Aren’t you happy to see us, asks Andretti? This pow-wow you got going on, it’s cute and all, but he needs Colorado to shut your damn mouths.
Lio: OSPREAY, OSPREAY, OSPREAY!
He loves it, so do these people. If there is one thing he knows about Brits, it’s that they talk too much. And Will is doing a lot of talking. They just got off a 14-hour flight from Japan, Andretti is just chilling, but Lio has some pent-up anger. He thinks the worst thing about Will’s dumb ass is that he never stops talking.
Ospreay says that he would love to help him get that anger out tonight. They are sold out tonight, so how about tonight on Collision, he gets his crime fighting pants on and they’ll face off. And Swerve, sunshine, he’ll see you next week!
My thoughts: Well, Will gets a match tonight, and it will be with Lio, so that’s pretty cool. It should be pretty damn awesome, and I am very interested in how this Strickland-Ospreay thing unfolds.
We get the Mark Briscoe promo where he called out Moxley for a non-title fight. That match will kick us off tonight!
Non-Title Match: AEW Champion Jon Moxley (W/Marina and Wheeler) vs. Mark Briscoe
Stare down as the bell rings. Early lock-up favors Briscoe, as he gives a clean break in the ropes. Moxley bails to the floor. Upon trying to get back into the ring, Briscoe hits him with an up chop. On the floor now, Briscoe mounts Moxley on the chair and hits ten punches. Moxley escapes to the confines of the ring. Briscoe in, but Moxley turns the tables fairly quickly and takes Mark to the corner. Briscoe out of the corner and he jumps on Moxley with a rear choke. Briscoe with strikes and a headbutt. Moxley is like, enough of this shit and he hits a big boot on Briscoe. Moxley does some dental work on Briscoe in the corner. he grinds his forearm across Mark’s face in the ropes as we get MOXLEY SUCKS chants. Irish whip and follow-up clothesline. Moxley tries it again, but Briscoe cuts off Moxley and he drags Moxley through the ropes and to the floor. Dropkick through the ropes to Moxley. Briscoe stomps on the hand of Yuta, but he misses the cannonball attempt and hits the ring steps. Moxley and Shafir have the ref as Yuta sends Briscoe into the ring post face first. YUTA SUCKS chants as Moxley on the floor now, and Briscoe is busted open. In a match with Moxley, who knew? Moxley sits Briscoe in the chair and works over the gash in Mark’s head. PIP Break.
Some Pip with your Wine!
-Game one of the NHL Finals is tonight, but who cares when we have Fyter Fest?
-TNT, feel the magic!
-CHICKEN TENDIES AT APPLEBEES???
-Uber Eats, keeps you from getting in the pool!
-Smart WOODER!
-Luxe cravings box, at Taco Bell!
We’re back, as Moxley chews on the forehead of Briscoe like it’s an apple. YOU SICK FUCK chants, as Moxley sends Briscoe up and to the mat with a back body drop. The cover, Mark kicks out at two. Briscoe back to his feet, trying to fight back, but Moxley overpowers him. Moxley thinks he has done enough, but Briscoe invokes the power of Redneck Kung-Fu! He sends Moxley to the floor with his strikes. SUICIDE DIVE INTO A CANNONBALL ON THE FLOOR! Back in the ring, a basement lariat from Briscoe nets him a two count. Both men on their feet, it’s a forearm battle now. Moxley mixes in some kicks with his forearms. Briscoe counters with chops, off the ropes with a flying elbow. Moxley tries to suck Briscoe in, but Mark with a Jay Driller attempt. Moxley fights out and hits lariat. Paradigm Shift is countered with a lariat from Briscoe. Froggy Bow from Briscoe, but Moxley traps him in a choke. He turns it into the bulldog choke, then turns it into the cross-arm breaker. Briscoe gets to the ropes to break the hold, and he rolls out of the ring. Moxley has the ref, as Yuta runs Briscoe into the ring steps. Marina rolls Briscoe into the ring. Moxley approaches, but Briscoe with the DVD! JAY DRILLER! Briscoe very slow to capitalize, the cover, 2.8! Briscoe sits Moxley in the corner, Cutthroat Driver! Moxley fights out and kicks Briscoe to the mat. Bulldog Choke is attempted, but Briscoe rolls back into a cover, Moxley kicks out at 2. REF, YOU SUCK chants, as Moxley still has the hold in, and the referee calls for the bell.
WINNER: Jon Moxley
TIME: 14:10
THOUGHTS: Let it never be said that Briscoe cannot have a bad match with anyone, because he can’t, even with boring Moxley and the Interruption Riders. Mark winning wasn’t going to happen, as Jon has to remain strong heading into All-In, but he left it in the ring.
RATING: ***1/4
Mistico video package incoming! He’ll be joining us next week at Summer Blockbuster in Portland, Oregon, another 4-hour special!
CEO! Merecedes Mone is here, as she will provide commentary for the upcoming women’s tag team match. But before we can get that, we get the ads that put the lotion on the skin, or something.
COMMERCIALS!
AEW Women’s Champion Toni Storm and Mina Shirakawa vs. Julia Hart and Skye Blue
We’re back, as Mone says she will enjoy this match a lot more with a table for one. Some stagehands bring her a table, steak, and wine! Awesome!
Mina and Skye will start us off. Mina to the corner, but she goes up and over and hits a forearm to the face of Skye. Side Russian Leg sweep by Mina and Toni is in. Both ladies hit a back elbow, Toni down on her knees, Mina off her back with the splash. The cover, two count. Mina back in, looking Mina Driver, but Skye escapes and sends Mina to her corner. Cartwheel back elbow by Skye, and Julia is in. Hart baits Mina in and puts on the tarantula. Skye takes Storm off her corner and throws her into the barricade. Skye slams Mina down on her head, and my heart just skipped a beat, but it’s okay. PIP Break.
Science times, says Mr. Pants 🧐
We’re back, Skye takes Mina back to her corner and tags Julia in. We see Mone looking very upset that the fans are cheering for Toni. Skye takes Toni off the apron, as Hart does a mini-Taker Walk to Mina. Double team attack from Skye and Julia. The cover, Toni back to break it up. Mina tries to fight back, but Hart shuts that down. Hart puts Mina in the corner, Mina fights her off, Mina with the sling blade from the top. Storm FINALLY in the match, as is Skye, and Toni beats her all over the ring. Thesz Press by the champion! Backfist by Mina. KISS TIME! BOO! Skye and Julia try to ruin it, but they end up getting a double German instead. Shake and dance! Double hip attack! Chicken Wing from Toni! Skye taps out!
WINNER: Toni Storm and Mina Shirakawa
TIME: 9:50
THOUGHTS: Skye and Julia got a LOT in at the expense of Mina, but the champion made the save and looked like the star that she needs to be heading into All-In. Mina does no wrong, however.
RATING: *****3/4, it would have been six stars if Mina had won the match.
Lexi Nair in the back with Ospreay. It’s official, as it will be Strickland and Ospreay next week! MJF is here. He tells Will to stay out of the Hangman and Swerve’s business. If you help them out, Hangman’s chances of winning go up, but remember, you can’t beat Hangman.
Will knows what is going on here, he knows that MJF cannot beat Hangman.
MJF wants to know how Will’s son is doing. He goes to grab MJF, but the rest of the Hurt Syndicate is here to stop that. MVP says that they both have other business tonight, so good luck in your match. Everyone leaves, except for Lashley, as he straightens out Ospreay’s jersey for him. How nice lol. We’ll hear from them after the break.
COMMERCIALS!
WE HURT PEOPLE! The best dressed men in the company are here. We see the highlights from their title defense at Double or Nothing in the split screen. LASHLEY chants (he is from Colorado) lead into SHELTON chants. They boo MJF tho, LOL!
Attention, members of the AEW viewing audience. This is an official announcement from the Hurt Syndicate. He would like to address Roberto for a minute. He used to live in the Mile High City, but now that you live in Texas, what is your opinion of Denver? After some high drama, he gives them the thumbs down lol. That’s why he left this place. This is AEW, where the best wrestle, and he’s standing here with the greatest tag team that ever existed. You can put together your dream team of tag teams from across the universe, and they aren’t going to take the titles from them. If this is where the best wrestle, then why are they afraid to step up to the champions? There is NO ONE capable of beating the Standard of Excellence and the Almighty. Now, show respect to the young genius, Maxwell Jacob Friedman!
MJF would appreciate some silence while he is speaking. As you dumb Schmucks already know, MJF wants his Triple B back. That means, like those marks in the back, he is going to have to wrestle. That brings him to Mexico. Apparently, they think their top guy is Mistico. His country believes he is the best wrestler in the world, and well, that can’t be true, because he is! The best wrestler doesn’t hail from Mexico, he hails from the only country that matters in the world, the USA. He sold their stadium out, and he is the youngest foreigner to ever do it. He did it because, unlike you poors, he is a megastar, baby! Don’t believe it? Happy Gilmour 2 comes out July 25th! He thinks Mistico is a big fish in a really stinky pond. He is feeling anthropic, so he will watch his match next week, and if he thinks he is worthy, then maybe, just maybe, he will wrestle him at Grand Slam. When it comes to the Syndicate, it isn’t personal, it’s just business!
Speedball, Komander, and Kevin Knight are here. MVP says we have Bruce Leonard, the Blue Ranger, and Black Savage here. Komander says, according to Excalibur, that everything that comes from MJF’s match is complete garbage and is untrue. Bailey says you wanted the best, in front of them is a group of international killers.
MVP has a big laugh at this, but Knight says MJF might be a little bit uncultured, so he’ll keep it short and sweet. They can face them in the Mile High City tonight.
MVP says you want this. Sorry, you have a match already tonight! But if you want a tag title shot, why don’t you earn it and impress us?
LFI are here now, as they eye up the Syndicate, and likewise.
My thoughts” MJF and Mistico? That could be a lot of fun. I like the positioning of Knight and Bailey as possible tag team title contenders.
RUSH, Dralistico, and Mortos vs. Speedball Mike Bailey, Kevin Knight, and Komander
RUSH and Knight start us off, but all hell breaks loose, with everyone fighting all over the floor. Excalibur mentioned that Knight wrestled 12 matches in 25 days at the BOTSJ, as he is sent into the barricade by RUSH. Back in the ring, Knight with an arm drag on RUSH. Bailey in with a shotgun drop kick to RUSH. Komander with a drop kick to RUSH. The cover by Knight, two count. RUSH is isolated in the other corner, snapmare from RUSH into a low dropkick. Mortos with a kick to the back of Bailey, as LFI in the ring on the attack. They run the train on Bailey in the corner and end it with a triple team dropkick. Dralistico with a chop, RUSH with a chop, Mortos lifts up Bailey. All three members carry Bailey around now, and they launch Speedball into Knight and Komander. Okay, that was super creative lol.
PIP Piper
-From sea to shining sea, American footie!
-From the Universe of John Wick, Ballerina!
-Slipping on Sketchers helps at airport security!
-Jack Daniels!
-Men love their skin, so get Dove Men!
-That one shallow lake you’re in, Doug.
-Get your teen a meningitis shot.
-Coors Light? More like BARF Light, amirite?
-Febreze spray air mist is just a mask, honestly.
-SMART WOODER!
-Hey, a completely different footie tourney!
-NHL Stanley Cup Finals!
We’re back, as Bailey springs his way out of a double team. Komander with the tag, he uses the shoulders of Mortos to hit a DDT on Dralistico! Moonsault press from Komander! The cover, two count on Dralistico. RUSH and Knight get the tags. Knight isn’t afraid of RUSH and goes toe-to-toe with him. Knight with the upper hand for a second, RUSH responds with forearms and a rolling one for good measure. Bull stomps in the corner! RUSH threatens the HERNS, but he just kicks him in the face. Tranquillo pose! RUSH charges in, but Knight hits a tilt-a-world backbreaker! The cover, RUSH out at two. RUSH shuts him down with a knee to the face. Mortos gets the tag, meaning all of LFI are in! They signal for triple team offense, but their opponents escape with drop kicks. TRIPLE TEAM MOONSAULTS TO THE FLOOR BY THE GOOD GUYS! In the ring, assisted Code Red by Komander on Mortos for a two count. LFI are back in the ring trying to isolate Komander. Release German from RUSH and a Samoan Drop from Mortos. TOP ROPE CRUCIFIX BOMB BY DRALISTICO! The cover, Komander kicks out anyway! Speedball gets the tag; he tries to catch Dralistico with a flash pin. Moonsault into the knees by Bailey to Mortos! RUSH makes the save, only to get dropkicked out of the ring by Knight. Bailey counters a Mortos powerbomb, thrust kick. Knight in, over the top of Bailey with a dropkick to Mortos! Time Adventure from Bailey! Komander walks the ropes and wipes out RUSH and Dralistico! UFO FROM KNIGHT! THE PIN, THE WIN!
WINNER: Kevin Knight, Speedball Mike Bailey, and Komander
TIME: 14:30
THOUGHTS: Amazing, more please, and thank you!
RATING: ****1/4
MVP and the Syndicate are back! They got their ass kicked for like, two or three minutes, but they won the prize! Next week, they get to face Shelton, Bobby, and MJF. But the beautiful thing is that they get a preview of that ass beating tonight!
Shelton and Bobby hit the ring after jacket removal, but Knight and Bailey send them from the ring. MJF takes his coat off, but Komander takes care of him! The group is on the floor, but Bailey, Knight, and Komander take them out on the floor!
Well, damn, Tony Khan has already made this match official! It’s like he’s on top of his shit, or something!
Alicia Atout has Paragon and Daniel Garcia in the back. Cole asked for Garcia to be here, while they don’t always get along, they have respect for each other, and he wants to team up with Garcia and take out the Don Callis Family. Garcia says that he respects Cole and hates the DCF, he will see them out there.
COMMERCIALS!
The Patriarchy are here with Lexi Nair post break. Cage knows that the altitude cuts off their brains, but he expects them to sit down and shut up while he conducts business. Nick Wayne had a great showing in the BOTSJ, but he didn’t win it. He did wrestle 12 times in 25 days, but no excuses. Wayne will defend his ROH TV Title.
Wayne says that he did this to him before, and it was light work.
Cage says let him finish. Wayne will defend the title in a 4-way match. Instead of laying down with Mama Wayne, they might watch this match from ringside. They leave, and Nick looks a little concerned.
Max Caster is in the ring. COLORADO! You are watching the best wrestler alive! He has a petition to acknowledge that Max is, in fact, the best wrestler alive! He wants Stephon Smith to sign the petition! He knows that all the Maxamanics want to chant his name! Here we go!
LET’S GO MAX, YOU’RE THE BEST WRESTLER ALIVE! Tonight, the five-minute open challenge is back! Who can survive five with the best wrestler alive.
P-P-P-POWERHOUSE! Hobbs enters through the crowd, and I dunno guys, I don’t like Hobbs chances here!
Max Caster vs. AEW Trios Champion Powerhouse Hobbs
Hobbs with a shoulder block at the bell. A huge lariat in the corner, another one, and another, and another, and another, and another! MEAT chants! Caster pokes the eyes! Out of the corner, Hobbs stops that shit. Spine on the Pine, and Max is dead again.
WINNER: Powerhouse Hobbs
TIME: 48 seconds
THOUGHTS: This will never get old lol
RATING: N/R
The International Title 4-way is up next.
COMMERCIALS!
RED ALERT: BRISCOE INCOMING! I REPEAT, RED ALERT: BRISCOE INCOMING!
AEW International 4-Way Match: Kenny Omega (C) vs. Brody King vs. Claudio Castagnoli vs. Mascara Dorada
The bell rings, as Claudio attacks Kenny, so Brody goes after him. Everyone runs a train on Castagnoli, and Omega hits a SPEAR on Claudio. Omega and Dorada go after King now, but Brody runs through the double team clothesline. They reverse it with a low drop kick, sending King from the ring. Omega looks for a slingshot splash, but Claudio gets out of dodge. Omega and Dorada start trading, but Claudio is back and takes them both out. King is back; he takes both of them to the floor with the Cactus Jack clothesline. Dorada hits a suicide dive on Claudio! Omega tries, but he is caught and sent into the barricade by King. King and Claudio square off again, King sets up Claudio in the chair. He charges in, but Dorada tries to dive onto King. No go, though, and Dorada gets sat in the chair as well. DOUBLE SAMMICH! Omega with a snap dragon to King! The Terminator rises! Omega up and over with a senton to both King and Castagnoli!! PIP Break.
Yo, that was an epic run, I’mma sit this one out, guys!
We’re back, as Claudio has Kenny grounded in the middle of the ring. Omega to his feet, he lands some straight punches, but Claudio cuts that off. Omega, undeterred, hits the running DVD! Moonsault meets the knees of Claudio, as we are reminded of the diverticulitis that Kenny had. Were you aware? I wasn’t. Dorada and King in now. King sends Omega into the corner. KING PICKS UP DORADA AND HITS A DVD INTO THE CORNER ON KENNY! Claudio in, POP-UP EUROPEAN UPPERCUT ON KING! The cover, King kicks out at two. Omega back to his feet. V-Trigger to Claudio! He sits Castagnoli on the top rope and goes up. King is here to pull Omega off of him. King on the top now, Omega sneaks back in and has King on his shoulders! CLAUDIO FROM THE TOP WITH A DOOMSDAY UPPEPRCUT TO KING! The cover, Omega breaks it up. Dorada back, he sends Omega from the ring, but he is expelled by Claudio. Claudio goes up top, but King is there to meet him. Claudio with a front face slam to King. Dorada off the back of Brody, HURRINCANRANA TO CLAUDIO ON TOP OF KING! The cover, Omega breaks it up again. V-Trigger to Claudio! One-winged Angel attempt on Dorada, but he counters with a poison Rana! King wipes out Dorada, and he collides with Claudio. BIG LARIAT from King! The cover, Claudio out at two!
King and Claudio to their feet. forearms and uppercuts are traded. Dorada tries a crossbody, but both men catch him. Claudio throws Dorada into King, and he hits him with a hurrincanrana. Claudio wipes out Dorada with a lariat and puts King in the Giant Swing! he releases him, the cover, but Dorada with the save. Omega back in, another V-Trigger to King. Claudio with an uppercut to Omega, Dorada goes around the world and hits Claudio with a tiaras. Dorada up top, Hurrincanrana into a seated pin! The cover, Omega breaks it up. Dorada sends Claudio to the floor, up and over, he wipes out Claudio! Kenny tries to hit a clothesline, but he avoids him and takes out King! Back in the ring, Omega catches Dorada with the One-Winged Angel! The cover, Kenny retains!
WINNER: Kenny Omega (Still Champion)
TIME: 17:50
THOUGHTS: Surprised that this one ruled? You shouldn’t be, because this was a fantastic mix of amazing talent and it kicked all kind of ass. Shoutout to Dorada for his big showing.
RATING: ****1/2
We get an unofficial “show flip” to Collision. After that, the coin hits the floor, and Okada is here! Well, this is always exciting. They come face-to-face in the middle of the ring, and we get HOLY SHIT chants. They shove their titles in each other’s faces before coming to blows! Omega gets the upper hand, but a calculated shot to the gut from Okada. RAINMAKER, no, ONE-WINGED ANGEL, no! Okada escapes with his title in tow, and both men stare each other down!
My Thoughts: JUST MAKE THE DAMN UNIFICATION TITLE MATCH ALREADY, KHAN!!!
We get highlights from Collision, where FTR and The Stoke threw out the challenge for Fyter Fest. Templario and Atlantis Jr stepped up to the challenge, that will happen tonight!
Show some love for Ricochet! He will have his eye on everyone tonight, but he will not be competing in this crappy town. He will be scouting, watching, and evaluating talent that will answer to him, do what he wants, and gets him to gold. Ricochet is out of this world.
AH-HAAAAAAAAA!
BRUV TIME has arrived! We also see Nigel McGuiness is here with Tony now, as Excalibur, Ian, and Taz have taken their exit.
Will Ospreay vs. Lio Rush w/Action Andretti
Ospreay goes after Rush at the bell, but he escapes to the floor. Andretti whispers something to him, as the fans chant OSPREAY. Lio in the ring now, he rolls and grabs the foot of Will. Ospreay fights it off, counters ensue, and both men on their knees. Lio slaps him and runs away from Will into the ropes. Ospreay cuts off Rush with an attempt at the Styles Clash, but Rush gouges the eyes of Ospreay. Rush again escapes to the floor, Ospreay chases him into the ring. Andretti looks to attack Will, but it’s a ruse, allowing Rush to hit a suicide dive to Ospreay! PIP time.
PIP Collision
-Same old Stanley Cup commercial
-Same old Tennis commercial
-Sunglass Hut, using a riff that sounds like Another One Bites the Dust
-Cape? Jamie has a tummy cape lol.
-Papa Pairings, but no Shaq lol.
We’re back, as Rush has the dreaded chin lock on Will. Ospreay to his feet, Rush now with a sleeper hold, Will fights him off and hits a thrust kick. Kawada kicks from Will, chop to the throat, back elbow. Torture rack into a snap driver by Ospreay, the cover for a two count. Ospreay’s kick is cut off, Rush with offense, but Will cuts that off. Ospreay off the ropes, but Rush with a poisonrana counter! A cutter from Lio, cover for a two count. LIO SUCKS chants as he lands some punches to Will on the mat. Lio to the top, he lures Will in and hits a komingyre. Off the top, Cutter counter by will! OSCUTTER! Lio kicks out at two! Hidden Blade attempt, but Lio grabs the referee, while Action grabs the leg of Will. Lio charges, but Will sends him up and over onto Andretti. Ospreay with all of the gymnastics, he goes up and over to wipe out both men! Springboard forearm shot to follow! Stormbreaker countered into a DDT by Lio! Rush to the top, FROG SPLASH! The cover, Ospreay out at 2.5! Andretti tells Rush to hurry up as he hands Rush brass knuckles. The ref takes them away, allowing Will to hit the STYLES CLASH for the win!
WINNER: Will Ospreay
TIME: 9:00
THOUGHTS: Too bad this didn’t get more time, because it was awesome for the time that it got. Lio was no pushover, but Will isn’t the Billy Goat BRUV for nothing, BRUV!
RATING: ***1/2
Post-match, Andretti attacks Will from behind. Andretti picks up Ospreay, Rush with an assisted neck breaker from the torture rack. HANGMAN is here! He threatens both men, as Andretti foolishly tries to attack Page. Buckshot Lariat is loaded up, but Andretti escapes. Hangman and the ref help Will to his feet, and Will shares a fist bump with Hangman.
Hangman on the mic. If Will has his back, then he will have his back as well. But to be clear, he is his own man. He doesn’t need help to win the title, not from Ospreay, and not from “one of the worst men to ever walk this planet”. No, he doesn’t need help from the man who threatens the safety of his family for his glory. Last week, he made a promise and tonight, he will make another one. He does not need, nor will he ever except help, from Swerve Strickland. But he will ride into Texas, he will defeat Moxley, and he will take that briefcase and the title, he will raise it above his head for all of us. All-In Texas will be his night!
Moxley has slid into the ring behind Page. Claudio, Yuta, and Marina are also here at ring side. Ospreay is back, and he has two chairs. Claudio has his own chair, but Moxley calls off his team. I guess he doesn’t like four on one and a half men.
My thoughts: To help or not to help, they name is Swerve. This is really interesting, NGL.
Lexi Nair with the Don Callis Family. Callis says that he has accepted their challenge, and if you think they were easy on him last week, they haven’t seen anything yet. But he isn’t done, because Bandido has cost him dinero, so he wants him to bring those idiot Outrunners, and he will unleash the ProtoShita on them. He introduces the best Lucha wrestler in the world, Hechichero! Together, Fletcher, Takeshita, and him will kick some ass!
Sneaky good one incoming!
FTR W/The Stoke vs. Atlantis Jr. and Templario
Atlantis wants a handshake from Cash at the bell, but Wheeler is like, no. Wheeler overpowers him, and he blows kisses to the crowd. Cash wants to shake hands now, but Atlantis is like, no. Hammerlock from Cash, Atlantis escapes and runs the ropes, eventually hitting a tiaras. The cover for a two count. Wheeler to his corner, they take a moment. Harwood gets the tag, as does Templario. I like this guy; I think he has a great presentation and look. Uncle Dax doesn’t agree, as he turns a wrist lock into a shoulder tackle. Templario kips up, shocking Dax. Drop toehold by Templario and into a cover for a two count. Harwood mocks kissing the boot of Templario. he wants a handshake, but Templario tries to crush his hand. Harwood with overhand chops, but Templario won’t back down. Jumping knee lift for Harwood! One for Wheeler! Atlantis up and over, taking down Wheeler! He launches his teammate into FTR for a double team dropkick! The Luchadores slide out of the ring, but FTR were waiting for them. Back in the ring, Templario has Harwood up in the corner, Wheeler from behind, release German, but he lands on his feet! He runs into a powerbomb from Wheeler for a two count, though. PIP Break.
Hands are twisted, need a break lol
We’re back, as Harwood drops Templario with a big chop. Apparently, Khan has a HUGE announcement before the main event. if only I had a dime for every time I heard that.
Atlantis in the ring now, and both men send FTR crashing to the floor. Tope Suicidas from Atlantis and Templario! An official tag to Atlantis, waist lock by Atlantis, shotgun dropkick by Templario! The cover, Harwood out at two. Harwood tries to fight back, but a cutter from Atlantis cuts that off. Templario drops Atlantis on top of Harwood with a splash! The cover, kick out at two. Wheeler drags Atlantis to the floor, while Templario tries to roll up Harwood for a two count. Another roll-up for a two count on Dax. Cash with the blind tag, but Templario hits a crossbody on Dax! Eventually, he figures it out and rolls up Cash for a two count. FTR both in now, Templario up for the Shatter machine, but Atlantis back in with a kick to Harwood. Wheeler is down in the middle of the ring, Atlantis up top, but Harwood trips him up. Wheeler reverses the suplex from Templario, Harwood with the foot grab, and they steal it!
WINNER: FTR
TIME: 13:45
THOUGHTS: A fun mix of styles made for a fun match, to no one’s surprise. FTR wins, but damn, did Atlantis and Templario look amazing in the process. This union between CMLL and AEW has been stupendous.
RATING: ***3/4
Stoke on the mic post-match. He has something important to say. Wheeler chastises the fans. SHOCKER! SHOCKER! SHOCKER! FTR wins again! They are the winningest tag team in AEW history, if Stokely isn’t mistaken. It doesn’t matter what country you are from, what company you are, everyone falls to FTR.
Harwood says excuse me for a second, the greatest team of all-time is trying to speak!
Wheeler: HE IS TALKING!
Denver! You had your chance, now you don’t get to hear me talk! TOP GUYS…OUT!
COMMERCIALS!
Thekla video package greets us post-break. Apparently, that is still to come tonight.
New besties Hechichero and Takeshita are here, with Kyle Fletcher and Don Callis right behind them.
Kyle Fletcher, Konosuke Takeshita, and Hechichero vs. ROH Champion Bandido and Los Outrunners
Hechichero and Bandido will start us off, as Nigel and Don have jokes lol. FUCK DON CALLIS chants, as Hechichero wrestles Bandido down to the mat. Bandido tries an escape with an arm drag. Another lock-up, Bandido flips out of the Alchemist’s grasp and hits another arm drag. Fletcher grabs Bandido, allowing Hechichero to roll up Bandido and apply a double wrist lock. Double abdominal stretch by Takeshita and Fletcher on Magnum and Floyd, but they get out of it and free Bandido. Down on the floor, Bandido jumps into a powerbomb from Hechichero. He goes back in the ring and hits a tope suicida onto Los Outrunners. Tony calling Don a virus, lol. Hechichero tries to lock a cross-arm breaker on Floyd, but he gets to his feet and is driven to the DCF corner. PIP Break.
I’m sorry, you would think that they could come up with some different commercials, right? I’m just repeating everything at this point, honestly.
We’re back, as Senor Magnum is trying to tag in El Turbo Floyd. He gets the tag and cleans house of the DCF. Scoop slams for everyone! Hechichero back up, but El Turbo overpowers him, walks the ropes, and hits a double axe handle smash! BANDIDO chants as he gets the tag. He tries to jump over Hechichero, but he picks the ankle. Roll-ups galore ensure, all to the tune of a two count. Shotgun dropkick from Hechichero resets the match. Takeshita with the tag, he takes the Outrunners off the apron. Bandido has Takeshita up, but Konosuke gets out and hits the Blue Thunder Bomb for a two count. Fletcher in now, and the entire DCF runs the train on Bandido. Los Outrunners are back, and they hit a double team suplex on Fletcher. Bandido to the top, Frog Splash connects! The cover, but the save is made. Everyone fights to the floor, leaving Bandido and Fletcher. 21-Plex is avoided, counters ensue, but Fletcher drops Bandido with a big knee! Knee strike by Hechichero, double pump kick by ProtoShita! The cover, Bandido kicks out at two. Thrust kick stops Fletcher in his tracks, and we get a tag. YOU SON OF A BITCH, but ProtoShita break it up with double Germans. Brainbuster from Kyle and a Falcon Arrow from Konosuke seals the win.
WINNER: The Don Callis Family w/Hechichero
TIME: 14:15
THOUGHTS: Another fun match, Takeshita and Fletcher just work so well together, and Hechichero in AEW is ALWAYS welcome.
RATING: ***3/4
Penelope Ford and Megan Bayne have Anna Jay in distress. They bring her out onto the stage. Bayne has Jay up, Ford tells her to drop her off the stage, but Tay Melo has returned! She wants at Bayne, but Security actually does their job this time. Boo lol!
COMMERCIALS!
Lexi has Anthony Bowens and Billy Gunn. June is officially the Pride of Professional Wrestling month. He also challenges Kyle Fletcher for a match in Portland next week. He has five tools and one rule: Prove them wrong! Well, that’s a choice.
Ricochet is here, so we can show him some love. And he’s wearing the Eagles hat! YES! Love from me, confirmed! Looks like he will be joining commentary for this match, as he shakes hands with Nigel.
ROH TV Title Match: Nick Wayne w/Christian Cage and Mama Wayne (C) vs. Sammy Guevara vs. AR Fox vs. Lee Johnson w/Blake Christian
Not going to lie, this has very sneaky potential to be really good.
The bell rings, as Johnson and Wayne try to launch an attack, only to end up on the floor. Sammy tries a cutter on Fox, but he handstands instead. Dropkick misses, and they both kip up! Fox and Wayne in the ring now, as both men have history. Johnson pulls Wayne out of the ring, only to have Johnson eat the senton splash from Fox on the floor. Guevara does his jumping spot and hits a back elbow to Wayne. Fox in, but Sammy cuts him off with a jumping knee. Sammy clears the top rope and takes out Johnson on one side and Wayne on the other side. Sammy catches out Fox with the cutter this time for a two count. Blake slows down Sammy long enough for Lee to push him to the floor. He follows up with a front flip senton. Fox with one onto Johnson! Blake hits a front flip senton off the steps and onto Fox! No rules in a 4-way match! PIP Break.
PIP after dark!
-We turned Sheldon’s room into a sex dungeon! OW!
-AT&T commercial…such a weird set up lol.
-GOLD BEARS TASTE TOO GOOD!
-Voltaren is better than pills, fact.
-Saying I love you to your boss is lessened with goldfish!
-Sunglass hut, again.
-NASCAR has to step it up with F-1 taking all the racing headlines.
-LOVE THAT CHICKEN FROM POPEYE’S!
-Genesis, don’t see too many of their ads.
-The Librarians? Have they added Leva and Peter yet? No. Well, no watch lol.
Wayne wipes out Guevara in the ring as we’re back from break. Wayne charges, but Sammy moves. Sammy rolls into the ring, backslide counter by Nick for a two count. Sammy looking GTH, he hits it! New Champion, except for the fact that Lee broke the pin up. Johnson with a roll through DVD into a kick and a standing moonsault. The cover, kick out at two. Fox sneaks in with a step-up dropkick on Wayne. Fox does the matrix move, allowing Wayne to hit a dragon suplex on Johnson. History explodes, as Fox and Wayne trade forearms. Thesz Press by Fox! Twisting suplex by Fox! Fox sets Johnson in the corner, AROUND THE CORNER AND HE HITS A SHORT BOMB BETWEEN THE ROPES. HOLY SHIT. SWAN DIVE TO THE FLOOR BY FOX! HOLY SHIT CHANTS! Fox with a Swanton Bomb to Wayne, but he gets the knees up. Wayne Driver retains the belt for Young Nick.
WINNER: Nick Wayne (Still Champion)
TIME: 11:05
THOUGHTS: Obviously, Fox was the real standout here, but everyone got a lot of shine in this one. Even Johnson looked good in there. These matches have not been missing tonight.
RATING: ****
Tony and Nigel run down official matches for next week’s Summer Blockbuster in Portland. As a reminder, this is going to be ANOTHER four-hour special next Wednesday.
The Toxic Spider is officially here!
Thekla vs. Lady Frost
Holy Crap, I actually called this earlier! I’m giving myself a Barry Horowitz pat on the back!
The bell rings, as Thekla takes Frost to the corner. She rolls her through and hits a kick to the head. Submission start ends with Thekla trying to rip the face off of Frost. Thekla argues with the ref, and Frost gets some offense going, but that ends quickly, and Thekla hits a drive by knee and a drive by kick on the apron. Frost fights back to her feet with forearms, but she is dropped with one forearm. Thekla does the spider! She turns around and hits the SPEAR! The Death Trap is applied, and Frost submits!
WINNER: Thekla
TIME: 2:30
THOUGHTS: Not a full-on squash, but close enough. I’m waiting for Thekla and Hayter to become a thing.
RATING: N/R
Thekla puts on the cross face post-match, but Queen Aminata is here to save Frost. Thekla escapes the ring, taunting her.
The ZOMG BIG ANNOUNCEMENT IS NEXT!
COMMERCIALS!
Queen Aminata is here post-break. She gets it, anytime someone new comes here, they try and make a name for themselves. This is where the best wrestle. But she is the one and only African Queen, and they stomp on spiders like you. Google it! Next week, she wants Thekla, and they will see who steps on who.
We see the Okada-Omega encounter post-Omega retaining his title. I wonder what this news could be. Schiavone is giving us the big news. Khan has signed, for All-In…
KAZUCHIKA OKADA AND KENNY OMEGA, WINNER TAKES ALL TITLES!
Well, we knew this was being mentioned in circles, but it is nice to have it officially announced.
It’s time for the Fyter Fest Collision main event!
RPG Vice, Lance Archer, and Josh Alexander w/Don Callis vs. Paragon and Daniel Garcia
Strong and Romero to start this match. Strong works the arm of Rocky, and Cole gets the tag. Baretta in the match because sure, why not, as he hammers Cole with forearms and mocks his pose. Cole cuts him off with a kick and a neck breaker for a two count. O’Reilly in now, but Baretta with a knee to stop him. Alexander tags in, and suddenly, I want this as a single match. Alexander runs over KOR, but Kyle with a kitchen sink counter. Garcia in, he drops everyone from the DCF corner. He mounts Alexander, Archer in, but he moves, and Garcia punches both of them. Rocky tries and finds the same fate. Archer pushes the pile as we go to PIP Break.
Main beyond Main event PIP
-Librarians? I’mma say it again, no Bates or no Avalon, shove it!
-Blue Buffalo, the best for pets!
-Tropical Smoothy Cafe and Lilo and Stich!
-Brawny ad, that’s wild lol.
-Aw, the Bears are so happy that Goldilocks is leaving lol.
-Choice Hotel guy is a real nerd.
-At Walgreens, you can stand under the vent to cool off!
-HAVE YOU HEARD OF DICKS.COM?? AND IF SO, WHY NOT?
-Coke Zero isn’t really Coke.
-Advil Liquid Gels: the killer of livers everywhere!
And we’re back, as Garcia tries to fight out of the DCF corner. He avoids an Alexander scoop slam and tags in KOR. Paragon all in now. Down goes Archer, down go Rocky and Josh. Running knee from KOR to Archer off the apron! Superkick blocked by Josh, but not the rebound enziguri! Backstabber by Cole for a two count. Romero on the apron, but he eats a SUPERKICK from Cole. Garcia with a running knee to Romero. RPG Vice is stacked up for an O’Reilly shotgun dropkick! ARCHER FLATTENS ALL OF PARAGON! EVERYONE DIES, INDEED! In the ring, Alexander with a German suplex on Cole for a two count. He avoids a foll-up move, he fakes the SUPERKICK and goes low. Panama Sunrise by Cole! Garcia gets the tag, but Archer in now to make more people die. TOTAL ELIMINATION from Paragon on Archer. Cole and Baretta are left, and they get the tag. Cole is cut off with a rolling elbow, but Cole with a pump kick. Baretta out the back door, he hits a half-and-half suplex. Baretta thinking something, but Cole with another SUPERKICK! Romero gets the tag, Storm Zero is blocked. Romero with the springboard into a SUPERKICK from Cole. Cole lowers the BOOM on Romero for the win!
WINNER: Paragon and Daniel Garcia
TIME: 11:15
THOUGHTS: Very good main event. The Garcia-Cole rivalry will continue, but they remain strange bedfellows in the meantime.
RATING: ***1/2
ProtoShita come out post-match to stare down the winners. And with that, we’re done!
