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Csonka’s WWE TLC 2017 Review
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Csonka’s WWE TLC 2017 Review
OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Kickoff Match: Sasha Banks defeated Alicia Fox @ 10:16 via submission [**]
– Asuka defeated Emma @ 9:23 via submission [**½]
– Cedric Alexander and Rich Swann defeated Jack Gallagher and Brian Kendrick @ 8:00 via pin [***]
– WWE RAW Women’s Title Match: Champion Alexa Bliss defeated Mickie James @ 11:27 via pin [***]
– WWE Cruiserweight Title Match: Enzo Amore defeated Champion Kalisto @ 9:00 via pin [*½]
– Finn Balor defeated AJ Styles @ 18:20 via pin [****]
– Jason Jordan defeated Elias @ 8:50 via pin [**½]
– TLC Match: Kurt Angle, Seth Rollins, & Dean Ambrose defeated The Miz, Sheamus, Cesaro, Braun Strowman, and Kane @ 35:30 via pin [***½]
– Follow all of my reviews at this link.
– Elias will perform on the PPV tonight, he mocked Jason Jordan for not being on the PPV, which may lead to something tonight between “daddy Kurt & son Jason.”
– Those bastards cut Drew Gulak’s time.
Sasha Banks vs. Alicia Fox: They go crazy brawling to begin, Fox bails to the floor for a powder. Back in and Fox attacks, they brawl in the corner until Fox cuts off Banks and grounds the action. Banks quickly battles back, lays in some ground and pound until Banks starts to toss her around. Fox wants a handshake, but eats a dropkick and rolls to the floor. Post break, Fox is in control; Banks up top and Fox tosses her to the floor. Fox follows with a back breaker, and then rolls her back in. They trade strikes, and Fox tosses her to the floor again. We get a countout tease, but Banks makes it back in. Fox hits the northern lights suplex for 2. She hits another, and that also gets 2. Fox again grounds things, but Banks makes a comeback, and counters a back breaker for 2. Banks kicks Fox to the floor. Back in and Banks hits a head scissors, knee strike and then runs into a high kick, with Fox covering for 2. Fox throws a fit, misses the axe kick and Banks locks in the Banks statement and Fox taps. Sasha Banks defeated Alicia Fox @ 10:16 via submission [**] This was a fine kick off match, there was nothing really special about it, but it was far from bad and they worked hard.
Asuka vs. Emma: Emma plays keep away to begin, and then talks shit. Asuka looks for a knee bar but Emma makes the ropes. She mistakenly slaps Asuka, and looks to work the arm. Asuka picks up the pace, attacks the arm but Emma escapes. Emma slaps Asuka again, Asuka smiles and hits an ass attack. Asuka looks for an ankle lock, but Emma escapes and dropkicks her to the floor. Emma rolls her back in, slamming Asuka down and stomping on her. Emma grounds the action, taking the heat. Asuka escapes with leg kicks, but Emma slams her down again. Emma works her over in the corner, hits the running splash and covers for 2. Asuka is selling way too much here. She slowly tries to fight back, Emma slaps her and Asuka fires up and hits a sliding kick. The missile dropkick follows, and she then lays in repeated kicks. Emma fights back, hitting a sliding dropkick and covering for 2. Emma takes control back, grinding Asuka’s face into the mat. Asuka locks in an ankle lock, and then hits a trapped German suplex. Emma rolls to the floor, Asuka follows but Emma slams her to the floor. Back in and Asuka hits a head kick, and the Asuka lock and Emma taps. Asuka defeated Emma @ 9:23 via submission [**½] This is the same bullshit, 50-50 match they booked for Ziggler & Nakamura, completely undermining the hype of Asuka. It actually wasn’t 50-450 as Asuka of all people worked from the bottom against Emma. It went way too long, Asuka sold way too much and commentary was absolutely no help. Cole’s commentary was such shit here, “Asuka is all about having fun and entertaining,” while Graves tries to put over her viciousness and dominant streak. This is not how you present a dominant star; this is how you present “just another member of the roster.” The work was perfectly fine, but it was also a perfect example of putting on the wrong match for what it should have been, which was making Asuka look special. It didn’t have to be a squash, but the goal was to make Asuka look special, and they completely failed at doing that. WWE needs to be making stars, to make people feel special and they had that chance here but stayed inside their safety blanket in terms of booking. The main takeaway I’ve read about the match was that “Emma looked good and more competitive than I would have expected,” which means they aren’t talking about Asuka.
– Miz talks with his team about tonight’s main event. They all rundown Angle for putting himself into the match. Braun says to save the pep talk, because he plans to take out his opponents, as long as they stay out of his way. Kane says he will do what he pleases. Miz promises enough carnage for all.
– Elias arrives to sing us a song. Someone starts throwing vegetables into the ring, and we see it’s Jason Jordan. Jordan leaves and the segment ends without a proper song. Jason Jordan is a dick. This was 100% Vince McMahon there, who thought it was hilarious.
Jack Gallagher and Brian Kendrick vs. Cedric Alexander and Rich Swann: Gallagher has new evil man music. Swann and Kendrick into begin. Kendrick cuts him off almost immediately, and tags in Gallagher, who quickly grounds Swann. Swann picks up the pace, hits a dropkick and Alexander cleans house, sending the heels to the floor. Gallagher trips him up, but Swann cannonballs onto Gallagher on the floor. Alexander follows with a big dive, and then rolls Kendrick back in. Swann & Alexander take control, working double teams on Kendrick and picking up a near fall. Gallagher distracts Swann, allowing Kendrick to tag out to Gallagher. Gallagher beats on Swann, and works quick tags with Kendrick, as they maintain the heat on Swann. Swann manages to toss Kendrick to the floor, fights off Gallagher and Alexander gets the hot tag. Alexander runs wild on Gallagher, hits an enziguri and then the springboard clothesline, but Kendrick makes the save. Swann tries to help but Kendrick takes him out. Back in and Kendrick hits a superkick and captain’s hook on Alexander. Swann in and hits a Phoenix splash to break it up. Swann and Gallagher take each other out, and Alexander hits the lumbar check on Kendrick for the win. Cedric Alexander and Rich Swann defeated Jack Gallagher and Brian Kendrick @ 8:00 via pin [***] this was a good and fun back and forth match, very enjoyable. It was pretty much all action and the best thing on the show so far.
WWE RAW Women’s Title Match: Champion Alexa Bliss vs. Mickie James: they lockup and James takes Bliss down and starts going for covers, but Bliss kicks out. Bliss runs to the ropes and James slaps her in the ass. Bliss is pissed, hits a back elbow and slams James to the mat repeatedly, but James keeps kipping up and slams Bliss down. James follows with a running kick, covering for 2. Bliss sends James to the apron and starts to work the arm. Bliss looks very happy as she works over James and talks shit. Bliss maintains the heat, laying in kicks and continues her assault on the arm. James keeps fighting, but Bliss maintains control of the arm, covering for 2. Bliss lays the boots to her, focusing on the arm. James starts to fire back with kicks, hits the corner head scissors and they trade slaps and go crazy fists. They both land kicks and we get a double down. They trade strikes from their knees, James fires up with forearms and clotheslines. James follows with kicks, and covers for 2. James looks for a DDT, but ends up in a roll up for 2.Bliss cuts her off and hits code red for a good near fall. James hits the flapjack, heads up top and Bliss cuts her off and James falls onto the bad shoulder. Bliss up top and twisted bliss misses! James back up top, hits a missile dropkick and that gets 2. Bliss runs into a kick, and James covers for 2 as the crowd chants for tables. Bliss begs off, but then slams James to the buckles and hits the DDT to retain. Champion Alexa Bliss defeated Mickie James @ 11:27 via pin [***] I thought that they worked a good and smart back and forth match, with Bliss picking up a hard fought and clean win. James put up a good fight, but just didn’t have enough to take the title tonight.
– James is interviewed post match, and says she worked hard and was proud of her performance. She hopes to get another shot and thanks the fans.
– Ambrose & Rollins meet with Angle, and he knows that they wanted to do this themselves, but he will give them whatever he has left tonight. They give Angle a Shield vest and say he’s in all the way tonight.
– Elias is back. The crowd keeps interrupting him, so he keeps starting over. Jason Jordan arrives and throws more vegetables at him. What a dick.
– Enzo’s voice sounds shot as he does his usual shtick, but says that his voice is the only thing he’s losing tonight.
– We kill some time and meet the international announce teams.
WWE Cruiserweight Title Match: Champion Kalisto vs. Enzo Amore: Enzo runs to the ropes at the bell, looking for safety. They lock up with Enzo attacking the mask and hitting a back elbow. Enzo does his dance and Kalisto chases him to the floor. Back in and Kalisto works leg kicks, and then sends Enzo to the floor with an Enziguri. Kalisto follows with a suicide dive, and back in Enzo runs again and heads to the apron. Kalisto looks to attack, but Enzo trips him up onto the buckles. Enzo lays the boots to him, hits a side slam and covers for 2. Enzo now follows with ground and pound, and then looks confused as he tries to work the arm. Kalisto fights back, hitting a rolling kick. Enzo cuts off a Kalisto charge with a stomp and cover for 2. Enzo now grounds the action with a side headlock. Kalisto tried to fight to his feet and does, slamming Enzo to the corner. Kalisto to the apron, hits an enziguri and follows with a seated senton and spiked RANA. The cover gets 2 as Enzo makes the ropes. Enzo slams Kalisto to the buckles, countering salida del sol, and hits the DDG for a near fall. Kalisto fights off the soul food, Enzo looks to run but grabs the ring skirt. This leads to an eye poke and Enzo hits soul food for the win. Enzo Amore defeated Champion Kalisto @ 9:00 via pin [*½] This was a really flat match with next to no heat and Enzo winning the title back as most predicted. The quick title changes have happened too much to make me care about them in any way.
– Enzo gets the post match promo, thanking himself for the win and leaves.
Finn Balor vs. AJ Styles: The crowd is into this big time even before the bell rang. We even get “too sweet” chants. They lock up, working a slow and more methodical beginning than you may expect. But if they are going long it makes sense. They pick up the pace, working back and forth until Balor follows up with strikes. Into the international and Styles hits the dropkick, Balor battles back and hits an enziguri and takes Styles down, working a Romero special. Styles escapes, and Balor keeps him grounded, working the legs. Styles hits a back elbow, and follows with a suplex. The knee drop follows, and Styles covers for 2. They have a great crowd here, Styles hits a slingshot forearm strike and covers for 2. Balor tries to fight back, but Styles cuts him off with a side back breaker. Styles maintains control, working over Balor in the corner but Balor fires up and lays in strikes. Balor follows with chops, but Styles answers back. Balor lays in rapid-fire strikes, more chops and as Styles heads up top, Balor hits an enziguri, sending him to the floor. Balor then follows with a sweet tope. Back in and Balor hits sling blade, but Styles hits the ushigoroshi and we get a double down. Balor fights off the Styles clash, but Styles hits a wheelbarrow face plant for 2. Balor cuts off Styles, lays the boots to him and then hits a running dropkick in the corner. Styles manages to roll into the calf crusher, but Balor slams Styles’ head to the mat and manages to escape. Styles looks for the springboard forearm, but Balor stops that by shoving him to the floor. Balor hits the apron PK, and follows with a shotgun dropkick, sending Styles to the barricade. Balor looks to picks Styles up instead of taking a countout, and Styles tackles him over the announce table. They beat the count and back in, and then collide for the double down. They get back to their feet and trade strikes center ring, Balor hits the PELE and both men are down. Balor gets to his feet first, they battle for position into a series of counters and Balor hits 1916 for a near fall. Balor hits the shotgun dropkick to the corner, heads up top but eats a PELE! Styles then hits a springboard RANA and that gets a great near fall. Styles now misses the springboard 450, Balor kills him with a lariat and shotgun dropkick. Balor up top, the double stomp hits and Balor wins! Finn Balor defeated AJ Styles @ 18:20 via pin [****] These two had a great match, which is a credit to their skills as this was last minute, and Styles had to do a lot of travel to get to TLC. They had a great crowd, they played to them, doing their trademark stuff and have us a clean and satisfying ending for their first match. Now imagine how good this will be when they get a proper feud (not complaining here, WWE was in a bad spot), some TV time and also time to work together on the road and these two will absolutely kill it down the line.
– Post match, they shake hands and share a too sweet. #GoodBrothers
Elias vs. Jason Jordan: They lock up and Jordan overpowers Elias to begin, using amateur throws. Elias gets pissed, gets slammed down again and bails to the floor. Back in and Elias takes control, grounding Jordan and working the arm. Booker is back to shitting on Jordan on commentary. Jordan catches Elias with a running slam, and then dropkicks him to the apron, pulls him back in and covers for 3. Elias cuts off the suplex, knees Jordan to the buckles and then beats him down in the corner. Elias slams him off of the apron as he continues his control. back in and Elias covers for 2. Clotheslines follow, and Elias covers again for 2. Elias slows things, working an abdominal stretch. Jordan escapes, fires back and slams Elias to the buckles repeatedly to no reaction. Jordan follows with a belly-to-belly, and corner spear. The Saito suplex follows for 2. Jordan takes Elias up top, Elias fights him off and hits a knee strike, and slams him into the buckles and Jordan sells the knee injury now. Jordan counters a suplex into a roll up for the win but Elias was kicking out at 3. Jason Jordan defeated Elias @ 8:50 via pin [**½] They were put in the death spot, no one cared, but they worked hard and had a perfectly average professional wrestling match.
TLC Match: Kurt Angle, Seth Rollins, & Dean Ambrose vs. The Miz, Sheamus, Cesaro, Braun Strowman, and Kane: Angle does the Shield entrance with Rollins & Ambrose, not only is Angle getting to wrestle cool, but I dig the unified entrance. The Shield runs wild at the bell, taking out Braun and Kane with chair shots. Rollins and Ambrose follow with dives and then the Shield attack with ladders on the floor. Angle then attacks Braun with ladder shots, Ambrose and Rollins work over Kane as the Shield runs wild. Angle joins in with ladder shots to Kane, and now they dismantle the announce table. Sheamus and Cesaro return to cut them off, but the Shield will have none of that. They go back after Kane, lay him on the table and Braun makes the save. Rollins saves Angle as he and Ambrose work over Braun with chair shots. They post Braun a few times, and lay him on an announce table. Kane is also still on a table and the Shield set up ladders. Ambrose and Rollins climb and put the monsters through the tables! Rollins is favoring his knee after that, and Angle now beats on Miz with a chair and rolls him back in but Cesaro and Sheamus cut him off. They start to beat down Angle, and then bring in a ladder and kick it into the ribs of Angle. Miz and friends tease the Shield bomb, but Ambrose and Rollins make the save. Angle starts to hit Germans on Miz, Germans for Sheamus & Cesaro! Oh shit, Kane is back and heads back into the ring. Angle fight off the chokeslam and locks in the ankle lock but Braun makes the save and slams Angle to the barricade. Braun sets up a table, and powerslams Angle through it! Trainers are out to check on Angle, as the others continue to brawl. Team Miz works over Rollins & Ambrose with chair shots. Back in the ring and it’s all Team Miz as Angle is helped to the back. Team Miz continues to work over the remaining Shield and also take come time to celebrate. Cesaro lays in chair shots, and it looks bad for our babyfaces. Rollins and Ambrose dig deep and fire up, Kane accidentally hit Braun with a chair; he knows he fucked up. Braun is pissed as Miz tries to keep the peace. They make nice for now, beating down Ambrose and Rollins again. They set up a table, and the Bar hit a double crucifix bomb but I AM THE TABLE doesn’t break. Braun then tosses Ambrose through the table as they set it up in the corner. They drag Rollins to the stage as a garbage truck arrives. They have Ambrose as well and look to toss them into the truck. They toss them in, but Rollins & Ambrose fight out and dive off onto the pile to wipe out Kane, Braun & The Bar. Miz tries to run, but Ambrose & Rollins chase him down and attack. They take Miz to the stage and set up tables. Kane makes the save, but he gets double teamed and then Braun makes the save. Kane then attacks Braun, and chokeslams him off the stage and through a platform next to the announce table. Kane has no time for your shit. Braun is still alive, so Kane yanks down the string of hanging chairs and buries Braun with them. Kane now grabs Ambrose, but he and Rollins attack and try to fight him off. The Miz fails to make the save and gets beat down until Kane chokeslams Rollins & Ambrose through tables. Sheamus & Cesaro are alive, and drag Rollins & Ambrose over to the garbage truck, but BRAUN is still alive. This puzzles Kane. Braun takes out Miz, Sheamus, & Cesaro and attacks Kane. Braun kicks the shit out of his team until Team Miz gang attacks him and they toss him into the garbage truck and “it compacts and crushes him” And drives away. How many murders on WWE programming this year does that make? And people say Lucha Underground killed a lot of people. Back to the ring as Miz, Kane, and the Bar look to finish things off. they run through rapid fire moves on Rollins, but Ambrose makes the save. he gets cut off but Kurt Angle’s music hits and our Olympic hero has arrived to make the save. SUPLEXES and ANGLE SLAMS on the floor. Cesaro gets put through a table, and her takes out Miz, Kane cuts him off, but Ambrose saves Angle and they beat down Kane. Rollins and Ambrose spear Kane through the barricade, Miz comes back in and hits a skull-crushing finale but Angle kicks out. Miz throws a fit. Angle then locks in the ankle lock on Miz, and Miz escapes, kicking Angle to the floor. Angle, Rollins & Ambrose surround Miz, knee strike, dirty deeds and Angle slam all hit on Miz. The Shield bomb follows and Miz is done.Kurt Angle, Seth Rollins, & Dean Ambrose defeated The Miz, Sheamus, Cesaro, Braun Strowman, and Kane @ 35:30 via pin [***½] This feels like one of those matches that I will need to watch a few times before I can come to a solid conclusion as to what I thought. Seeing Angle back was a ton of fun and the first 10-minutes of the match were awesome, but then it drastically slowed and became predictable in a bad way. Kane got in way too much and it felt like he was presented as the star. Angle got taken out, we got the “trainers to the back spot,” Kane and Braun turned on each other, Rollins & Ambrose survived the onslaught that went way too long, we got spear through the barricade spot, and Angle finally made the save for the feel good moment. They filled the spots on the TLC bingo card. That doesn’t make it bad, because it was fun and chaotic, but it felt as if it needed to be edited as the final third was really, really lethargic. I am sure some loved this more than I did.
– End scene.
– Thanks for reading.
~GLORIOUS~
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