wrestling / Video Reviews

Down With The Brown: The 7th Best RAW Ever (09.22.97)

October 26, 2004 | Posted by Sydney Brown

Okay, here are the long-awaited details of my wrestling sale. If you don’t care, skip ahead to the dotted line.

As many of you picked up on in my last column, I’m gradually selling off a good deal of my wrestling tapes and such. The reason is simple. I am a filmmaker. For the past five years, I have made many short films and music videos for local bands and certain local agencies in my area and while that has been rewarding, I want to do more. As many of you know I work at a television station and as such I have access to a lot of video equipment, and I have friends who also have digital cameras, but I want my own, and the fact is, I’m willing to get rid of many of my belongings to get one. My wrestling tapes are just a small portion of it.

I put up one of those little cheap-o free websites on AOL because A) I am poor and B) I am not a web designer in the slightest. On it you’ll find the first set of tapes I am getting rid of. Please don’t get too excited because I don’t have many tapes on it yet. I’m getting rid of some now, dubbing others to DVD and selling them off later.

You can see what’s available at http://hometown.aol.com/sydneyeight/sale.html

As time goes by, I will add more to the list, and I will give you all notice when I do. Most everything I have reviewed will be on the for sale list at some time. If you don’t initially see it, feel free to ask me.

I will also be selling off old PWIs and Apter mags, PWI Weeklies, and my long forgotten comic book collection. I haven’t posted most of them, but if you have interests I have mostly comics from the Who’s Who, Crisis, and Legends D C days.

For those interested, here are the ground rules:

1) I have opened a PayPal account and would much prefer that method of payment over check or money order. If you are uneasy doing it that way, I will accept the latter. But please understand I will not send until the checks have cleared.

2) All prices include shipping. I am not one of those people who is gonna screw you and chargeyou $5 to send a tape and then send it media rate.

3) And to be honest, all tapes will be shipped media rate unless you request otherwise. Priority is $2 extra per tape.

4) All quality on non-masters are good quality at worst. I won’t watch a tape that looks like absolute crap. I won’t sell them to you either. Tapes I have reviewed in the past such as the Juice-O-Rama and The Bobby Heenan Show fit into that category. They aren’t in good quality and thusly are not and will not be offered.

5) No matter when I receive payment, all shipments will be sent on Mondays and/or Fridays. If I receive payment on Tuesday, it will go out on Friday. If I receive payment Friday, it will most likely go out Monday.

There you go. My PayPal account is [email protected]. By all means, even if you don’t want to buy anything and just want to help a budding young man come closer to his goal, feel free to make a small charitable donation to the cause. I’m not asking, I’m only suggesting.

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Okay, that’s out of the way. A couple quickie notes:

Garden State is currently, and may remain the Best Film of 2004. I don’t expect total agreement, but I don’t care. The film affected me in a way few films have in a long time.

I’m really disappointed that Team America wasn’t a bigger hit than it was. It’s certainly the funniest film I’ve seen since There’s Something About Mary. And much like Mary, I went into it cold, before anyone could ruin it for me.

Almost two years ago, I not only dared to name The Best RAW Ever, but I also dared to name the 10 Best RAWs ever. We’re taking a look back at #7 on the list, and afterwards, I don’t know, maybe I’ll rank it higher. (And yeah, that list is in the archives, and after seeing the past two years of shows, I have no need to update the list.)

Seeing as a recent RAW took place at MSG, it only seems fit to revisit the first RAW MSG visit that featured many major high points as well as the unofficial start of the Austin-McMahon war.

Let’s set this one up. It’s September 1997, and the WWF is continuing to get trampled by WCW despite having one of the great booking stretches in history. The WWF storylines from Januarythrough August was some of its strongest with the Bret Hart-Steve Austin war and the reformation of the Hart Foundation. But things took a nasty turn as the WWF’s #1 draw, Steve Austin suffered near paralysis after a botched piledriver by Owen Hart at SummerSlam 1997. And the WWF storylines screeched to a halt.

August and September were decent but not strong months. The Bret Hart-Steve Austin feud had ended and now Bret Hart found himself feuding with the just-brought in Patriot. And despite being World Champion, he got pushed to the sidelines for the Shawn Michaels-Undertaker feud, a decent yet unspectacular feud whose main highlight was the ***** inaugural Hell in the Cell match.

But the main draw was Steve Austin. And it’s a tribute to his character that despite being clearly unable to wrestle for an extended period of time, Austin’s popularity grew as his new role was serving as run-in guy as he would interrupt matches, stun people at random, faces AND heels, and then leave. That “not giving a crap” attitude was a brilliant solution to what could have been a HUGE problem.

Fans were noticing that the guys Austin were stunning were getting bigger and bigger in name value. And with RAW coming to MSG, who might Austin have a special stunner for?

September 22, 1997

We get a montage featuring some of the great MSG moments featuring Hogan winning the title, Backlund winning the title, Piper destroying an award over Lou Albano’s head, Sheik shocking Backlund for the title, Snuka’s cage leap on Muraco, WrestleMania, Savage and Elizabeth’s “wedding,” the ladder match at WMX, Bret Hart’s Survivor Series return, and the Patterson-Slaughter Alley Match. Damn, if they only had footage of Koloff beating Bruno…….Remarkably thorough sum-up of the WWF MSG days.

And with an intro like that, well, damn, you better deliver something.

Your hosts are JR, Lawler, and Vince McMahon.

Match #1

Rocky Maivia vs. Ahmed Johnson

And the response to Rocky is damn near insane, considering he had just turned heel, and hadn’t even come close to being the charismatic star of a year later. If you get a chance, listen to his early heel promos as his mouth is bobbling all over the place. His opponent is Ahmed Johnson, aman who’s injury rate makes a guy like Edge look downright healthy. (Speaking of Edge, does anybody else realize that it’s not Randy Orton getting The Rock treatment, but Edge? Good Guy Edge gets shoved everybody’s throat, the fans turn on him, and the big time face gets turned heel. Which is good, because Edge needs desperately to reunite with Christian.)

Ahmed was nearing the end of the line as his injury to Owen Hart a few months later would make him permanent jobber boy. Apparently this is Ahmed’s return to the WWF after, what a shock, an injury. Ahmed had about a three day heel turn that was aborted due to his injury, giving Rocky the heel slot. And the rest is history. Right in the middle of this, Capt. Lou Albano waddles down to ringside for no reason and to almost no reaction. Rocky tosses Ahmed who hits his hand on the announce table, which may be Kevin Nash-like speed at re-injury. A close-up look shows his palm is bleeding, so his hand got ripped on something. Pretty nothing match which Ahmed wins after about six minutes with the Pearl River Plunge.

Steve Austin is out in the crowd and he promises to cause havoc. Well, I’d hope so.

Legendary boxer Floyd Patterson is in attendance.

We get a recap of the One Night Only PPV in England which apparently served only to humiliate Davey Boy Smith in England by losing the European title to HBK, a title HBK was so honored to win that he gave it to HHH. In fact, I think the European title may have been given to more people than any other title. HHH was given it, Mark Henry, Mideon, and I think one of the Godfather’s hoes had a reign too………

I am so kidding. Don’t write to correct me.

Undertaker Interview

Whew, for a moment I was afraid he might wrestle. The interview is to promote the inaugural Hell in the Cell, one of the groundbreaking matches in wrestling history. Groundbreaking because it redefined cage matches, and groundbreaking because no gimmick has been beaten to death faster than the HITC. (Well, maybe the ladder match.)

HBK comes out to interrupt UT. Do you realize that since 1996, Shawn Michaels has only been a heel for a total of about a year? Which is amazing because the guy is so damn good at it. His 97 heel run I think was seriously underrated. He kinda reminds me of watching Letterman when he’s grumpy, because he’s so much more entertaining. (Which is why I haven’t watched Dave in years. Those of you who remember the NBC days know what I’m talking about.) And it was no secret that Michaels was one angry mofo during this period. Nothing much of note happens here either.

Damn Sydney, you must be saying. This is #7? I’d hate to see #8. Calm down, it’s about to pick up.

And here comes Sunny. I’m only going to remember the good days. I’m only going to remember her as a hottie. Only as a hottie.

Match #2

The Legion of Doom vs. Faarooq & Kama

Let’s be honest, after LOD won the WWF tag titles in 1991, that should have been it. There was nothing left to prove. The Road Warriors were an 80’s tag team that didn’t translate as well in the 1990’s. BTW, why did no one think to team them up with The Undertaker? It would have been awesome to see a team of no-sellers like that. Hawk hits a neckbreaker which Faarooq sells before Hawk delivers it, giving it an awkward look. Faarooq goes up for the Doomsday Device, but here comes D’Lo to make the save, and now the whole Nation is out to destroy the LOD. Ahmed comes to make the save, but it’s four-on-one, and the Nation decimates everybody.

Match #3

Owen Hart vs. Brian Pillman

This is round two of the I-C tournament, a tournament held after Steve Austin’s injury forced him to vacate it. Pillman was in the middle of the Goldust-Marlena angle where he “won” Goldust’s wife in a match, and she was now his valet. Sadly, this was one of Pillman’s last televised matches, but it’s one of his more entertaining ones as he and Owen have a good old-fashioned awful match. Those who have read Mick Foley’s book now of Owen purposely having bad matches to entertain the other wrestlers at house shows, and in a rarity, Owen does one for the MSG show. Owen walks down with his two Slammys (maybe one of the great WWF bits, especially considering Owen technically never actually “won” either of them) and screams “All right, CANADA!!!” Pillman comes out in an armbrace and a leather-clad Marlena. He shows us that she’s wearing a dog collar.

Pillman announces that he is too injured to wrestle his good friend Owen due to having rough sex with Marlena. So he is forfeiting to Owen. But Commissioner Slaughter comes out, and when he throws Pillman the mike to respond, he catches it with the wrong arm. And the match is on.

Owen plays it up. “But I WIN!!! Look at his arm!! Look AT IT!!!!” And the comedy begins asthe two shake hands. Owen starts doing warm-ups and the two almost lock-up, but figure they should warm-up some more. Two lock-ups lead to overly clean breaks, and the crowd starts to turn. And then to make things even better, the two engage in a sequence at half speed to REALLY piss the crowd off. Even Vince seems to be a little bothered as he asks for a commercial break two minutes in. It’s funny in an Andy Kaufman way, either you’re gonna get it or you’re not, but I’m almost glad to see Pillman went out on that kind of note.

Back from break and the two are now beating the crap out of each other due to Marlena hitting Owen with her loaded purse. Pillman starts biting Owen’s face. Irish whip and both men go for a bodypress which looks painful. And in an inspired moment, Goldust comes out and attacks Owen Hart, so Pillman will lose by DQ. Goldust then attacks Pillman, but Brian takes off running with Marlena going with him. And Goldust follows.

That leaves Owen Hart in the ring who dedicates the victory to his “loving brother Bret.” And out comes Steve Austin who absolutely NAILS him in the back of the head, and the cops come out to arrest Austin (Owen had a restraining order against Steve.) Austin gets cuffed, but Vince himself gets into the ring to try to fix things. And the feud begins………

Transcript of what happened:

Vince climbs into the ring with a mike.

Vince: No, no, NO! Wait a minute. What’s the matter with you? Get a hold of yourself. Give me a minute here. Give me a minute. (And a knowing crowd starts to stir.) You had to forfeit the I-C title, the tag title, I can understand why you’re upset. We can all understand that. But don’t break the law. Don’t you understand? Don’t you understand why you’re not allowed to compete? You’re not physically able to compete. If you compete, you could wind up paralyzed. And the WWF is not going to stand by and watch you do that to yourself. These people don’t want to see you end up in a wheelchair. Everybody wants to see you compete. But in due time. Just get a hold of yourself.

Listen. People care. The WWF cares. They care about you. You gotta go with it. In other words, you gotta work within the system.

Austin: You know as well as I do that this is what I do for a living. This is all I know. And there ain’t nobody gonna tell me I ain’t the best in the damn world. (Massive pop) Don’t say nothing. Don’t even say nothing. You sit here and tell me to work within the system. You ain’t the one sitting on your ass at home like I am. But if that’s what it’s gonna take, hell, I feel like Cool Hand Luke, I’ll work within your stupid little system.

Vince: That’s all these people ask……..

Austin: I appreciate the fact that you and the WWF cares. And I also appreciate the fact that, hell……..you can KISS my ASS! (Kick, wham, stunner.)

The audience explodes and Vince does one of the worst selljobs of his life as he quivers like Roddy Piper after getting popped in the groin. The cops rush back in and Austin gets cuffed again and taken away.

Of course, it took the WWF six months to realize the possibilities, but for all intent and purposes, this was where the Austin-McMahon feud began. And take a look back at what Vince says. I mean, he is absolutely right about everything. When Vince was telling the truth was when “Mr. McMahon” was at his best. When he started getting all weird and stuff is when the whole heel Vince stuff started getting really bad.

The WWF recognizes the passing of Bulldog Brower back when recoginizing someone’s passing wasn’t a monthly event.

JR and Lawler remain at the table, but Vince has been replaced by a large pair of breasts. A cold pair, I might add. But it turns out they belong to Rhonda Shear, host of USA Up All Night, the place where you could see all the best sexploitation films without ever seeing, you know, breasts. As a young child, I used to watch them, just hoping the editor would miss something. But then my parents got HBO, and it all became moot. (And just for the record, this was a long, long, LONG time ago.)

Match #4

Hunter-Hearst-Helmsley vs. Cactus Jack (Falls Count Anywhere)

Yeah, I ruined the surprise in the heading, but so be it. This was flat-out one of the best booked segments of RAW ever. And the fan response shows it. The WWF often gave the fans what they wanted, but rarely do they book it perfectly. And man, everything about this segment is perfect. (Well, one minor detail, we’ll get to it later.) HHH had challenged Dude Love to a Falls Count Anywhere match, and to say Dude Love wasn’t the most over guy in the world would be a minor understatement. Dude Love was funny for a one-time thing. And it was cool when he became Corporate Dude, but face Dude Love sucked.

Hunter comes out and performs an early DX chop before that meant anything. Dude’s music plays, and Tony Chimel let’s the cat out of the bag immediately by saying that Dude is from “Truth or Consequences, New Mexico.” But it took years for me to notice that. Dude appears on the TitanTron to tell us that while he’d love to beat up Hunter, he knows someone who’d rather face Hunter. And the crowd starts to stir, but Mankind comes out, and Dude and Mankind have a conversation with each other. But Mankind says that as much as he’s dreamed of hurting Hunter, he knows someone who wants him even more. And with that, Cactus Jack is reborn, and the crowd erupts. And when Cactus comes out from the curtain, the reaction is deafening. Easily Mick Foley’s biggest reaction up to then.
Cactus brings out a shovel and some trashcans, as HHH flips out. He charges Cactus and gets popped in the face with a trashcan for his troubles. Cactus dumps the contents on HHH and the match begins. Another trashcan shot sends HHH into the camera and a HUGE “ECW” chant fills the arena. Not, I’m sure, what Vince was hoping for. Jack pulls up the ring mat and gives HHH a neckbreaker on the concrete for two. The two hit the ring for about three seconds before Cactus hits the clothesline over the top and they both go flying. Cactus gives the “Bang Bang” sign to a giant roar.

HHH runs away from Cactus but it’s only a setup as Chyna clotheslines Foley off-camera. (And this is pre-op Chyna. Not a pleasant sight.) Hunter and Cactus fight through the arena, and end up backstage. (Interesting to note the area where they fight while not the wrestler’s entrance then, it would be for Royal Rumble 2000.) Cactus gets slammed on the concrete for two. Hunter disputes the call, and gets a face full of fire extinguisher for it. Hunter gets thrown into the security railing which slowly falls over, giving Hunter two bumps for the price of one. Back in the ring, and HHH does a backwards flip to the floor as both guys are making a conscious effort not to actually BE in the ring.

Hunter gets pegged with the trashcan again as Foley goes for the elbowdrop to the floor, but Hunter moves, and Cactus lands on the trashcan with a thud. And we’re off to break.

Back from break, and Cactus is getting pummeled with a mop. He gets clotheslined on the top rope and he ends up back on the floor. Back in and he takes a chair to the ribs and gets rammed into the post. HHH gets lowblowed and Cactus tries a sunset flip from the ring to the floor but that gets two. Hunter gets backdropped onto the ramp and as Jack celebrates, Chyna hits him in the face with a chair which he completely no-sells. Hunter knees him in the back sending him into Chyna and Chyna’s head smacks the steel steps knocking her out of the match.

Hunter proceeds to beat the hell out of Catcus, giving him a back suplex on the ramp, smacking him in the face with a rubber garbage can, and then flat out smashing the back of his head into the ramp which sounds painful as hell. And Hunter brings out a table, and the crowd is buzzing at this point. Table spots were extremely rare in the WWF at this point, and you can tell how primitive it is, by spotting A) the obvious pre-cut marks on the side and B) how the table just about breaks when the two stand on it. Hunter goes for a pedigree, but a low blow ends that and Cactus piledrives Hunter through the table for the three.

***Ѕ, though some of it is for sentiment value. There have been better brawls, and better storytelling, but rarely at the same time. This certainly falls in my ten favorite RAW matches.

Shawn Michaels Interview

Shawn calls Undertaker out. And when Taker answers, he gets assaulted by HHH and Rick Rude. Shawn and Chyna join in and it’s a four-on-one assault. Of course, it’s the Undertaker, so he brushes them all off, and sends them running. Sigh. And to think, that was old seven years ago.

Match #5

Bret Hart vs. Goldust

Bret has a few things to say. “I don’t care WHO I face at Survivor Series.” You wanna give that comment some thought, Bret? Goldust comes out without Marlena as he was getting ready to turn into Insane Goldust. Goldust has only half of his face painted because “half of him is missing” and “he’s a big fan of Roddy Piper.” He dominates from the outset, but Bret goes to work on the knee and takes control. Bret spends about three minutes on the knee, ultimately slapping on the figure-four around the post. And HBK comes out to get a better look.

Back from break, and Bret continues to dominate. Goldust gets some minor offense, ramming Bret into the post, but it’s temporary as Bret dissects Goldust before locking on the sharpshooter for the submission, and as soon as he does Shawn attacks, making it a weird heel vs. heel attack, and nobody knows who to cheer for. HHH, Rude, and Chyna come out followed by the Hart Foundation. (There’s a small bit to watch for as Rude had a “no touch”policy which Neidhart breaks as he assaults Rude, and Rude looks rather startled by it.) Undertaker comes out and chokeslams Bret and HBK simultaneously to end the show.

End of show.

Okay, the main event was pretty par for the course, but two of the best segments of RAW were here, including the further origins of what would become DX. McMahon was starting to come around at this point as the reaction to his own ass getting kicked certainly must have gotten the light bulb going off. And the admission that yes, Cactus Jack was a much cooler entity than Mankind despite Vince having nothing to do with the character continues the descent into what would become “Attitude” where anything truly could happen.

An excellent show. A.

And I will make limited copies of this broadcast if so desired. (That offer stands for the Worst Nitro and Best RAW ever as well too. But only for a limited time.)

-Sydney Brown

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