Friday Night Fury: Smackdown 02.23.2007

Friday Night Fury: Smackdown 02.23.2007

Rey returns…sort of

I had myself a little recording snafu this week by forgetting to rewind the tape I was taping on. So I lost part of one of the matches. All will become clear later on when we get to it. The irritating thing is I managed to tape over RVD v Edge from Monday and the backstage superkick but didn’t manage to tape over Khali v the Highlanders. Such is life.

We’re in San Diego, California. Hosts are Michael Cole, with his voice this time, and JBL.

CLIPS – Undertaker makes his decision for Wrestlemania 23. We don’t see the end of the Rumble this week. YUS! Dave lies about not having a problem with teaming with Taker at No Way Out. Then he promptly turns on him and costs Taker the match.

PROMO TIME – “The Mighty” DAVE~! Batista

He walks alone, dontcha know. He also has pretend machine guns. Cole gives up on attempting an interview with Dave after the one where he just said nothing. Dave takes over for himself and says he’s familiar with Taker’s history and his record at Wrestlemania. Having said that he won’t apologise for what he did at No Way Out. He says he didn’t complain about it but he did say that payback is a bitch. Sunday was payback and now they’re even. I wouldn’t bet on it Dave. He says he’s bringing his A game to give us a match we’ll never forget. He says it’s about respect and he’s respected because he isn’t intimidated. He lets the fans know they can cheer who they like. Cheers, Dave. Reaction is somewhat mixed but still mostly positive because what he’s saying does make sense. He seems happy the crowd haven’t turned on him.

CLIPS – Rey & Eddie Guerrero winning the tag titles at No Way Out 2005. Rey is back tonight so they’re getting some footage in to hype that up.

Maryse welcomes us back. Cole points out we have Booker-Kane tonight and the winner gets a MITB spot. Tonight is falls count anywhere.

MATT HARDY/PAUL LONDON/BRIAN KENDRICK w/Ashley Massaro v JOEY MERCURY/DEUCE/DOMINO w/Cherry

Looks like the Untouchables push continues despite the loss on Sunday. Although it has to be mentioned that the other team that challenged Londrick out of nowhere went back there. Hell, I can’t even remember their names. Stevens and someone? Is that even right? Memorable~! JBL talks about his bad back not getting any better as he’s now carrying Cole. Heh. The faces hit a bunch of dropkicks and the heels stumble over themselves like Keystone Cops. Hey, if Cherry has the good sense to move when she sees Mercury getting backdropped then why can’t Deuce and Domino? The tag champs go to town on Mercury’s arm until Domino knocks Kendrick onto the ropes where he hurts his own arm. Seems the ribs was supposed to be the targeted area because that’s where the Untouchables work. Ashley gets the crowd going. She doesn’t do that enough for me. Whenever one of the tag champs is eating heat Ashley should be bouncing around the ring trying to get noise going. The crowd likes her so they should be using that more. More heat on Kendrick. No one really cares because this would be the fourth week in a row he’s eaten heat on Smackdown. It’s getting repetitive. The heat continues through an ad break while the crowd loudly chant “we want Matt”. Kendrick finally rolls around Mercury and tags in Hardy. Side Effect gets 2. Bulldog with a dropkick this time from Matt. Yodelling legdrop! Nice to see that come back. Deuce has to break the pin because that leg was right on the face. The champs break out the STEREO TOPES. Mercury goes to bash Matt with the nose guard but Matt sees it coming and ducks right into the Twist of Fate for the pin at 8.07.

Winners: the faces via pinfall . **. Formula fun. Matt gives his partners a slight rub by teaming with them. They are trying to get Londrick more over than they already are, which is nice to see.

BACKSTAGE Kristal cuts another sycophantic interview with Vickie Guerrero. She says she’s already taken care of her “thing”. Um, ok.

CLIPS – Edge-RVD from Raw. Edge becomes the first guy in the MITB match. I would have thought Van Dam was the more logical choice but he is on the doghouse for not signing a new contract. CM Punk also qualified but they don’t bother showing that because ECW is still considered the worthless feeder brand despite Vince McMahon’s own personal efforts to save the show.

CLIPS – Rey winning the 2006 Royal Rumble.

CHAVO GUERRERO v SCOTTY 2 HOTTY

Say the cruiserweight division. That’s not a joke or anything. On the other hand here’s a cruiserweight joke…what’s the difference between apple pie and Juventud Guerrera? You can’t catch hepatitis from fucking an apple pie. HAHAHA. Take THAT Bob Orton Jr! I don’t think this is for the cruiserweight title but really, would it make a jot of difference to the outcome if it was? Gregory Helms watches on from the back pining for his useless chunk of gold. As per usual Scotty works a style totally dissimilar to the cruiserweight style. Chavo throws him out of the ring. We very nearly get an exhilarating count out. Chavo works away towards the inevitable conclusion before borrowing Melina’s Mutalock. The WWE has probably forgotten she was using it anyway. Scotty manages a roll up for 2 but Chavo promptly kicks him right square in the face. Shades of Wilbur Snyder. Chavo is intent on breaking out an assortment of dull submission attempts. Cole points out that like Helms, Chavo isn’t a typical cruiserweight. Isn’t it time they had one of those? Perhaps signing Mistico and pushing him to the moon would do it. Scotty comes back but he’s not doing anything either. He became a pay check wrestler YEARS ago. He goes for the bulldog but Chavo has it scouted and counters into the Three Amigos. Scotty gets the bulldog anyway. Why does Scotty still look shocked when someone is in position for the Worm? He hits it and Chavo rolls outside rather than just kicking out. Scotty hits a senton off the apron to suggest he’s at least willing to put some effort in but Chavo pins him immediately with his feet on the ropes for the win at 7.38.

Winner: Chavo via cheating pinfall . *1/4. Another thriller from the “highflying” cruiserweight division. Look, either get serious about it or just give up on it. That title hasn’t meant anything in at least a year.

CLIPS – Rey taking the title at Wrestlemania 22. Doesn’t feel like a year since Rey was on top of the world. Feels longer. Booker’s title run was so successful that it felt like it dominated all of 2006.

FROM THE VAULT – Kane v Mr Kennedy from two months ago. Pah, fuck you WWE. That was the one where MVP ran in then Kane disappeared. I hate those stupid gimmick things they do with Taker & Kane. Lights go down and someone disappeared. Creepy, no, just stupid. Hate it.

MITB #3 Qualifier – KING BOOKER w/Queen Sharmell v KANE

So why have the match at the PPV again? That match was so boring. And this one is falls count anywhere. For some reason. Here’s where my recording snafu kicks in. Because I hadn’t rewound the tape so I was recording after Raw it stopped during this match. Luckily I had gotten in from work by then so I could quickly change the tape over. I say quickly, I missed a load of this match but given the quality of their last one, I don’t think I missed much. I get back into the match with Booker throwing Kane outside and grabbing a chair. Kane boots it back into his face but that didn’t look too good. Pin on the floor gets 2. There’s still no explanation as to why it’s falls count anywhere. It’s like watching WCW at times. Kane hits a sidewalk slam for 2. Booker backdrops him outside and tries to follow up but gets goozled. GREAT KHALI is out here. Um, he’s from Raw. Or did they forget? He headbutts at Kane. So it’s not only “falls count anywhere” but also no DQ then. Jesus Christ. Is Russo booking this? Did he get re-hired? Booker pins and he’s in the MITB match. Good, Kane would only stink the joint up.

Winner: King Booker via lack of clearly defined brand split . DUD. Bad before the lame finish. I really hope this doesn’t go anywhere. I’m really, really hoping there’s no cross brand Kane-Khali match on Raw. Or on something even dumber like Wrestlemania. Could they book anything worse? I mean really. I’m in favour of just forgetting Khali exists but I suppose if Vince wants to push him then he might as well go over someone who has no future, like Kane.

BACKSTAGE King Booker says he’s going back to his throne. In comes Khali to shake hands. Sharmell staring upward in total fear is AWESOME. She’s so perfect at everything. Booker is scared until the handshake then he’s back to celebrating.

CLIPS – May 2006. Rey beats JBL causing him to retire.

FIT FINLAYLITTLE BASTARD v THE BOOGEYMEN

Why bother buying the PPV eh? This would be the second match they had on the PPV they’ve now given away for free this week. Little Bastard is hiding under the apron again. This ends up being JIP thanks to another timely ad break. Like at the PPV Finlay lets Boogeyman just run through whatever crap he feels the need to do. I still think he should be asserting himself more. That’s why he’s working this freakshow. Finlay dodges the corner charge and grabs the worms. Little Boogeyman protects it so Finlay shoves him through the ropes and stomps the worms. Little Boogeyman goes LOW. He starts putting the boots to Finlay. Fuck’s sake. In comes Little Bastard but Boogey Jr spits worms at him and hits a clothesline. Finlay boots Little Boogey in the face, Boogey does the same to Finlay and goes after the midget Irishman. Finlay sportingly bails for the shillelagh, which ends up around Boogeyman’s head and then for comedy’s sake Little Bastard DDT’s Boogeyman for the pin at 2.46.

Winners: The Fighting Irish via de-push . ½*. Boogeyman sure is getting buried this time around. Good. Someone get Little Bastard a title shot! He has a great record as a pro.

HALL OF FAME – Dusty Rhodes and Curt Hennig are going in this year. I can’t really argue with either of those. As much as I personally don’t like Rhodes there’s no denying his success. As for Hennig, why he’s the Perfect inductee.

Maryse welcomes us back by speaking French and wearing lingerie. Mmm.

NEXT WEEK – Undertaker offers a rebuttal to Dave’s statement.

PROMO TIME – Rey Mysterio

Rey has a PIMP~! Cane so he can walk out here. He looks like Gabriel Grey in a mask. Nah, Gabe isn’t that short. Crowd pops HUGE. I think the fact the WWE comes to San Diego all the time could help them in re-signing Rey. If he went to TNA he’d have to work Orlando all the time. He can’t stop smiling and says how happy he is to be out here. He says he’s ahead of schedule and he’ll be back sooner than expected. His promo in Spanish is far more coherent. He’s interrupted by…VINCE MCMAHON. This guy is everywhere these days. I thought we asked for LESS McMahon’s this year. He has a bucket load of security in tow. I mean like 20 security guys. “BOOOO” – San Diego. Vince snatches the mic off Rey. “Asshole” – San Diego. He makes fun of Rey’s height. Yeah, that’s a tough target Vince. He points out Rey is too injured to be at Wrestlemania, which is a pity because he’ll miss Vince’s battle with Donald Trump. Yeah, he must be gutted. Vince says all the stuff about Trump he said on Raw on Monday. He adds that he’ll not use scissors but just rip Donald’s hair out with his bare hands. Ah, like Megatron defeated Optimus Prime. “I’ll rip out your optics”. I approve. Vince asks Rey who he thinks will win at Mania. Rey calls him a loser. Vince decides this would be an opportune time to bring out his designee for Mania; UMAGA. There’s a brand split you say? Vince asks Rey is his opinion has changed since Umaga got out here. Vince steals Rey’s cane and bashes Rey with it before Umaga hits the Pop Up Samoan Drop. Is that a good thing to do to a guy who’s recovering from knee surgery? I’d question just how sensible that was. Vince’s mannerisms are almost sickening. Isn’t he enough of a heel already? Umaga adds in the old butt avalanche for good measure. Vince hasn’t seen enough though and gets Umaga to splash the knee. So much for Rey being ahead of schedule. At least the splash looked fairly safe compared to the needlessly violent nature of the Samoan Drop. I really hope Rey didn’t get re-injured doing this pointless spot. Crowd look genuinely concerned and that’s the end of the show.

The 411 –

What the hell happened to this show? Thumbs down.