In The Downtime: TNA Wrestling: Best Of 2009

I don’t really have a reviewing schedule in mind right now (though I’ll track down stuff if enough people ask for it), so I’m just trying to review products that haven’t been touched yet. When I run out of those, I’ll just piss off a whole lot of people by reviewing DVDs that have been done to death. You’ve been warned.

Anyway, I picked this up recently because I wanted to watch some of TNA’s product without going cross-eyed from frustration. There are so many masturbation jokes that could be made there, but I’ll let you make them for me.

Just to clear up my feelings on the company, I think that they employ some of the greatest workers in the world, but I am flabbergasted at the level of stupidity of those in charge. I mean, c’mon—the company has undergone so many personnel changes at the top, and nobody has thought to remove TNA from the company’s name. That would be my first move if I were in charge.

Also, this is the first 411mania review I’ve written in which I did most of the writeup on my first time viewing the show (as opposed to Kaiju and NECW, which I had watched a few times before doing the writeup). I’m not a big fan of “walls of text”, so this might be the last time that I review something in this way. If you don’t mind it, though (or, heck, if you enjoy it), let me know.

–TNA Man tells us that 2009 was the best year in TNA’s history, switching between subjective praise (“the X-Division flew higher”) and outright fabrications (“the Knockouts Division grew stronger”). Highlights are shown of great in-ring action. Not shown: the booking that made most of these spots pointless in the long run.

-NO! Bad, spirit of Scott Keith, bad! Deep breaths, deep breaths, remember that AJ Styles works for this company…

-Okay, we’re good.

-TNA Impact! – July 16, 2009
Sarita vs. Alissa Flash
Alissa Flash is an unmasked Raisha Saeed, but is really indie superstar Cheerleader Melissa (and worked dark matches under that name for TNA). Sooo…why did they change her name? I need a beer, and I’m only two minutes into this DVD. This is the TNA debut for both women (okay, not in the case of Flash, but you know what I mean), though this is set up by Mike Tenay and Don West to be a squash match in Sarita’s favor. This match is listed as the “Knockouts Match of the Year”.

Flash demands to be announced as being “The Future Legend”, one of Cheerleader Melissa’s nicknames. That’s not helping my sobriety. Flash spits on Sarita to start, and gets a few shots in before Sarita executes a springboard armdrag. She follows it up with a suicide dive, which gets a replay. Flash slams Sarita on the outside to gain the advantage, and shoves Sarita into the guardrail with her boot. Back in the ring, Flash hammers Sarita with various strikes. West: “Who’s debut is this, anyway?” Well, like I said, it’s both of their debuts, but Sarita was the one who got all of the video packages. Sarita hits a crossbody for a two-count, then Flash takes control by toying with Sarita like she was a cat’s toy. Sarita attempts an ARMBAR, but Flash rolls through and hits a curbstomp, which gets a two-count. Sarita attempts something else, but Flash just powerbombs her because she can. Sarita tries a wheelbarrow…thing, but Flash german suplexes her into the turnbuckle. Flash sets up a Tombstone Piledriver, but Sarita gets a victory roll for the victory at 4:45. After the match, Sarita asks for a handshake, but Flash gives her a Michinoku Driver instead. Great TV match, but the booking leaves something to be desired. Sarita, who they were touting as a big star, had to get a fluke victory, while the woman who dominated most of the match took the loss. I wouldn’t mind so much if this was the start of a feud, but as far as I know, these two barely saw each other until Flash asked for her release in early 2010. **1/4

-Recap of angle between Kurt Angle and AJ Styles. Karen Angle came between them. Sounds familiar. This is listed as the “Impact! Match of the Year”. I didn’t watch much of Impact! in 2009, but even I know that the show had better matches than this.

-TNA Impact! – January 22, 2009
Tables Match: AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle
They trade wristlocks to start. Not sure how that works into the psychology of putting someone through a table, but whatever. Angle gets a headlock, but Styles works out of it and gets the AJ Dropkick Sequence. Angle powders out, then comes back in. STALLING! They work a weird sequence where Angle pushes Styles over the top rope, but Styles flips Angle to the outside in doing so. He follows it up with the Superman Forearm. Styles sets up a table on the outside, but Angle rolls back into the ring. Commercial break, and the action returns to show a whole lot of nothing going on. Angle brings a table into the ring and slams Styles into it. He works another headlock, and throws his knee into Styles’s midsection to stop a comeback. Angle sets Styles up on the top rope, but Styles fights out of it. Angle sets up a german suplex, but Styles knocks over the table before he can get put through it. They trade strikes, then Styles crotches Angle on the edge of the table. OW. Styles works in a kneedrop and another Superman Forearm. Styles sets the table back up and signals for the Styles Clash, but Angle flips Styles over and locks in the Anklelock. Styles escapes and hits the Pele Kick. IT CAME OUTTA NOWHERE~! Styles places Angle on the table and climbs the turnbuckle. Angle pops up and goes for the top rope belly-to-belly suplex, but Styles knocks him off, and Angle falls onto the table. Styles goes for a splash, but Angle moves and Styles smacks his head on the table. The Angleslam through the table at 8:56 (shown) is academic. Angle attacks Styles after the match—first with stomps, then with a chair, and finally locks in the Anklelock. I’m not the biggest fan of the series of matches that Styles and Angle had, but this was better than most of them and featured some unique psychology for a table match, too. I’m not saying that all of it worked, but at least they took risks, which is more than I can say for most table matches I’ve ever seen (that’s far more ironic than it should be). **3/4

-TNA Man tells the story of Sting‘s failed heel turn (or how he got disenchanted with the Main Event Mafia—whatever works for you). This next match is listed as the “Grudge Match of the Year”. I don’t agree with that assessment, especially since this match resolved nothing.

-TNA Impact! – February 19, 2009
Empty Arena Match: Sting vs. Kurt Angle
This match takes place a little over ten years after “Halftime Heat”. No huge significance—just wanted to point that out. They do entrances, and yes, they look colossally stupid. The next time I review TNA, I’m bringing a six-pack with me.

No bell—they just start trading shots right off the bat. Sting wins the exchange and clotheslines Angle over the top rope. Sting follows him out and throws him into a wall. Angle fights back with forearm strikes. Sting fights back with punches. There’s a lot of walking around the arena that I’m not covering, but if I covered every little detail, this thing would go on for five pages (and yet…). Lots of punches from Sting, lots of cheapshots from Angle. They climb the bleachers, and Sting throws Angle to the concrete. This is both magnificent and stupid. TNA! TNA! TNA! Angle gains the advantage by hitting Sting with a mailbox. This match is making Kaiju Big Battel seem realistic. Sting whips Angle over the guardrail and throws Angle into another one before Angle saves himself with a nutshot. Angle grabs a chair, but Sting blocks the strike and hits Angle with it. They start discussing whether Sting should hit Angle with the chair again or not, with acting and drama on par with Passions. Kevin Nash and Steiner get between them and try to make peace. Sting and Angle eventually shake hands, but Angle spits on Sting, and a pullapart brawl ensues. And then it just ends (6:30ish). Well, I can see why they would put this on TV (sort of), but why would you put this tripe on a best-of DVD? [*]

-The rest of these matches are counting down to the best match of the year. I guess that explains why the previous matches weren’t all that good.

-Recap of the heat between Kurt Angle and Jeff Jarrett. Here, Angle is the heel and Jarrett is the face. As I’m writing this, these two guys are still feuding, but the alignments are reversed…and it’s just as good. That’s a huge credit to both men.

-Genesis – January 11, 2009
No Disqualification Grudge Match: Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Jarrett
Brawl to start. Jarrett wins the first exchange and whips Angle into the corner a few times. Angle reverses a whip and grabs a sleeper hold, but Jarrett punts Angle between the legs and works in an Electric Chair Drop. Jarrett clotheslines Angle over the top rope—HEYWAITAMINUTE, Rhino is throwing around a few items backstage! Man, isn’t that fascinating? Thank goodness for this interruption, I was just starting to get into this match! Back to the match (awwww), Jarrett smacks Angle’s head into the guardrail a few times. He throws a beer in Angle’s face. I’d question how much that hurts, but then again, I imagine that TNA fans put something harsh in their drinks to stomach Russo booking. Jarrett throws Angle back in the ring, but Angle knocks Jarrett off the apron when Jarrett tries to follow him. The fall busted Jarrett’s mouth open. Angle throws Jarrett back in the ring and gets a two-count off of a snap suplex. He stomps Jarrett and hits a backbreaker for another two-count. He works in a chinlock. A hateful chinlock, mind you. Jarrett gets to his feet but walks into a belly-to-belly suplex. He locks in another hateful chinlock. Angleslam attempt, but Jarrett armdrags out of it and backdrops Angle to the floor. Jarrett attempts a plancha and barely tags Angle on the way down, taking most of the impact on his own stomach. Angle throws Jarrett over the announcer’s table and smacks Jarrett with the bell. Jarrett is now busted wide open, and Angle busts him farther open with punches. Jarrett gets the upper hand with a DDT on the ramp. They fight their way to the top of the ramp, and Jarrett smacks Angle on some of the steel rods. Angle finds an opening, though, and Angleslams Jarrett off the ramp, past a table (the intended target), and Jarrett lands right on the concrete. In case it isn’t coming through in the PBP, this is getting brutal(ly awesome). They start crawling to the ring. Both make it in, and exchange death stares and punches. Understand that both men have some of the best punches in the business, so this is far more interesting than it may sound. Jarrett wins the exchange and gets a Pedigree(?) for a two-count(?!). Jarrett goes for the Stroke, but Angle blocks it and locks in the Anklelock. Jarrett goes for the ropes, but Angle pulls him back to the middle of the ring. Jarrett rolls through, and the momentum sends Angle out of the ring. Angle picks up a chair on the outside, but Jarrett dropkicks it into Angle’s face. The Stroke gets a two-count. Incredulity ensues. Jarrett places Angle on the top rope, but Angle knocks him down and hits a missile dropkick. He follows it with the Angle Slam for a two-count. Anklelock attempt, but Jarrett knocks him away, and Angle hits his shoulder against the ring post on a charge. Jarrett picks up a guitar, but Angle kicks him in the nuts in midswing. Angle picks up the guitar and performs an informal survey with the guitar and the chair. The crowd wants the guitar, so Angle flips them the bird and cracks Jarrett in the head with the chair. This only gets a two-count, and Angle accosts the referee in his anger. Jarrett attempts an enzuigiri, but it misses and Angle locks in the Anklelock for the billionth time. Jarrett stays in it for a long time, but finds a way out and turns it into a pin attempt, which gets a two-count. Angle goes for the Angle Slam, but Jarrett turns it into a DDT in mid-move. God, I love that counter. Jarrett picks up the guitar, but it is busted, so he picks up the chair instead and smacks Angle in the head with it. Jarrett isn’t able to capitalize, though, due to his ankle injury. Jarrett crawls onto Angle, but Angle reverses the pin attempt into one of his own, and that gets him the victory at 22:00. The unprotected chair shots haven’t aged well, but barring a few acceptable botches and miscues with the weapons, this was an awesome brawl that never wore out its welcome. It flowed well, everything had a purpose, and while the match was pretty gosh-darn violent, they didn’t go over the top with the brutality. ****1/4

-Bound For Glory – October 18, 2009
Ultimate X Match for the X-Division Championship: Amazing Red © vs. Homicide vs. Suicide vs. Alex Shelley vs. Chris Sabin vs. Daniels
Shelley and Sabin come down together as the Motor City Machine Guns, effectively canceling each other out as potential winners. Suicide is replacing Pope D’Angelo Dinero, who is not in attendance due to a family emergency. I’m a fan of everyone in this match, though to varying degrees.

Complete chaos to start. Suicide performs that snapmare-turnbuckle thing on Shelley and follows it up with a running russian legsweep. Red does a headscissors takedown on Daniels, and Homicide follows up on Daniels with his tope con hilo. Suicide dives on Homicide, and Sabin dives on Suicide. Red hits Trouble in Paradise on Shelley, knocking him to the outside, but Daniels cuts Red off on a dive attempt. Daniels starts to climb, but Red crotches him and hurricanranas him to the outside onto everybody else in the match. With all of the cute spots out of the way, Red tries to climb up, but the MCMG stop him and execute a Giant Swing into a dropkick. Daniels reverses a MCMG double-team into a bulldog/neckbreaker. Homicide climbs up and touches the belt, but Suicide follows him up. Homicide executes an Ace Crusher on Suicide, and they both die (sorry). Shelley hits a weird double-stomp on Homicide and Daniels and hit Homicide with a double-superkick. Daniels tries to fight off the MCMG, but he gets caught in a Doomsday Dropkick anyway. Red stops another MCMG double-team, and somehow Sabin ends up dropkicking Shelley by accident. Red hits an Asai DDT on Sabin, and Suicide does a springboard dropkick on Shelley. Homicide cleans house and climbs up, but Daniels drags him down and hits a Death Valley Driver. Red drops Daniels with a Shining Hurricanrana and tries to go up, but after a millenia of stalling and waiting, Suicide springboard dropkicks him down. Daniels hits a Blue Thunder Driver on Suicide and climbs up, but Sabin cuts him off. They both drop down, landing on their feet, and Sabin hits his springboard DDT on Daniels. Ah, screw it—various men come in and hit devastating offense on each other, ending with all of the men lying on the ground, spent. I’d recap it all, but there are only 24 hours in a day, and this is already a wall of text as it is. In a spot that defies logic, momentum, and grammar, Red goes for a top-rope Code Red on Suicide, but Sabin runs up and tries to german suplex Suicide, but Red turns it into a sunset flip bomb on Sabin, and all of the men fall to the mat hard, with Suicide’s legs hitting Daniels in the face. That was awesomely stupid. Suicide hits the Flux Capacitor on Sabin, and Daniels follows that with a BME on Sabin. Daniels and Suicide climb to the top of the steel structure, with Red lagging behind. This is not going to end well. Suicide and Daniels meet in the middle and start fighting. Even the crowd seems more horrified than excited. Eventually, they work their way down until they are straddling the middle of the X. Then, in one of the most frightening spots I have ever seen in my life, Daniels hits a Reverse STO on Suicide…but the move requires Daniels to fall backwards, and with the extra distance added to the fall, Daniels effectively falls ten feet onto the top of his head. A few people start a “Holy Shit” chant, but most of the crowd sound concerned for Daniels’s life. Even Tazz breaks character on commentary, telling someone to “Check him!” The MCMG climb the X and make it to the middle, but Red falls on them from above and unhooks the belt for the win at 15:16. Not the best Ultimate X match ever, but I liked some of the intersecting storylines (the MCMG running rampant, Daniels vs. Suicide) and most of the X-Division’s excesses were kept in check. I could have lived without seeing Daniels almost kill himself, though. ***

-Bound For Glory – October 18, 2009
TNA Heavyweight Championship: Sting vs. AJ Styles ©
Sting’s winning streak at Bound For Glory is brought up, as is the prospect of retirement. Sting makes his entrance wearing a gothic Sergeant Peppers trenchcoat. Styles makes his way down wearing bright colors. DICHOTOMY! Jeremy Borash does the AJPW/UFC-style ring announcing. Nice touch.

They shake hands to start. They trade headlocks, then hiptosses. Sting tries to hiptoss Styles to the outside, but Styles lands on the apron, and Sting dodges under a Styles springboard. Another sequence, another stalemate. Styles eventually hits a slam and a kneedrop for a two-count. Sting reverses an irish whip, and Styles crashes into the corner upside-down. Sting clotheslines Styles over the top rope. Earl Hebner starts a count, but Sting interrupts and holds the ropes open for Styles. He enters the ring without incident. A lockup ends with a Styles enzuigiri. He gets a two-count off of a suplex. Styles throws Sting into the corner hard. Sting answers with two faceplants and a barroom backdrop. Styles responds with the AJ Dropkick Sequence. Styles tries to launch onto Sting, but he puts on the brakes when Sting moves out of the way. Styles tries it anyway off of the apron, but Sting moves again, and Styles hits the guardrail. Sting attempts the Stinger Splash on the outside, but that never works and this is no exception. Styles breaks Hebner’s count, and they both re-enter the ring. They trade strikes for a bit. Styles attempts a Tombstone Piledriver, but Sting reverses it into one of his own for a two-count. Styles retreats to the apron. Sting follows him, but Styles knocks him back and hits him with the Superman Forearm for a two-count. Styles goes for his Reverse Springboard DDT, but Sting counters into the Scorpion Death Drop. He follows it with a Stinger Splash and another Scorpion Death Drop for a close two-count. He locks in the Scorpion Death Lock, but Styles pushes him off. Styles hits him with some hard strikes, but Sting fires up and levels Styles with a clothesline for a two-count. Sting goes for a superplex, but Styles blocks it and hits the Pele Kick from the apron OUTTA NOWHERE. Styles follows it up with a springboard splash for the win at 13:53. Wait, that’s the finish? It felt like the match needed another ten minutes to really build up the drama. Up until the odd finish, the match was a great back-and-forth affair that worked far better than it should have. **3/4

-Recap of Angle turning face after realizing how awesome the rest of the roster is. Desmond Wolfe, aka Nigel McGuinness, makes an impact in his debut by beating up Angle. This leads to…

-Turning Point – November 15, 2009
Grudge Match: Desmond Wolfe vs. Kurt Angle
Wolfe begins by working a wristlock. Angle gets out of it and armdrags Wolfe into an armbar. One dude: “This is wrestling!” Geez, wait for the match to get going first, dickweed. Wolfe works out of it and works Angle’s arm. A lot. It’s Nigel McGuinness, though, so it isn’t boring. Wolfe draps Angle’s arm over the top rope, then kicks the top rope. That’s unique. Wolfe twists Angle’s wrist over the middle rope, then clobbers him with a forearm. I’m loving this arm psychology—using the arm to both weaken Angle for a possible submission and also leaving him open for a knockout strike. Angle boots Wolfe in the face and gets a two-count off of a suplex. Angle misses on a charge into the corner, though. Wolfe executes a reverse hammerlock Divorce Court, then takes him over with the arm again. Angle tries to get out of trouble with a sunset flip, but Wolfe just slaps Angle’s arm into the mat. He works in his version of the Rings of Saturn. See, this is much better than “indie armwork” since Wolfe has an arm submission in his arsenal and could conceivably get a victory with it. In other words, it has a purpose other than killing time. Angle gets out of trouble by trying to get the Anklelock, but Wolfe kicks him away. Wolfe works in his running corner European uppercut. He goes for it again, but Angle belly-to-belly suplexes him. Angle gets a few clotheslines in and gets a two-count off of a forearm strike. Angle hits six(!) german suplexes in a row, prompting a “TNA!” chant. Wolfe armdrags out of the Angleslam, though, and lariats Angle for a two-count. Wolfe goes for the Tower of London, but Angle counters into the Angleslam for a two-count. Wolfe hits an arm wringer and locks in the London Dungeon, but Angle rolls through and locks in the Anklelock. Wolfe reverses into a keylock using his legs. Angle rolls through that and locks in the Anklelock again. Wolfe eventually makes it to the ropes. Wolfe reverses an Angleslam into a DDT. Yep, still awesome. Wolfe hits the Tower of London for a close two-count. Wolfe telegraphs a lariat, but Angle responds with one of his own. He goes for the moonsault, but Wolfe moves out of the way, and he locks in the London Dungeon again. Angle makes it to the ropes. This isn’t spectacular, but I’m loving the story being told with the reversals. Wolfe attempts the Tower of London, but Angle fights out of it and executes a frogsplash for a two-count. Angle goes for a Tombstone Piledriver, but Wolfe reverses it, but Angle reverses it into the Anklelock. Wolfe tries to kick him off, but Angle transitions into a version of the cross-armbreaker, and that’s enough for the submission at 16:21. Wolfe sells it by clutching the side of his face. With another five minutes, this could have been a match for the ages—seriously, that’s my only criticism. Wolfe came in with a genius plan to beat Angle: being ready for all of Angle’s signature spots while damaging Angle’s arm as both an offensive and defensive tactic. Angle, in turn, had to think outside of the box to stay in the match, throwing out hard clotheslines, high-risk offense, and winning with a possibly-illegal hold. Unfairly overshadowed by the match that immediately followed it, but it’s definitely worth going out of your way to see. ****1/2

-Recap of Styles vs. Samoa Joe vs. Daniels. You know, there was a point in time five years ago when I watched their Unbreakable match every day for two weeks, so I’m kind of partial to it. Also, I’m a little weird.

-Turning Point – November 15, 2009
Three Way Match for the TNA Heavyweight Championship: AJ Styles © vs. Samoa Joe vs. Daniels
We get super ultra serious entrances here, starting with a view of the men stretching out in the back. Jeremy Borash does the AJPW/UFC-style ring announcing.

Daniels suckerpunches Styles to start. From there, Styles and Joe stun Daniels and start fighting each other. He hits the flying forearm on Joe in the corner, but Joe ends up reversing a whip and getting an enzuigiri on Styles in the corner. He gets most of the Joe Combo on Styles, but Daniels stops the kneedrop with a leg lariat. Daniels teases a dive on Joe on the outside, but Styles almost pins him with the O’Connor Roll. He tries to get the AJ Dropkick Sequence, but Daniels stops his own momentum and Styles flops onto the mat. Styles hits the dropkick anyway when Daniels hits the ropes, and hits one on Joe as well when he enters the ring. This is all lightning-fast, by the way. Pleasure to watch, but a nightmare to recap. Styles grabs a headlock on Daniels. Daniels picks up Styles and tries to toss him out of the ring, but Styles kicks Joe off of the apron and uses the momentum to ground Daniels. Seriously, how in the blue hell am I supposed to recap all of this? Joe takes out Daniels and Styles by tripping them up. He hits a high kneestrike on Daniels for a two-count. He executes a kneebar on Daniels, but Styles breaks it up with a kneedrop. Crowd: “This is wrestling!” I appreciate the sentiment, but God, these folks need to shut up. They’re almost half as bad as Tool fans. Styles suplexes Joe after some effort. He puts the Mutalock on Joe, but Daniels breaks it up. He droptoeholds Styles and kneedrops the back of his head. He gets a two-count off of a neckbreaker variation. Joe runs in, but Daniels droptoeholds him as well, then slams Styles onto Joe. He follows this up with a simultaneous Boston Crab on Styles and Camel Clutch on Joe. Daniels wasn’t holding onto Styles’s legs, so it didn’t look like it hurt, but it looked really pretty for a second there. Joe bites out of it and hits the STJoe on Daniels and the facewash on Styles—then one to Daniels. Joe gets most of the Joe Combo on Daniels when Styles intervenes. Joe gives him an inverted atomic drop, though, and hits him with a dropkick while falling onto Daniels in a senton position. This is some video game level stuff here. Joe telegraphs a dive onto Styles, but Styles cuts him off with a kick. Styles enters the ring and starts working on Daniels, but Daniels levels him with a forearm. Daniels looks to dive onto Joe, but Styles cuts him off with a suplex. Styles tries to dive onto Joe, but Joe moves and kicks Styles’s legs out from under him, causing Styles’s head to smack onto the apron. THEN Daniels dives onto Joe. He goes for an Arabian Press on the outside, but Styles cuts him off and leaves him open for The Choke. Styles breaks it up with a Fosbury Flop. This gets a two-count on Joe after he rolls him back into the ring. He gets a headscissors takedown on Joe. Crowd: “Screw Hulk Hogan!” Alright, that’s cute. Daniels inserts himself into the action, but Styles knocks him down, springs off him onto Joe, and hits a springboard hurricanrana on Daniels for a two-count. Styles starts attacking Joe, so Daniels sneaks up behind him and starts shoving him into Joe. In a great play on their Unbreakable match, Daniels monkeyflips Styles onto Joe, but Joe catches Styles and powerbombs him onto Daniels. Joe powerbombs Styles again and uses the kickout to transition into a version of a Boston Crab, then transitions into an STF, then transitions from there into a crossface. Despite all of that, Styles still reaches the ropes. Styles gets some distance only to run into a running powerslam from Joe for a two-count. Daniels re-enters the fray and hits an inverted DDT on Joe and a uranage on Styles at the same time. He isn’t able to get a three-count on either man, though. He hits a Death Valley Driver on Styles for a two-count. Styles counters a suplex attempt by Daniels into a suplex neckbreaker. Joe enters the ring and hits a huge roundhouse kick on Styles, but Daniels ducks one and hits an enzuigiri. Styles pops up and hits the Pele Kick OUTTA NOWHERE! Styles hits a slingshot senton on Joe and transitions into a discus clothesline on Daniels seemlessly. Styles knocks Daniels out of the ring and hits the Superman Forearm on Joe for a two-count. Styles hits a hurricanrana on Joe for a two-count. Styles hits his Reverse Springboard DDT for a two-count. Daniels enters the ring, so Styles goes for the Reverse Springboard DDT on Daniels, but he reverses it into Last Rites for a two-count. Daniels german suplexes Joe(!), but Joe responds with a Muscle Buster. Styles breaks up the pinfall attempt. Crowd: “This is wrestling!” I hate their moms. Joe uses the Farmer’s Roll on Styles for a two-count. Styles levels Joe with a spin kick. He signals for the Styles Clash on Joe, but Daniels gives him an enzuigiri. Daniels goes for Last Rites, but Styles gets out of it, and they trade nearfalls before Daniels gets Styles up for the Styles Clash. Joe kicks Daniels down, though, and Styles gets a two-count before Joe kicks him between the shoulderblades. I know this is more PBP than opinion and analysis, but there’s little here that doesn’t deserve to be mentioned, and that’s a good thing. Joe knocks both men down with clotheslines, but Daniels and Styles hit a version of Total Elimination on Joe. They trade strikes, then both men work their way to the apron. They try to superplex each other to the outside, but Joe chops Styles to the floor. Joe goes for the Musclebuster on Daniels, but he gets out of it and hits the Reverse STO. He hits the BME, but Styles hits them both with a springboard 450 and covers Joe for the win at 21:49. Very similar to their Unbreakable match, but with some maturity thrown in. It has a few flaws that hold it back—never bought Daniels as a potential winner, some of the sequences didn’t make much sense in context, and for all of its maturity, it didn’t feature much of a story—but this was still a hell of a fireworks show. ****1/4

-TNA Man lets us know that things will only get better when Hulk Hogan shows up next year. Cue laughter.

Bonus Features

-Music video. It, uh, looks pretty.

-Hulk Hogan shows up for a TNA press conference with Eric Bischoff. He introduces his new business partner, professional MILF Dixie Carter. Pure fluff.

-Interview with Dixie Carter. It’s a ten-minute interview that you’ve probably heard before—she comes across as well-meaning and nice, but that’s about it.

The 411: Three matches that reached at least ****1/4 ensure that this is worth a purchase. On top of that, they are very different ****1/4 matches, so there's sure to be something here that you will love. That the rest of the DVD is mostly okay is rendered moot under the force of those snowflakes. Well worth your money.
Final Score:  8.5   [ Very Good ]