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Csonka’s AEW Dynamite Review 5.13.20

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– JR, Excalibur, & Tony are on commentary.

– Lance Archer arrives, throwing a man around and destroying him. Jake joins him and says he’s been asked to apologize for his actions last week, he says he will as soon as Brandi kisses his ass. The ring is their playhouse, they write the book and know this, as far as he’s concerned, a woman is great at home, cooking, taking care of babies and occasionally keeping him warm. The time for Cody is about up, he can’t hide any more. Cody arrives is his truck, he’s taped up and brawls with Lance, low blowing him and unloading with strikes until Lance starts tossing him around. Cody fires back, but lance cuts him off. Jake provide narration as Cody throws a chair at him but Lance boots him and Jake calls off Lance. Cody still wants to fight but Lance &Jake leave.

– We get a video package, highlighting the AEW tag team division.

Best Friends vs. Jurassic Express: Stunt & Cassidy are at ringside. Jungle Boy & Chuck begin, working into counters as Chuck gets cradled for 2. Jungle Boy follows with arm drags, Trent tags in and Luchasaurus joins him. Luchasaurus overpowers him right away, Trent picks up the pace, but Luchasaurus mows him down with chops. They trade, Luchasaurus follows with a flapjack and kicks for 2. He follows with chops, Jungle Boy tags in and Trent cuts him off with the snap Saito. Trent delivers strikes, they workup top and Jungle Boy battles back as Chuck joins in but Jungle Boy ends up with the dropkick and jawbreaker. Luchasaurus in and he runs wild and Trent cuts off Jungle Boy, but Luchasaurus counters the dive, Chuck makes the save and hey suplex Luchasaurus on the floor. They hug and Jungle Boy follows with a tope. Post break and Luchasaurus delivers chops on Trent, Trent counters back with the spear and Chuck and Jungle Boy tag in. They trade, lighting each other up and Chuck cuts him off with a knee strike until Jungle Boy hits the lariat. It breaks down, DDT by Trent and Cassidy is attacked by Fenix on the ramp. MJF posts Jungle Boy and the awful waffle finishes him. Best Friends defeated Jurassic Express @ 10:50 via pin

Hikaru Shida vs. Penelope Ford vs. Dr. Britt Baker vs. Kris Statlander: Kip Sabian is at ringside. They brawl at the bell, pairing off as baker works over Shida, curb stomping her and Statlander attacks Baker. Ford joins in and the brawl continues, Baker &Shida get back to it as Baker hits sling blade and Statlander breaks up lockjaw. Ford cuts her off and covers for 2. Baker works over Statlander, lays the boots to her and Shida makes the save. She and baker brawl to the floor, Ford is cut off by Statlander and Shida makes the save. Shida goes back to Baker and we get a tower of doom, Statlander slams Ford onto the pile as Shida hits a flying knee strike. Post break and Statlander works over Shida, Baker cuts off big bang theory and hits a destroyer on Statlander. Ford hits her with the lethal injection and Shida makes the save. Ford counters back into a stunner and Baker cuts her off and Statlander attacks, hits the Michinoku driver and that gets 2. Shida cuts her off, suplexes Ford onto her and Baker superkicks Statlander, gets dumped and Ford missile dropkicks Shida for 2. Kip grabs Shida, she escapes and picks up the near fall and then does the deal until Statlander makes the save. Poison RANA by Ford and Baker posts Statlander. Shida hits a back breaker on Ford and Baker lockjaws Statlander on the floor as Shida hits the running knee strike to pin Ford. Hikaru Shida defeated Penelope Ford, Dr. Britt Baker, & Kris Statlander @ 10:30 via pin

– We get a really good promo from Pineapple Pete on his feud with Jericho.

– Shida will face Nyla Rose at Double or Nothing for the women’s championship.

Matt Hardy & Kenny Omega vs. Santana & Ortiz: Santana & Ortiz attack Kenny during his entrance, they run wild in the ring and Matt arrives. He attacks and bites Santana, dumps him to the tube and then works over Ortiz. Santana is back and Matt dumps him. He follows and gets whipped to the barricade. Kenny works over Ortiz, picks up the pace until Ortiz back rakes him, tiger style. Ortiz controls, Santana tags n and Kenny battles back and hits the double bulldog. Matt tags in and double teams follow as they take control. Matt hits the side effect and leg drop for 2. Kenny tags back in and follows with chops and strikes. Ortiz distracts Kenny as Santana dumps him. Kenny fires back, Ortiz stops that and takes control on the floor. Post break and the heels have the heat on Kenny. Santana follows with the crab, Ortiz joins in and works a camel clutch along with him. Back rakes follow and they eye pokes. Ortiz chokes him out and Kenny slowly fires back, Ortiz grounds him and tags in Santana. He controls quick tags follow and Kenny keeps firing back, rocks Ortiz and follows with the snapdragon. Matt & Santana tag in, Matt controls in the corner and follows with clotheslines and a big lariat. He dumps Ortiz and the side effect gets 2. The draping final cut follows for 2. Matt follows with elbows, Ortiz makes the save and dumps him as Santana follows with a dive. Matt runs them together back in and Kenny hits a house show dive. The twist of fate gets 2 as Ortiz makes the save. Kenny tags in and Santana battles back, Ortiz posts Matt and Santana follows with the rolling cutter on Kenny as double teams follow. Ortiz back in and Kenny counters the street sweeper with a RANA and tags in Matt, The hanging guillotine follows and Sammy arrives so Matt breaks it and Matt lays him out with the twist of fate. Matt takes Ortiz up top and follows, V trigger by Kenny Matt picks up the win. Matt Hardy & Kenny Omega vs. Santana & Ortiz @ 18:00 via pin

– Taz tries to interview Darby again, apologizing for last week, but still bringing up how Darby lost. He wants to help and Darby says he knows what happened and was an amateur wrestler, and then leaves.

– Darby, Colt, Fenix, & Cassidy are confirmed for the Casino Ladder match at the PPV.

– Shida is edited about her upcoming title shot and Nyla arrives congratulating her and hits her with a kendo stick. “I found your kendo stick, bitch!”

MJF vs. Lee Johnson: The Wardlow is at ringside. MJF dominates at the bell, controlling with ease. Lee fires back, MJF no sells and pummels him with strikes. He dumps Lee and works him over on the floor. The apron bomb follows and back in, MJF follows with the shoulder breaker and salt of the Earth for the win. MJF defeated Lee Johnson @ 2:45 via submission [NR]

– MJF mocks his opponent and says next week, he faces Marko Stunt for a warm-up match for his PPV match with the Jungle Boy.

Chris Jericho vs. Pineapple Pete: The Inner Circle are at ringside. Jericho is wearing a Pineapple Pete shirt. He slaps Pete and Pete fires up, runs wild until Jericho ends him with the Judas effect. Chris Jericho defeated Pineapple Pete @ 1:05 via pin [NR]

– Jericho now addresses the feud with the Elite, if they still exist. Page & The Bucks are at home, but they are fair and honorable men and will allow them to get their shit together. The Inner Circle will act, write history and have created the Stadium Stampede match. If you loved last week’s street fight, you’ll love it in a football stadium. They make the Challenge for the PPV. Vanguard1 arrives with his Inner Circle shirt and Jericho promos on him. They all circle Vanguard!1, who accepts for the Elite. Jericho still wants him in the Inner Circle, but then DESTROYS Vanguard1 with a bat as the Inner Circle lay the boots to him. Hager lays the little shirt on him and they all talk shit to the drone. Matt Hardy arrives and they run as he cradles the tattered remains on Vanguard1.

– NEXT WEEK: Fenix vs. Orange Cassidy, MJF vs. Marko Stunt, Arn Anderson & Jake Roberts will have an interview segment, Matt Hardy vs. Sammy Guevara, Jon Moxley vs. 10.

– The Stadium Stampede (Elite vs. Inner Circle, Baker vs. Statlander & Private Party vs. Best Friends, Shida vs. Rose (NO DQ, No Countout) have been added to the PPV; Mike Tyson will present the TNT championship to the winner at the PPV.

The Exalted One, Mr. Brodie Lee vs. Christopher Daniels: Kaz & Sky are at ringside, as are the Dark Order creepers. Lee has the AEW championship with him still from last week. Daniels attacks, get cut off and Lee follows with a powerslam. Lee dumps him and follows him out. He delivers chops, and uppercuts. Daniels battle back as Lee yells at SCU, and Daniels then follows with the suicide dive. The Arabian moonsault follows and back in, the slingshot elbow follows but Lee is up right away. He follows with the big boot, delivers chops and rakes the eyes. Lee follows with a backdrop and a back elbow. He talks more shit to SCU, and then just stomps on Daniels’ head. The black hole slam then connects for 2. Post break and Lee is still in control. The senton atomico and superkick connects for 2. Daniels manages to counter back into a DDT, he follows with strike and an enziguri. He follows with a RANA, a running elbow and heads up top. 10 distracts him, SCU attacks him and Le gets a chair, Daniels counters and levels him with it and follows with the koji clutch, SCU & Dark Order brawl, Colt joins in and Daniels hits angel’s wings for only 1. Lee fights back and Daniels counters back into the BME for 2. Daniels heads back up top and Lee counters into the powerbomb. The rolling lariat finishes it. The Exalted One, Mr. Brodie Lee defeated Christopher Daniels @ 12:40 via pin

– Mox arrives, takes out all the geeks and Lee throws them to Mox as hew powders, still in possession of the belt. Mox grabs the mic and says he will not be disrespected. Mr. Brodie lee has made a mistake, one he will pay for with interest. On May 23rd, there will be a hailstorm of violence, Mr. Lee will find that his AEW career is over before it started.