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Hey y’all! Mania was a blast! No one should ever spent the amount of money I did on alcohol, and yet here we are.

Also, I ran into this guy at Mania. Pretty cool dude, didn’t mention once that he was going to Mania. Wild.

An hour commercial free! Yay…

MOTÖRHEAD fills the former Staples Center and out comes The Hs! He’s suited and booted and ready to possibly give us a peak behind the curtain.

Triple H admits to being high as fuck. Or he’s on a high. Or something like that. He talks about the “161,000” fans (which is the same 80k each day), and the event that lived up to its name: The Grandest Stage of Them All. An event 40 years in the making, from one man’s vision at MSG to forty years later in LA, SoFi Stadium, packed, beyond his wildest expectations. He came out for just a moment to say thank you to every wrestler in the back, every performer that has stepped foot in the ring, they lay their bodies on the line for everyone weekly, and wanted to thank all of them. He thanks the staff and crew that make this entire thing possible. Everyone in the back, every member of the crew, even Stew on Camera.

STEW chant.

Stew gives a polite wave, and the crowd pops heavy.

He walked into SoFi and no matter how many times he saw the set being built, when he saw it in person, it took his breath away. They made the spectacle possible.

He also wants to thank the most important people – all of us. We make it possible for them to do what they love to do every day. He thanks us.

WWE is dominating the news and social media, and on this day, we come along to make the announcement everyone wants to talk about, but he is here to assure us that they are not going anywhere. The same WWE that we love, the same WWE that put 161,000 people in SoFi is going nowhere. The same WWE that we love, the superstars, the action, the drama, all of it…we are going nowhere. They will be here because they are the WWE.

Then. Now. Forever. Together.

He would like to ask us for one thing…he’d like to acknowledge one more person. 946 days…

Rise and welcome The Undisputed WWE Universal Champion Roman Reigns.

Roman Reigns is out to his music and a chorus of boos.

Triple H walks up the ramp, handshakes Roman, Heyman, then Solo.

Reigns is all smiles, with his belts in hand. He holds his title up with pride and makes his way to the ring.

Reigns pulls a 2022 and stands in the ring forever, listening to the haters, waiting for it all to die down. He is about to speak, and the boos come rising up again.

Reigns thinks we should do it like this tonight: “Hollywood, Acknowledge Me!”

This is cut off immediately by Cody Rhodes’ music.

Cody Rhodes comes out more formal than Triple H, holding his mid-section but still smiling.

Cody knows what he wants to talk about. He thought he’d be standing here the champion. He will acknowledge this: last night, Roman was the better competitor. This being a factor, he knows that Roman knows that he’s won a lot where he has skated by, but Roman was the victor. Last night, Cody had him. He has one word. That’s all he wants to talk about.

Crowd: “Rematch”

Cody: “Rematch”

Paul Heyman asks for the opportunity to speak. Roman hands him the mic. Heyman smirks villainously. Heyman was thinking, on behalf of Roman, when exactly would Cody like said hypothetical rematch?

Cody smiles big, then says TONIGHT.

Heyman says no. Not tonight, not in Puerto Rico, not at Summerslam, Survivor Series, the Rumble, MSG, San Fran, no, no, no, no, NO!

BULLSHIT chant.

Heyman says they call the shots because we live on the Island of Relevancy.

Cody asks Heyman if he thinks Cody is in a normal mood. He will not stand this chicanery. Let’s read between the lines, then. Reigns don’t want to do it here and now? He knows how tough Roman is. If he doesn’t want to do the rematch, then let’s at least do a tag match. He wants something here, and something now.

Heyman wants to speak to Roman for a moment. He whispers in his ear a bit, Reigns listens, Solo stares, Cody sulks.

Heyman speaks to the crowd and Cody. He has been authorized to inform Cody, Item #1, his challenge is accepted. Two conditions: If someone is dumb enough to tag with Cody, it better be someone that wrestled this weekend at Mania. Anyone who walks down to team with Cody will never get another title match against Reigns as long as he is champion.

As Heyman chuckles, the music of Brock Lesnar hits, and apparently Roman’s stipulation is already in effect with Brock, so he has zero fucks. He is all smiles, enters the ring, scares Heyman away a bit, then shakes Cody’s hand.

Methinks they are giving far too much credit to this moment and not nearly enough for Cody’s loss. I would certainly not be this happy after being cheated out of what I thought was destined for me…

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We come back to RAW for some in-ring action, roughly 35 minutes into the show, and it’s…Omos. lol.

Omos vs Elias

Omos drops Elias with ease. He lifts and drops again while MVP yells to “punish him.”

Scoop and body slam to Elias. Splash in the corner. Omos finishes Elias with ease in less than two minutes.

Winner: Omos
-yawn-
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: Less than two.

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Backstage, The Usos walk without titles. They knock on a door, and out comes Heyman. They want to come in, but Heyman says Reigns just stpped outside with Solo to talk about Cody and Brock. Heyman says they are getting a strategy together. Reigns says Mania was wonderful for some, their contributions were appreciated, the jet is fired up, and as soon as they beat Cody and Brock, he’ll meet them on the plane.

The Usos leave and Heyman enters the room to say he took care of it, meaning Reigns certainly did not leave the room.

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Cathy Kelly is near the barricade to talk to Bad Bunny to talk about Puerto Rico! He is just here to enjoy RAW like a fan, but cannot wait for them to come to PR.

Rey Mysterio’s music hits, and out comes the Hall of Famer!

Rey on the mic. He says what a week. He thanks the crowd as they chant that he deserves it. He wants to thank us, the fans, He also wants to thank Bad Bunny, but just as he is about to, Austin Theory’s music hits.

Austin Theory tells Rey that they deserve a little bit of respect. They were the only two who did exactly what they said they would at Mania. Rey beat the product of his own bad parenting, and Austin beat a legend. He beat the GOAT. The difference is Rey is too busy tryin to correct the past, and Theory is the champ. He calls the crowd “Tontos” lol.

This must be what Cena was talking about, the whole RAW after Mania eating him alive. Where is that? Gone. He is on top of the world, and he feels fine. He beat John Cena. He ain’t here. He’s a part-time. What bout Rey, though? He’s just like big John. Rey deserves a chant. He’s going to beat Rey’s ass and add him to the collection.

Rey tells Austin the only thing he’ll be collecting is his teeth after Rey hits him with the 619.

Looks like we doin it.

Rey Mysterio vs Austin Theory

Theory corners Mysterio. Ref breaks it at 3. Lockup. Rey backs Theory into the ropes. Theory with a shoulder tackle. We get a commercial break at…5:55.

We return from the break, and Theory has Rey on the mat, working the arm. Rights from Theory. Whip to the corner, Theory catches Rey, but Rey spins and hits a DDT. Kick from Rey. Drop toe hold to Theory. Rey to the top rope. Theory is up! Left othe head! He hits a few more, climbs the corner, locks up, tries for a superplex, but Rey fights him off. Rey with a seated senton, hits the ropes, springboard crossbody. Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Rey corners Austin, mounts and hits some punches. He hits 10, Theory leaves from under him, Rey shoves him into the opposite corner, mounts again,m and hits some more punches! He gets to 5 but Theory slinks under and hits the back. Torture Rack, he spins Rey and hits a powerbomb! Cover for 1..2.NO!!!! Theory calls to end it, gets the firemans, knees from Rey, he holds the roes, drops to the apron, high kick to the face of Theory, rana into the ropes and Rey hits them, gearing for the 619, but runs into a clothesline! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Theory to the apron. He dives through the ropes but Rey is waiting for him with a rana.

Rey hits the ropes for a 619, but DOMINIK is on the apron! He distracts, Rey tries for it, Theory catches Rey. A-Town Down! Cover for 1.2…3!!!

Winner: Austin Theory
Theory gets a win over a legend, Rey’s kid continues to be a thorn in his side, I suppose it works.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 9:03

Dominik Mysterio attacks Rey! He mounts and punches. Damien Priest is with him. Dom cheers, then sees Bad Bunny in the crowd. Dom tries to swing on him! BB blocks! He punches Dom! Damien Priest comes by and pulls Bad Bunny over the barricade!

Priest tells him he didn’t need to get involved. He tells him to back off. Bad Bunny hits Priest! Then Dom! Then turns! CLOTHESLINE FROM PRIEST!

Priest brings Bad Bunny over to the announce table. CHOKESLAM TO BAD BUNNY!!!

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We return to Corey Graves and that Kevin dude apologizing on behalf of the WWE.

Backstage, Adam Pearce is admonishing Damien Priest. Priest says if Bad Bunny wasn’t his friend, he’d have a reason to be angry.

So Priest just be chokeslamming his homies?

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Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn are here!!! Crowd chants that they deserve it, and Kevin agrees. He says we deserve it, too. OLE chant!

Sami says he’s had a crazy ear. From last year with Johnny Knoxville all the way to the main event of this year’s Mania, and he hasn’t been able to say this, he knows it’s corny, so he’ll say it once then move on…this wouldn’t be possible for him if it wasn’t for us.

Enough mushy stuff. He’s been coming to LA for a minute, and LA likes to celebrate. Owens says yeah, that sounds pretty good. He hopes they have the same kind of celebration in mind. Something bout being in LA and fighting with your heart out that seems like the perfect way to celebrate. There’s gotta be a lot of people in the locker room that wanna make a name for themselves against the new tag team champions. So if they want some, they are right there…

After a bit of a pause, The Street Profits are here…and they want the smoke!

They cheer the boys, telling them they deserve it. Truly. Ford says that there’s a but…they also were victors at Mania. Ya boy sent Braun flying. How bout they get down. How bout tonight, they get into some action.

The Street Profits vs Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn

We got Sami and Dawkins to start. Arm drags from Sami send Dawkins flying. Sami turns a third arm drag into a hold. Sami backs into his corner, and KO gets a tag. Whip to Dawkins, drop toe hold from Sami, running senton from KO. Another to Dawkins! He blows a kiss to Ford. Cover for 1.2..NO!! Another senton and another cover. 1! NO! KO locks the head. Tag from Sami. Elbow drop to the back. Sami with a forearm, a whip, Dawkins hosp over, blind tag from Ford, Ford with a flip over the rope onto Sami! Cover for 1…NO!!! Ford works the left arm,corners Sami, breaks the hold, kicks Sami. Strikes to the back ,whip to the corner, reversed, back body drop to Ford. Cover from Sami for 1..2.NO!!! Tag to KO. Kick from Kevin, he works the back, back breaker. KO stretches Ford across his knee. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Chin lock from behind, Ford to one knee. Knee to the back, KO with a back suplex, Ford lands on his feet, KO kicks, tries for a Stunner, but Ford slinks out of the ring then kicks the head. Tag to Dawkins. Right hand. Cover. 1..2…NO!!! Whip to KO, tag to Ford again, dropkick to KO, cover for 1.2..NO!!!

We are BACK and Dawkins hits a spinning clothesline in the corner. Enziguri. Tag to Ford. Ford goes up high, diving blockbuster off the shoulders of Dawkins. Cover for `1..2.NO!!! KO stops it! Sami up in the corner, locks up. EXPLODER INTO THE CORNER! Sami reaches for the tag. HE GETS IT! KO knocks Dawkins off the corner, cannonball to Ford! KO up top! He dies! SWANTON BOMB! Cover! 1..2…NO!!! Dawkins is there to stop it. In comes Sami, he gets sent right back out by Dawkins. Superkick to Dawkins! One from Ford to KO! Ford hits the ropes! He dives! Up and over onto Sami! Ford lands on his feet! He sends KO into the ring. To the top rope! Dives, roll through, STUNNER FROM KO!!!!

Ford is stunned tall! Sami shoves him into the coenr. HELLUVA KICK!!!! Cover! 1..2…3!!!

Winners: Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens
Pretty standard stuff with a hot ending. Ford continues to be an amazing athlete.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 13:12

Seth Rollins gets some time on the mic backstage with Cathy. He beat Logan Night One, how is he feelin?

Seth feels good. He is on cloud 9. He hit the stomp heard round the world and sent Logan Paul back to the Wasteland of Social Media. Something aint right, though. Something about tonight is missing. He cant quite put his finger on it. Wait a minute…he’s got it. The party isn’t back here, it’s out there.

Seth: “Hey Mr. DJ, play my song.”

Here he comes!

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After a break, we see Sami by the ring, conducting the crowd. He then…leaves?

LOLWTFCENAWINS

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Backstage, Bobby Lashley tells Cathy he has a lot of pent up frustration.

Here comes Bronson Reed who wants to call him Uncle Bobby. Maybe he can be Bobby’s pupil. He taught Bronson how to lose. Eventually, the pupil can school the teacher.

Lashley wonders if Reed wants a fight. Reed says he cant do tonight, but eventually, Bobby will learn his lesson.

Well that was disjointed.

Here comes Mustafa Ali telling Bobby he has gotten a lot of nos recently. Match at Mania? No. Match with Bronson? No. Lashley needs to think more positive-ALI. He should never take NO for an answer. Bobby should just take someone to the ring and maul them, right? Lashley tosses Ali towards gorilla then beats his way out to the ring.

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Bobby Lashley vs Mustafa Ali

I mean…do I really need to tell you what happened here? Lashley murders Ali twice.

Winner: Bobby Lashley

Total Rating: NR
Match Time: :33

Bianca Belair is here to make me audibly moan. She seems to have dropped her glasses on her way to the ring, wearing a nice black fit and holding her title high.

She is still the champion, and she cannot be the EST without stepping in the ring with the best and Asuka gave her a hell of a match. She wants to thank her for pushing Bianca to be the toughest that she can be. Now, she can proudly stand here and say, “We did it.”

The music of Rhea Ripley is here to interrupt. She has her big blue belt on her shoulder.

She says Bianca is really just the luckiest, because after she won the Rumble, she decided to challenge Flair instead of Bianca. She promises, though, that they will get back to this, and she will beat Bianca just like she beat Flair

Bianca considers this. So she’s lucky because Rhea didn’t choose her? Girl, she made her decision for a reason. Rhea is SD Champion, so stand on that and that alone. Like she said earlier, she’s all about getting in the ring with the best, and that includes Rhea. So one day, when Rhea is ready, we’ll really see who is the best of the best.

Rhea leaves the ring slowly, and heads towards the back as the music of Liv Morgan hits.

Liv Morgan and Raquel Rodriguez walk down the ramp. Raquel makes a point to stop and smile in Rhea’s face.

Liv Morgan and Raquel Rodriguez vs Dakota Kai and Iyo Sky

Raquel and Dakota to start. Kai tries for the flip kick, but Raquel locks her in a torture rack then spins around a few times. Kai drops down, is able to get her scorpion kick, tag from Liv, right hand to Kai. Kai with a running boot to the face. Liv with a backstabber. Kai gets a tag. Iyo eats a dropkick. Liv rushes the corner, Iyo with a dropkick. Iyo rushes, Liv holds the ropes, Iyo to the outside, Kai gets launched to the outside. Tag to Raquel. She powerbombs Liv over the top rope to the outside onto the girls.

We are back to Raquel doin damage. Fallaway Slam to Dakota, Senton off the top! Tag to Iyo. Her and Dakota try to double team but Rodriguez just lawn darts Kai into Iyo. She tries for a chokeslam but Iyo holds onto her.

Dakota gets launched into Iyo. Blind tag from Liv, chokeslam from Raquel! ObLIVion! Cover for 1..2…3!!!

Winner: Liv Morgan and Raquel Rodriguez
Well, most of that was during the commercial so…
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 6:52

Backstage, The Miz walks. He passes by Otis getting a haircut by Maxxine, who is also arguing with Chad Gable.

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The Miz is here to complain about having three matches at Mania. Pat McAfee, George Kittle, Shane McMahon,but he beat him so badly, Shane couldn’t even finish the match. And finally, Snoop cheap shots him. Mania is over, and he is done with surprises. There will be no more surprises…

BROOOOOOOOOO

Matt Riddle is here, and he’s got his scooter! Riddle is in trunks so he’s ready to go.

Riddle: “Surprise! Did you miss me?!”

Miz is over it. He attacks from behind. He removes his tie, and that gives Riddle enough time to get in on the attack. Ripcord knee, Bro Derek! He celebrates.

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Backstage, Trish Stratus, Lita, and Becky Lynch are talking with Saxton about beating Damage CTRL. Lita says her and Trish are just getting started here. Becky says now that this chapter has ended, they’d like to raise the prestige of these titles, and what better way to do it than to beat Liv and Raquel on RAW.

Becky and Lita leave, while Trish stays behind for juuuuust a little bit longer. Interesting.

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We get super special announcing for this match for no good reason. As Cody is announced, Brock Lesnar rushes up to him and hits an F5! He grabs Cody, hits ANOTHER F5! Brock stomps Cody. Boot to the neck of Cody. He lifts Cody up by the trunks then hits a German! He tosses Cody to the outside by the pants. Brock locks the head. SUPLEX OVER THE BARRICADE INTO THE TIMEKEEPERS AREA! Brock with the chair! He beats Cody with it, then grabs some steps. He smacks Cody with the steps, then tosses them into the ring with ease. Brock takes Cody into the ring. F5 onto the steps! Brock stands tall above Cody as agents come down to the ring with some refs to stop the madness. Brock leaves the ring slowly.

Refs and agents check on him, but Brock isn’t done. He runs to grab a chair. He enter the ring. Cody crawls. Chair shot across the back! Brock chokes Cody with the chair a bit then leaves the ring. He walks up the ramp to the back.

After some qwuick shots of shocked fans, we see Brock come back~!! He removes his gloves and gives us a double middle finger to officially…

End Show