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Well it’s Friday so it must be time for another episode of WWE Smackdown. This week they’re in my neck of the woods as we’re closing in on Elimination Chamber, and of course WrestleMania is looming large on the horizon. To that end the last set of Elimination Chamber qualifying matches will take place tonight, on the men’s side we’ve got Logan Paul against Miz and Kevin Owens vs. Dumb Dom while the women are fielding Naomi vs. Alba Fyre and Tiffany Stratton taking on Zelina Vega, Fyre subbing in for the recently injured Shotzi. The biggest thing tonight is that our Tribal Chief and Undisputed WWE Universal champion Roman Reigns will be here, along with some dude named Dwayne. Now that we know Cody and Roman is set for Mania The Rock needs to find something to do instead of snipe the main event slot, but there’s plenty of time for them to figure out something related to him. That’s all that’s been announced, and keep in mind that tonight is a double taping so I fully expect things to be a little slow tonight and next week. But with respect to other things to keep an eye out on, Dakota Kai is still playing nice with Bayley so we’ll see how long that lasts, The Final Testament and the Hurt Profits are still making noise but not doing much fighting, Pete Dunne and Tyler Bate earned a shot at the tag team titles so we’ll see if anything plays out related to that, but mostly for people still without stories for Mania they need to find something soon or be left off of the big show. Anyway that’s the preamble, let’s get to the action.

Corey Graves and Wade Barrett welcome us to the show and we see that The Rock arrived earlier today. First up, here’s Kevin Owens to head to the ring. He’s followed by Dominik Mysterio, who has a mic. Dom sounds like he’s drowned out by boos, nice audio work to pull that off and enhance his reaction though the timing was a little off at first. Anyway that schtick goes on too long while he tries to put over the Judgement Day.

Match #1 – Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Kevin Owens vs. Dominik Mysterio

They tie up, Owens with a side headlock then Dom transitions to one of his own. Dom tries a shoulder block but Owens ignores him then runs him over with a shoulder block of his own and Dom takes a powder. Back in the ring now Owens is just bemused by Dom and then runs him over again with a shoulder block. Arm drag from Owens then Dom begs off and powders yet again. Dom with another side headlock then some rope running and Dom hits a hurricanrana then arm drag and dropkick. Owens shrugs that off and clotheslines him down, then clotheslines him out of the ring. Dom resumes stalling then pulls Owens out of the ring for some brawling but Owens gets the best of things again. R-Truth shows up to distract Owens so Dom can land a baseball slide then sends Owens into the ring steps. Back in the ring Dom with a hilo and we head to break.

We come back to Dom working a chin lock. Owens fights free but gets caught with an Edge O-Matic for a 2 count. They trade some strikes then Dom blows a spot so Owens improvises with a short arm lariat. Owens with headbutts then stomps against the ropes and Dom takes another powder but this time Owens follows him and lays him out with another clothesline then a senton on the floor. Back in the ring Owens wants a cannonball senton and hits it. Owens goes up top, Frog Splash for a near fall. Dom avoids a pop up powerbomb and hits a sloppy X-Factor for a 2 count. Next Dom tries the 3 Amigos but he only gets 2 before Owens counters with his own 3 Amigos, again only 2 before Dom hits a DDT. Now it’s Dom’s turn to go up top but Owens avoids a Frog Splash then Owens up top for Swanton Bomb but again only a near fall as everyone has to pretend to be surprised. Has Owens actually gotten a pin off of that move in the last 4 years? Anyway Dom hits the 916 but only 2. Dom asks Truth for a chair, tells him he’s in Judgement Day if he’ll get the chair. Truth, bless him, finds a chair but just sets it up and sits in it. This all allows Owens to hit a superkick followed by a pop up powerbomb and that’ll do it.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Kevin Owens won in 14:11

Rating: 3 stars
Thoughts: Fine enough, Owens is kind of the model of consistency and this was no exception. If there’s a knock to be had here, a few execution issues and of course the predictable outcome. Dom’s growing but he wasn’t going into the Chamber this year.

Post match Truth celebrates with a slightly confused Owens.

In the back Kayla talks with Drew McIntyre. Drew doesn’t care about the Chamber match in general, he’s the only one who needs to win in the Chamber. He continues whining but here’s LA Knight to interrupt him. Knight promises to steal Drew’s moment once again in the Chamber. Drew sees through the act of Knight, the people will turn on him for no reason if he doesn’t get results. Knight brings up that Drew hasn’t been champion of anything since Knight’s been here and he’s sure there’s room on that tombstone on Drew’s shirt to put DM Hunk right by CM Punk and bury his dreams as well. People come up to separate them.

We see Roman’s arrival and he greets his Bloodline, then says they’re going to fix everything Jey messed up.

Zelina Vega heads to the ring, she’ll take on Tiffany Stratton after this break.

Post break we see Logan Paul’s arrival earlier today.

Kayla talks with Tyler Bate and Pete Dunne, things are going great for Dunne in the team, and the bruiserweight and big strong boy will walk out of Perth with the tag team titles. Bate agrees, and thinks they need a tag team name. He floats New Catch Republic, Dunne seems non-plussed and here’s Dom for some reason. They challenge him and R-Truth to a match next week and Dom storms off loudly claiming that Truth isn’t in Judgement Day. That felt awkward and forced as a segment.

Vega waits in the ring and here comes Tiffany Stratton.

Match #2 – Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Zelina Vega vs. Tiffany Stratton

Stratton easily overpowers Vega first but Vega then trips her up and sends her to the apron then kicks her down. Vega, rocking some Goku inspired gear, with some offense on the floor then she climbs the ropes for a second rope moonsault that connects to the floor. We see Legado del Fantasma of Santos Escobar, Elektra Lopez, Angel, and apparently now going by Berto sitting ringside as we head to break.

Vega and Stratton are trading as we come back, and Carlito heads down to the ring with Joaquin Wilde and Cruz del Toro. Stratton is able to hit her cartwheel Alabama slam but Vega stops a Pretties Moonsault Ever then hits a Meteora for a 2 count. They head out of the ring and brawl then Stratton and Vega fight near Legado’s position which means Elektra trash talks Vega who then pulls her over the barricade and tosses her back into the crowd. Vega gets kicked coming back into the ring then eats a spinebuster and the Prettiest Moonsault Ever for the win.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Tiffany Stratton won in 8:35

Rating: 2.5 stars
Thoughts: The distraction between the LWO and Legado del Fantasma dragged this down a bit, but Vega is a decent hand and Stratton seems to really be finding herself on the main roster.

In the back the OC find AJ Styles. AJ and Karl Anderson get into a shoving match after Karl accuses AJ of forgetting where he came from. AJ invites him to a fight and then walks off.

The Final Testament prepare in the back, the Authors of Pain will squash some poor jobbers after this break.

Post break Iyo Sky, Kairi Sane, and Asuka have a video. They dismiss Bayley’s contributions to Damage Control, and Iyo warns that she’s not the same person Bayley brought in. Iyo will embarrass Bayley at Mania. Oh, and if she trusts Dakota Kai she’s even dumber than she looks. They close with no one being ready for Damage Control.

Match #3 – Tag Team Match: Authors of Pain (Akam and Rezar) w/ Paul Ellering, Karrion Kross and Scarlett vs. Javier Bernal and Beau Morris

Akam crushes Bernal right away. Rezar tags in and Morris gets clubbed for good measure then brought into the ring. Rezar clubs on both men then tags in Akam and they hit a Super Collider. To close a suplex into a powerbomb and that’ll do it.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Authors of Pain won in :59

Rating: Winterhorn. . . SQUASH
Thoughts: Delicious squash.

In the back Logan Paul talks with Byron Saxton, Logan says we’re welcome for his first live action television match. He would like gratitude and plans on knocking out the Miz. Logan is the only champion in the qualifying series, he plans on winning, winning in the Chamber, then beating Seth Rollins in a rematch at Mania to become a double champion. That match will be up after this break.

Post break we get a recap of RAW, focusing on Cody’s promo as well as the only decent promo Seth Rollins has ever cut.

To the ring and here comes Miz with his stupid twirl and point. Can’t believe I’m rooting for Logan Paul but here we are. Logan actually got some more mixed reaction, odd.

Match #4 – Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Logan Paul vs. Miz

They tie up and Logan backs Miz into a corner and pokes him. Miz hits a shoulder block then some rope running but Miz lands a Manhattan Drop then a chop. Logan gets sent to the apron but he heads up top and hits a crossbody then badly misses a moonsault as he just landed on Miz’s knees even though Miz didn’t get them up to block. Some leg work from Miz now to try and recover the match. OK, there’s the “Logan sucks” chants. Logan fights back with a Finlay Roll then lands some uppercuts and poses before hitting a split leg drop for a 2 count. Chops from Logan but Miz counters and lands chops of his own. Some kicks from Miz then a corner clothesline. Miz gets bounced into the ring post then Logan with a triangle clothesline followed by a splash on the apron to send us to break.

Both men are down as we come back. Miz blocks some punches then lands some clotheslines. Miz with a Flatliner and a near fall. Miz wants his finish, Logan blocks it then lands a boot but gets caught out of the corner with a Codebreaker for another near fall. Credit where it’s due, Logan’s gotten quite good at those near falls. Miz with some kicks but he misses a Buzzsaw kick. Roundhouse kick from Miz then he attacks the leg of Logan with a knee drop. Leg kicks from Miz, the ref gets distracted and Logan with a shot to the eyes then a Paul Crushing Finale and a near fall. Logan wants the Power of the Punch but Miz avoids it. They trade roll ups then Miz with a Figure Four leg lock, Logan scoots to the ropes and breaks the hold. Logan heads out of the ring but Miz follows him only to get slammed into the ring apron. Next Logan gets brass knux but Miz attacks him on the floor then picks up the knux and considers using them but the ref warns him so Miz tosses them aside. Back in the ring Miz gets crotched on the middle rope, Power of the Punch then an STO and Logan gets the win.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Logan Paul won in 12:45

Rating: 3 stars
Thoughts: It’s really amazing how good Logan Paul is at this, a few awkward spots early aside. Miz is just Miz.

In the back we see Jade and Bron Breakker considering contracts, then Tiffany Stratton comes in and talks at Bianca Belair and Liv Morgan. Jade objects to this happening while she’s about to sign and Nick Aldis has to play peacemaker. Aldis takes the contracts and heads out, followed by Bron and Jade.

Only one match left, and out comes Naomi with new music. After this break she’ll lock up with Alba Fyre.

Post break commentary runs down next weeks Smackdown.

In the back we see Paul Heyman talking about things with Grayson Waller. Waller really should turn on Theory, Theory needs something new and honestly a face turn might help him find his voice.

Back to the ring and here comes Alba Fyre.

Match #5 – Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Naomi vs. Alba Fyre w/ Isla Dawn

They tie up then Fyre slams Naomi down. Some corner work from Fyre then Dawn gets in some cheap shots. Naomi fights back with a head kick then a very awkward spot before Naomi lands a slap. People’s Leg Drop from Naomi gets 2 then Fyre heads out of the ring. Naomi follows and gets distracted by Dawn, but Naomi recovers and bulldogs Fyre onto the ring steps as we head to break.

We come back as Naomi lands a back elbow. Fyre misses a corner attack and Naomi lands a clothesline then a head scissors. Dropkick from Naomi then a spinning bulldog for a 2 count. Naomi heads up top and hits a crossbody for a 2 count. Fyre blocks a Bubba Bomb then hits a facebuster for a 2 count. Naomi with an O’Connor Roll but only 2 and Dawn with a cheap shot on the kick out then Fyre with a school boy for 2. Naomi avoids a Gory Special and lands a knee to the head, then enziguri’s Dawn for good measure. Spike head scissors from Naomi then into a modified Rings of Saturn to get the tap.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Naomi won in 8:45

Rating: 2 stars
Thoughts: This was a little disjointed, I get that they had to put this together pretty recently so I’m willing to cut them some slack but this never really got going. Still, far from bad.

In the back Bayley walks and finds Dakota Kai. Kai is nervous and knows that Damage Control will come after her. Bayley saw the promo and appreciates Kai, but isn’t sure she can trust her. Kai tries to plead her case but Bayley isn’t hearing it and wont deal with her stuff right now.

Nick Aldis is on the entrance stage and announces that one of the people he’s negotiated with is no longer a free agent, Bron Breakker is now part of Smackdown. Bron heads out and does sign the Smackdown contract. Well I guess that all but confirms that Jade is headed to RAW.

In the back we see Roman and the Bloodline minus Rock walking, they’ll make their entrance after this break.

Post break we get told that next week the Street Profits will fight the Authors of Pain and Bron Breakker makes his Smackdown debut. Plus LA Knight vs. Drew McIntyre in addition to everything announced earlier.

To the ring, here comes Roman Reigns with Bloodline in tow. Per usual they take their time, but with 15 minutes left for the broadcast I don’t blame them. Roman gets a mic from Heyman and provides Salt Lake City the chance to acknowledge him, which they do. He wants to be honest with all of us, the people of Utah are idiots. Not individually, but collectively, and he really doesn’t want us to ruin his cousin coming out. This isn’t about catchphrases, everything they say has purpose and matters. Tonight is history, the greatest night in the history of WWE and you know he wanted to say in the history of our great sport. “Cody” chants and Roman calls him the guy who ruined everything. Tonight is about history, the first night we can say The Rock is a member of The Bloodline. Heyman gets the mic and that’s the cue for Rocky to head to the ring. Big ovation for Rocky who’s out sporting a vest and shows off his goosebumps. Rock walks and we get a commercial break.

Rock in a nice blend of Hollywood Rock and People’s Champion is in the ring when we come back. He’s got a mic and he’s got good news for everyone, tonight everyone has broken the attendance record for the entire state of Utah, specifically for the largest gathering of trailer park trash The Rock has ever seen. If you didn’t like that then you’ll love this, “Finally,” that gets booed and he asks if we’re sure we want to boo the Rock. Apparently they are. Well finally our lives have meaning, you can tell your 600 inbred grandkids that you saw greatness because finally the Rock has come back to Salt Lake City. Decent “Rocky” chant breaks out but he ignores it and warns us that we’ve brought out a side of the Rock that hasn’t been seen in years, but a part of him that’s always been here. We’re seeing it tonight because the biggest WrestleMania main event was tossed away by us. We could have had Rock vs. Roman but we flushed it down the toilet but tweeting for Cody while seated on the toilet. Well The Rock has a question for us all, what is Cody’s story? Roman beat Cody’s ass last year and a year later Cody wants a rematch? That’s the story? That’s some stupid logic, let’s just try applying it anywhere else in sports. The 49ers just lost the Super Bowl, they didn’t get to come out and campaign for a story finisher, they moved on like men. Everyone around the state should understand that, Michael Jordan crushed the dreams of the Jazz more than once, the Jazz took the beating like men and moved on. The real world doesn’t work like this, you don’t get another story just because you want one. Spoiled entitled little crybaby bitches don’t get that though. The Rock will do everything to make sure Cody walks out of Mania as a loser, Cody’s story is ending while the Bloodline is just beginning. He goes to close but tells us we can’t do the “If ya smell” thing with him, because this is what the Bloodline is cookin’. That ends the show. Heel Rock being back is so refreshing, and bless him for reading the tea leaves and just leaning into it full force.