wrestling / Columns

No Laughing Matter: Wrestling’s Comedy Usually Misses the Mark

October 24, 2015 | Posted by Dino Zee

Being a fan of wrestling, I’ve repeated my mantra of “It’s all stupid/silly” in nearly every column I’ve written these last couple of years. It’s a very important piece of the fandom puzzle, in my estimation, as it keeps me (us) grounded in the knowledge that we’re not watching groundbreaking, important television. We’re watching a program designed to entertain, whether it’s a wrestling-heavy presentation, or whether it’s loaded with sports entertainment. As the business marks will point out, at the end of the day, the most important thing is getting eyeballs, because eyeballs equal ratings and money.

This is why, every so often (or quite frequently, if you’re watching WWE), we’ll often be handed a comedy segment that, for all intents and purposes, just isn’t that funny. And, sadly, it will go on way longer than it ever should have, because damn it, we have time to fill!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-X8RCDRmllw

I hate to do it, because I know the hate he gets, and I am faaaaaaar from being a John Cena hater, but if there is one area that he’s not so hot at, it’s comedy. And yet, Cena is probably featured in more comedic segments than anyone on the roster, even comedic wrestlers. Whether it’s dick jokes, pepperoni nipple jokes, JBL is Poopy, or horrible photoshop skits, Cena is always right there, in the middle of the muck, telling joke after joke that only the kids find funny.

And I’m not going to fault solely Cena for this. We are all aware that, even with some say in your character, everyone still basically has to do what they’re told, especially in WWE. I’m sure Cena could speak up, but if he doesn’t, he’s simply doing his job, and I’m not going to hold that over his head. It just so happens that WWE frequently chooses him for the stupid skits, because he’s basically bulletproof and will be able to – pardon me for this – rise above the dreck.

The problem, for me, isn’t that John Cena isn’t funny. I know that, given the right stuff to work with, he can be entertaining. He can make me laugh. He’s dropped lines that got me, there’s no doubt. However, in my opinion, the problem is we have skits that are written in the hopes that they’re funny; nothing is organic anymore. There aren’t guys who just happen to have great comedic timing going out there and showing off their gift. We don’t get offshoot moments that turn into something bigger.

Instead, we get five minute, ten minute, sometimes twenty minute segments that are, in theory, hilarious. And when, after three minutes, we the fans have realized that this isn’t going to be good? Well, sit tight, because there’s still two minutes, seven minutes, or even thirteen more minutes of this gold coming our way.

Anyone can simply put “comedy” on their show, this much we know. But what about trying to have good comedy?

My markdom for Santino has been well documented in my columns, but there’s a reason I was a fan of his: he was always entertaining. When he stole Jerry Lawler’s sandwich years ago on Raw, I died. His “You lose!” was just so perfectly timed. He didn’t have to come out and cut an interview that dragged on and on, he simply knew the right time to make the right comment, and just like that, he was gold.

The big difference between Cena and Santino’s comedy? For Cena, we’re basically told “Hey look, he’s funny!” whereas with Santino, we the fans were allowed to organically react to what he said, and decide for ourselves whether that was funny or not. Santino didn’t deliver a line and then crack a cheeseball smile into the hard cam. He didn’t have Cole giving fake chuckles to every horrible joke he cracked, either. We were allowed, like adults, to decide that Santino is funny.

Obviously, Santino’s just an example, and I’m sure there’s more than one contrarian who will tell me that they never found Santino funny, and that’s fine. It doesn’t detract from the overall point, in my opinion.

What if, instead of writing out long comedy segments, what if we just wrote out a regular segment, and let the guys add little things here and there as they saw fit? What if we got rid of skits that involve a superstar repeatedly showing us the Titan Tron, because it’s got pictures of his upcoming opponent’s face plastered onto a monkey? Or a woman? Or a baby? Or a – I gotta stop, this is way too hilarious.

The point is, comedy isn’t something you can just force. There’s a reason not everyone hops on a stage and recites jokes they’ve heard, and that’s because comedy is more than simply the joke. It’s hard to explain, but I’d like to assume most of you (if not all) can understand what I’m getting at. I’m hardly some comedy czar, but I know that timing, delivery, tone of voice, and setting can all help or hurt a joke. When we have to constantly wait for a punchline to be delivered via photo or video on the Titan Tron, the timing of the joke has already been shot in the back of the head. That’s probably the biggest problem with John Cena Comedy: entirely too much halts in the action.

And this isn’t to say that every skit that WWE has written has been bad. That’s also just not true. But more often than not, the good ones are kept short, while the bad ones go on far too long. This is also true in other companies – I don’t mean to make this sound like a WWE problem – but WWE is the company with enough time to waste multiple segments on bad comedy. TNA doesn’t have that luxury, so even when they deliver bad comedy, it’s usually over fast enough, and it’s the only one on the show.

In the end, the bad comedy, for me personally, only serves to take me out of the experience. My disbelief cannot be suspended as easily when I hear the announcers hit me with their fake laughter, as if Cena hinting that yet another opponent may like dudes more than chicks is somehow the ultimate display of hilarity. It’s jarring, much like it’s jarring when any wrestler tries something that he maybe shouldn’t be trying. Sure, sometimes you get that rad Kane vs. Big Show match where they chain wrestled forever (a personal fave), but other times, you end up with Brock Lesnar doing a Shooting Star onto his face. Again, it’s not about whether one can do something, it’s about whether one should.

That attitude should absolutely apply to writing staffs. You’re supposed to be entertaining us. We’re here to be entertained. We want to be entertained. And when we are entertained, we’re happy about it. When we have to sit through forced comedy on the regular, especially during a three hour Raw that already drives everyone crazy, it only makes us crazier.

But what’s the answer? That’s the tricky part. Clearly, saying “Give us good comedy” is a bit lazy. But that’s basically it, isn’t it? Give us good comedy. Give us less comedic skits. Make it something special when we’re sitting through a comedy skit. Put weird people in weird situations, and have them react to that. Hell, maybe let one of Cena’s targets hit him with a good comeback. I’d have to assume that on a loaded roster, there’s got to be at least five guys with some crazy comedic timing. Hell, the New Day alone shows three of the guys who know how to keep things funny while still maintaining a sense of legitimacy, and without making complete idiots out of themselves.

Instead of using comedy to make people laughing stocks, it’d be a great change to see comedy used to show us that some of the guys are funnier than the others. Santino was a master of using his comedy to make himself look goofy, while also goofing on his opponent. But at no time did a Santino opponent lose all momentum because of one Santino promo. That’s good comedy.

I only harp on this because it’s clear that the comedy isn’t going anywhere. Since that’s the case, I can only hope that one day, someone will wake up and realize that what we’re getting now, most of the time, just isn’t that funny.

If it strikes you, feel free to share your favorite funny moments, least favorite bad comedy, or even your thoughts on comedy in wrestling period. I’ll just throw this out there now – I’m not a huge Colt Cabana fan, but I’m sure he’ll get a mention.