Shore’s Stream Video Review: WWF SURVIVOR SERIES 1996

Shore’s Stream Video Reviews

WWF SURVIVOR SERIES 1996
Coliseum Video, Tape # WF165, 3 hours

Before I start, let me introduce myself. My name is Shore, I have been a wrestling fan since the day after the first WrestleMania. I have watched pretty much non-stop since, and have amassed quite a collection of tapes, so I thought I’d start reviewing them for you lovely folks who read 411. My reviewing style is more stream-of-conscious, as I write stuff as it happens, but I don’t want to give you too much, because I want you to draw your own conclusions whether or not to get the tape for yourself.

Confused? Start reading, hopefully that’ll clear everything up.

Commercials lead us off! Let’s advertise the 1997 Royal Rumble, and Heartbreak Express tapes. Not to mention Karate Fighters, which are still popular today. Aren’t they?

WWF. For over 50 years, the revolutionary force in Sports Entertainment.

It’s November 17, and we are led in by Michael Cole-before-he-was-Michael Cole, Todd Pettengill, gives us a voice over because we’re in New York City, the single most overrated spot on Earth! Apparently, the WWF being in town was a huge event, including a Hall of Fame induction ceremony. Todd also tells us what matches to expect tonight, how thoughtful of him.

Vince McMahon, Jerry The King Lawler, and Jim Ross are our hosts for the evening. Vince is of course the seminal play-by-play guy (and color when King is gone), The King is the evil heel color commentator, and JR is fresh off his heel turn, feeling he was fired for developing Bell’s Palsy, and is the OTHER play-by-play guy. Because you need at least one who knows what he is talking about. And here’s our first match:
——————————–
ELIMINATION MATCH

The Participants:
The New Rockers (Marty Jannetty and Leif Cassidy)
Tag Team Champion Owen Hart
Tag Team Champion British Bulldog Davey Boy Smith

vs.

The Godwinns (Henry O. Godwinn and Phinneas I. Godwinn)
Doug Furnas
Phil LaFon

Background: The New Rockers were formed when on-and-off-again WWF wrestler Marty Jannetty (his employment status always in limbo for undisclosed personal reasons *coughmassiveamountsofcocainecough*) wanted to find someone better than his old partner Shawn Michaels. And he found Leif Cassidy (named after 70’s stars Leif Garrett and David Cassidy), whom you might know better as Al Snow. Wow, I just caught the irony of Marty teaming with someone with the last name Snow.

Owen Hart and The British Bulldog are tag team champs, having beaten the Smoking Gunns for the belts back in September. They are managed by lawyer Clarence Mason, who had Jim Cornette sign over their contracts to him while he was concussed.

The Godwinns are former tag team champions managed by Hillbilly Jim, and are insanely popular, according to the only person over 10 years old cheering them, Vince McMahon. It should be noted that both are standard brawlers, although either could wrestle if given a chance. But of course, Vince just wanted them to be punch/kick guys.

The exact opposite of that is Doug Furnas and Phil Lafon. Previously in All-Japan as Furnas and Dan Kroffat (Lafon wrestled under that name in honor of his trainer, the real Dan Kroffat), Vince signed them to bring a little something different to the WWF: a stiffer style of wrestling. Of course, the only tag team that could hang with that style was the tag team champs, Owen and Davey.

The Godwinns were feuding with Davey Boy and Owen at the time, the Rockers were just kinda there, and this is Furnas and Lafon’s debut.

The Match: Owen has won Slammys, you know. Oh, Phil is from Quebec, so of course Vince says he’s from Paris when JR mentions that. Because you can’t have face Quebecois! Godwinns are gigantic compared to everyone else in this match, including Bulldog. JR insults Vince the entire match, haha. I think Marty isn’t entirely here… he’s supposed to be a little goofy, but he’s acting real weird. And then he blows out his knee on a 360 clothesline sell! I take it back, looks like Leif can hang with Furnas and Lafon too. Damn, anytime Marty tries anything he collapses. And stupid Henry, seeing his knee in that condition… tries to throw him in the ropes. Moron. Wow, 3 eliminations within 2 minutes! Bulldog ducks an awesome dropkick, but was supposed to get hit (he thought it was going to be a leapfrog), but he recovers well. NICE suplex by Leif. OH! What a missile dropkick by Owen! You think they’d let the new guys get some offense in. Nice suplex by Owen, now. Bulldog rules. WOW! What a finisher by Lafon!!!!!!!! Hey, the Rob Zombie looking fan from ECW is there! That Vladimir guy, too. NOW he hits that dropkick! And a HUGE belly-to-belly! OH! The belly-to-back!

The Winners: Doug Furnas and Phil Lafon.

Aftermath: New Rockers went on to do nothing, Godwinns went heel and became Southern Justice before Henry had to retire because of his neck, Owen and Davey Boy would go on to join the new Hart Foundation, and Furnas and Lafon were horribly misused before becoming ECW tag champs for 1 day. Their current whereabouts? Gavin Napier probably knows.
———–
Woo-hoo, a COLISEUM VIDEO EXCLUSIVE~! Kevin Kelly interviews a debuting Rocky Maivia. You know this is from ages ago since Kelly takes no abuse from Rocky. And, well, has a job. If Rocky let his hair out, he’d have a Carlito-esque afro. Rocky acting humble… wow.

Following that, an external shot of stinky ol’ Manhattan

Speaking of stinky, in the bowels of MSG, it’s Kelly interviewing Paul Bearer and Mankind in the dark. Paul is hilarious. And Mankind is… Mankind, of course. He hopes Undertaker has a nice day.
—————
PAUL BEARER IN A CAGE ABOVE THE RING

The Participants:
Mankind

vs.

The Undertaker

Background: Paul Bearer turned on the Undertaker at SummerSlam to join up with Mankind. Mankind has actually beaten the Undertaker a few times, one of the rare people to do so. Of course, he’s done it with Uncle Paul’s help. So now they’re battling again, but with Paul high above the action.

The Match: Speaking of high above the action, Undertaker comes down in a new outfit from the rafters! Damn, that’s some strong wires holding Paul over the ring. Wow, actual WRESTLING by Taker! Fighting in the fans? ECW!!! Cage Cam! I’d probably get sick being up there, so credit to Bearer. Rockin’ piledriver by Mick! Match is kinda slow, wanna guess whom is responsible for that? I wonder what x-rays and MRIs of Foley’s back would look like. What the hell is that foreign object? Well, that was kinda outta nowhere. Hey, that Executioner looks like he would hang out with Dok Hendrix!

The Winner: Undertaker. I’m as shocked as you.

Aftermath: Undertaker would go on to battle The Executioner before finally winning his 2nd world title at WrestleMania 13. Mankind would go on to have a tag team with old nemesis Vader and later Kane, and I’m sure he did a few things after that, too…
———————-
A very horribly done edit brings us the sounds of “I Know You Want Me”, which can only mean The Hottest Woman in the World and Most Downloaded Celebrity, Sunny! She joins Vince and JR on commentary. Wow, it really is amazing and heartbreaking when you consider how popular and smokin’ hot she was that she became what she did. Drugs are bad, mmmkay? Vince, NEVER try to dance!

And hey, speaking of Dok Hendrix, he’s talking to good ol’ HHH’s team. And as usual, HHH is the first to talk. At least he doesn’t take 2 hours this time.
————-
ELIMINATION MATCH

The Participants:
Crush
Goldust
Jerry The King Lawler
InterContinental Champ Hunter Hearst Helmsley

vs.

The Stalker Barry Windham
The Wildman Marc Mero
Rocky Maivia
Jake The Snake Roberts

Background: With the help of Mr. Perfect, HHH had won the IC title from Mero. But right before this event, Perfect bailed for WCW when an internal memo got to Perfect’s insurance company, saying his back injury was BS. Barry has been stalking Goldust for no definable reason, other than he was getting into Dust’s head instead of the other way around, which no one else had done. Jerry had been feuding with everyone’s favorite wrestler Mark Henry, but an injury forced him out, so they brought back Jerry’s other feud, Jake the Snake. Rocky Maivia was debuting, and Crush had nothing else to do. Now you’re all up to speed.

The Match: I just want to mark out over two of my all-time favorite wrestlers, Jake and Barry, being on the same team. *marks* Ok, that’s outta my system now. Marlena and her cigar are there with Goldie. Wow, HHH is small. Mero is accompanied by Sunny’s favorite Diva, Sable. Rocky makes his debut to cheers from kids, silence from all others. Mero talks like Paul Stanley from KISS here. Jake bring Lucifer, who is just a freaking HUGE yellow snake. Sunny gets in a good line on Jake. “Burger King” chants abound. OK, too much stalling, let’s get moving. HHH seems afraid of Mero. Rocky with a dropkick??? That’s something I haven’t seen from him since. This is kinda boring so far. First elimination is to the shock of no one. Vince compared Barry’s punches to Mike Tyson… um, no. Sunny DESTROYS one of JR’s BS statements, good for her. H-H-H does the J-O-B!!! Ow, that looked painful. Smart move by Goldust. Heart Punch is the gayest finisher EVER. It eliminates TWO GUYS??? “Rocky” chants by the 10 year olds. Haha, you can’t trust Crush! Oh, baloney!

The Winner: Rocky Maivia. That’s right, NOT Hunter.

Aftermath: Stalker would form the New Blackjacks with Bradshaw, Jake would go on to be fired and headline… *shudder*… Heroes of Wrestling, Mero would go on to get a boxing gimmick and feud with Sable for 10 years, Crush would join the Nation of Domination (Version 1), Goldust would turn face and feud with HHH and Brian Pillman, Jerry Lawler would go on to shout about PUPPIES!!! at every given opportunity, and no one knows what ever happened to Rocky or Hunter.
————————–
A Coliseum exclusive as the Rocky blowjob continues as he is again interviewed by Kevin Kelly.

A video recollection of the Bret Hart-Steve Austin feud.

Todd Pettengill interviews Stone Cold, then the Hitman.
—————-

The Participants:
Stone Cold Steve Austin

vs.

Bret The Hitman Hart

Background: Bret Hart pretty much left the WWF stage after losing to Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania. Meanwhile, The Ringmaster dumped his manager Ted DiBiase, and became plain ol’ Stone Cold Steve Austin. He beat Jake the Snake in the finals of the King of the Ring, and we learned of Austin 3:16. He then started calling out Bret at every opportunity. Finally, Bret made a triumphant return, part of which was done purely to shut Austin up. But could he stop the hottest property in the business?

The Match: Fans love Bret. He was pretty cool at the time. But Austin was to be the wave of the future. Oooh, double bird to Bret. JR starts the set up for the famous rematch only a couple of mins into the match. See, this is what wrestling needs: WRESTLING. HUGE stun gun and follow up! Ooh, I’d say 33% cheers for Austin after he whups on Bret. Bret now saying “funk dat” and takes command. Oh, but not for long. They broke the security railing, NICE!!! Yeah, Bret getting all badass! But Austin’s head misses by a mile, oh well. Bret takes out Carlos Cabrera and Hugo Savinovich, long time Spanish Announcers!!! Ooh hoo, wow, nice one by Austin. He’s getting a lot more boos now, too. Wow, some HUGE “Let’s Go Austin” chants drown out the “Let’s Go Bret” chants!!!! OH! Stun Gun to Austin! Hey, a Hart who can do a piledriver to Austin without paralyzing him, that’s nice! HUMONGOUS superplex! Bret with wherewithal! No kick or wham, but a stunner! See, you need the kick and wham to get the pin, Steve! Bret taps? Oh yeah, tapping doesn’t end it back then. OH! That would hurt like hell too! Hey, novel ending! Great match! Bret Hart is metal? A Sabu Fears Taz sign, ROCK! Some woman dressed as Goldust too! All these people musta been on the camera side. Vince and Bret shake hands, a year later that would NOT be happening.

The Winner: Bret Hart.

Aftermath: Stone Cold would NOT take this loss sitting down. He would continue feuding with Bret for another few months until the ultra-famous, ultra-great WrestleMania 13 re-match. Meanwhile, Bret would win the World Title and lose it because of Austin, further setting up WM13.
——————-
Dok in the back with my man Sid. Yeah, that’s right, I admit it. I am a HUGE Sid fan! Sid RULES!!!!!!!!! Deal with it.

Captain Lou Albano, new Hall of Famer (intro’d by Joe Franklin, too!), comes out to greet the crowd.
————–

ELIMINATION MATCH

Faarooq
Razor Ramon (sorta)
Diesel (sorta)
Vader

vs.

Savio Vega
Yokozuna
Flash Funk
Jimmy Superfly Snuka

Background: Whoooooooooooooweeeeeeeeeeeee, where to start? OK, Savio has been midcardding, but for some reason Vince thought he was over so he kept getting pushed down our throats. You might know Flash better as Too Cold Scorpio from WCW and ECW. He is debuting here with the Funkettes, a couple of dancers. Apparently, he’s a dancing pimp. Snuka is here because he had some great success in the past at MSG, had just been inducted into the Hall of Fame, and most of all, to screw with the fans, since it was announced the faces would have a Mystery Partner, and the world was convinced it was someone from ECW (whom they were “feuding” with). Yokozuna makes his first appearance in months here, he had been feuding on and off with Vader. Vader was actually supposed to be in the main event, but Vince confidant JJ Dillon (Yes, THAT JJ Dillon) had defected to WCW months earlier, so Vince scrapped all his plans since JJ could tell WCW the future storylines. Razor and Diesel are the Fake ones brought in by Jim Ross to show it was the character, not the people playing them, that was over. He musta been drunk. Razor is Big Titan, a gaijin from Japan, and Diesel is a certain dentist/necrophiliac you all know and love. Faarooq, who had been managed by Sunny as Faarooq Asad as a sorta Roman Gladiator, has gone all Black Panther and looking like Jim Brown. Seriously, he looks JUST like him here. He has been feuding with Ahmed Johnson (as he would be all of Ahmed’s career), but Ahmed was hurt (as he would be all of Ahmed’s career), prompting the need for a Mystery Partner to begin with.

The Match: Vader comes down with Jim Cornette, who joins in on commentary. Faarooq comes down with Clarence Mason and PG-13, who were rapping white boys long before Cena (though after PN News). Funk gets an ECW chant with a moonsault to the outside. Yoko couldn’t get Vader up for a Rock Bottom, it was ugly. Savio is from the South Bronx? I know he’s Puerto Rican, but can’t they just say that he’s from Puerto Rico, since he, you know, is? I always kinda liked Savio, he’s just boring as a face. Cornette is hilarious on commentary. Damn, Snuka’s in great shape for an old, old man. HE SLAMS VADER??? Wow. Wow, and a Superfly Splash! Uh-oh, it’s a schmozz! Fans go nuts. Until the verdict comes in.

The Winners: Double DQ for everyone not already eliminated, so no winners.

Aftermath: Faarooq would go on to form the Nation of Domination (Version 1). Savio would go on to join it. Snuka went back to the indies. Razor would disappear. Diesel realized his bloodline, donned a mask, and go on to be one of the best big men ever in Kane. Vader would be an upper midcard jobber for another couple of years before regaining his glory in Japan. Funk would toil in midcard obscurity before a return to ECW and Japan (where he would team with Vader). Yoko would never again appear in a WWF ring, going on to… *shudder* Heroes of Wrestling’s main event… before dying of his ever-expanding girth.
—————-
Video recollection of Sid and Shawn
————

The Participants:

Sycho Sid

vs.

WWF Champion Shawn Michaels

Background: Shawn needed a partner for himself while he (and to a lesser extent, Ahmed Johnson) was feuding with Vader, Bulldog, and Owen. He had the Ultimate Warrior, but shockingly, he flaked out and left the WWF. Again. Sid had been missing (due to injury) for a bit after a period as a heel, but Shawn brought him back and, unexpectedly, the WWF fans loved Sid (as they should), and when JJ Dillon went to WCW they needed someone else to battle Shawn, so who better than the Master and the Ruler of the World? He and Shawn have had some “miscommunications” in the weeks leading up to this match (which Sid got by beating Vader at the In Your House the month before), so this time, it’s personal! Or something like that.

The Match: Shawn has his trainer, Jose Lothario, with him tonight. This is technically face vs. face. Ooh, cool pyro for Sid. Seems to be a LOT of Sid fans. They show the fans Shawn walking to the ring in the back, and the boos are VERY audible. “SID! SID! SID!” chants! Girls and little kids love HBK though! Shawn is wearing eyeliner or something, what the hell? Fans cheer every time Sid knocks HBK down, haha! Wait, did Sid just do some wrestling? Cool. Even the THOUGHT of Sid powerbombing Shawn got the fans going nuts! Awesome! Fans get on Shawn’s case! Sid does look so much more dominant when HBK sells so much for him. Fans are VERY anti-HBK! “Michaels is gay” chants!!! They boo him doing the figure 4 to Sid, and he says “f you” to the fans, but doesn’t censor it like I did (family friendly, after all). “Let’s go Sid” chants! Shawn is getting so booed and looks very confused. Sid smacks the cameraman, haha! Girls boo Sid. Shawn is no Rock in going along with the fans changing of who they root for. Watching Shawn not know how to react is the best! Throw him in the crowd! Oh, rats. “SID! SID! SID!” chants start again! Sid so clearly calls the match, he’d been around like 10 years, you’d think he’d learn not to be so obvious. Shawn spits at the fans for booing him! Sid catches Shawn jumping off the top and the place explodes! Come on Sid!!! Wow, HBK slammed him. To boos. Haha. Man, HBK can do no right with the fans. I think it’s pretty safe to say the fans are more Anti-HBK than Pro-Sid, but whatever. 3 Stooges break up of the Chokeslam. Sweet Chin Music blocked!!! ONE ARM CHOKESLAM!!!!!!!! Crowd goes berserk!!! Finish him Sid, c’mon! Almost a cheap ending there. Sid RULES, HBK can’t get any more than like 1 move in at a time on him, and the crowd LOVES it! Sid takes the camera? Smacks Jose with it! SWEET CHIN MUSIC! Fans BOO!!!!!!!!!! Jose having a heart attack? HBK goes to check. Shawn keeps cursing, tsk tsk. Sid says there’s still a match and brings him in. Takes out the ref? Uh oh. Crowd cheers Sid using the camera on HBK! BIG POWERBOMB! 1-2-3!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!! Every male over 15 is cheering! The girls and kids are crying! Hahahaha! SID~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Winner: SID SID SID SID SID SID SID SID SID SID SID I HATE SHAWN MICHAELS SID SID SID SID SID!!!!!!!!!

Aftermath: Sorry, I lost my objectivity up there. Anyway, Vince didn’t listen to the fans because Vince is a jackass and Sid would go on to lose the title back to Shawn in 2 months, who would then lose his smile. Sid then beat Bret Hart for the title and defended against Undertaker at WrestleMania 13. Shawn walked the line between face and heel for a bit longer before going full fledged heel. He’d also face Bret a year later at Survivor Series in Montreal. From my recollection, nothing memorable happened that night.
——-
Coliseum Exclusive of Jose being taken out by EMTs, followed by former champ Shawn, who doesn’t seem to care he lost his belt. Pete Lothario is there too. Todd is outside the medical office. He uses the “This is serious, not part of the show” voice.
———-
Some quick fun facts from this event:
· There was a Free-For-All match featuring Bart Gunn, Aldo Montoya, Jesse Jammes, and Bob Holly vs. Billy Gunn, Salvatore Sincere, Justin Bradshaw, and The Sultan. Final elimination was Bart over Billy. You might know the participants better as The Guy Who Got KO’d By Butterbean, Justin Credible, Road Dogg, Hardcore Holly, Mr. Ass, Tom Brandi/Patriot II, JBL, and Rikishi.
· I was at this event live, and cheered the hell outta my man Sid. It did my heart good to see so many people agree with me on it too.
· This was Sid’s first World Title win.
Thanks for reading, send me some feedback so I know what I’m doing right/wrong. It’s [email protected], and your help gives you better reviews.

And while you’re at it, choose which of these tapes you want me to review next! The tape that gets the most votes gets reviewed next:

WrestleMania I (Coliseum version)
King of the Ring ’93
SummerSlam ’98
NWA Capital Combat ’90
Starrcade ’94
WCW Mayhem ’99
ECW Living Dangerously ’99

And if there’s anything else you want to see reviewed, let me know, I’ll try to get to it if I have it.

Thanks again for reading, I hope you enjoyed reading this.

–Shore