wrestling / Video Reviews
Retro Smackdown (12.16.99) Review
Loading...While the McMahon-Helmsley era technically started on Raw, the idea behind this edition of Smackdown was that it started here.
Let’s jump in!
Announcers: Michael Cole and Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler
Location: Florida State University in Tallahassee, FL
Smackdown Rating: 4.4
Watch: WWE Network
– Video package recaps Triple H vs. Vince McMahon at Armageddon and the fallout with Triple H and Stephanie taking over Monday’s Raw. This was a longggggg video and pretty much recapped every single segment.
– Triple H and Stephanie backstage with the entire locker room in attendance. They announce Vince and Shane aren’t there and they’re gonna handle things more fair than they did on Raw. From top to bottom, they’re gonna treat everyone fairly. Steph makes Mankind vs. Al Snow, Triple H makes The Rock vs. Big Show for the WWF Title. They say it’s the start of the McMahon-Helmsley era.
– As a side note, how great was the Smackdown opening video!
Chris Jericho vs. Big Boss Man and Albert – Handicap Match for the Intercontinental Title
Before the match, Boss Man runs down “morons” in the WWF before Jericho interrupts and tells him to shut the hell up. That leads to Jericho challenging them both. Not smart math, Chris! The match starts and Chyna’s music hits and she’s out with The Kat. Albert destroys Jericho for a bit with Chyna and Kat standing ringside. And we cut to the back where Triple H and Steph are enjoying champagne and snacks. I love snacks. I can’t tell if Boss Man is actually in the match as he’s in manager mode. Boss Man throws Albert the nightstick while distracting the referee, but Chyna low blows Albert, which allows Jericho to nail Albert with the nightstick and hit the Lionsault for the win at 2:44.
Blake’s Take: This offerered some intrigue with Chyna helping Jericho win the match. Let’s see where it goes! NR
– Triple H knocks Chyna and women in general, and that pisses off Steph. She’s headed to ringside to check out Kurt Angle and says he’s cute. Triple H doesn’t like that idea. Back from commercial, and Triple H stops Steph and says he doesn’t trust Test. She heads to the ring anyways. POWER STRUGGLE.
Kurt Angle vs. Test
Steph joins commentary for this one. Back and forth early from Angle and Test, and Steph blows a kiss to Test. She was so great as a heel this early in her career. She really was. Test controls the match for a bit and Steph tells Angle to “get his cute self out of that hold.” Foreshadowing for Summerslam 2000. Test starts pummeling Angle, so Steph calls for the bell and awards the match to Angle via DQ at 2:53. Test goes after Steph and her facial expressions are excellent. As they head up the ramp, DX attacks Test from behind and for the millionth time, Triple H makes Test look like an idiot by punching him in the face.
Blake’s Take: Seriously, Steph was awesome. NR
– Your WWF Slam of the Week presented by the WWF SLAM CAM is Jeff Hardy flying off the cage on Raw. I do not remember the Slam Cam one bit.
– During the break, medical officials checked on Test. Now we’re backstage, where Test’s nose is busted open and Triple H and Steph yell at Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco for no reason and put them in a match with the New Age Outlaws, with the caveat that they’re fired if they don’t compete.
Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy
Another wacky McMahon-Helmsley special here, and Terri doesn’t like it. Cole and Lawler play up the familiarity between the two since they’re brothers, so this is the type of back and forth match that you’d expect. They both take their shirts off and that’s when you know they mean business! Perhaps the better example is Jeff pushing Terri after she tries to calm them down. Matt and Jeff start slapping the hell out of each other, then they work to the outside with a nice reversal spot leading to Matt hitting a DDT on Jeff. More reversals and pin attempts from both men until Jeff flies over the top and hits Matt on the outside. That only gets a two count. They go up top with Matt countering a high spot for two. Back up top, and Jeff hits the Senton Bomb for a near fall. Jeff goes for another high move off the top, but Jeff misses and favors his leg. Matt hits a modified reverse DDT to earn the victory at 5:23.
Blake’s Take: I actually enjoyed them doing weird matches like this to push the difference with the McMahon-Helmsley era. And as usual, these two delivered a fun match. ***
– Tori is pissed at being in the CHOCOLATE PUDDING match on Raw. Triple H’s facial expressions are great. Steph makes a match between her and Tori, but Triple H ain’t having that shit. Steph’s gonna do it anyways.
– We come back from break and Mean Street Posse plead that they learned their lesson against the Acolytes. Hard to believe Pete Gas did since Bradshaw pretty much decapitated him with a chair shot. Steph has a plan for them.
– Steph comes out for her match against Tori and we cut to the Posse beating down Kane in the back. Tori leaves to save Kane, but Steph announces her new opponent: X-Pac. Oh boy.
Tori vs. X-Pac
Tori tries to get the hell out of there, but Steph throws her in the ring. Naturally, X-Pac gives Tori the suck it sign. However, she gets her revenge from Armageddon – you know, where X-Pac spit in her face – by spitting in X-Pac’s face. Do not think this would be a good way to further a feud in 2020. X-Pac throws Tori into the corner and…..repeatedly gives her the Bronco Buster. Sigh. X-Pac then hits the X-Factor and mounts her for the pin at 43 seconds.
Blake’s Take: Welp. NR
– During the break, Kane helps Tori backstage. We cut to the Posse with Triple H and Steph again, and Triple H is pissed that Kane was able to leave with Tori. That sets up another rematch with the Acolytes. Poor Abs.
– Al Snow is outside the DX locker room saying thanks to someone inside the locker room.
Mankind vs. Al Snow – Hardcore Match
Snow goes right after Mankind with a bat, but Foley counters and takes control. They work to the outside as Snow shatters the bat on the post as Mankind moves out of the way. Kicks exchanged and too course they’re fighting on the announce table. Mankind destroys Snow with a chair and tries to pin Snow on a chair. Snow brings out the BAKING SHEET and business has officially picked up. This reminds me of playing WrestleMania 2000 or No Mercy 2000 on the N64. You never knew what weapon you were gonna get from under the ring!
Snow starts choking out Mankind and then grabs a street sign (top 3 N64 weapon), but Mankind hits a DDT on Snow on the sign. Socko time, but Snow gets out of the ring and duplexes Mankind on the steel ramp. Back in the ring and Snow puts on a BOWLING SHIRT as he prepares to roll a strike. But Mankind grabs Snow by the balls with a tong. How can you not love wrestling? Mankind punches Snow while continuing to tong Snow’s balls before rolling a strike with the bowling ball to completely destroy Snow’s manhood. These two are back in the aisle and Snow is getting hit with a trash can lid. They fight backstage and exchange blows before head into the DX locker room. We hear sounds and Snow gets tossed out of the locker room and Mankind pins him at 8:01. Afterwards, Rock comes out with a chair and he takes the DX sign off the door to reveal his own logo.
Blake’s Take: I realize not every hardcore match is a classic, but I loved this. Maybe it was the weapons, maybe it was the N64 memories. Either way, this was entertaining, and the Rock swerving Snow was a nice touch. ***1/4
– Brisco tries to convince Patterson they won’t get their ass kicked against the Outlaws.
– If you didn’t already know Triple H and Steph were in charge, we replay the entire locker room speech from earlier to make it crystal clear.
– The mysterious orange video plays on the Titantron as Edge makes his entrance. WHO COULD IT BE?
– The Outlaws join Triple H and Steph in the back for some grapes and cheese. Triple H and Steph leave to “get some fresh air.” They’re gonna do it, aren’t they?
Edge vs. Christian
Cole does a good job pointing out that this match and the Hardyz match may have been set up to eliminate these two teams from challenging the Outlaws. Spinning heel kick from Edge, but he misses a baseball slide and Christian makes him pay for it. Christian with a nice suplex and face buster combo for a near fall. Edge with a Northern Lights suplex for a two count of his own. Christian with a reverse DDT and there’s another two. Back-to-back reversals as Edge nearly gets the win, then Edge catches Christian yet another two count. Edge goes for the spear, but Christian counters with a leg sweep. Edge hits a cross body off the top, but Christian counters into a near fall! Another reversal and the referee counts the pin on Christian to give Edge the win at 3:54, but it was a strange finish. They show the replay and Christian’s shoulders clearly weren’t down.
Blake’s Take: The finish wasn’t great, but still a good match between two rising stars. **1/2
– The Posse are trying to leave the building but my guess is this won’t work. Here come Triple H and Steph to confirm that thought. They send their asses to the ring.
– WWF BOOT OF THE WEEK brought to you by LUGZ shows a replay of Bradshaw trying to end Gas’s career with the chair shot on Raw. They show this chair shot about eight times. Just brutal.
The Acolytes vs. Mean Street Posse
The All-American returns to Florida State. DAMN. Another underrated WWF theme is the Mean Street Posse. Bradshaw no sells a double clothesline, and Farooq hits the spinebuster on Rodney for the squash at 26 seconds. Gas and Abs attack after the match, and Farooq uses the SEMINOLE CHOP to dispose of Abs while Bradshaw tries to break Gas’s shoulder as he throws him into the steel steps. We’ve got a seminole chant breaking out in the audience, and here comes Bradshaw with a chair. Not gonna be good. Bradshaw obliterates Rodney’s head with the chair and my goodness every Bradshaw chairshot in this era is just insane.
Blake’s Take: The destruction of the Mean Street Posse continues. NR
– Lillian Garcia asks Jim Ross about the McMahon-Helmsley era. He’s embarrassed and calls Steph’s something that rhymes with witch that starts with a B. Let’s see if he gets away with it!
– Back from commercial and JR did not get away with it. Triple H threatens JR and Steph slaps him in the face before they throw him out.
Too Cool and Rikishi vs. Hardcore Holly, Crash Holly, and Viscera
Before the match, the Wired.com Steve Austin figure is back! IT WORKS THIS TIME. Somebody remembered the batteries on this show. This feud continues after the Rikishi/Viscera team didn’t work out so well against the Hollys at Armageddon. Who could’ve guessed that? Luckily, we’ve got another super heavyweight in this match in Crash. Sexay goes to work on Crash and hits a dropkick off the top. Crash makes a tag to Hardcore, and here comes Rikishi. He hits Hardcore with a superkick and Scotty is in for the WORM. I think this was before it was called the WORM. Speaking of worms, Scotty racks Hardcore on the post. However, Hardcore gets some offense going and eventually tags Viscera, who hits a Samoan Drop on Scotty. The bad guys continue the offense but hot tag to Rikishi and all six men come in for a classic BROUHAHA. Viscera and Rikishi go at it and Cole says it’s over 900 pounds of beef. Viscera accidentally squashes Hardcore in the corner and then decides to leave the match as Rikishi comes off the top and sits on Hardcore for the win at 6:08. After the match, the winners dance.
Blake’s Take: Not a technical masterpiece by any means, but the crowd loved them some Too Cool. **1/2
– Outlaws don’t want to take Patterson and Brisco lightly, and Billy spoils that it’s gonna be a No DQ Match.
– Christmas promo with Terri laying on the bed telling Santa about the naughty things she’s done.
(c) The New Age Outlaws vs. Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco – No DQ Match for the Tag Team Titles
Patterson and Brisco coming out to Hulk Hogan’s music will never get old. It’s just so great. Brisco with the powder to the eyes before this thing even gets started and Patterson appears to have a loaded sock. Then Patterson brings out a chain. Meanwhile, Brisco hits a double-undertook suplex on Billy. Brisco locks the figure four on Billy and Patterson has Road Dogg in a Boston Crab. The champs turn the tables as Patterson misses a spear in the corner and falls outside. Road Dogg uses the brass knocks on Patterson, then Billy hits the Fameasser on Brisco to retain at 2:00.
Blake’s Take: Once again, not a great wrestling match, but the crowd ate it up with a spoon. NR
– Rock and Big Show prepare for their match.
– The Smack of the Night belongs to Steph smacking JR. Seems fitting.
(c) The Big Show vs. The Rock – Lumberjack Match for the WWF Title
So Triple H and Steph come out and he makes the lumberjack stipulation, which sends DX and all the heels out, including poor Rodney. Meanwhile, Triple H and Steph are sitting in a recliner on the ramp. What a heel. Rock hits his trademark punches, and those were another N64 favorite. Show its some offense, but Rock hits a Russian leg sweep for a near fall. Rock knocked outside and the lumberjacks go after him. Back inside, and Rock pulls the rope down to send Show outside. The lumberjacks do the same to him. Rock counters for a DDT and then he hits DX members with haymakers as they hop on the apron. Rock hits the Rock Bottom and goes for the pin, but Billy breaks it up and the lumberjacks pull Rock out of the ring.
Back inside, Show hits the chokeslam on Rock but DX pulls him out and start punching him. Rock with three clotheslines to knock down Show, and in a nice bit of foreshadowing, Rock clotheslines Show over the top and they both hit the floor at the same time. Angle goes after Show, and Hardcore goes after Rock before everyone else joins in. But HERE COMES MANKIND, and he’s got a shopping cart full of weapons. He hits nearly everyone with a trash can, and Rock and Show join in on the fun with baking sheets and other weapons. The climax is Rock hitting the Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow on Viscera as Triple H loses his mind.
Blake’s Take: This was great as it used the exact same formula with all the other matches Triple H and Steph set up. Plus, it started the road to the big Royal Rumble matches. **1/2
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