The ECW eXperience 05.22.07

by J.D. Dunn May 22, 2007 Live from Des Moines, Iowa. Your hosts are Joey Styles and Taz. Tommy Dreamer vs. Snitsky. Tommy takes a spill and hurts his shoulder, so Snitsky tosses him into the post and tries to rip his arm off. Snitsky misses his big boot and crotches himself. Dreamer tries to cut his legs out from under him. He hits a DDT, which is supposed to be his finisher, but it only gets two. Dreamer comes off the top right into a clothesline by Snitsky. Snitsky finishes with a big boot at 3:49. Snitsky grabs a chair, but Rob Van Dam runs down and kicks it right back in his face. 3/4* Timbaland’s video again. Kevin Thorn vs. Wyatt Lara(sp?). They are apparently thinking of repackaging Thorn. Or, as the Observer spins it: Batista tried to rape Ariel, and she defended herself, so Stephanie took time out from eating her own young to fire Ariel because all women hate each other. Oh, and Dave Lagana is a pussy for not risking his job over a third-string Diva. Thorn finishes with the Dark Kiss, which Joey redubs “Original Sin.” (1:34). 1/4* Elijah Burke tells Matt Striker to take a hike because he’s talking to Marcus Cor Von. Psst. Must be a black thing. Matt Striker vs. Brett Major (w/Brian Major). If the Major brothers can bulk up, they’ll have a great future. They both look like the bastard sons of the Von Erich brothers, and Brett has some good moves. Striker takes over with a backdrop suplex and knees him in the face. Brett comes back with a sunset flip. Brett fights out of a cravat and hits a neckbreaker drop. Brett hits a porno version of a Thesz Press, but Striker swats away a dropkick and hits a reverse neckbreaker at 3:46. * Michael Imperioli pimps Toshiba’s HDDVD player. Yeah, well, if he’s so smart, why is he dead? Recap of Lashley winning a shot at the ECW Title last night on Raw. You know what would be a novel concept? If the ECW Champion actually appeared on the ECW show and the battle to find a new #1 contender for the ECW Title actually took place on the ECW show too! But, you see, Lashley has “graduated” from this show, which just says to the fans they don’t need to bother with these guys, so when you put them on PPV, the crowd goes for a piss break. Rob Van Dam & CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke & Marcus Cor Von. I smell a Punk heel turn somewhere in here. By the way, while I’m calling for changes, can we get some new music for Cor Von instead of the song that sounds like the B-side of Eddie Murphy’s “Party All the Time?” Cor Von rolls over RVD early. Van Dam fakes him out and “hits” his split-legged moonsault. By “hits” I mean his chin grazes Cor Von’s back. Both guys look kind of stupid there – Van Dam for missing the move, and Cor Von for letting it get a two count. Punk gets the tag and clears the heels out of the ring as we go to break. We come back to Cor Von holding RVD in a half-crab. During the break, he pushed Van Dam off the top, and Van Dam tweaked his knee. The New Breed take turns working over Van Dam’s leg. Burke stretches Van Dam’s knee across the ropes and slings himself into a stomp on it. Van Dam finally gets out of trouble and gets the HOT TAG TO PUNK! Punk hits a knee to Burke’s face. Cor Von makes the save, though. Van Dam wipes out on the outside. Punk sets up for the Go2Sleep, but Cor Von makes the save with a spear. Cor Von won’t listen to the ref and, instead, hits the Pounce on Punk for the DQ at 13:24. He hits another Pounce on RVD, and the New Breed gloats. **1/2 The Extreme 411: Kind of boring outside of the main event. There were too many extraneous things (the music video, the recap of Lashley’s night on Raw) that kept the show out of focus.