wrestling / TV Reports
The ECW eXperience 6.05.07
June 5, 2007 | Posted by
 by J.D. Dunn June 5, 2007 Tornadoes last week, so no eXperience. Joey wonders why the ECW Originals would agree to be in this match. Well, if they beat the champion, they’d probably get a title shot. Remember when that was important? They all mug him á la the alley scene in Cape Fear, but he shoves them all away. The beating doesn’t stop there, though. Lashley get knocked to the outside, and Sandman whiffs on a baseball slide. He needed to go 90 feet; he went 89. That looked bad. Tommy calls (loudly) for a suplex, and Sandman helps him out. The ECW Originals go through all their spots. Sandman gets the tables, and Balls destroys both Dreamer and Lashley with chairshots (the former by accident, of course). His legdrop misses, though, and that allows Lashley to drive Sandman through the table. The spear finishes Mahoney at 4:49. The Originals were blowing spots left and right, but Lashley looked dominant yet again. I guess he’s “The Master of the Handicap Matches” or something. 3/4* The last time we saw Stevie, he was a heel. The last time we saw Thorn in any major role, he was breaking away from the New Breed. Yet Thorn plays the heel here. Nothing will kill someone’s heat faster than people not knowing what they’re about. Joey makes sure to work in the “bite clubs” thing. You know what else will kill heat? Chinlocks, of which there are plenty from Thorn here. Thorn crotches himself while trying to stomp a mudhole, and Richards kicks his thigh. Thorn reverses a whip and hits the Baldo Bomb for two. Original Sin finishes at 4:46. I think we’re seeing that any charisma that Thorn had was tied up in his perverse relationship with Ariel. Now, he’s just a big glorified jobber with a vampire gimmick. 3/4* The Major Brothers have lost the “s” at the end of their name. They do some good Rockers-ish stuff, but they need to work in extended doubleteams instead of just the double hiptoss and quit. Remember when Shawn and Marty used to do that and then hit double elbows, kip up and hit double dropkicks on the partner? That was good doubleteaming. Brent plays face-in-peril. Elijah hits a skyyyyyy hiiiiiiigh elbow. The fans turn on the match, but they’ve been prickly jerks all night. Not that this is any kind of interesting, but to chant “boring” 30 seconds into a match makes you look kind of like an asshole who is needy for attention. Cor Von grabs a reverse bearhug. Burke knees Brent, but he sends him right into his own corner. Brian gets the tag and cleans house with a flying elbow and spinebuster, but Marcus Cor Von tags in and ENDS him with the POUNCE! The New Breed get back on the winning track at 6:43. *3/4 If Striker’s going to insist on wearing those tights, I’m going to have to insist that he be circumcised. Punk dominates early and takes Striker to school – so to speak. He hits that stepover armbar into a back heelkick. Striker goes after Punk’s back or leg. I can’t really tell what he’s thinking. He botches a Boston Crab and has to settle for a half-crab. He hits a neckbreaker and goes back to the half-crab. And this guy is supposed to be smart? Punk reverses another Crab attempt to a rollup and hits his strike combination. The corner knee and bulldog get two. NOW IT’S TIME TO GO TO The 411: Boring, meaningless show this week. The crowd hated it. The wrestlers dogged it. The announcers laughed at it. Vince spaced out during it. Everything’s going to change next week anyway, which we heard 1000x over the last three shows. |
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