The ECW Palace Perspective: 8.26.08

Welcome to another enthralling Knox-tacular edition of the Palace Perspective, the only ECW recap brought to you from John Morrison’s Palace of Wisdom. Speaking of the Shaman of Sexy…

Reason Why John Morrison is Better Than You of the Week: As we all know, John Morrison transcends time. And we also know that John Morrison is a magnificent poet. But what you might not know is that around is that in the early 1960s, Morrison encountered an charismatic up and coming poet. Unfortunately, this man never had the skills to make it big, so Morrison took him under his wing and taught him all kinds of things about poetry, song writing and hair care products. John also shared some of his charisma with this young man.

Sadly, the young man was devious and stole some of John’s best work. He left John and went on to achieve fame and fortune using all of the advice Morrison had given him, without giving John so much as a thank you. Even sadder still, this man would steal John’s name, calling himself Jim Morrison. Every great song The Doors ever put out? John Morrison wrote it.

That’s right, John Morrison didn’t steal Jim Morrison’s gimmick, Jim Morrison stole John Morrison’s gimmick.

Shocking, I know.

You look for trouble, you’re going to see that you words are dangerous, your talk is cheap. I am standing here, still standing here! Don’t question my heart! Don’t question the fire that burns in side!

Matt Striker and Todd Grisham are your hosts. Striker’s profile has been moved to the ECW page while Tazz’s has been moved to the SmackDown page, so those changes look to be permanent.

Tiffany is gorgeous. Like, really hot. She welcomes out Teddy Long. Whatever SmackDown and Raw can do, ECW can do better, so there’ll be an ECW Championship Scramble match at Unforgiven. All the matches tonight will be qualifying matches. Holla! Holla! Holla!

Match 1: ECW Championship Scramble Qualifier – Matt Hardy vs. John Morrison

Both of these guys should be in the Scramble. Did Matt Striker just call Morrison Jo-Mo? I like it! Hardy gets advantage of the early holds until Morrison hits a knee to the gut. Morrison avoids the corner clothesline but slingshots right into a right hand. Morrison uses the power of leverage to regain control though. Morrison attacks with forearm strikes and applies an arm trap chinlock. Hardy fights back but falls to a neckbreaker for 2. SPLIT LEGGED CORKSCREW MOONSAULT… misses. Striker calls that Starship Pain. OK. Hardy hits the running corner clothesline but Morrison drops down in the corner, so Matt pulls him out into a powerbomb for 2. Side Effect connects for 2 more. Morrison blocks the Twist of Fate and dumps Hardy on the apron, then knocks him off the apron. The power of commercial sees Morrison regain dominance. Hardy slugs his way out of another resthold but Morrison catches him with his backbreaker/leg sweep combo for 2. Hardy counters a Moonlight Drive attempt twice but gets caught with a clothesline. Mounted forearm strikes now, and Morrison is pissed off. To the floor now and Morrison pummels Hardy. Back in, the Shaman hits that vicious knee strike for 2. Matt hits a jawbreaker to get out of another resthold. Corner clothesline/bulldog combo connects, and I’m going to call that move Version 1. And then when he uses it against two opponenents (clotheslining the second while bulldog-ing the first), I shall call it Version 2. Genius, I know. That gets 2. Hardy gets 2 more with the elbow off the second rope. Morrison counters the Twist of Fate into the backslide but gets caught with his hands in the cookie jar. Hardy gets a schoolboy for 2. Hardy sits down on a crucifix attempt for 2, but then Morrison rolls through into the crucifix pin attempt for 2 more. Morrison avoids a charge but Hardy blocks the springboard kick. Morrison slides out of a Razor’s Edge attempt and now hits the springboard kick! That gets 2. Morrison pummels Hardy in the corner and hits a bunch of rights from the second rope. He gets shoved half way across the ring and they clothesline each other. Simultaneous combustion! Both men up, Moonlight Drive countered, TWIST OF FATE for the win!

Winner: Matt Hardy

Match Analysis: Damn, what a match. This is what ECW is all about. I loved that they set up early the fight to hit their finishers as the Moonlight Drive and Twist of Fate were countered a couple of times early. And then only after both men had taken each other out was Matt able to counter the Drive one more time right into the Twist of Fate. This was fantastic back and forth action all the way through. Both guys got their signature stuff in and they worked some nice variations on it as well. Plenty of good counters, nice spots and fast-paced action. Big thumbs up for this one. ***1/4

Mark Henry thinks Teddy Long has something against him. Teddy Long says not. Tiffany is still hot.

We get the Raw Rebound and Grisham and Striker talk about John Cena’s surgery, which was a success.

Match 2: ECW Championship Scramble Qualifier – The Miz vs. Evan Bourne

Strikers calls Bourne electriflying. Evan gets 2 off a quick roll up. Miz gets overzealous and caught with a leg sweep for another near fall. They work through a bunch of hammerlock reversals and then Bourne gets 2 off a snap powerslam. Roll up reversals mount up the near falls for both men. Bourne gets a nice arm drag. Bourne works the arm but gets caught with a forearm to the face. Miz misses his corner clothesline and gets caught with a rana and a dropkick. Miz blocks a headscissors attempt and dumps Bourne to the floor. Miz drives Bourne into the ring apron ribs-first, and then back in hits a leg drop for 2. Bourne fights out of a rest hold but gets caught with a front reverse suplex for 2. Miz applies a bodyscissors now, but Bourne stacks him up for 2 and the hold is broken. Evan counters a back suplex into a body block for 2. Bourne knots up the thighs, connects with a couple of roundhouse kicks and snaps off his signature rana, which from now on is called the Evanescence. That gets him a 2 count. Miz goes to the knee to slow Bourne down, but gets leg sweeped going for the Reality Check and Evan hits the Bourne Supremacy (standing moonsault) for 2! Miz fights back and sits up top but gets caught with a jumping knee strike. Bourne tries for a frankensteiner but as he leaps, Miz simply hops off the top and Bourne gets crotched and falls off. The Reality Check hands Bourne his first pinfall loss.

Winner: The Miz

Match Analysis: Another really good little match up. This one didn’t get the same time as the first but they still worked really hard and had a good match. It started off really brightly and was only sluggish for the minute or so in the middle. They really picked it up down the streak and the finish was fantastic as the visual of Bourne missing that frankensteiner was amazing. Personally, I don’t like the choice to not include Bourne in the Scramble, or to have Miz in over Morrison, but that shouldn’t take away from another really good match coming out of ECW. **3/4

Match 3: ECW Championship Scramble Qualifier – Chavo Guerrero w/ Bam Neely vs. Tommy Dreamer

Chavo goes on offence early but gets slammed and arm dragged. He comes back with some shitty offence to take control. Matt Striker is about a thousand times more entertaining than this match, talking about Mexican heritage, lucha libre, Mil Mascaras, Octopus holds and more. In fact, I may just commentate on Matt Striker instead of the match. Na, Striker slows up with his genius. Dreamer gets 2 off a powerslam. Dreamer crotches Chavo and hits the basement dropkick. Chavo shoves Dreamer into Bam Neely though and hot shots him. That sets up for the Frog Splash and the win.

Winner: Chavo Guerrero

Match Analysis: Bland match. Two guys who have lost tonight should be in this Scramble match ahead of Chavo but that’s the way it goes. For two veterains I would hope that they could have come up with something more interesting, but that wasn’t the case. It wasn’t a bad match, but it was completely forgettable and the booking didn’t help my enjoyment of it. *1/2

Josh Matthews, Batista and Candice Michelle encourage you to SmackDown your vote. Have to say, I wouldn’t mind laying the SmackDown on Candice Michelle, but that’s another story for another time.

We get an ad for SmackDown on MyNetwork TV. Interestingly enough, October 3rd is the same date Raw returned to the USA network in 05, was it not?

***** for “Rock Out”, the theme song for Unforgiven by Motorhead. I can’t wait to get my hands on that new album.

We see replays of last week’s brawl between Mike Knox and Finlay.

Match 4: ECW Championship Scramble Qualifier – Finlay vs. Mike Knox

They lock up and break a few times and then they brawl. Striker brings up the origins of catch-as-catch-can wrestling to scores more points in my book. They go to the floor and brawl some more. Knox runs into the ring post but then hits Finlay with a big boot. The powers of the commercial put Finlay back in control as he works over the arm. Knox takes a time out on the floor, but he’s just playing possum as Finlay walks into a wicked snap powerslam on the floor! Well this just got interesting. Back in and Knox works over the back with a bunch of physicality and methodical offence. Finlay hits a jawbreaker to get out of a resthold but Knox kills him with a lariat. Knox > McGuinness? I’d just like to point out that I just received a this morning’s mail and that my afternoon will now be spent watching ROH Final Battle 2006 and TNA Bound For Glory 2005, whilst wearing my new Motor City Machineguns T-shirt. TNA needs to take a page out of WWE’s book and take their logo off the back of the shirt though so I can wear these suckers in public. Finlay fights out of more back-based offence but gets driven back into the corner. Knox gets horny for Horny but the little bastard runs away. Finlay clotheslines Knox to the floor, goes out, hits a clothesline, throws him back in and hits another clothesline. And another, and a senton. Knox avoids the Celtic Cross and gets a big boot for 2. Knox removes the turnbuckle pad, allowing Finlay to pick up a shillelagh. Knox intercepts though and the referee catches Knox with the shillelagh. He disposes of it but Finlay has a second shillelagh and drills Knox with it for the win!

Winner: Finlay

Match Analysis: Pretty good stuff. It started off very slowly but picked up in a hurry when they went to the floor. The fans were hot for Finlay and the finish was a lot of fun. Not as good as either of the first two matches, but still a decent main event. **1/4

We get a bunch of kids dancing around the ring as we go off the air.

ECW Championship Scramble: Mark Henry vs. Matt Hardy vs. The Miz vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Finlay.

Show Analysis: A damn good show one really strong match, two other good matches and a fourth not-so-good match. The show was built around building to Unforgiven which was the right thing to do as it makes the title important. However, I don’t like the Scramble line up at all. Why have Miz in but not Morrison? Why Chavo Guerrero? Could we not have had Morrison go over Dreamer and Hardy over Guerrero? What about Bourne? He’s over and should be in there. That’s minor booking complaints but as far as an hour of wrestling goes, this was damn fine stuff as usual.

That’s it for an edition of the Palace Perspective. Be sure to check out Thoughts From The Top Rope, which features a special look at the new ECW, as well as the Happy-Go-Sucky News Report, covered by yours truly. And rock fans, head over to the music zone for the latest Great Rock News Report. Until next week, this has been the Palace Perspective.