The Fink’s Payload 05.21.07: Mick Foley Ideas

Dan: Hello readers of the Payload! I’m sure you will all have noticed that we have brand new writers here at the Payload. And there are 3 of us! I am Daniel Wilcox, regular author of Scmozzes & Screwjobs and my two co-workers are…

Matt: What? Three of us? Man am I ever out of the loop. I kid, I kid. I am Matt Adamson, my column Destiny runs every Sunday. I also have a mini-column in The Shimmy called 500 Good Words.

and…

Rob: I’m Rob Halden, I call people Idiots.

Dan: Before we get started, ex-Payloader Matt Sforcina has an issue to address;

Matt S: Well now, I’m here to give the new guys a hand over. I’m sure this three some will make me proud.

Uh, yeah.

Anyway, before I go, I have one last issue to deal with. Some hate mail…directed at me. I honestly thought Nick would get it before me, but hey, I will give Angelo Velotta his time here.

I would like to issue a complaint in response to this comment made: Matt: Angelo Velotta thinks a major push for Marella is in order. Why am I not shocked at all?

This is insinuating that just because he’s Italian and debuted in Italy that I am praising him as the greatest thing. That is immature Matt for 2 reasons. One, is you are being a jackass insinuating that Italian/Italian connection in such high school fashion, and two is that the whole point in the send your ideas here shit is too send something worthwhile, as in an actual program, which would be considered a push. Marella might not be the greatest wrestler, as I’ve heard from the Deep South reports, and I honestly don’t think he will or should be pushed as a star, I was simply responding to your forums. It may not have been the most excellent idea but you asked for ideas for a relatively unknown and not very capable wrestler. And if I was just pro-Italian then I would say Nunzio should be World Champ and defeat Cena at Summerslam for the title, but I don’t think that so quit with your condescending immature filth. And by the way Foley is a washed up never been good wrestler, so I’m not going to waste my time talking about him. You owe me an apology and I expect this response to be posted in the next Payload, as well as an apology. Thanks.

Posted in the Payload, check. Apology…

No.

For starters, as you may have guessed, I too am of Italian descent (or rather, I am of Italian descent since I wouldn’t want to automatically assume you have or have not any despite a name that in my mind is clearly of Italian origin), any joke I made in 7 words is automatically self-degrading, with or without an actual stereotype that is offensive. I think that banding together with fellow nationalities is not a stereotype strictly relegated to Italians, and I’m not entirely sure it can be construed as anything offensive beyond someone with a very, very low level of tolerance. Hence, I could argue that given my (partial, given that I am Australian and thus like a lot of Australians I have several different bloodlines in my family tree) nationality, I am allowed to make jokes about Italians as much as I damm well please. This would be the African-American and use of the N-Word argument. I don’t really buy that argument, but it might hold for some. (Technically I could place the N-word in that sentence and it would be perfectly polite given the discussion and point making context it’s being used in, but I’m in the middle of one bro-ha-ha over my comments, I’m trying to avoid any more.)

What I will say, is that you, Mr. Velotta, are seriously, SERIOUSLY, over-reacting. If I made a joke about you putting out a hit on me, or sending your idea in-between pasta breaks, or any other generally accepted offensive stereotype about Italians, you might have a point. I made a tiny joke about fellow countrymen banding together as a throwaway in 7 words while introducing your idea. If you want to go after someone who is being offensive, with ‘condescending immature filth’, perhaps you should review the interview that Santino delivered on Raw two weeks ago, in which he made more stereotypical references than I made in the whole column. That is, arguably, ‘condescending immature filth’, and perhaps you should send a mail to WWE. You’ve submitted several good ideas, Mr. Velotta, but if one single line makes you this upset, then I’m sorry, but perhaps you shouldn’t submit your ideas any more, given that sooner or later the new guys might make another light-hearted comment about someone’s name, and I wouldn’t want to get you so upset again, unless of course you feel I am ok to ‘insult’ anyone else, just not you. And I’m sure sooner of later one of them will hate an idea of yours, and that would just be terrible.

So basically… No, I will not apologize for my joke. Thanks for your contributions, however.

Dan: Thanks for that, Matt. Angelo, sorry you were offended by his comment, but seriously, don’t take it to heart, man. Anyway, it’s been a long time since the Payload was up last but we do have a whole bunch of emails left over regarding how Mick Foley could be used in the WWE. First up is a Payload regular Dan from Brooklyn…

Hey guys,
Is it just me or did Mick Foley never get his revenge for the Vince firing thing. Wasn’t the original plan for WrestleMania a Foley/Vince No DQ match? Isn’t Vince McMahon the current ECW Champion? Isn’t there a supposed ECW ppv coming up in June…
Vince, with Umaga, and Shane dominate ECW recruiting the New Breed as his bodyguards. Lashley demands his rematch but Umaga attacks and they play up the injury angle to eliminate him as a contender. To really rub it in the face of ECW he challenges the Innovator of Violence, Tommy Dreamer and just when Tommy hits the DDT, Umaga destroys him and Vince gets another cheap win. RVD tells the other originals that its time to do something crazy. Next week the Originals open in the ring and call out Vince. They tell him they will put it all on the line. If Vince wants to kill the ECW legacy he can do it at One Night Stand. They will pick one Original and if Vince beats that wrestler at One Night Stand they will all quit; but if Vince loses he loses the ECW Title and cannot appear on ECW television again. Vince agrees and the Originals start laughing. Vince demands to know which one he faces and then CACTUS JACK comes out and attacks Vince from behind. This leads to a series of Jack, RVD, Dreamer, Sandman and Sabu vs. Umaga, & New Breed before the ppv where Foley wins the ECW Title.
He can then announce that he came back to get revenge on Vince and not for the title and can surrender it for a tournament where Punk beats Burke to win it.

Dan: I really like this idea. It just makes so much sense, plus it would open up the opportunity for Foley/Umaga matches which could be awesome and gives the Originals a decent rub. Of course it has a few problems like the fact that half the Originals may be gone soon but that’s not Dan’s fault. I think there’s probably a better way for Foley to drop the title, because a guy like Burke could get a big rub from beating Mick for the title as opposed to him just giving it up. Solid idea here though.

Matt: Dan, I agree completely that this idea makes sense. I was kind of wondering myself what happened to that Vince/Foley angle. It just seemed to disappear. I was thinking it would come back around WrestleMania time but I guess Vince found a bigger money maker in the Trump Angle. Aside from the recent firings of some ECW originals, I love the idea of involving Foley with them, in fact the recent firings may make the transition easier. Certainly the New Breed going over a Foley led originals would make the New Breed look great.

Rob: My only problem with this is that it immediately buries the Originals currently there. I mean, I know that’s already happening on a week to week basis, but bringing Foley in like this is them saying “Clearly we suck at this, so let’s go get a retired wrestler to do the job for us! There’s no shame in quitting guys!” Having said that, Foley coming back as Cactus and getting a huge match at ONS would make serious money.

Dan: Next up is Matt Ayers;

Hi my names matt ayers and I have an idea for foley
Raw after backlash
Mick Foley comes out to open the show ” Hey! Its great to be in (insert random city name in for cheap pop.) you know a couple of weeks ago it felt great to do something for the not so fortunate. That’s something that I think raw is missing now a days. People here care to much about themselves” foley is then cut off by Melina and Johnny Nitro. Melina grabs the mic from Foley.
“Foley shut up you make me sick. Nobody in this arena cares what you have to say. Hell how do you even have a job because last time I saw you, you were on your knees kissing vince mcmahons ass and getting fired. Me and Nitro don’t give a damn what you do to make your self feel better now that you are out of a job. So just shut up and go back to your little pathetic life because I am the wwe womens champion and nitro is the greatest wrestler this generation has ever seen.” Foley starts to walk out of the ring but then turns around and decks Nitro with a punch. Nitro and Melina roll out of the ring and run up the ramp. Foley grabs the mic ” Nitro you are the luckiest man alive if I was instated I would kick you little arragant ass!” Foley leaves the ring looking rather pissed off.
Next raw
Nitro runs into the new ECW champion vince mcmahon backstage nitro looks vince in the eye and says ” vince I know what your thinking man, what in the hell Is the deal with raws intercontinental champion, besides of course the fact that Johnny Nitro isnt champion. Well don’t worry about it vince I will gladly clear up that problem if you give me the chance.” Vince looks rather pleased with that idea.” Nitro I like you, you have some ruthless agression and I like that kind of stuff. So tonight if you pin santito samerella then you will get a shot at the intercontinental champion next week.
Nitro vs. Samerella
5 minute match that ends when Nitro gets a roll up with the tights thanks to a distraction from melina.
Next raw
Nitro vs. Santito for the Intercontinental championship.
Back and forth 13 minute match that ends when Nitro distracts the ref and Melina hits Santito with a low blow and Santito walks right into a super kick from Nitro for the 3 count. Vince comes out and slaps a downed Marella. And shakes Nitros hand. Vince grabs the mic ” Nitro atta boy! And because you have done such a good job I have decided to reward you even more. Because tomorrow night on ecw you get to face the former ecw champion bobby lashley 5 days before I have to defend my title at judgement day.” Nitro looks horrified but nods his head as to not piss off vince. “and for the love of god get this piece of garbage out of my ring” Nitro picks up Marella but before he can do anything Mick Foley hits the ring with a steel chair and runs Nitro and Mcmahon off. Foley checks on Marella as raw comes to a close.
Ecw
Nitro vs. Lashley
6 minute match that ends when Foley hits the ring and clothslines Nitro out of the ring causeing a disqualification. Foley throws Nitro into the steps and walks up the asile as ecw fades to black.
Judgment day
Bobby lashley vs. Vince Mcmaho ecw title no dq
18 minute brutal match as Vince gets destroyed. Shane runs out but gets destroyed as well. Umage comes out but Lashley destroys him with a wickid chairshot. Nitro runs out with a chair and swings for lashley who ducks and Nitro ends up hitting vince. Lashley throws Nitro out of the ring and hits Vince with a spear for the win and the title.
Raw after judgement day
Backstage Nitro tries to apoligize to vince but vince is far to pissed to listen to anything Nitro has to say ” Nitro shut the hell up, how could you screw this up for me? You know what as of right now I am officaly reinstating Mick Foley!” vince walks out as Nitro is shocked.
Next raw
Nitro comes out with melina and grabs the mic ” Mick man you know that it was never personal between us right?” Foley’s music hits and he comes out to the ring. Nitro extends his hand. Foley takes it but as soon as he does Nitro low blows him. But it doesn’t affect foley. Foley reaches into his pants and pulls out a cup. Foley nails Nitro with the mic and throws him out of the ring. ” Nitro you arent as smart as you like people to think you are. What, you don’t think anyone has tried that one on old Mick before? Nitro im just gonna get down to business me and you one on one for that intercontinental championship at ECW one night stand!” foley walks up the asile as raw goes to a commercal.
As raw comes back Foley is leaving the arena but before he can walk out the door Nitro jumps him and thows him into the door and hits him with a steel chair. Nitro runs foleys head into the door and stands over the fallen Foley. ” Mick as far as you challenge goes… I accept!
ECW one night stand Intercontinental championship
Nitro vs. Foley
Epic 25 minute match
Ref gets knocked out and Nitro grabs a chair and Nails Foley in the head with it. Nitro picks Foley up and nails him with a superkick as the ref comes to. Nitro covers but Foley somehow kicks out at two. Nitro hits another superkick for the win.

Dan: Nitro feuding with Foley is a great option, but I’m not keen on the involvement of Vince/Lashley.

Matt: >: I think this might be the way to do things minus the involvement of Lashley, although it has similarities to the current Vince/Lashley program. I would say stick with Nitro, involve Vince in another way and forget about Lashley altogether.

Rob: You’re burying Santino right after his ‘miracle-upset’ push and Foley’s return to ECW should be huge, like in Dan’s earlier suggestion, not just a run-in. Nitro/Foley does make a lot of sense, but for whatever reason I’m not that high on it.

Dan: Here’s an interesting concept from NULL