The Furious Flashbacks – XPW After the Fall

The Furious Flashbacks – XPW After the Fall

Highlighted by Sabu’s feud with The Messiah

I used to get a bunch of cheap laughs doing XPW shows from back in the day. Mainly because they were a low rent, low talent version of ECW. However when ECW went out of business in 2001 there were a lack of places for their former talent to go. So a lot of them accepted bookings in XPW, despite their publicised feud back in 2000. Money’s money, right? This is a collection of matches rather than a full show, which is probably for the best because most of XPW’s shows were a disaster.

Hosts are Kriss Kloss & Larry Rivera.

Westsiders v Steve Rizzono/Kid Kaos

Kaos turned heel when he was the only clear cut babyface on XPW’s cards. Think RVD without the insane high spots and inventiveness. Big Rott & Chronic used to be called the “West Side Niggaz” but apparently that didn’t go over too well. They work some really elaborate spots, which would have gone over well in ECW if they weren’t so shitty looking. Kaos hits a frogsplash for 2. Yanno, because RVD does it. He brings the chair in and a “Van Daminator” sort of happens. Rizzono eats a Hurricane Kick though and the Westsiders win. ¼*. Literally all spots. Amateur hour.

We clip to either another match featuring the same wrestlers or a second fall? I’m not sure. We clip ahead again and Public Enemy turn up, which is hilarious because XPW have to pump in generic rock music to cover their music. So its an impromptu three-way? Clips keep happening but the music doesn’t stop. This is just a highlight reel or one of those “best of Wrestler X” videos you get on YouTube.

Public Enemy v Westsiders

This is clipped too. Sometimes Rocco Rock was able to compensate for other wrestlers shortcomings by just being awesome. However sometimes he just doesn’t bother. This is the latter. Grunge just barely elbow drops Big Rott through a table. It had to be pre-cut because he barely even made it to the table. As the crowd brawl continues past five minutes the Pitbulls run in to make it another impromptu three-way. Oh that’s so original and innovative. I’ve never seen a company run the exact same angle in consecutive matches. The same shitty generic music kicks in. This match is a bunch of brawling with six people involved. That’s the match. Grunge takes a “superbomb” through a flaming table. By which I mean his head winged the edge of it. You’d think that was the finish but no. The massive steel X gets pushed over but everyone moves. The bell rings and there’s no finish. ¼*. Crowd rightfully chants “bullshit”. Garbage.

XPW Title History

We then go to a featurette entitled “XPW Title History” where they try to get over Big Dick Dudley and John Kronus. Damien Steele originally wanted the title and hired Kronus to protect him in a title battle royal. Steele backdropped him out when Kronus turned on him and won. Dick Dudley won it off him thanks to a goofy fake blindness angle. Lizzy Borden stripped him of the title because he used to be in jail. Candido turned up to challenge for the vacant belt although the focus was more on Sunny. So from that, naturally, Jake Lawless pinned Mike Modest to win the vacant title. Lawless then ‘did an Andre’ and sold the belt to Damien Steele. Candido pinned Steele in a non-title match. Candido, recovering his form, then won a falls count anywhere match for the belt. I’ve seen and reviewed that match and its ok. Candido then immediately signed for WCW and stopped turning up to XPW events. Sad really as XPW put all their eggs into the Candido & Shane Douglas basket. Unfortunately the entire of Shane’s anti-Flair promo is on here. Then we bizarrely cut to Westsiders Vs Pitbulls in a cage. Like that has anything to do with what we’ve been looking at. It must be a contractual obligation to show Westsiders have shit matches with all XPW’s other tag teams. The clips are atrocious. Sometimes clipping to the same thing twice in a row. People are run into the cage. This includes Westsiders’ manager “Dollarz”. Big Rott kicks a chair into Pittbull #2’s head for the win.

XPW title – Sabu (c) w/Josh Lazie v Terry Funk w/Rob Black

Oddly enough the XPW title history didn’t get as far as Sabu winning the strap. Funk starts out crazy by attacking the cameraman and tipping over the timekeepers table. For those who watched WCW in 2000 and thought Funk looked broken down in that run; that’s nothing compared to this match. I feel bad for him because he’s such a shadow of his former self but he won’t retire (again). Funk tries for a piledriver off the top but lands back first on the chair and Sabu on top of him. Sometimes people attempt retarded moves and they end up botched. Its not really a shock. Sabu blows the triple jump to follow that. They brawl out the entranceway and the crappy XPW set falls over. Sabu actually cuts his hand on some of the badly constructed set. This company is a walking lawsuit. Sabu tries to moonsault Funk through a table but it doesn’t move so he legdrops instead and Funk moves. Was that shit actually planned that way? Rob Black sets up the flaming branding iron but Sabu hits him with a fireball first. Funk, perhaps startled, doesn’t sell it at all. He drops the iron, Sabu hits him with the iron, and gets the pin. ½*. Botched and garbage-y even for these two. They had better matches in ECW where it seemed to matter more.

BACKSTAGE Josh describes Funk’s career as “one big failure after another”. Keeping in mind he and Sabu are supposed to be babyfaces. I think.

Tracy Smothers w/Rob Black v Kid Kaos

Loser leaves XPW. Kaos is in his hand slapping babyface mode. The production issues continue as they used copyrighted entrance music so generic noise-rock plays over it thus drowning out the crowd and the introductions. At least they manage to commentate over it. Smothers, not bothered about his XPW deal, spends most of the match time-wasting. Kaos is more eager to actually win but doesn’t communicate well thus causing a few awkward spots. They try to do some standing counters but its so ugly. And there’s no selling at all. Kaos pops off a few rana’s, one of them actually clean. Smothers breaks out the leaping back-kicks, which look awful but you have to commend the attempts to have a wrestling match in this company. Kaos gets 2 off a Blockbuster because stealing Buff Bagwell’s finisher is hardcore. Kaos barely gets over on the Sliced Bread #2 for the win. Smothers had to power him over himself. *1/2. Some competent wrestling, which is a switch, but the mistakes were obvious. Both guys were overreaching, which is almost as infuriating as Sabu & Funk trying spots that were beyond them. All Kaos & Smothers wanted to do with have a wrasslin’ match and they still couldn’t make it interesting without making mistakes.

Axl Rotten v Supreme

This is about what you’d expect. As Larry Rivera calls it; “theez is thee violent crap”. Its XPW’s worst wrestler against ECW’s worst wrestler. Both guys bleed all over the place and Supreme takes a few bumps in thumbtacks. Then the barbwire comes into play. Thing is; good hardcore matches build up to big spots. Usually incorporating some form of wrestling. These two just come out and hit each other in the head with crap, one piece of garbage after another. Its completely without any structure. If you like seeing two fat guys bleed all over each other this is the shit though. The fans deserve this match because they’re enjoying it and are wiping their shirts on the wrestlers to get the blood. You have to be pretty fucking dumb to want Axl & Supreme’s blood on you. Its like going to the doctor’s and requesting a healthy dose of hepatitis. Then, as if to mock itself, the worst spot ends the match. Supreme falls off the middle rope, landing on his feet, and drops a chair on Axl in the process. And that is the pin. DUD. Absolute garbage from start to finish. I’m sure the heavy bleeding was appreciated by the idiots at ringside.

XPW title – Sabu (c) w/Josh Lazie v Chris Candido w/Tammy Sytch

Sadly Candido tailors his style to suit the crowd rather than putting on a good match and hoping they can shut up and watch it. Candido’s high spots are at least clean though. An early super rana is the cleanest spot on the DVD. Sabu tries a chair assisted rana, which is significantly less clean. Candido is able to cover for a lot of Sabu’s shortcomings. Like when Sabu blows a sunset flip and Candido just steps into it. Typically Rob Black runs out here and hits Sabu with the title belt. Not that he enjoys being the centre of attention or anything. Sabu tables himself for a near fall. Another table falls over. How many tables has Sabu broken just setting up spots? Candido has to hold himself in place for a legdrop and that’s the finish. No wonder they were so eager to get that table spot. *1/4.

POST MATCH Abdullah the Butcher shows up. This gives Lazie a fine opportunity to blade himself on camera.

Axl Rotten v Abdullah the Butcher

Rivera wagers there won’t be a single wrestling move in this match. Abby goes after Axl with the fork, which is at times fun but mostly just to cover for Axl fumbling around with his blade. Axl retorts with a staple gun and Abby has so much scar tissue that he pisses blood immediately. Abby chokes Axl out with a coathanger thus causing an actual DQ in XPW. I never thought I’d see the day. DUD.

The Messiah/Vic Grimes v Sabu/Homeless Jimmy w/Josh Lazie

Rob Black’s Army brings its own ref: “Dorko Dude” Kevin Kleinrock and Grimes disposes of Patrick Hernandez. It starts out as a handicap match having Sabu 1 on 2. Sabu’s XPW title is on the line. Crowd wants Sandman as Sabu’s partner. Kleinrock openly cheats and assists the heel team. Rivera is entertaining claiming various different reasons for the collusion. My favourite being his attention to fashion trends and “removing lint” from Grimes’ leg. Which accidentally puts it under the ropes in the process. This allows Sabu to be worked over extensively. That is until Homeless Jimmy shows up through the crowd. HOT TAG TO HOMELESS JIMMY! Knowing XPW I’m shocked he doesn’t immediately turn heel. Jimmy botches his first clothesline but apologetically connects properly on a second one. Naturally Jimmy gets heat on him because he’s a jobber. He fakes a hot tag and bails for plunder instead. He made his own save even if he should have been disqualified for it. Jimmy’s crap ends up going against him. Which is good storytelling because he should have gotten a hot tag when he had the chance. Jimmy counters out of Godsmack but gets the DVDDT instead. The heels don’t bother pinning, which is the first really stupid thing they’ve done. Sabu finally gets the hot tag and drops the Arabian Facebuster for 2. Or it would be if Kleinrock could be bothered to count. Jimmy takes out Grimes with a bulldog on the shopping cart but Grimes no sells it and dumps Jimmy face first on the cart. Good job he’s homeless because he’ll only be able to eat soup after that spot. Powerbomb on the cart. Ok, now he’s dead. Sabu tries to submit Messiah with the camel clutch but Kleinrock isn’t even looking. Triple Jump Moonsault would surely finish if Kleinrock was in the ring, which he isn’t. Grimes meanwhile is finding different ways to kill Jimmy…BUT HE’S ALREADY DEAD. He’s already dead. Jimmy actually counters on the bleachers and suplexes Grimes off it through the merch table. I figure the finish must be due soon because this thing has been going for like 30 minutes. Sabu triple jumps into the crowd as he sees Grimes returning. Then Jimmy hits him with a plancha too. They’ve gone way past the point where the match should be over. Grimes tables himself with Lazie saving Sabu. Messiah gives up to a half crab but Kleinrock isn’t watching. Sabu hits a super rana onto a chair but Kleinrock refuses to count the pin. Rob Black takes a chair shot off Sabu. Arabian Facebuster through a table on Grimes. Its over but Kleinrock gets “pulled out of the ring” by Lizzy Borden. Another Arabian Facebuster and Lazie forces Kleinrock’s hand down on the three count for Sabu to retain. **1/2. I liked it up until a point but this went on for 40 MINUTES. They didn’t blow too many of their big spots and they brought together a lot of storyline. For XPW this was really good and Heyman-esque booking mixed in with Austin-McMahon Attitude stuff.

POST MATCH, as if this wasn’t already long enough, New Jack turns up to continue his feud with Vic Grimes.

XPW title – Sabu (c) v The Messiah

Jesus, I am totally burned out after that last match. They plough through this match at 100mph. Its like the abbreviated version of the last match. Table spot, super rana, triple jump etc. Messiah even COUNTERS the triple jump by tripping Sabu up into the chair. And he ducks Sabu’s shitty corner clothesline. Messiah is probably my favourite XPW wrestler. Sabu tries his springboard dropkick and Messiah dodges that too. Fantastic. Messiah derails his own strategy by stopping off to mock Sabu, which gets him flattened into the crowd and Sabu follows with the Triple Jump Planchaaaaa. Sabu tries to get too complex and hit a triple jump DDT through a table, which breaks. If this was a WWE PPV that’d be the finish and a double stretcher job. Messiah considers it but gets thrown back in for the Triple Jump Moonsault…for 2. Rob Black saves. Lazie goes after Lizzy Borden. WATCH OUT FOR YA THUMBS! Rob Black jumps him, which distracts Sabu and allows Messiah to hit a low blow and the GODSMACK for the win and the title. **3/4. That was actually pretty good especially with Messiah’s countering in the early going.

POST MATCH Patrick Hernandez disagrees with how fast Kevin Kleinrock’s count was at the finish. So the match must continue? Why didn’t Kleinrock just count at the normal pace? Sabu was out. Sabu splashes Messiah through a table with help from Lazie. The Dusty Finish costs the match an entire star and leaves an incredibly sour taste in the mouth. *3/4.

POST, POST MATCH The Rob Black Army comes in and puts boots to Sabu & Lazie. New Jack (complete with overdubbed music) makes the save.

I’m well aware there’s a longer version of this DVD but I only have the single disc so this is where we finish.

The 411: I’ve seen far worse shows (and comps) from XPW before. This is confusing and awful in equal measures but the last two matches are really XPW at its best. If **1/2 isn’t your idea of a good way to spend 40 minutes then you should probably skip everything XPW has ever done though. And that isn’t hyperbole.
Final Score:  5.0   [ Not So Good ]