The Happy-Go-Sucky Wrestling Report: 02.18.09

Confession Time!

So here is how a typical Happy-Go-Sucky Report is written. Around 3pm, I start scouring websites and finding news bits that I feel that I can hold a discussion about. Once I hunt out about 10 of those, I narrow it down to the ones I feel I can talk about the most, while the rest are typically put into the “Rapid Fire” section of the column. On a normal basis, this column is typically written and finished around 9:30 or 10pm. Because I’m an old fart that turns into a pumpkin at midnight.

What’s this got to do with anything? Because all week I have felt awful about not being able to cover Captain Charisma’s amazing return to the WWE last week. It sucks having a life sometimes but that’s the price you pay for living. But now that I’ve found closure, my conscious is clear and I’m ready to rassle! Cue banner!

News: Christian made his return to the WWE last Tuesday.

Happy: This may be the greatest return to an organization that nobody ever saw. The timing was perfect. The commentary was spot on. (By the way, I counted three 3 TNA references from Striker and Grisham, including use of the word “Impact” “Instantly Classic” and “Against All Odds”.) And of course Christian’s promo against Jack Swagger was, what else? Classic.

Christian returning right before Wrestlemania is a great way to get people interested in all 3 of WWE’s shows for a change. Raw and Smackdown typically write themselves onto the card for Mania, but ECW hasn’t ever actually been well represented at the greatest show of them all. If you think back, two years ago, ECW’s only match was the ECW Originals vs. Elijah Burke’s New Breed (The ECW Champion Bobby Lashley was wrestling Umaga that night.). Then last year, there was the brief battle royale that led to Kane winning the ECW Title (the first time it had ever been defended at Mania) over Chavo in a mere 9 seconds. That’s all the Wrestlemania time the ECW Title has ever seen. 9 seconds. It took you longer to read this massive paragraph.

Christian’s ECW debut is great for many reasons. One, the promos we will hear between him and Jack Swagger will be golden over the next couple of weeks. Not to mention I expect Finlay to be involved in their match at Wrestlemania as well, so Christian picking on Hornswaggle will be hilarious too. But the idea of Christian getting into the ring and wrestling the likes of Jack Swagger, who is quickly becoming becoming a great champion, and Finlay, who always has been a hell of a wrestler at Wrestlemania, I truly feel that the ECW Title, the WWE version that is, will get its rightful place on the Mania card and will be a match that will pay off for the painful year that has been ECW.

Go Sucky: The common argument here is why on earth did the WWE send Christian to ECW? I could answer that with a couple of shallow minded responses like, “That’s what 3 years in TNA will get ya!” But I won’t do that. The only response I can come up with is that ECW is DESPERATELY in need of SOMETHING to pull it out of the mundane. The reason I didn’t bother watching ECW live last Tuesday night is because it simply bores me. I watch it on my DVR, and fast forward through that which does not amuse me. Typically, the 60 minute broadcast takes me about 10 minutes to watch. If that. And I usually don’t watch it til late Wednesday night or sometimes even Thursday. With Christian around, I suddenly want to watch it live again!

Still, with Wrestlemania coming around, Christian showing up to feud with Edge would have given some old school wrestling fans something to think about. I’ve seen the idea tossed around of having Christian and Jeff vs. Edge and Matt at Mania, which would have been great, but apparently not great enough. Instead, I guess we’ll get the tried and done John Cena vs. Edge. Because we’ve only seen that a million times. So what’s one more?

News: If MyNetworkTV goes under, the current backup plan for WWE Smackdown is to move to WGN.

Happy: Wow, suddenly the idea of the WWE airing WWE Superstars on WGN seems like a genius idea. In some ways, I wonder if the WWE came up with the idea for Superstars knowing that MyNetworkTV would eventually become an “Epic Failure”. (Sorry, had to do it.)

Regardless, to me, MyNetworkTV going out of business and off the air would be the best thing that could happen to Friday Night Smackdown in terms of reaching a broader audience. Let’s face it, MyNetworkTV isn’t doing Smackdown any favors by surrounding it with old, syndicated programming that nobody else will air. That’s not going to draw new fans to the show. And the show’s ratings are already abysmal. So with no help from the network to help increase your ratings, Smackdown is destined to stay exactly where it is. Either that, or the rating will drop, and never have the capacity to rise again.

Smackdown moving over to WGN gives you a broader audience. True, WGN isn’t exactly putting out a lot of new content lately, but more people watch, get, and are familiar with WGN than MyNetworkTV. Not to mention the boost this could give WWE Superstars when it begins this spring.

Go Sucky: Smackdown has barely had time to settle in to MyNetworkTV, and now there’s already talk of moving it to another network. Let’s think about poor Smackdown for a minute. In the last few years, its gone from UPN, to CW, to MNT, and now possibly to WGN. If you’re the WWE and Vince McMahon, at some point you might begin to realize that Smackdown is not the network God send that you might think it is. It’s like the step child that nobody wants. ECW has always had the same home. Raw has only had two homes. Smackdown is all over the place.

On top of that, WGN is more regional in larger markets. There will be preempts galore! And with all those preempts, even though your viewing audience may be broader, the rating will be tough to calculate when Smackdown is aired at 10 different times in 10 different markets over the weekend.
It just seems like poor Smackdown just can’t catch a break anymore.

News: Edge won the World Heavyweight Title while Triple H won the WWE Title at No Way Out.

Happy: The WWE pulled out all the stops at No Way out and this past Monday on Raw. The week after No Way Out is always an important week given that the next pay-per-view is Wrestlemania. So what better to confuse the hell out of us wrestling know-it-alls than by keeping the Royal Rumble winner out of the World Title match and have both titles switch hands, then switch brands!

That’s exactly what I expect to happen here. And this could probably be the best thing to happen to Raw and Smackdown in a LONG time. Are you paying attention?

John Cena and Triple H are going to switch brands!

Not for good anyway. At least, not yet. The draft is almost right after Wrestlemania this year. But yes, I expect we will be seeing a lot more John Cena and Randy Orton on Smackdown while we will we see a lot of Triple H and Edge over on Raw. Those 4 are the biggest names in wrestling right now, so it would seem pretty genius to me to make sure that no matter what show you’re watching (unless it’s ECW of course), you will have one more reason to buy Wrestlemania to see Triple H vs. Randy Orton or John Cena vs. Edge.

The end result will hopefully end with Triple H back on Raw, and John Cena heading over to Smackdown for a fresh start. That’s something to be excited for, especially if you’re one MyNetworkTV.

Go Sucky: Unfortunately, this situation can be very confusing to the normal wrestling fan. And by normal I mean not you, because you’re reading 411wrestling.com. That makes you a rabid wrestling fan. Not to mention that by the time that Wrestlemania comes around, which isn’t until that first Sunday in April, these matches will literally be shoved down our throats.

On top of that, will anyone actually pay the 60 or 70 bucks it costs now to buy Wrestlemania to watch Cena fight Edge for the Nth time? Or how about Triple H vs. Randy Orton? That’s so 2004!

What really bugs me about the title switches is the amount of switches we have seen since last year’s Wrestlemania. The WWE Title alone has switched hands at the last 4 pay-per-views and the World Heavyweight Title has switched at them all since Cyber Sunday minus John Cena defnding against JBL at the Royal Rumble. And that’s not even about half of the title changes we’ve seen! It’s incredible! I used to get excited about reading about a title change, but now, whenever I hear about a new WWE champion, a part of me gets disappointed as I respond to myself with “Again”?

At this point, a title change at Wrestlemania won’t mean nearly as much as it might have been had the champion been a champion for the last year, or even the last 4 or 5 months. But as of right now, Shelton Benjamin is the longest reigning champion, (out of both the WWE and TNA by the way) with the U.S. Title and you know that title isn’t going to be defended at Wrestlemania.

News: Ric Flair is headed to Ring of Honor after signing a multi even deal.

Happy: I’m happy to hear that Ric Flair is off making money and being a great ambassador to the sport that we all love. I’m even more glad that Ric Flair is lending his popularity and his name to a company that really has earned the respect of a lot of true wrestling fans over the past few years in Ring of Honor. And the timing couldn’t have come better.

HDnet is probably soaked with excitement at the thought of Ric Flair showing up on their newest live, original program. Knowing the cult following that follows Ric Flair wherever he goes, this will be a great way for Ring of Honor to begin their new television campaign. Because when you think about it, of course we all know who Nigel McGuiness, Bryan Danielson, Austin Areis, and The Briscoes are, but does the rest of the wrestling world know? Not quite.

Does the wrestling world know Ric Flair? I dare you to find one fan who doesn’t and I will reward you with a cookie.

Go Sucky: Not even a week after his appearance on Raw, why would Ric sign his name on a contract for another organization when it would almost seem crystal clear that he is being slated to be at Wrestlemania? Apparently it’s not so crystal clear!

On top of that, Ring of Honor needs to make sure they stay clear of the same stunts that TNA tends to pull in signing big names.

If you’re getting your hopes up that you will see Ric Flair go 1-on-1 with Bryan Danielson, the Figure Four vs. The Cattle Mutilation, keep dreaming. And what a great dream that would be. Nonetheless, it’s farfetched. ROH needs to constantly focus on the wrestling part of the show like they always have. Cashing in on Flair is ok to get things rolling, but once that ball is rolling, they need to cast Ric, and any other has been to the side and keep doing what they have done over the last 6 or 7 years and bring a new breed of wrestling to wrestling fans across the world.

News: There is talk in ROH that they may use Val Venis, Jimmy Rave, Paul London, and Petey Williams.

Happy: Jimmy Rave has been in ROH before and would be able to return to welcoming fans. We discussed a couple of weeks ago about the potential of Val Venis in ROH as a trainer and even an on air authority role.

Paul London and Petey Williams are a new concept. Last week, it seemed like all the big news came down after I had published this column. Petey Williams’ departure from TNA was discouraging for many TNA fans and to the TNA locker room. Petey Williams is a fantastic athlete. Perhaps maybe he’s not that great of an entertainer, as in, not the best on the mic. But a place like ROH where Petey could simply focus on wrestling to make him a star could be a great home for him.

The same goes for Paul London. Paul London for so long has been told by the WWE to not do the wrestling that he’s best at. He’s a high flyer by nature. In ROH, Paul would hopefully be allowed to fly again and entertain us in a way that the WWE wouldn’t allow him to do.

Go Sucky: The thing here is that while seeing all these guys face off with some ROH’s best, ROH has to be careful not to become the new TNA in hiring not only WWE castoffs, but TNA’s castoffs as well. That’s like eating the remains of something that ate the remains of something else.

One of the things ROH has garnered respect for was showcasing independent talent from all across the world. If you take that away, you basically have a developmental territory for TNA. So ROH REALLY needs to be careful and stick true to its roots in order to have any chance at all to survive a year in the national spotlight.

News: Lita was backstage last weekend at WWE shows. She has openly been talking about returning to the WWE on a schedule that wouldn’t force her to be on the road full time.

Happy: Come on, you know you’ve missed yourself some Lita. How much fun would it be to see Lita come in and not only get involved in the feud between Jeff and Matt Hardy, but cause a stir between Edge and Vicky Guerrero?

It’s tough to imagine a role with the WWE where you don’t go on the road full time. However, if Lita were to get in the ring every once in awhile, it would be nice to see her get in the ring with some of the WWE Women’s talent that came around after she left. Lita wrestling the likes of Beth Phoenix, Melina, Natalya, Maryese. I’d say Mickie James too but didn’t they wrestle when she was stalking Trish? Anyway, an every now and then dose of Lita wouldn’t poison the system.

Go Sucky: Outside of her involvement with The Hardy’s and Edge, there really isn’t a place for Lita now. Women’s wrestling is not the same as it was when Lita was involved. Not to mention that toward the end of her last run, she just wasn’t the same Lita as she was before her neck surgery.

Rapid Fire

News: The next anthology set the WWE will release is Survivor Series.

Finally, the last of the big 4 gets some respect! Next after that, the complete anthology of ECW “December To Dismember”!

News: TNA has signed “Dark Angel” Sarah Stock.

I dunno who she is, but she worked in SHIMMER. That usually holds well with me.

News: Bryan Danielson will no longer be able to use Europe’s “Final Countdown” as his ring entrance anymore.

Instead he will come to the ring to Los Del Rio’s “Macarena”. Come on, don’t think for one second if Bryan Danielson came out to the ring and did the Macarena that you wouldn’t laugh….then change the channel. Seriously though, music royalty fees suck. This is the price ROH will have to pay for becoming “mainstream”.

News: The Rock will team up with Zac Efron in a live action Johnny Quest movie.

And you thought Mankind was his worse partner…

And that’s gonna do it my friends. And since it was pointed out that I didn’t do this last week, until next time, I doubly wish that your lives be Happy…or Go Sucky!