The Happy-Go-Sucky Wrestling Report: 11.05.08

Working in radio, writing wrestling columns on Election Day has become a bit of a challenge. But instead of putting it off on someone else’s shoulders, I’ve gone forward. So forgive me if this looks thrown together.

After this posting however, I am off to enjoy the end of a very historic election here in the United States and furthermore, enjoy the change that our new President elect will bring not only this country, but this world.

But you didn’t come here to talk politics, so let’s rassle!

News: Mike Adamle resigned his position as GM of Raw.

Happy: There is justice in this world. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVED the idea of Mike Adamle as GM at first. I had hoped that he would become a major heel in the business, since everyone hated him anyway. Instead, we got this guy who acted like he was hired at Burger King and promoted to manager on his first day and had no clue how to make the Whoppers.

The WWE defiantly missed its mark with Adamle as GM, but with him gone and apparently bitter at the McMahon’s, the WWE has another chance to turn Adamle into a heel manager. I think that if the WWE is hell bent on making Adamle a part of it’s broadcast, making him the manager of a major championship heel is the best role for him. Nobody is ever going to like him. No matter how hard you try. He was hated as a commentator. He was hated as a GM. So the next best thing you could do is make him a manager.

On top of that, Raw has gone completely flat since Adamle became the GM. I believe you can blame the WWE on the fact that wrestling fans associate positions of power in the company with either a face or a heel, mostly heels. So when Adamle was announced as GM, we all assumed he was going to be a bad guy. Nobody knew how to react to someone who was being “fair”. So naturally, the booking became somewhat confusing. WHY were these matches being made? There was no spite. No revenge. The WWE tried to change it up and the audience just isn’t ready for that yet.

Go Sucky: Now for the next few weeks, we get to be drug through another long, dramatic GM hunt. This last one was a really huge letdown. It’s hard to believe that anyone GOOD is available to become the new GM of Raw.

Now outside the good and the bad, who do you believe could become the next GM of Raw? The old standby Mick Foley is basically the GM of TNA now. Shane? Stephanie? Vince? Ric Flair? Or….could THIS be the storyline where we get the return of Stone Cold Steve Austin. It’s been rumored. The storyline fits. Stone Cold stunned Randy Orton. Orton could be the Legend Killer at Wrestlemania. It could happen.

News: Chris Jericho vs. John Cena for the World Heavyweight Championship has been announced as the main event for Survivor Series.

Happy: I am really glad they decided to put this title back on Jericho. Creatively, I was having troubles figuring out who Batista was going to feud with outside of Jericho. Batista vs. John Cena at Wrestlemania for the big gold title makes more sense, and I think the WWE will build up to that at the Royal Rumble.

Jericho vs. Cena vs. Batista becomes an even more appealing match as Survivor Series approaches. There seems to be nowhere for Batista to go lately and it’s kind of sad. It would seem that for now, Batista’s reign as a Main Eventer could go to the way side. It may be time to start using Batista as a character that gets over some new, up and comers rather than continue to give him wasteful title reigns.

Go Sucky: What’s with all the title changes lately? Is this 1998? Geez! Since C.M. Punk beat Edge for the title, it’s changed 4 times. And nearly 3 of those times have been in the last couple of months. It’s crazy. And it would seem that there’s even more changes ahead. If Cena wins at the Survivor Series, then I’d expect it to change again at The Royal Rumble or sooner. I don’t really know what the WWE has in store for the World Heavyweight Title picture right now, and I guess that really is actually a good thing!

News: Ric Flair has shot down rumors that he may be returning to the ring in Japan.

Happy: Thank goodness. Even though it was Ric himself who started the rumor, I’m glad to hear that he’s turning it down now.

Here’s the best part of this story. And you can take this with a grain of salt. But Ric Flair actually called Shawn Michaels to ask for his blessing since Ric promised Shawn his last match. Now I don’t know what HBK told Ric, but maybe he told him no. That wouldn’t seem far off from the reputation Shawn has been known for. Or maybe Shawn convinced Ric not to do it. To remain retired and not let go of the fantastic way he let go.

One way or the other, it would seem as though Ric Flair has had a change of heart about wrestling again in Japan. That doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s done for good. I think things will be really interesting when his no compete contract with the WWE is up. Will the WWE sign him to a legends contract or will Ric Flair succumb to temptation and come to TNA to face Sting one last time?

I have to admit, if TNA could put on a good storyline for Ric Flair and Sting and have them in a Loser Retires match, and somehow have them BOTH lose and BOTH retire on the same match, that would be pretty memorable, and a good way for TNA to get into the hearts of wrestling fans the way the WWE did during Flair’s Raw Farewell.

Go Sucky: He’s shooting it down but if Flair was really going to wrestle for the heck of it one last time, I’d rather him have done it in Japan. Here in the United States, a lot of us don’t exactly keep up with wrestling over there. So to have him wrestle over there, I don’t think that would have been such a bad thing to his retirement here in the United States.

On top of that, Flair deserves a good Asian farewell too. He was huge over there in his hayday. Old school wrestling fans will remember the huge crowd that poured into Korea when Flair took on Antonio Inoki. I think one last match over in the Land of the Rising Sun would have been yet another proper farewell to the biggest legend of the sport.

News: Low Ki aka Senshi received a tryout match with the WWE.

Happy: When Low Ki started in TNA as Senshi, I was a big fan. I had read about him a little from ROH fans and knew the kid was talented, and he proved all the hype right. He’s an excellent wrestler and has some exciting spots in his repertoire. The question here is, will the WWE let Low Ki be Low Ki, or will they make him “Low Key”, as in, taking the excitement out of his move set and making him a WWE drone?

Go Sucky: I can’t picture Low Ki in a WWE storyline. It’s not a knock on him, but a knock on the current WWE product. He’s a small guy and the WWE isn’t a place for small guys anymore. There’s no Cruiserweight title. The tag team division is in shambles.

And if he is signed, chances are, he’ll land in developmental hell. There are SO many good wrestlers in the WWE development system right now but no where to put them on the main roster. As we’ve noticed, the WWE has tried to put several of them on TV lately, but essentially has created a stable of Barry Horowitz and Brooklyn Brawlers.

And who could we tag him up with anyone? That leads us to our next news bit.

News: Funaki is currently working with Ricky Steamboat on the new Kung Fu Naki gimmick.

I wanted to put this in here just because I absolutely HATED the segment on Raw this past week. Why was that on my TV? Yeah sure it was great for the kids and I know that’s what the WWE is going for lately, but DAMN! It was the return of the Freak Show minus ICP, Golga, and Sable.

You know, Funaki has been on the roster FOREVER, and every year, writers like myself always write him off as a castaway or the next to be released, yet he sticks around every single time, despite never being on TV. His last big push was in 2004 when he shocked everyone and became the Cruiserweight title. With the Kung Fu Naki gimmick, it would seem as though he might actually become either a weekly wrestler or a novelty act. My guess is the latter, which is a shame since he’s apparently actually working with Ricky Steamboat. If Funaki could pick up a few things from Steamboat, he could actually become a pretty decent wrestler. Then again, it’s been so long since I’ve actually seen Funaki wrestle, I can’t remember what his strengths are or where he needs improvement.

But if this is going to turn into a dance act for guys like Golddust and *shiver* Big Dick Johnson, then I’d prefer it go back to Smackdown, where I can’t see it.

News: Evan Bourne is out for a few months with an ankle injury.

Obviously, and we say this every time, it’s never good when anyone gets hurt. And this could not come at a worse time for Evan Bourne. He was in the middle of a HUGE push. The fact that he got voted into Cyber Sunday and has had a lot of face time on Monday Night Raw, Bourne was becoming a huge face in the WWE in a quick amount of town. But just as quickly as his rise to fame, could be his drop to obscurity. In the four months or so it will take Evan Bourne to return, will there be a storyline or a place for anyone to care about? Or worse yet, will the WWE let him use the moves that made him so special and likely caught the attention of voters at Cyber Sunday that put him in that ECW Championship match?

I figure that people will remember him and he’ll come back to some excitement, but I don’t think anyone will care as much as they did a couple of weeks ago before he was injured.

Rapid Fire!

News: News: With Elite XC folding, Kimbo Slice’s name was recently brought up by at least one WWE writer. Vince McMahon had no real reaction to Slice’s name.

And in his first match, expect him to lose Hornswaggle in 8 seconds.

News: Raw scored a 3.0 rating for its 3 hour special.

That number would have been a bit higher but that bugaboo of a first hour brought it down a bit. I thought this episode was one of the best in a long time.

News: Jeremy Borash may get his own radio show on Sirius Satellite radio soon.

Much better than Don West getting his own radio show, wouldn’t you say?

News: Kurt and Karen Angle’s divorce has been finalized.

Anyone want to personally console her?

News: The Great Khali has apparently turned face.

I’m sorry but I haven’t been able to see Khali as a heel since watching Get Smart. Hugging Steve Carell=automatic face turn.

News: Golddust re-signs with the WWE.

Can we get him a new gold body suit? He’s starting to get his daddy’s gut in those things and it’s just…ew. Oh well. At least he’s not licking rats anymore….Or is he?

That’s it! Until next week, may your lives be Happy or Go Sucky!