The Happy-Go-Sucky Wrestling Report: 11.12.08

This would be a good week to skip on down if you don’t really care about what I have to say here, but I thought I’d start things off with a story of irony today.

This week, my local police department charged me $100 for not having my security alarm registered. I called my security system people, only to have them hang up on me. TWICE! The very next day, I leave for work, but come back because I forgot my soda of all things. I come home and a window has been busted out of my house, and of course, my alarm isn’t even going off. Yet, the police department shows up anyway.

So me, figuring my neighbors may have saw what happened, called the police and here they are to come protect me. Think again. Instead, they go two houses down and arrest an old man offering 50 bucks to people if they found his dentures.

Only in Kentucky….

Anyway, let’s rassle!

News: Rumors are pointing toward Christian Cage heading back to the WWE once his TNA contract expires.

Happy: I couldn’t be more happy for Christian. I’ve been a fan of his since his time in the Brood all the way through his Captain Charisma days. I haven’t always had nice things to say about him because of his time in TNA. And it’s not necessarily because of him, but because of what happened after he came to TNA. But we’ll get to that a little later.

This is pretty big for the WWE. Christian has been gone long enough from its product that the fans who only watch the WWE, which my estimate would be about 2.5 of the normal share they get on Raw. The WWE gains a guy who, when he left, was a potential main eventer lost in mid-card hell. But because of his time and success as a major star in TNA, he may very well be poised for an immediate rise to the main event level.

That’s not always the case however. I can only think of two guys who came over from TNA who got a semi-decent push on the WWE product, and that’s Monty Brown (Marcus Cor Von) and Ron Killings (R-Truth). I know guys like Frankie Kazarian, Mikey Batts, and Sonny Siaki were in the WWE developmental systems for awhile. I also know that CM Punk and Micki James all wrestled in TNA prior to their WWE debuts, but to my knowledge, they didn’t immediately jump ship.

What is plausible for Christian if in fact he does return to the WWE is the chance to possibly reunite Edge and Christian or better yet, have them face each other. As a tag team, I’d love to see them take on the Hardy’s again, although it’s doubtful the quality of the match would be as good as it was a few years ago.

One way or the other, this is huge news for the WWE who has lacked a major “returning star” for the last year. Chris Jericho’s return was big and is paying its dividends, but Christian’s return to the WWE could possibly trump that. It won’t be easy and certain things must happen, but it’s possible that Christian could instantly morph from the guy who made the biggest debut in TNA to the guy who made the biggest return in the WWE.

Go Sucky: Here’s the thing that irks me and has irked me about Christian Cage in TNA. I was glad to see him come over from the WWE to TNA and get used properly. He became a multiple Heavyweight Champion and had a huge following, as a face and a heel. The guy came in and basically re-shaped the landscape of TNA.

Unfortunately, when landscaping, TNA dug its hole too deep and started planting other former WWE guys in the mix. This started a trend that would eventually change TNA for the worse. It is what I once called the “Christian Paradox”. Once all the guys saw how well TNA was treating Christian and how easy the road schedule was, all the older guys who just weren’t ready to give up the limelight came into the mix. More and more veterans were signed into TNA, and more and more TNA originals found themselves asking for their release. The trend continues even as we speak.

But now TNA was so wrapped up in its veterans, we all almost forgot about Christian. TNA’s “Golden Boy”. The guy who “Re-“Started it all was now also lost in the shuffle of older veterans like Sting and Kevin Nash. And this didn’t help things for the younger guys either.

So in a nutshell, it’s easy to say “It’s all Christian’s fault!”. But it’s not. It’s TNA’s. TNA had the ONE major star they needed. He was young, charismatic, and had a huge fan following. But just like a moldy can of Pringles, TNA just couldn’t stop eating up the WWE’s garbage. So they’d dig and pick up guys who hadn’t been around in awhile and would promote them as main eventers, while in the process, destroying all that it had built its reputation on. Now instead of being a WRESTLING company, it’s nothing more than entertainment, just like its counterpart.

So it’s ironic that Christian is leaving, given his signing lead to what we have now. It’s like he came, he shook things up, then he abandoned it. Christian was the ONE GUY in TNA who I didn’t mind getting over some of the younger guys, because he was the ORIGINAL crossover. And with him gone, and the apparent dominance of the Main Event Mafia, TNA’s young future seems bleak.

News: The WWE released Elijah Burke and Kenny Dykstra.

Go Sucky: I’m going to start with the Go Sucky here because I don’t want it to seem that I’m excited that these two are gone. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

When I started writing here at 411mania, I covered the guys in OVW. Elijah Burke and Kenny Dykstra, or as I’ll come him from here on Ken Doane, were young up and comers and really making a name for themselves in the former WWE developmental territory. In fact, the first article I ever wrote on this website was about Elijah Burke where I said:

“Elijah is by far one of, if not the most athletic entertainers the WWE has in their farm system. He’s a true fighter, a former toughman champion. And he’s a true entertainer.”

All of those opinions are now known facts about Elijah Burke. He was golden on the mic and fun to watch in the ring too. This was a kid who I felt like was going to get a huge boost by being in ECW, and could possibly be the next big face of the WWE if they’d ever turn him. But they didn’t. Instead, he was used a whooping boy and rarely got the chance to show anyone what he could do as a wrestler who had success.

Ken Doane too was someone who had the potential to be huge. While he was still in the developmental systems, there was talk that this kid could become the youngest World Champion ever. He was only 18 when he started in OVW and he had a pretty quick rise to success.

But I knew the second he was placed in The Spirit Squad, the kids career was doomed. There was no way that anyone would ever forget him in the Spirit Squad nor take him seriously. Although it’s tough to say that because the WWE TRIED to push him, but he unfortunately suffered an injury that put him out for awhile. Then he feuded with Triple H and called him out several times and was buried, then suddenly wrapped up by Festus and Jesse and thus the end of his career. What a way to send out the guy who you once thought was going to be the next Youngest World Champion.

By the way, as if things weren’t any tougher on Ken Doane, his trainer was Killer Kowalski. Tough times for him and I hope to see him get back on his feet soon.

Happy: Give these guys a couple years and I expect that we will see them both back in the WWE and hopefully garnering success. These guys would probably benefit from a year or two in TNA, but don’t expect them to get huge pushes. They weren’t big enough to get a main event push in TNA and the roster is too clogged up with older veterans to get any face time. The best thing that could happen here is that they both go back to the indy’s and work for awhile. I expect that they will both spend some time in OVW ,where they grew up and trained. That right now, is the best place to showcase their abilities and determination. OVW is the ONLY independent wrestling company that the WWE still respects.

But I guess if you’re looking for a silver lining in all this, I guess some money had to be saved up for the return of Christian!

News: The WWE has officially signed Gail Kim.

Happy: Finally! This deal seems like it literally has taken the last year to complete. Gail was apparently backstage at Raw a couple weeks ago and is probably just waiting for all the lawyer mumbo jumbo to be completed before she makes her big return.

Since she was backstage at Raw, and since she’s actually a talented wrestler, one can put together that she will likely be on Raw again, which is good. Because I have to be honest, I’m pretty stoked about seeing her go one-on-one with Beth Phoenix. That should make for a really entertaining title match. Or, if she goes heel, then seeing her take on Mickie James would be a sight for sore eyes as well. One way or the other, wrestling fans like you and I should be in for a treat when she makes her return.

Go Sucky: Here’s my concern for Gail Kim. The last few weeks have seen a lot of hype for Gail Kim’s return to the WWE. Everyone that’s reading this column and this website more than likely watches TNA too. At least most of you anyway. I know there’s a few TNA haters out there and that’s ok. But TNA fan or not, you’ve probably read about how great Gail Kim has been in TNA.

But will her greatness actually be her downfall? Just like I mentioned above for Christian, everything that Gail Kim has done in TNA doesn’t mean diddly squat to Vince McMahon or anyone who’s never watched TNA, which is about 2/3rds of Raw’s audience.

With that being said, if Gail Kim is pushed as a big comeback star, is anyone going to remember her? Sure WE remember her. She won the WWE Women’s Title in her very first match. But will the current majority of the audience remember her? Doubtful.

So when she does make her return, don’t expect anything fancy, but appreciate the fact that she made it back.

News: William Regal is the new Intercontinental Champion.

Happy: I’m glad to see that the King of the Ring dividends are paying off for William Regal. Something about his “acceptance” speech on Raw made me feel like this may be the last time William Regal will wrestle in the UK. Like he may be planning on retiring or realizing he’s only one strike away from a forced retirement.
One way or the other, I’m glad to see that William Regal has some gold around his waist. The guy has more than paid his dues since screwing up on his last Wellness test. Regal as GM was far more entertaining than Mike Adamle, even if the whole blackout thing was getting annoying.

He was at that time, the most over heel on Raw. Today, it’s once again hard to take William Regal serious. It’s going to be tough to get him back to where he was, but it can be done and with the seemingly revived Intercontinental Title around his waist, it’s going to be one step at a time. But he has to commit to staying clean.

Go Sucky: Say what you will about Santino Marella, but he brought a bit of prestige to the IC title. Sure his title defenses were mostly flukes, but so where the Honky Tonk Man’s . The guy took a title that for the most part, nobody has cared about for a LONG time, and actually made it fun and interesting to watch a midcard match. I did not expect them to leave the title on him for 65 weeks, but I had hoped for a bit longer.

Regardless, as the title had to be taken off Santino and placed on Regal, I’m glad to see the IC title actually garnering interest and being rather entertaining as of late rather than being buried into the mid card. With Regal as champ, instead of funny, goofyness, we’ll probably see heel tactics, which is good, but only if Regal continues to be a heel, and gets away from that sappy speech he gave on Raw. Otherwise, that title is going right back into obscurity.

News: TNA has announced that it is formally inviting Alaska governor and former Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin to become an honorary member of “The Beautiful People,”

Happy: If there’s one thing that TNA knows how to do, it’s garner publicity. Pacman Jones was bad publicity, but any publicity is good publicity. But to get Sarah Palin to come be a part of a Pay-Per-View, would be HUGE. We’re not talking publicity on ESPN anymore, but we’re talking about the New York Times, USA Today, CNN, Fox News, wherever you get your news, TNA may just be in it.

Besides that, can you just imagine how funny it would be to see Sarah Palin either beat the crap outta Angelina Love or Velvet Sky, or low blow Cute Kipp? Better yet, can you imagine seeing Sarah Palin with a paper bag over her head? Classic!

Go Sucky: But as much fun as that would be, it’s not a good place for both TNA or Sarah Palin to get involved in. Not only that, but chances are, the angle will be cheesy and Sarah Palin will probably do a really bad job at acting. She’s not some B-list actor, as portrayed on Saturday Night Live, but a politician. The election is over.

Besides, knowing TNA, they will sign Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton and put them in a Six Sides of Steel Match. Which would be just another reason to keep the X-Division wrestlers off a pay-per-view.

Rapid Fire

News: The word going around WWE is that Evan Bourne won’t need surgery on his ankle and will return to the ring once doctors clear him.

That’s really good news for Evan Bourne. Instead of 4 months, this may take just a couple of months.

News: Last night’s edition of WWE’s Monday Night Raw scored a 3.1 cable rating, up from last week’s 3.0 rating.

That’s kind of remarkable given that Raw wasn’t even live this week.

News: TNA has already had to drop the price of its video game.

Is anyone still actually playing this game?

News: Super Crazy, Chuck Palumbo, Paul London, and Lena Yada were all released.

Not really unexpected here. Super Crazy was doomed after the Mexicools broke up. Paul London was done for when he was drafted to Raw with Brian Kendrick. Chuck Palumbo was doomed when he married Billy. And Lena w as done for when Gail Kim re-signed.

And that’s going to do it for this week! May your lives be Happy….or Go Sucky!