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The Name on the Marquee: Smoky Mountain Wrestling (4.3 and 4.10.1993)

February 6, 2016 | Posted by Adam Nedeff
Smoky Mountain Wrestling
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The Name on the Marquee: Smoky Mountain Wrestling (4.3 and 4.10.1993)  

-Originally aired April 3, 1993.

-We’re in Haysi, VA at the high school.

-Your hosts are Bob and Dutch. Dutch draws Jimmy Golden’s name for Beat the Champ.

-Bob Caudle talks to Dirty White Boy, who, through the miracle of pre-recording, is still SMW Champion. Mr. Ron Wright went to an eye specialist in New York City, who’s cured his eye problem that no hillbilly doctor in the south could take care of. The New York doctors also caught an undiagnosed case of asthmatic bronchitis that he needs more money to take care of. Dirty White Boy has his chain and says that he trains for matches by fighting off gangs in New York now.

-Jobber is wearing a red mask, so he’s probably Iron Man. Actually, a quick fact-check says that he’s Chris Candido, working as a masked jobber until SMW finds something for him do.

-Right hands by Avenger, but Morton comes back with a clothesline. Gibson sunset flips him for two. Sampson comes in without tagging and just gets knocked around a little bit before retreating. Dutch laments that the Rock & Roll Express has to stoop to double teaming, unlike the vastly superior Stud Stable.

-Elbow by Gibson, followed by a knee for two. Fuller gets caught in the bad corner and gets worked over. Avenger applies a chinlock and Sampson comes in without tagging again and works the arm over. Avenger gets cocky and knocks Morton off the ropes, but immediately pays for it because Gibson hot tags and clears the ring. Double dropkick leads the Avenger into the Age of Jobtron.

-Rock & Roll Express hypes the upcoming Smoky Mountain Street Fight. Do they know when this is airing?

-Tracy Smothers is coming to Paintsville on April 9, and he’s going to be on Dirty White Boy like a duck on a June bug.

-Dutch actually has some really good heat with this crowd. His guest is Tracy Smothers, who promises that he’s going to stick the Tennessee chain in Dirty White Boy’s butt and take the SMW Title from him when they cross paths in their big chain match. Again, the match has already happened. Smothers finishes by comparing himself to OJ Simpson, a full year before that would totally change meaning. In 1993, the comparison basically means that Tracy Smothers is hilarious in the role of Nordberg.

-Tim Horner, still smarting from being screwed out of the TV Title, is challenging Bobby Eaton to a match for $5,000.

-Eaton tries to trick Golden into thinking his bootlaces are coming part, but Golden is all, “I, too, am a heel” and refuses to look down, flustering Eaton. Golden armdrags Eaton and this crowd has elected Golden Face for this match, which is weird considering how loudly they booed Dutch.

-Side headlock by Golden, who Dutch predicts will knock Eaton “apple over tea cart” in this match. Knee to the gut by Eaton gets two, but Eaton thinks it’s three, and Golden takes advantage of the premature celebration with a slam. Golden goes back to the side headlock. Eaton rakes the eyes but gets armdragged. Golden gives him a hard right, so Cornette provides the distraction so Eaton can attack from behind and take control.

-Shot to the throat with the tennis racquet brings Robert Fuller to ringside and the fear of God has entered Jim Cornette. It may be too late as Eaton heads to the top rope for the Alabama Jam, but Golden moves and Eaton is hurt. Dropkick by Golden looks to finish, but Cornette reaches in and puts Eaton’s foot on the ropes. Fuller registers a complaint to the referee as Corny sneaks in and whacks Golden with the tennis racquet, and Eaton pins him to retain.

-Stud/Bodies brawl breaks out after the bell, with Mantell leaving the commentary table to join the fun. Stable clears the ring, then talks to Bob Caudle, promising that bad things will happen to the Heavenly Bodies in the three-team Street Fight THAT HAS ALREADY HAPPENED. I mean, I get it’s a house show so most of your audience hasn’t seen it, but you were promoting that house show with a firm date for the past month. We know it already happened. Why are you still hyping it?

-After the break, we get a rebuttal from the Heavenly Bodies. The Stud Stable is ready for a retirement home or an AA meeting, but not ready for a street fight. Bob Armstrong’s not in the building today, so Corny got a legal document complaining about the way that the Beat the Champ TV Title is handled is unfair to the champion because they have no time to prepare. There should be at least one week’s notice. Caudle turns over Dutch Mantell’s hat (Dutch is—I dunno, eating dinner on the toilet, I guess) and allows Cornette to draw the challenger’s name for next week’s match. Corny draws the name, and Bobby Eaton must now wrestle…Tom Pritchard. Cornette says that Pritchard respectfully declines, but Pritchard says hell naw, he wants the title shot.

-We go to Kevin Sullivan, who’s being fed grapes by the headless nurse who’s totally not his wife.

“Prime Time” BRIAN LEE & “White Lightning” TIM HORNER vs “The Master” KEVIN SULLIVAN & NIGHT STALKER
-Geez. Okay, they really should have just done another Mountain Mayhem or something instead of doing this show. Dutch Mantell mentions that the Japanese guy that Sullivan attacked a few weeks ago, “Kimura,” needed 125 stitches, and that the Japanese promoters may be banning Sullivan from active competition for life.

-Faces take a page out of their opponents’ playbook, attacking before the bell and brawling on the floor. Referee manages to get it down to a one-on-one in the ring. Lee works Stalker’s arm but gets elbowed down. Stalker puts the boots to Lee. Sullivan tags in and takes advantage of some ref distraction to throw Lee over the top. Stalker attacks on the floor while Sullivan sneaks a pipe into the ring and takes a shot with that.

-Lee clotheslines the Stalker down. Stalker fights back and tags Sullivan back in. Sullivan still has the piece of pipe and the referee hasn’t seen it yet. Referee argues with Tim Horner while Sullivan takes another shot at Lee with the pipe. Gutwrench-that-the-commentators-feel-is-close-enough-to-call-it-a-powerbomb (I believe that’s called a Lawrence Taylor powerbomb) by Stalker, but Lee connects with a shot to the mouth and FINALLY makes the tag. Donnybrook erupts and Horner looks like he’s going to finish off the Stalker, but another Sullivan follower—and there’s no mistaking it, it’s Taz—comes off the top rope with a splash to break the pin. But Horner sees him coming and gets out of the way. Taz splashes Night Stalker, Horner knocks Taz out of the ring, and then pins Stalker. I really cannot figure out this storyline anyway. Sullivan’s followers look like schlubs, the pre-taped bits make Sullivan look like a cartoon instead of a threat.

-Bob Caudle talks to Sullivan and his entourage. Stalker gets blamed for screwing up the ending.

-Moving on…the bulk of the April 10 episode is Bluegrass Brawl highlights, but there is one fresh match in the pile, so let’s cover that.

-Jim Cornette promises that the TV Title match will be a clean scientific match, because there is NO dissent in the Heavenly Bodies.

-Cornette enters the ring to personally discuss the rules, begging both guys to keep the fists open, not to choke, and not to pull hair. He insists on a handshake, and neither guy will let go of it. This is great.

-Tim Horner sits in on commentary to enjoy the show. Lock-up goes nowhere and Pritchard is irritated. Eaton hiptosses him. Pretty funny commentary, as Horner and Dutch Mantell both are openly laughing at Cornette’s obvious misery.

-So both guys go to Cornette for advice and Cornette doesn’t want to help either one of them. They trade arm wringers while Corny paces ringside, totally aggravated. The guys have a totally even match. Wrestling goes nowhere, so it turns into a fight, and Cornette jumps into the ring to separate them as we take a break.

-We’re back from the break, and for some reason the match is over. What the fuck? Somehow, Bobby Eaton has retained, and Cornette offers Pritchard a $1,000 check out of his own pocket just to shut him up. Why is the match over?

-We get a statement from Bob Armstrong, who says that Tom Pritchad & Stan Lane are the ONLY recognized tag team champions, and they are the ONLY ones who can defend the belts. Meanwhile, he has some further information that may be of interest to Bobby Eaton, but he’s still fact-checking it. He plans to have an announcement involving Bobby Eaton next week.

The final score: review Average
The 411
When Kevin Sullivan is doing anything but murdering jobbers and Japanese people, I'm losing interest, so the cartoony skits need to STOP right now. The tag team stuff and Eaton's title run are holding my interest, though, and that stuff was just thoroughly entertaining in this go-round.