The Pink Frenzied Freethinks 8.15.08

When pressed with the idea of covering for Meehan the first thought that came to mind was “would I have to grow out that gaudy looking handle bar mustache?” Scratching at my chin led to the realization that might just be a step up for me.

I know I missed my article this week but covering was a responsibility I was left with as Meehan handed me the keys to his house on his way out the door. That was a week ago, and all I could think of was, “screw this, I’ve got some YouTube videos I need to get’s ta’ watchin’.” Leave it to Csonka to remind me I had “responsibilities” and a “duty” to the site. So here I am, filling up the start of your weekends with news you’ve probably already read throughout the day, only recapped into a nice little bundle that will mostly be skipped over for the good, juicy pictures and videos linked about. After all, that’s all we’re good for, isn’t it? Just a slab of meat for you to gawk at – you filthy fucking perverts.

Let’s get into some things, shall we?

YOINK!

J.R. on Foley: The Images Alone Should Scar
As was seen here (Jim Ross Speaks On Mick Foley, Sunny, Cena-Batista, Orton, More), some excerpts from J.R.’s last blog entry went on to talk about various items, one of which becoming the hot button topic of the wrestling world this week: Mick Foley.

“I have not spoken to Mick Foley in over a week and was hoping I would see him at Summerslam this Sunday but that isn’t a certainty. There sure are lots of conspiracy theories about Mick on the ‘net these days and it seems that the vast majority of them appear to be uninformed and speculative. I hope to talk to Mick this week and see how things are going because I know at one time he was looking forward to the Hell in a Cell match this Sunday in Indianapolis.“

Personally, I don’t see where some of this talk about Foley and TNA is coming from. Foley’s been a whore for some time now, doing whatever he feels is necessary for the bucks to support his family. For him, the smart move is to stick with the WWE as, financially, it allows for comfort despite the schedule being restrictive and condensing. Foley moving over to the smaller company with the more flexible schedule, despite how debatable that’s becoming as of recent months, just wouldn’t provide that same financial stability and security he’s come to enjoy at the hands of Vince McMahon and his all mighty pen stroke.

If anything, talks between the two sides will probably reach an agreement that sees Foley becoming semi-active again, much in the same way that JBL was allowed clearance to return to the ring. The end result could be furthering of this Edge storyline that has played well off of his past bookings, and another potential feud with Foley.

But on the tiniest of off-hands that any of the small squabbling rumors are true, and Foley does end up South of Connecticut, taking paydays from the Pandas, then odds are we’ll get to see some rather fun bouts. Events featuring Foley versus Abyss, and Foley versus Abyss in a Monster’s Ball match, and Foley versus Abyss in a Doomsday Chamber of Blood match, and…and. Screw it. That seems to be one of the bigger ones most people concern themselves with, while some “smarks” seem to be pouncing on the buttons of Foley and Sting, or Foley and Joe. Will it be worth it in the end, though? After all, Foley has already discussed, openly, how poor his mental health has grown through the years of travel and warfare he’s put himself through and what’s best for him isn’t going to necessarily be what’s best for us fans – us blood thirsty, carnivorous fans.

There’s still the poor man’s Balls Mahoney, who’s a poor man’s Mick Foley, Necro Butcher. Though someone other than ROH is going to have to sign him up to take advantage of the fact that he’s a professional stuntman willing to take bumps most people wouldn’t even dream about their worst enemies taking. Shame he didn’t end up being an architect.

***Warning: The below video is NOT safe for work.***

Leave the Memories Alone: All Three Weeks of ‘em
I know Braden “Chris ‘Wildcat’ Harris” Walker’s release was last week’s news, but we here at 411mania, along with the rest of the internet community, would love to just sit back and relive this tragic story once more. We look back not to mourn the loss of a star that could’ve climbed the mountains, and scaled to meteoric heights untold and seen by only a select few. We look back to think of the “what if” that shall forever plagued the tremendous career of Harris, who was truly a growing star. He didn’t look to expand upwards nearly as much as he did outwards.

But we’re not the only ones looking to celebrate the tremendous WWE career of Braden Walker – oh no. In fact, we have lined up some exclusive footage straight from the WWE camp that showcases that even they cared enough to commemorate this great loss.

Act now and get your piece of Braden Walker history, yours to keep and relive forever.

And thus that wraps it up for me…

…What? Meehan already talked about this stuff last week? So then what am I going to be left with?

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Hitting Restart On the Whole Thing
More Various News: Gagne Update, Jericho To Host New Show

While some won’t care to note about the condition of one Dale Gagne, who was believed to have suffered a heart attack scare from that very link provided above, it’s good to note that Jericho can still find the time to do other things beyond wrestle as he takes on hosting duties of “Shame 2 Fame” on Fuse.

Having worked on “Best Week Ever” frequently, it’s nice to know that even Hollywood respects and understands the talents of one Chris Jericho, even while the WWE doesn’t, at times. Branching out is always a good thing especially when you’re trying to branch away from an industry that is riddled with bad image problems, a lengthy, time consuming and hazardous traveling schedule, not to mention the health benefits being practically nonexistent. While some would shun those who look to accomplish what Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson set out and achieved all those years ago, I applaud those who can make that leap and have real talents that could lead to bigger and better things.

While this isn’t a pivotal role like the Scorpion King was for Dwayne, this could still be a nice small step into the direction Jericho has been wanting for himself for quite some time. TV exposure isn’t a bad thing, even if it is playing host to a reality television show that looks to launch a new series of Amy Whinehouse skanks into the media feeding frenzy. Chris will certainly be looking at this as the launching pad to try and land him a leading role on any future projects that require a charismatically endowed Canadian/New Yorker. Though one would think that would come through WWE and their own films division – a division that has no issue putting John Cena in the same movie, twice, only repackaged with a new name and cast. I cannot wait to hear “they have a hostage – it’s my wife” reiterated in a different film starring the Bostonian superstar.

As for Jericho, while this might be a crushing second place to missing out on the lead of Scorpion King 2, a role I’m certain Randy Couture will excel at with his tremendous abilities to…punch…things? It’ll all be worth it in the end if it gets Chris just a little bit closer to the spotlight he’s so desired since his first departure. After all, wrestling can’t be everything for these guys, especially when they know they’re future in a company is limited to playing the second fiddle behind another superstar that just happened to be down with injury during the time period you were to experience the first real wave of big success in your career.

No, wrestling fans, he won’t be selling out if he does walk away from wrestling when he’s called up to star in the new Gordon Ramsey’s filmographic biography. After all, his job was always to entertain it’s just the medium to which he now performs upon that he utilizes to do his job.

It Wasn’t My Bike!

Everyone and their mother have talked about this to some extent. Randy Orton reinjures himself while riding a motorbike, reinjuring his almost healed collar bone. Three more months on the shelf for the Age of Orton, apparently, but for me, the news wasn’t so much the injury as it was Orton’s dismissal of the incident to get to the real situation here – that it wasn’t his bike he had trashed.

That’s good to know, Randall. We weren’t worried about you in the slightest. We, the fans of this industry, only cared to know of how you were repair your own bike after totally trashing it. Never did we think to question why you’d think you’d be safe behind the wheels of such a contraption, knowing you’re so close to a return to the only job you’ve yet to be fired at despite numerous complaints about your attitude. But now that you’ve cleared that up, we’re now interested to know how you plan to take care of the owner of said bike, as that’s now the real important issue.

Seriously, that was easily the funniest thing about this news – the fact that Randy just shrugged off the idea of his injury to point out that he’s glad it wasn’t his bike that was damaged in the incident. It was almost as if he were writing off any notions that he was worried about his future with the company and more concerned with letting us all know that he isn’t too worried about the vehicle he was riding during the accident. “Oh, hey, not to worry about this injury or anything, but dude, that bike? Totally trashed. Good thing it’s not mine, ha!”

Of course, I’m going to copy and paste good ole J.R.’s thoughts on this:

“Randy Orton dodged a huge bullet when he was involved in a motor cycle accident this week that will keep him out of action for 3 more months as apparently Randy’s re-broke his almost healed collar bone (clavicle). Two points, no three points, firstly and most importantly Randy is alive and can continue to be a husband and a new dad. Secondly, athletes or any one who earns their living with their bodies should use discretion when riding bikes. My suggest would be to NOT ride them until one’s career has ended but that certainly may be too old school. The risk/reward facet of riding motor cycles for athletes just seems out of balance and not in a good way. Lastly, consideration should be made to have Orton’s shoulder surgically repaired so it heals stronger and faster. Bottom line I am happy that Orton is going to be o.k. but he joins a growing list of talented wrestlers who are now on the injured list.“

I’d agree to an extent, but J.R., we’ve seen what happens to those that rush into radical surgeries that only promises quicker heal times – case in point, Kurt Angle. Sure, he’s going strong now despite some set-backs with a neck injury sustained at an Asian wrestling show back in May, and a bum knee that started upsetting him sometime around June or July, but let’s think about some of the time he actually took off to rehab old nagging injuries. Wasn’t it about a year he had shaved off after his radical neck surgery? That fusion of his spinal cord that everyone thought was so great that Tazz should get so he could continue his in-ring wrestling career; the one that seems to continue to leave Kurt with some pain, even to this day?

I get that the company wants their stars back in the spotlight faster, so they don’t have to rely on guys who aren’t ready for those responsibilities, or to lax the creative staff who is just too dumb to create strong characters that could step up in these times of need, but let’s think about the risk versus reward of these surgeries before we start thinking they’re needed for everyone. The world will not end if Randy is out an additional three months – if it does, I plan to make a full statement of apology right here on the site, even while clasped in oblivion’s grasp. The WWE will certainly do well for itself without Randy Orton being there three months earlier. This is a time to really think about whether these writers, such as Freddie Prinze Jr., are really worth the paychecks they’ve been cashing. I’ve been calling for it for ages, it seems, but let’s really see if these writers are capable of creating intricate characters that have a depth about them and a way to control the crowds emotions through the storylines and feuds they’re given to handle. After all, that’s their job, isn’t it?

So Randy, you enjoy your time off. Get to know that kid better, and be sure to avoid throwing your dinner plate at him just because it didn’t give you the right meal you had ordered from the wife. Or, throw it at the kid, but before it has a chance to turn 5 months old. I’d love to win the office pool on that one.

Okay, that should be enough reporting for the day? As for me, I think I’m going to go and sleep all the way until Sunday morning. If not, then at least I’ll try.

Meehan should be back next week, and if not, I’m sure Michael O will be more than happy to return to tell you tales of his “Csonka pubes” dental floss. I’ve been your host, and beware the kirby’s…wait, that’s probably not a cool enough outro. Oh screw it, you’re in Csonka‘s hands now, boys.