The SD! Highlight Reel 11.11.05

The SD! Highlight Reel
November 11, 2005 A.D.
Taped from: Indianapolis, IN
Hosts: Michael Cole, Tazz & Friends

Hello all and a beautiful Veterans’ Day to you!

Teddy Long kicks us right off by speaking to the SD! locker room …. “Eric Bischoff says SmackDown! is second-rate — a ‘B’ Show — who says RAW is the ‘A’ show? Huh?? Well tonight we’re going to prove that WE are the premiere show! And hey, 3 weeks from now we’re going to face RAW at Survivor Series, and we’ve got DAVE BATISTA on our team … after he sends Edge as but a broken man back to RAW later tonight!

Match #1: Singles Contest, Victor to be named to SmackDown!’s five man roster at this year’s ‘Survivor Series:’ ‘The Legend Killer’ Randy Orton w/ ‘Cowboy’ Bob Orton vs. Rey Mysterio, Jr.

Randy engages to begin, Rey dazes off, and the two eventually acquaint one another in an Orton side headlock. Randy wrenches it pretty well, and takes Mysterio down as Bob narrates approvingly to the ring side camera. Rey extricates himself from the hold, however and runs off the ropes, ducking an Orton clothesline, and connecting with a pair of arm drags! Randy now stands idly in the NE corner huffing & puffing, regains his confidence, and urges Mysterio to come on and charge him. Randy does the dirty work himself, however, aiming right at Orton with measured right hands, forcing the smaller man into the SE corner; Randy stomps him down into a canvas something fierce, and now picks Rey up into a delayed Atomic Drop.

Orton continues on the offensive, variously boot-choking Mysterio against the bottom rope, and slinging him into the anterior corner. Lateral press nets a deuce for Randy, who grabs Rey behind his behind and queries “WHAT DO YA SAY REY!??” Randy cinches into Mysterio’s neck/larynx region ever-tighter, until he unfathomably releases the hold in the SW corner! Ehh? Rey now kicks Randy around the right side of the ring, ducks a charge, and Randy propels himself onto the floor! CORKSCREW plancha by Mysterio!! This match is out of control!!

Commercials:

-Okay, so it isn’t really .. this is the point where TNA contests begin to really heat up, so what does WWE do here?
-Why advertise, naturally
-My new wireless mouse is absolute $MONEY$ btw
-See, my old laptop touchpad was so messed up that any little bump would send the cursor careening to the nether-regions of the Windows Universe // With the touchpad now disabled, I am in unadulterated ecstasy
-Okay, you can once again commence reading now

we’re back with Rey having Randy caught into a leglock neck vise, rolling on the canvas, until he eventually breaks the hold and moves Orton to the corner … 10 punch! Middle Rope Bulldog! 1 … 2 ……….. 2.556! Rey up to the top rope, Springboa ….. Bob shoves him off! Randy slams Rey into the STEEL POST!!

Randy rolls over atop Rey … 1 ………….2 ………………….. 2.79! 1 … 2 ……….. 2.64! Randy now re-applies his rear chinlock from earlier, though Rey wisens up on this occasions, elbowing o …. No, Randy catches him! BACKBREAKER!! 1 …..2 ………….. 2.52! Randy with the big knee drop …. Only gets 2.4! Is Referee Nick Patrick slow or something? Randy charges at Rey …. Mysterio gets the boot up! Tilt a Whirl headscissors by Rey!! Double KO sequence …. Rey wails on Randy with varying gut punches! Big dropkick by Mysterio, Randy catches Rey atop his shoulder…. And Rey shoves Randy off into the turnbuckle; school-boy …1 ……2 ……….. 2.86!! CRUCIFIX pin by REy …………. 1….2 ……. 2.79!! Drop toehold to Orton …….. 6 …. Dropkick to Bob! ….1 ….. Randy dodges! Rey comes back with the Rube Goldberg Bulldog!! ………….. 619!@!!1 1 ……… Bob tosses Rey out of the ring! Patrick RINGS THE DAMN BELL!!

Mysterio wins via DQ and moves on to SurSer!

Randy and Bob beat Mysterio down after the match, but here comes MATT HARDY for the save! Tilt a whirl headscissors by Rey to Randy! TWIST OF FATE!!1

Bob’s left to carry out Randy’s nearly moribund carcass!

Commercials:

-WM I – XXI … the Box Set
-Dude, I saw it in Best Buy — I couldn’t even pick the thing up with my bare hand! It’s MASSIVELY GARGANTUAN

Backstage Josh Mathews attempts to get Randy Orton’s reaction to his previous loss … Randy replies that Matt Hardy just “messed with fire” and will receive “the most powerful thing you’ve ever seen.” What, a Nuclear Weapon? An H-Bomb?

The RKO.

Flashbulbs! M.N.M.!!

Melina gets on the mic, and sells a lower back injury from last week’s FROG SPLASH from one Eddie Guerrero. By all rights she should be at home convalescing, but no, she’s here tonight .. why? For the FANS. She does it all for the FANS. And these guys are heels?

Melina now rolls clip of her boys winning the tag straps from LoD05, much to the FANS’ displeasure. Why, the ungrateful heathen! They’re simply trying to steal M.N.M.’s spotlight, no doubt, just as Theodore R. Long did last week. Melina now proclaims that she is “bigger than Tyra Banks,” and “proves it” by calling out Michelle from America’s Top Model.

Michelle struts out to the ring, as Melina puts over her gorgeousity, but later criticizes her lack of success on the show. What is she now, a B- / C+ level celebrity?

Michelle slaps the spit out of Melina’s grille! M.N.M attacks! CALL IN THE LAWN CARE UNIT!!!

The Mexicools go to town on M.N.M. now, effectively saving the bonny young lass … Super Crazy and Psychosis hit simultaneous Moonsault / Leg drops on M.N.M.! Melina is stricken with furor!

Video Package puts over Bobby Lashley as a menacing force within the wrestling world

Commercials:

-There are two ways to live: above the influence and below the influence. Choose the higher road.
-Brought to you by the United States Office of Drug Control

-.. what, I don’t have to make fun of everything, do I?

Tazz comments that “last week’s Byte This wasn’t so bad,” while attempting to pimp Bret Hart’s appearance on this week’s episode

Match #2: Singles Contest, Victor to be named to SmackDown!’s five man roster at this year’s ‘Survivor Series:’ Orlando Jordan vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley forces Jordan into the SW corner, though falls prey to some low kicks as Referee Jimmy Corderis forces the pair to break … Lashley simply picks Jordan up onto his shoulders! Double Arm Suplex and they spill onto the floor …. Double-arm clothesline by Lashley!! Back inside, Lashley sets up for his finisher … Jordan floats out — shoulder block by Lashley! T-Bone SUPLEX!!

Lashley calls for the finish ……. DOMINATOR BOMB!@11!1

Yep, it’s over.

Backstage Teddy’s pretty psyched about Lashley making the team; meanwhile, Edge & Lita barge in and attempt to cajole Mr. Long into putting the quash on tonight’s match-up …. he’s got no feud with SmackDown! so what gives? Teddy counters that all he’s seen out of Edge is him denigrating SD! back and forth; Edge, however, states that’s simply because he was acting under Bischoff’s orders …. come on, Teddy, pretty please!!

Teddy won’t budge, though he will grant Edge one concession; if he can get Batista to agree to killing the match, then it’ll be off —- but he’ll have to ask him himself!

Match #3: Singles Contest, Victor to be named to SmackDown!’s five man roster at this year’s ‘Survivor Series:’ Eddie Guerrero vs. ‘Mr.’ Ken Kennedy

Crowd chants for Eddie as we start off here, Eddie catches Ken in a drop toehold and the pair slide about the ring to no conclusion. Collar-and-Elbow tieup ensues, with Eddie catching a hammerlock on Kennedy, who demands Referee Charles Robinson break the hold after Kennedy reaches the ropes. Ken now wants a handshake with Guerrero, but rather slaps him clear across the cheek, as Eddie flashes a sneaky grin …. Eddie thumbs Kennedy’s eye! Guerrero stomps, kicks, and EuroCuts Kennedy all over the right side of the ring, even choking Ken like crazy in the SE corner.

Eddie approaches Kennedy in the SW corner …. No, Ken slides Eddie down into the lower turnbuckle! Ken now reverses the momentum of Guerrero, covering for a deuce, and cinching in a grounded hammerlock. Eddie channels the crowd’s latent reservoir of energy to re-take control of this match0up and fight out of the hold; TRES AMIGOS~ no third suplex! Kennedy nails Guerrero with right hands! Eddie comes back by slinging Kennedy into the SE corner, and RIGHT into Referee Charles Robinson, who is out COLD.

At this point, Guerrero simply stops by ringside and grabs a steel chair …. Robinson’s coming to though …… Eddie thus slams the chair, creating a resonating metallic sound, tosses the chair to Kennedy, and ducks the dickens like he’d just been hood-whacked! Robinson calls for the bell!

Afterward, Ken figures if he’s blamed for something, he may as well actually enact it, and SMASHES Guerrero’s skull in with said chair!

Some enterprising guy in the crowd keeps screaming out, ‘KENNEDY!!#@1’

Commercials:

-“The fate of our world is at hand” …….
-and we’re trusting Mortal Kombat!!
-That’s nearly as bad as entrusting Matt Damon and Heath Ledger with saving us from all the vamps and werewolves

Backstage medical personnel inform Eddie he may have suffered a concussion out there; Big Dave, meanwhile, looks after Messer Guerrero, who assures him that he’s alright and has his back.

Match #4: Singles Contest: Pierrothito vs. Todd Stone

Cannon accompanies Tazz & Cole at the announce table for this match-up, as the pair lock up to start, with P shoving TS quickly down; TS downs P and simply walks over his back before hitting a hip toss, though he whiffs on a dropkick. Rolling knee strike by P drops TS to his knees, though Stone comes back with a Sunset Flip …. And P grabs the ref in an attempt to remain standing! Unknown Young Ref shoves him down! 1 …… 2 ……….. 2.23! P now picks Stone into a near-Pumphandle ….. and he can’t hold him! Stone floats over into a lateral press! P goes crazy, nearly going after the UYR, though TS rolls him up, but for a scant two! P now up to the top rope ………. ELBOW DROP! 1 …… 2 ……………. 3!!! Pierrothito takes the duke!

Tazz says it was “good seeing ya, PC” …. Layer the sub-text Vince, LAYER the subtext

Backstage Lita sees Edge off for his conversation with Batista …. and is left all alone with the BOOGEYMAN! Nobody knows the trouble he’s seen!

Man, he can sing too!

Commercials:

-AXE advertises way too much. I GET IT. Your product = popularity amongst the ladies. I’m just not buying such a loosely-contructed cause and effect relationship.
-Nintendo WI-FI. Play your favourite DS games online. Microsoft, here we come!
-So, what’s happened to Jamie Foxx’s last two war movies? The critics have just absolutely assailed Jarhead

Backstage Edge confronts Big Dave Batista in his locker room. No security, no backup, just us. Hey, we’re way too important to be the pawns of a couple of upstarts like Long and Bischoff … so why are we even doing this?

Dave, while sympathetic to Edge’s argument, says he does it all for the FANS and they have PAID for a Street Fight, and that’s what they are going to get.

Elsewhere Steve Romero interviews the “Dicks” who convey that they will soon be taking the SD! Tag Team Division down a peg or two … via total domination!

Cole is just glad that Romero conducted the interview and not he himself.

Match #5: Singles Contest, Victor to be named to SmackDown!’s five man roster at this year’s ‘Survivor Series:’ Chris Benoit vs. John Bradshaw Layfield w/ Jillian Hall

Each man circles to start, trying to get a feel … Collar and elbow tie up! JBL forces Benoit into the NW corner, now grabbing a side headlock in the centre of the ring; Benoit shoves him off the ropes, though JBL simply knocks Chris down w/ a big shoulder; Benoit comes back with chops to Layfield’s chest and … SNAP suplex by Benoit. Chris begins to pick JBL up, yet thinks better of it, and rather simply rakes him over the face with right hands. Benoit goes back to the chopping, though JBL appears to get a boot up, and then a swinging neckbreaker.

JBL goes back to the neckbreaker again, and later drops a trio of elbows to Benoit’s sternum, as Hall possesses quite the animated voice over on the floor. Layfield now clubs all over Benoit’s back before cinching in a reverse bear hug, as Chris struggles back toward his feet .. no, he simply can’t make it, JBL is too strong! JBL wrenching the hold in now, though Benoit simply rattles back at JBL’s noggin with repeated elbows! Each man now struggles to his feet as they beseech the other the stalemate – JBL charges Benoit in the corner …. CAUGHT! German Suplex by Benoit! And another! German #three!! Benoit is now GOING UP TOP ……

“Can you dig it Sucka?!!?”

Booker and Sharmell now sass-a-frass on down toward the ring, with the lady of the evening donning a TIARA atop her skull.

The pair make their way to the announce table at ringside, as Benoit is distracted, and Layfield takes him down to the floor! Ringside brawling ensues, as Layfield utilizes said announce table copiously before rolling Benoit back into the ring for 2. JBL now locks in another reverse bearhug, with Benoit struggling to even stand upright. Benoit swings his left elbow wildly into Layfield’s upper helm region …. And escapes! Benoit lateral press … 1 ……… 2 ………….. 2.11!

Layfield now pulls Benoit on over to the NE corner and sets him on top, while punching Benoit crazy …… BENOIT FLIES ….. and catches JBL with a flying SHOULDERBLOCK! Double KO segment ensues, as both men get to their feet …. At nine! GERMAN by Benoit! Another! #3!! FOUR!@!! FIVE!#$@!!1!!1

Even Benoit struggles now to get bak to his feet, and upon rising says this one IS FINISHED. Top rope headbutt ………. Connects! 1 ………….. Jillian nearly makes the save ……….. 2 ……………. 2.93!!! SHARPSHOOT ….. JBL pushes off with his legs! Benoit now rains clubbing blows down across Layfield’s lower back, while attempting to pull him of the ropes ……. No, JBL’s got a firm grasp of it ……. NO, Benoit gets him up and over in the BELLY-TO-BELLY Suplex! CHOPS from Benoit to JBL, as Book says “Come on JBL” while claiming he’s completely impartial in this contest.

CLOTHESLINE FROM HE ………… no, CROSS-FA …….. no, neither man can hit his finisher! Layfield measures Benoit though ……… POWERBO ….. but no, JBL’s left wrist is in too much pain, Benoit counters ….. SHARPSHOOTER!!!1 Layfield is SCREWED…….. Booker now hits the ring, but Benoit launches a pre-emptive strike! JBL taps but the referee is completely ignoring him; Benoit rips Book’s dress shirt from off his chest, finally lets go ….. CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL@!!!1 1 ….. 2 ………… 3!!

Cole accuses Tazz of “kissing [Booker’s] ass the whole time.” Well that’s nice.

Commercials:

-So I thought a guy (Joseph Farah) made a good point about the riots in France the other day …. if the French are so convinced that concessions are the only way to deal with terror, and that Israel must give up its land in appeasing the Palestinians if there is to be any peace in the Middle East, then shouldn’t it also follow that France itself should be partitioned, with the rioters receiving their own independent and autonomous political state?
-Entirely ludicrous, of course, though it is the natural conclusion of the logic France has employed in the Middle East

Match #6: MAIN EVENT Non-Title Singles Contest to be fought under ‘Street Fight’ Rules: Edge w/ Lita vs. Heavyweight Champion of the World Dave Batista

Cole and Tazz put over Edge as “an outcast within his own locker room.”

Dave appears winded as he runs out to the staging area, though he points straight at Edge as if he held a bounty for the man, and commandeers the ring. Edge quickly departs back up the rampway, leaving Big Dave all alone in the ring with Referee Charles Robinson.

Edge points up to the Titantron, which features Teddy Long and Eric Bischoff arguing in the parking garage over Bischoff’s attendance tonight ….. Chris Masters applies the MASTERLOCK to Theodore R. Long!! JBL and the SD! locker room look after Teddy, who doesn’t much care for his own well-being, but rather entreats the gang to give chase, which they do via JBL’s limo …..

Meanwhile ……. Edge presents KANE and the BIG SHOW who strut on down the rampway and via the crowd!!

Outcast, who??

Dave’s face tells it all as he knows he’s cornered, so he simply makes a game fight of things by taking swings at each of RAW’s tag champs …. Kane NAILS him with a massive boot though, followed up with a big clothesline. Show now runs into Dave with forearms blazing, as the Cruiserweights attempt to make the save …. And get resolutely deboed. Bob Holly attempts to extract some vengeance, though, only to be speared ….

Can LoD save the day?? Err…. no, they get plastered and dominated as well. It’s like one big Kung Fu flick where a dozen guys each attack the one protagonist one at a time and each loses horribly.

DOUBLE CHOKESLAM to Big Dave Batista!

Kane makes the fire go BOOM!!

So, are Kane and Lita back on speaking terms or what?