The Wrestling (Hub)Bard 4.26.08: TNA’s Impact

“Ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages! 411wrestling.com proudly brings to you, it’s resident storytelling champion of the WOOOOOOOORLD! He’s the B to the A to Rizzle-Dizzle, The Wrestling Bard!”

…

What? Like you didn’t mark out for Road Dogg’s shtick at least once? No?

…Drat. *kicks the rocks with his feet in disappointment*

Feedback is Always a Good Thing!

First off, a HUGE thank you to all who posted comments or sent e-mails to me last week. I am very appreciative. I wasn’t expecting all the positive feedback…it was a nice surprise, especially from Samer . I hope that you continue to enjoy my work. The two biggest complaints I got were as follows:

KanyonKriest says:

This is just my opinion, but I was never that big on specific match
synopses. I dunno, if it were a match I’d seen many times, I might be able to
get into discussing it in detail, perhaps relishing it in a nostalgic sort of
way .

Totally figured on this one…I’m a “details” guy. I’m like Joey Styles…I call the moves and let the moves tell the story. To ignore what’s going on in the ring is an insult to the performers in the ring. However…I understand that it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. I will make an effort to tone it down a bit, but I will always be a detail guy. Thanks Kanyon, I needed to hear that, otherwise people would get bored forever!

Bigredmonster had a LOT to say.

Good column and I enjoy the layout and what you have to offer but other people
in the comments have brought it up as well that they aren’t into puro wrestling.
And to be honest I will only watch matches from WWE, rarely ROH and never TNA
so could you please just review matches from the WWF/WWE. Because if you gave a
match a five star review for example, then I would buy that PPV because it
would obviously be pretty good as I take your word for it. But I’m not really
going to go out and buy a Japanese production. So anyway good column and keep
it up. o yeah sorry I forgot. could you please review two matches at a time.
one match doesn’t feel like enough.

Yipes…that’s a lot. Okay, I’m going to take this issue by issue.

Issue 1: Not Into Puro Wrestling
That’s fine. As was the theme of my last column, Bigred is entitled to his opinion and I respect it. However…I don’t feel Puro gets enough love on this site, and when I feel inclined to do Puro I will do so.

Issue 2: Only WWE Matches
Hmmm….there’s a thought. I’d love to be Vince McMahon’s personal representative for his company. And with my current format of “ideas, a point, a rant on said point, and five star match to support that point”…I’d only have about 20 columns left. Sorry Bigred….I’m not a WWE exclusive guy. I’m the Wrestling BARD! It is my job to go out and gather tales from ALL of wrestling, tales from the world, and to tell them.

Issue 3: Not Going To Buy Japanese Products
Well…NO BUYS! Although seriously…YOUTUBE! That’s the only place I’ve seen All Japan. I’ve never spent a cent to watch any of the classic Puro matches I’ve watched. So literally…no buys necessary!

Issue 4: Two Matches at a Time
I’m eighteen. I have a fulltime job and am preparing for college. I also have a life outside of this website…I can’t dedicate hours upon hours upon hours to this column, and I don’t have time to do two match reviews…plus it’s hard to find two matches that support my points. However…I do have an alternative, which you will read about later in the column.

Bigredmonster DID have a more reasonable request though:

Please could u post the top ten WWE matches of all time? Thnx

Sure! Without further ado…

The Wrestling Bard’s Top 10 WWE Matches of ALL Time!

*WARNING! The following list contains matches involving Chris Benoit. I have made it a point to mention “He Who Must Not Be Named” in every column so far. I have clear views on Chris Benoit, haters will not change my opinion, go place your hate somewhere else. Thank you. We will now return to your regularly scheduled list.*

The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels, In Your House: Badd Blood – I think I covered this in a previous column?
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart, Wrestlemania XIII – This match is so good that I wrote a college paper on it and got a very high A. Perfect booking.
Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon, Wrestlemania X – The ladder match that popularized the match style. An absolute classic that still holds up today.
Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit, Royal Rumble 2003 – This match is pure technical brilliance. The best pure wrestling match ever seen in the WWE.
Triple H vs. Cactus Jack, Royal Rumble 2000 – An epic mix of storytelling and violence make for one of the best WWE Championship matches ever.
Chris Benoit vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Triple H, Wrestlemania XX – Yes, THAT match. This is the best triple threat ever, and the aftermath is the best moment in the history of wrestling.
Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat, Wrestlemania III – This is the first true classic match that took place in the WWE and in front of their largest crowd.
Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart, Wrestlemania XII – A great hour plus match that is a work of art and the longest match in Wrestlemania history.
The Rock vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin, Wrestlemania XVII – The great epic main event that ended the attitude era and summed up everything that was great about it, headlining the best event in WWE history.
Mankind vs. Shawn Michaels, In Your House: Mind Games – A personal favorite of mine. It’s a shame about the DQ, because this match is perfect up till then. TONS of psychology and proof that these two were two of the best storytellers the business has ever seen. Lots of Shawn Michaels, eh?

Hope you enjoy that part of the column Bigred, because you won’t enjoy the rest of it…it’s time to look at TNA, and more specifically, the two men who competed in the main event of Lockdown, TNA World Champion Samoa Joe and former champ Kurt Angle!

Samoa Joe: The Champ is Here!

A lot of people seem to hate Samoa Joe. For reasons I don’t understand, many people just want to tear this guy to pieces with their hateful comments. Is it because he’s not the skinniest guy to be a world champion? I really hope not. Do people think that he has no talent? Again, I hope not. I think some people hate him because of the style he wrestles, which I can understand, but still…there’s a reason the IWC loves Joe. Well several. He’s an immensely talented wrestler, a great monster heel, a fantastic juggernaut babyface, and much like Benoit and Guerrero four years before him, it seemed that the would never become a world champion on a grand stage.

Let me explain why I love Joe: He’s unassuming. Looking at him you would never expect a great worker. He’s deceptively quick…he runs and executes very quickly and thus he has a high workrate. Joe is also fluid, able to hit all of his moves perfectly and flow from one move to the next seamlessly. The guy is amazingly athletic and he doesn’t do anything that looks “phony”. His holds, flying attacks and especially his strikes are all very convincing. Fans like a guy that is realistic yet has an exciting style. Look at Bret Hart…everything he did looked real, and people respect has one of the best workers of all time for it.

To me, Joe winning the TNA World Championship at Lockdown in the end result of almost a four year journey. I’ve wanted this guy to be THE guy in TNA since 2005. Lockdown, where Joe beat Kurt Angle CLEANLY in the main event to earn his long-overdue championship run was the culmination of many years of build up. I couldn’t be happier to see Joe as champion on a national level. It is too bad the company he represents needs some serious work in order to grow any, but if Joe winning is a sign of things to come, perhaps TNA will live up to it’s huge potential.

2005: The Golden Age of TNA

If you are like me, and didn’t have money to watch the TNA weekly pay-per-views, the first time you became really interested in TNA was fall 2005, when they picked up their television deal on Spike TV. And I’ll be plain and honest with you: From about September ’05 to August ’06, TNA iMPACT was my favorite wrestling show. I loved the X-Division guys, the simple, LOGICAL booking, the characters, the emphasis on WRESTLING, the titles being important, the right people being booked strongly. For almost a full year, I was in love with TNA.

Does anybody remember fall of 2005? Remember when AJ Styles meant something? Remember when Chris Sabin, Austin Aries, Alex Shelley & Petey Williams were having *** marches every week? Remember when they used to showcase the X-Division? Remember when the booking was simple, easy to follow, made sense and swerves were a rare thing? Wow, did TNA ever change from that.

Then two things happened: Kurt Angle, and Vince Russo.

Kurt Angle: The Big Fish

Let me make this clear: I do not hate TNA. I don’t LIKE it, but I do not loathe it with every fiber of my being as many columnists on this site do. I just think that they don’t live up to their potential, and their potential is virtually unlimited. They have so many great workers, both on the mic and in the ring, that if the booking was just less wacky and confusing and in many cases, plain stupid, and instead served as the backdrop to the performers instead of the front layer, TNA could be the best company in America today.

However…TNA is second rate in my book. It’s not on par with WWE or even WCW. They run their weekly television show out of a small building in Orlando. They do not travel around for their TV shows and their shows are taped. They have the potential to be as big as WCW, but it seems highly unlikely that this will ever happen.

That’s one of the reasons I’m baffled with Kurt Angle’s decision to be in TNA. This is a man who was asked to take time off to take care of his personal life so that the WWE didn’t wind up with another Eddie Guerrero story. Vince was trying to help him, but Kurt was so prideful that he decided he wasn’t going to follow Vince’s advice, even though it had never steered him wrong before. He decided to go back to wrestling before he should, for a second rate company.

You would think that a wrestler as talented, charismatic, and over as Angle is would have more effect on TNA’s fan base. But the ratings show that the fan base isn’t growing very much, and in reality, I would label Angle’s TNA run a failure.

Here’s why. When I watch Angle in TNA I see him as a WWE superstar wrestling for a glorified indy fed. He’s bigger than TNA, and so much bigger that his presence doesn’t help TNA. In fact, TNA is so inferior to Angle that it hurts his credibility. The fact that WWE’s Golden Boy is now TNA’s Big Fish in a Small Pond makes him look second rate. And Angle is no second rate anything. They guy is a first rate wrestler, first rate talker, first rate company man, and has first rate credibility because of his Olympic Gold Medals. Angle has more God given talent than he knows how to use, and if he hadn’t been plagued by injuries and addiction, he may well have turned out to be the greatest wrestler of all time.

But it won’t happen. Because Angle is no longer a player. He’s a broken down has been, a reject from the WWE that wrestles in a vain attempt to get back at his former employers. Maybe he is trying to make a fool out of the WWE, but the only person that looks like a fool is Angle. And no…Angle is not as good as he once was. He’s slower in the ring and you can tell he’s in pain…the guy isn’t healthy, and either he is ignorant or he is stupid. The man needs help.

I have no ill will towards Angle. I want nothing but the best for him. The man is one of my favorites, but I think that he has hurt his legacy. That makes me sad.

Vince Russo

Vince Russo is an idiot. No further commentary here. He’s an idiot. Moving on.

TNA: Potential Won’t Buy You the Groceries!

I sincerely believe that TNA has all the tools to succeed and become a huge player in this business. Unfortunately, I don’t expect it to happen because of poor management. But let’s not be blind and forget the talent that TNA has on its roster.

X-Division Championship Triple Threat Match: “The Phenomenal” AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe vs. “The Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels ©

Angel says that neither Joe nor AJ will ever beat him. So they double team him and play one-upmanship with stiff kicks to the back. “STOP KICKING ME!”-Angel, only to have AJ kick his leg and Joe kick his head. AJ gets a series of rollups for on Joe for 2 counts but Joe counters into a scissored armbar. Daniels breaks that up and punches Joe before hitting a leaping heel kick on AJ. Joe grabs Daniels, chops and a leaping enziguri by Joe. Joe with forearms and a stiff kick on AJ but Daniels trips him. Daniels jabs AJ and hits a bulldog on AJ, kicking Joe mid-move. That gets 2 and Joe beats both men up for a bit. Daniels tries the bulldog again but AJ sends Daniels into the STJoe. AJ hits a tilt-a-whirl headscissors and some stiff kicks on Joe. He hits a flying corner forearm on Daniels but eats a belly-to-belly suplex by Joe. Joe does the facewash but Daniels knocks him to the floor. Dropkick by Angel, and a seated quebrada to the floor on Joe by Daniels. SHOOTING STYLES PRESS ON JOE AND DANIELS!

AJ covers Joe for 2 and hits a dropkick for another 2. AJ pummels Joe but Daniels whips him cross corner. Joe reverses a whip by Daniels and Angel monkey flips AJ INTO A RANA ON JOE BY AJ! Egads! Daniels’ face is great. Daniels gets a rollup for 2 and dumps AJ to the floor in a big bump. Angel hits a high knee on Joe and hits a series of slaps but Joe comes back with slaps and knees. Daniels tries a rollup, KOKINA CLUTCH BY JOE! AJ up top, SPIRAL TAP BREAKS THE HOLD! AJ covers both men for 2 counts. Daniels tosses AJ to the floor and hits Joe with a reverse STO. Daniels goes for the Best Moonsault Ever but AJ breaks it up and puts him in the tree of woe and kicks at him, CORNER KNEE BY JOE ON AJ! Facewash on Daniels, BRUTAL KICK to Daniels in the tree of woe! The crowd chants “This is awesome!”

Joe hits the inverted atomic drop, yakuza kick and senton combo on AJ for 2. Joe with knees on Angel, DEATH VALLEY DRIVER ON JOE by Daniels for 2. AJ and Daniels fight to the floor and avoid each other, Joe hits the ropes, CORKSCREW PLANCHA BY JOE ON BOTH MEN! EGADS again! Daniels avoids the Muscle Buster and AJ and Angel fight up top, Joe climbs and hits a back body drop on both men! Joe and AJ trade shots and Joe hits a German Suplex. MUSCLE BUSTER ON AJ! Joe tries the Clutch but Daniels tries to hit him with the belt, SNAP powerslam on Daniels! Daniels hits an enziguri that puts the belt into Joe’s face. Daniels and AJ trade blows and AJ hits the ropes but BLUE THUNDER BOMB by Angel gets 2! Daniels hits a side slam and BEST MOONSAULT EVER! Joe makes the save and KICKS DANIELS HEAD OFF! Daniels fights back and snap mares Joe into the Last Rites and Joe goes to the floor.

Daniels pummels AJ and whips him but AJ hits a kick to the face and his quebrada inverted DDT for 2. AJ heads up top but Angel follows and hits him with a top rope superplex! Joe comes in and covers both men for 2 counts. Joe hits Daniels with a powerbomb for 2 into the STF but Angel gets the ropes. Joe chops Daniels down and hits a few uppercuts on AJ, PELE KICK! AJ hits the Rack Bomb on Joe for 2. Daniels slams AJ onto Joe and the crowd chants “This is awesome!” once more. Angel and AJ fight and Daniels hits the ropes, crucifix by AJ into the STYLES CLASH! Joe makes the save and tosses AJ to the floor and Daniels sends Joe to the floor. Daniels and AJ trade punches and AJ hits a series of punches and Daniels goes to the eyes. He tries the Angel’s Wings, COUNTERED into a bridge by AJ, 1…2…3! AJ Styles wins his fifth World Championship after 22:48 of outright awesomeness!

Match Analysis: This match is brilliant. It might be a spotfest, but it’s a perfectly done spotfest. All three man got to do their signature moves and the spots they came up with involving all three men were brilliant. This match also had several stories within the spotfest, and the selling of exhaustion was very good. It did have some psychology, although to the untrained eye it’s just a collection of real cool moves. Nothing wrong with that either really. At any rate, this is the best TNA match ever and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. *****

Introducing: The Dream Match!

This is a new idea I want to ingrain in my column. One of my big hobbies is writing matches. It’s hard to explain, but you will see what I mean in the following section. A few people, like Daniel Wilcox, have done things similar to this, but I have done this for a while, and I hope that you will enjoy it. I’ll do three of these and try to make them very different, and I’ll see how the readers like it. If it’s a bust, so be it, but to me it’s worth the risk. Without further ado…

Bret “The Hitman” Hart vs. Kurt Angle
Bret and Angle both come out to huge pops. The crowd is split, but more of them are favoring Bret. They respectfully shake each other’s hands before the match and the bell rings. Crowd is ELECTRIC as they circle each other.

Angle tries a double leg and Bret sprawls on him. They work the mat and that is awesome. Bret is holding his own, but Angle has an advantage. They back off and tie up, but Angle gets a go behind and a waistlock takedown and they do more mat work. Angle continues to keep most of the control. They lock up again and this time Bret grabs a headlock. Angle shoves Bret against the ropes and Bret hits a shoulder tackle. Angle takes offense and Bret tells him to hit the ropes. Angle hits his own shoulder tackle and Bret goes down, but Bret grabs a side headlock again. Angle tries to toss Bret off of the ropes again but Bret holds on and gets a headlock takeover. Angle turns it into a pin for 1 and then grabs a headscissors but Bret slips out and grabs another headlock. Angle backs up into the ropes to break the hold and we get a clean break. Angle checks his ear as they staredown.

They lock up again and Bret grabs a headlock to escape and Angle rolls out of it. Angle gets his own side headlock but Bret counters with a headscissors and then they reverse the sequence. Bret runs into an armdrag and Angle runs into an armdrag and Bret keeps the armbar. Angle again backs into the ropes to break the hold. They tease a knucklelock sequence but Angle hits an armdrag into his own armbar. They counter with hold and Bret goes back to the side headlock and Angle throws him off into the ropes and connects with a hip block takeover. Angle hits the ropes and when Bret tries to return the move Angle counters to a fireman’s carry mid move and applies an armbar. Bret gets a knip up and goes back to the side headlock, so Angle tosses him into the ropes and hits a reverse elbow.

Angle hits a scoop slam and Bret kicks him in the jaw, and he slams Angle and gets kicked again, they stand up, DROPKICK by Bret and he showboats a bit. Bret hits a textbook vertical suplex and a legdrop for 2. Bret hits a snap mare and applies a rear chinlock. Angle gets to his feet and backs up to a corner, and they get a clean break. They lock up again and Angle hits a knee lift and a European Uppercut. He sets Bret in the corner and hits a few chops and Euro Uppercuts, but Bret turns him around and returns the uppercuts and hits a few shoulder blocks. He tries a cross corner whip but Angle reverses into an overhead belly-to-belly suplex.

They stare each other down and then they start shoving each other, and that turns to them trading European Uppercuts until Angle gets a kick to the ribs, but he runs into a reverse elbow from Bret. Bret tries the Sharpshooter but Angle escapes and goes to the floor. Bret follows and Angle lifts him and drops him on the guard rail. Angle lifts Bret, ANGLE SLAM INTO THE IRON POST!

Angle breaks the count and then stomps on Bret’s back. He hits a vertical suplex on the floor and throws Bret back inside. Angle hits a rib breaker and covers for 2. He applies abdominal stretch and Bret escapes with a hip block takeover but runs into a STIFF clothesline from Angle. Angle hits a gutwrench suplex for another 2 and works a surfboard clutch. Bret fights to his feet and backs Angle into a corner and hits a series of reverse elbows. He tries a corner whip but Angle reverses and Bret goes chest first into the buckles, GERMAN SUPLEX by Angle gets 2. Angle hits a snap mare and applies a rear naked choke and then works the body scissors into a pin for 2. Back to the choke and Bret fights out, and Angle just has the sleeper as Bret escapes with elbows, but Bret runs into an overhead belly-to-belly suplex! Angle plays to the crowd and when Bret gets up Angle hits another belly-to-belly and covers for 2.

Angle kicks at Bret’s back and sets him up against the buckles and attacks with shoulder thrusts to the back. Angle hits a running knee to the back and Bret eats the turnbuckle. Angle covers but only gets 2. Angle works a freestyle bow and arrow but Bret manages to get the ropes. Angle stomps at Bret’s back and he sets up for the knee attack again, but this time Bret moves and Angle flies knee first into the top turnbuckle! Bret starts working the leg kicks and Angle goes down!

Bret starts working over the leg with his usual, including the sick rolling leg snap. Angle starts kicking at Bret, so Bret stomps on his gut. Bret drops a few forearms to subdue Angle before working the leg with a grapevine. Angle grabs a chinlock so Bret escapes and he kicks at Angle’s leg again. Bret pulls Angle to the corner and slams his leg into the iron post, and again. He wraps Angle’s legs around the post, FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK AROUND THE POST! Back inside Bret works the leg some more, and he applies the figure-four in the middle of the ring! Angle fights to reach the ropes but Bret pulls him back to the center. Angle reverses the hold only to have Bret reverse the hold again. Bret gets 2 out of the hold and Angle fights and finally gets the ropes to break. Bret stomps at Angle’s leg and Angle goes to the floor. Bret hits the ropes, TOPE SUICIDA on Angle!

Back inside the ring Bret hits an inverted atomic drop and a clothesline for 2. Bret sets Angle up top for a superplex and connects, but Angle nearly pins him out of the move! Bret hits a few headbutts and Angle goes to the corner. Bret stomps at Angle and hits a bulldog out of the corner for 2. Bret decides to go high risk, and Angle is up, ROPE CLIMB BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPERPLEX! The two men stay down until seven and then they trade punches and Bret tries a clothesline, ROLLING GERMANS by Angle! He hits six of them. Angle gets psyched up, STRAPS DOWN! ANGLE SLAM! 1…2…NO! Angle whips Bret to the corner and runs into a mule kick. Bret tries for his patented victory roll but Angle counters to the ANKLE LOCK! Bret rolls forward and Angle goes through the ropes and to the floor. Bret waits for Angle to get up, PESCADO! But Bret has hurt his ankle on the landing!

Angle goes back into the ring and waits for Bret to come into the ring. Angle hits a chop block as Bret tries to get into the ring. Angle hits a single-leg and works a heel lock and then applies a grapevine. Bret hits a few elbows to escape but Angle stomps at Bret’s ankle and he grabs an Ankle Lock! Bret kicks Angle off but Angle grabs the hold again, and Bret rolls through and Angle holds on! Bret crawls and gets the ropes. Angle pulls Bret off the ropes and tries the hold again but Bret catches him with a small package for 2. Bret hits a few headbutts and Angle turns him around and drills him with a series of rights. Angle tries an Angle Slam but Bret lands behind him, DDT!

Bret gets the kinks out of his leg. He whips Angle and hits a gut punch and a Russian Legsweep for 2. Bret hits a backbreaker and the second rope forearm drop for 2. SHARPSHOOTER! Angle crawls to make the ropes and goes to the apron. Bret punches at Angle but Angle counters, SUPLEX TO THE FLOOR BY ANGLE! Angle crawls into the ring and Bret follows to the apron. Angle hits a few punches and tries to suplex Bret into the ring but Bret lands behind Angle, GERMAN SUPLEX…for 2. Bret grabs Angle and tries a punch, CROSSFACE CHICKENWING by Angle! Bret starts to fade, but his hand only falls twice, and Bret climbs the ropes to roll onto Angle for a cover, but only gets 2. ANGLE SLAM! 1…2…NO!

Angle stares in disbelief. Straps up, STRAPS BACK DOWN! Angle heads up top, MOONSAULT MISSES! Bret grabs Angle, PILEDRIVER! 1…2…NO! Bret tries the Sharpshooter but Angle counters into an Ankle Lock! Bret crawls and gets the ropes. Angle whips Bret cross corner and Bret’s leg gives out and he hits the post with his back! Angle grabs Bret and sets him top for a superplex, but Bret punches him down, ROPE CLIMB SUPER ANGLE SLAM! Angle heads up top, MOONSAULT! 1…2…NO! Angle tries the Angle Slam again, but Bret slips out, SHARPSHOOTER! Angle tries to get the ropes but Bret pulls him back to the center…ANGLE TAPS! Bret wins!

Match Analysis: Just kidding…this is YOUR JOB!

This column was a little different than normal for me. It was kind of a random compilation of things, but that’s how I felt this week. I’ll be back next week, where I will talk about my favorite wrestling company in the world, and do another dream match: “The Phenomenal” AJ Styles vs. Rey Mysterio!