411s NWA:TNA Xplosion Report 06.20.04

I was all set to do a double review of last weekend’s Xplosion and this week’s, but I somehow managed to lose the friggin’ tape. But it’s not like any of you noticed. Scott Keith doesn’t get a Raw Rant up until 12:15 and you cry and slit your wrists, but it comes to poor Aaron, you don’t even send an angry e-mail. I hope you all die… After, of course, reading my column and sending feedback.

I DON’T THINK THEY’RE READY FOR THIS!

Jarrett’s wicked guitar shot to Russo opens up the show.

Mike Tenay and Mr. WWA open up the show.

Mikal Adryan & Kid Krazy vs. Chris Sabin and… Ugh… Primetime – For someone so crazy that he feels the need to change the spellings of common words, Kid Krazy isn’t acting all that crazy. His name is ELIX SKIPPER God damn it. Krazy and Sabin start off with rapid reversals of each other’s moves. Krazy get backdropped to the apron, misses a clothesline attempt, and when hit with a dropkick, actually does a senton bump that looks great. Adryan runs in, but gets rana’d to the floor by Sabin. Skipper catapults himself off of Sabin’s back, over the top rope and onto his opponents. Back in the ring, Skipper and Sabin score with some swank double team moves to Krazy. Adryan saves his partner. Swift kick by Skipper gets two. Tag back into Sabin, who goes off the top with a double axehandle. Krazy comes back with a suplex. Adryan tags in, and gets a two count off a top rope clothesline. He immediately tags in Krazy for some reason. Krazy immediately gets caught with a Roll the Dice/Fisherman’s Suplex move. Skipper and Adryan tag in. Skipper gets unbelievable air on a springboard kick. Head toss suplex to Krazy. Butterfly suplex for Adryan. Superkick to Krazy. Adryan goes to the eyes, but Sabin interjects himself with a spin kick. Adryan clotheslined to the floor. Skipper whips Krazy into Sabin, and there’s a Cradle Shock for the three at 3:35. Spotty, but Sabin and Skipper have great chemistry together.

Hype for the Grudge Match between America’s Most Wanted and The Naturals.

TNA Cam shows Scott Hudson interviewing The Naturals, who really, really want a job with TNA. Xplosion, apparently, doesn’t pay well.

“Spyder” Nate Webb, Danny Daniels, and Brian Black vs. Petey Williams, Eric Young, and Bobby Rude of Team Canada (w/o Scott D’Amore) – What in the hell? When Nate Webb enters the ring, he does a moonsault off the top rope, inadvertently nailing Black on his way down. D’Amore is not with them tonight after getting defeated by Jerry Lynn on Wednesday. Right from the start, Webb and Daniels get thrown to the outside. Young and Black, who is built like a smaller Brock Lesnar, start off in the ring. Young’s cockiness causes him to me met by a clothesline. Tag into Daniels, who springboards in with an axehandle to Young’s arm. Daniels runs into a boot. Young nooses Daniels while standing on the top rope. That would’ve looked a lot more impressive if Young was strong enough to hold Daniels in the air. Top rope legdrop from Young, followed by a tag into Rude. Rude goes to work on all three of his opponents. Butterfly to Daniels gets two. Daniels fights back, scoring a high knee when Rude goes off the ropes. Hot tag time, with Webb and Williams coming in. Webb springboards in with a clothesline, and then plants Williams with that half nelson into a Flatliner that I love so much. Webb cartwheels to avoid a clothesline from Young, hitting an excellent spinkick afterwards. He’s not quick enough for Rude, though, as he gets dropped with a sit-out full nelson slam. Eric Young neckbreakers Black on the bottom rope. Soon after, Williams puts Daniels on top of his head, and Young goes off the top, dropping Daniels with a bulldog. Petey Williams hits a marvelous Canadian Destroyer (flip piledriver) for the win at 3:25. Another excellent match for Xplosion. If Nate Webb went on roids, I guarantee he’d have himself a job in TNA a year from now.

Order the Ultimate X Collection DVD. One can only hope that the damn thing gets into actual stores before the year 2007.

TNA Cam shows Scott Hudson interviewing AJ Styles. AJ says there is absolutely no personal relationship between Jeff Hardy and AJ Styles. The only relationship they have is the “professional wrestling relationship.” Since he does his talking in the ring, though, he’s not going to speak about Kid Kash.

Lonestar vs. Sabu – Lonestar is hairy, out-of-shape, and going to get the absolute shit beat out of him right now. Sabu starts off by Tornado DDTing Lonstar for two. He quickly goes to the outside, springboarding in with a legdrop for two. Sabu goes to a short Camel clutch. Sabu tries to bring a chair into the ring, but Lonestar knees it into his head. Lonestar clotheslines Sabu in the corner. Backbreaker submission to Sabu. HAHAHAH. Lonestar tries to do a standing senton, and nearly breaks his neck in the process when Sabu moves out of the way. Sabu rewards his crappy wrestling with a legdrop to the head with the help of a chair. Lonestar grabs Sabu’s leg, so Sabu just throws the chair into his face. Sabu goes for the Triple Jump Moonsault, but when he realizes that he didn’t land on the ropes right, simply chooses to do a Triple Jump Back Elbowdrop. That gets the win at 2:20. Well, that’s better than Sabu just repeating the spot as you’d expect from him.

TNA Cam shows Scott Hudson interviewing Vince Russo. Russo reiterates Dusty Rhodes’ quote about doing what your heart feels is right.

This Wednesday on TNA’s PPV:
A decision will be made to who is the true NWA TNA Heavyweight Champion; Jeff Jarrett or Ron Killings?
In a Grudge Match, The Naturals will try to unseat the NWA World Tag Team Champions America’s Most Wanted.
Will D-Lo Brown feel the PUOOOOOOOONCE! when he faces Monty Brown?
Sabu and Sonjay Dutt will take on two members of Team Canada.
In a Double or Nothing Humiliation Match, Pat Kenney & Sonny Siaki are set to face The NTC Connection.
Goldylocks wants Watts’ contract, and Watts wants not only his money, but revenge. The winner of the match between Abyss and Erik Watts will get just that.

There ya go. Personally, I have a sour taste in my mouth after last Wednesday’s screwjob-a-plenty show, but I have some confidence in TNA’s ability to rebound.