The Bell To Bell News Report 03.15.09

Howdy folks, and welcome to another edition of the Bell to Bell News Report. I’m going to come right out and admit my own stupidity in that last week’s edition of the Bell to Bell was delayed because I managed to lock myself out of my own house. It manages to come up just short of “the dog ate my homework” on the list of lame excuses, but it ended up being something as simple as me thinking I had my keys and not realizing I didn’t until the door slammed shut. Six hours later, I was back in my house but with no time to put together a decent news column. I respect you readers more than to just churn out a half-assed piece in a couple of hours, so I figured that the one week break would be better than a poor quality column. Once you’re all done laughing, scroll on down to read this week’s edition as we have lots to cover including all four weekly wrestling shows, the possibility of a WWE-produced WCW DVD set, a short preview of TNA’s Destination X pay-per-view and all of the other news fit to comment on in the past seven days. Now that we’ve gotten all of the pleasantries out of the way, let’s ring the bell!

Sunday

The Stories

Kudos to someone doing the right thing…

— The biggest story of Sunday and possibly the year so far was the news that JBL has stepped up to save Ohio Valley Wrestling from the brink of extinction. The company had been going through some rough financial times, losing their deal with Six Flags (which housed most of OVW’s biggest shows) as well as their local television time slot. JBL stepped in to do the right thing and is now the main financial backer of one of the most influential developmental promotions in wrestling. You might think that I’m overstating things a little bit, but when you look at the list of talent that has passed through OVW on their way to the WWE it speaks for itself. The company has had a hand in helping some of the biggest stars in the industry make their big breakthrough and if having JBL on board means that they’re going to be able to continue operating, I’m all for it. There’s even talk that with JBL being the main sponsor there could be a deal in the works to make OVW a WWE Developmental territory again. If that happens and Danny Davis gets a chance to train another batch of future superstars, my words from earlier calling this the biggest story of the year will prove to be prophetic. The effects of it might not be felt this year, but five years from now when a new crop of main event stars are filling arenas every Monday and Tuesday night, people will be able to look back at this moment and know that it was something big.

— A recent WWE developmental release also made some news on Sunday as Patrick Brink posted a blog on his MySpace page listing out the reasons why he was let go from his deal. After reading the entire thing, I have to say that the WWE was right in letting him go because he just didn’t seem to be mentally ready to handle the life of a wrestler. As a performer in the business, guys have to be completely conscious of their look at all times and this guy ended up screwing around with it not once, but twice. I get that he had personal issues and that it’s easy to get a little out of shape while you’re in the midst of rough times, but to lose 47 pounds in three months means that you were essentially doing nothing to take care of yourself during your personal crisis. It’d be like someone working as a tax preparer deciding that because of all of the personal tragedies in their life, they were going to start turning everyone’s tax return in blank. If you’re someone who knows the inner-workings of the business even a little, you have to know that your look is a big part of who you are and it’s your job to maintain it. Adding in the new tattoos that were unauthorized and also ended up changing his look, my guess is that Brink didn’t realize that part of the job. To me the showing up late to rehab isn’t that big a deal, but it’s still something that shows someone to be unprepared for the type of commitments and dedication to being on time that is required of pro wrestlers. Hopefully the kid gets his head on straight and works through the indies while growing up a little bit and once that’s done he’ll get another shot. I’ve heard people complaining about how this is a perfect example of how little the WWE cares about their contracted talent, but I have to say that that’s a crock. This guy got three strikes and he’s out. That’s just the way life goes sometimes. If he’s smart he’ll use this as a wake-up call, rather than some sort of “why me?” pity party.

Monday

The Show

Monday Night Raw Results:

WWE Intercontinental Championship: JBL vs. CM Punk (C) – Winner: JBL (pinfall, Clothesline from Hell)
Maryse vs. Melina – Winner: Maryse (pinfall, headslam on the mat)
Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: Chris Jericho vs. Kofi Kingston – Winner: Kofi Kingston (pinfall, spinning front kick)
Rey Mysterio, Finlay and Christian vs. The Miz, John Morrison and Kane – Winners: Rey Mysterio, Finlay and Christian (pinfall, Mysterio’s West Coast Pop on Morrison)
Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes vs. Triple H – Winners: Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes (forfeit)

The show opened up strong this week as we had Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker in a talk-off to begin the build to their upcoming match at WrestleMania. I really enjoyed Shawn’s promo before Taker showed up and it got even better once the Deadman made his appearance. I dug that Shawn showed up on Smackdown last week with his highlight reel and that Taker fired right back with his own personal greatest hits list of all 16 of his WrestleMania victims. The only thing better would have been if they had played off of their past in the Hell in the Cell, but that would have ended up reminding us how old both of them are and I don’t think that’s what they’re going for here. They even touched on the whole quasi-religious deal of Shawn being on the side of light with the Undertaker fighting from the darkness. While it adds a whole new level to the program, I’m really hoping that it’s just a seasoning sprinkled on top rather than a main ingredient. I also really liked Shawn’s whole “I respect you, but I ain’t afraid of you, bitch” angle that he seems to be taking into the match and if these guys can follow up this promo with the same type of match that they gave us a taste of at the Royal Rumble a couple of years ago, this should definitely fit the bill when it comes to a match having a WrestleMania feel to it. The last thing I wanted to touch on about the opening segment was that this was a promo with two of the biggest foreheads in all of the WWE. I always thought Shawn’s was pretty damn big since his comeback, but Taker’s was looking MASSIVE here. That thing looked like he was ready to help Metaluna defend their planet against the Zagons. Come on, give Uncle Scrotor a hug!

Right after that segment, they launched right into an Intercontinental Championship match with CM Punk defending against JBL in a battle of semi-doughy initials. I’ll admit that I’ve been really down on JBL pretty much his entire comeback as his matches have been lacking greatly in the quality department. It’s hard to say why, but the people seemed to be even more behind Punk this week than they have been recently. I don’t know if it was because of the history between Punk and JBL, but it made the match a little more fun. I liked the match. I liked the pacing of it and both guys brought their “A” Game and they actually worked well together. I’ll attribute that mostly to Punk, but JBL actually managed to hold his own and even shone during the bout. When was the last time someone was able to say that about a JBL match? Exactly. If this ends up leading to match at WrestleMania with the Intercontinental Championship on the line I’ll be more than happy. JBL and whoever he ends up facing off against will be able to sell the shit out of the bout on the microphone for the next three weeks and it’s likely that JBL will have his game stepped up even higher with WrestleMania in his home state. I don’t know who they’d be able to put him in against, but I have high hopes that it could actually be entertaining and a worthy addition to the WrestleMania card. It’s too bad that Punk is already in Money In The Bank because a mini-program between Punk and JBL would be made of microphone win.

This week we also FINALLY saw the contract signing for the World Heavyweight Championship match at WrestleMania. They led up to it with the attempted signing from Smackdown last week with John Cena taking everyone out and freaking out Vickie Guerrero with his whispers of sweet nothings. This week, Edge and Show tried to sign again, but were again interrupted by Cena, this time with Vickie saying that Cena had been added to the bout. Understandably Show and Edge were pissed and it all led to Cena outing Vickie and Big Show’s “affair”, which was how he managed to get himself into the match to begin with. I like where the segment took things in the end as instead of Cena having to play handicap match during the whole thing, it’s going to be a legit triple threat match with all three guys trying to kill each other. While I like where things are, the segment itself was death. It was weird and creepy with Cena saying he loved Vickie and while in the end it was all laughs as he got one over on all three heels, it seemed to be a REALLY long way to go for the meager pay-off of adding Cena to the match and it forced me to watch Vickie and Show kissing, something that I’ll likely never be able to scour out of my brain. The only thing I liked about the segment was Edge’s Ike Turner face after he saw the video footage and Show and Vickie cowering away from him. That was awesome but the rest of it was pretty much crap and a bit of a waste of time. The crowd seemed confused before it got to the end and Cena did his “ta-dah” moment, which is never a good thing heading into a co-main event of the biggest show of the year. As for WrestleMania, it’s not Cena/Edge which we’ve seen a million times and it’s not Edge/Show, which would have been terrible, but with the participants it could end up being decent or it could be outright awful. My hopes are pinned on decent, but I’m doubting it at the moment. Hopefully that changes between now and April 5th, but I’m going into it expecting the worst.

The “main event” of the show and the last match of the show between Kofi Kingston and Chris Jericho was a quality match, as were their earlier matches when the Intercontinental Championship was at stake. They did a good job with the time they were given and the finish with Ric Flair making the surprise appearance to cost Jericho his spot in Money in the Bank was great. The post-match promo with Jericho calling out Flair and saying that he wants his “WrestleMania moment” next week with Flair was good stuff. I really hope that Flair doesn’t come out of retirement and that they find a way to have Flair be involved without getting into the ring for an actual match. The only thing I didn’t like about it was Jericho’s weird, breathy, phone sex operator tone of voice. That was just completely out of character for him and

Last Monday, they did a decent job of getting the WWE Championship match over with the whole “no touchie-touchie” deal that Randy Orton implemented. They pissed all over it last Friday on Smackdown with the attack and they went even further down that road this week on Raw as Orton hid in “his home in St. Louis” while Legacy was expected to do his dirty work for him. The interview segment with Orton in his home with his Real Doll wife was boring at best and horrible at worst. That led to the final segment with Triple H doing his best Jason Voorhees impression, stalking Orton and all of his houseguests. You have to wonder why there would be so much company around while there’s a potentially homicidal scorned husband out for vengeance and the blood of the host, but I guess that’s why I don’t write television. I totally get that they’re trying to sell this as a match that’s personal enough to spill out of the world of WWE and into the “real world”, but the whole thing up to the fight between the two was lame and forced. Both guys had great intensity when they got into the comfort zone of throwing down, but neither guy is going to be up for any Academy Awards anytime soon. After a hot start, this angle is perilously close to tipping over the edge into meaningless territory. They’ve got three weeks to salvage it and I’m hoping they can right the ship because I had thought this had potential to be something special after the RKO on Stephanie.

The Stories

Let’s hope Frankie doesn’t poop on the plaque…

— Koko B. Ware was announced as the latest inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame during Monday’s episode of Monday Night Raw and the shit hit the fan very soon after. Yes, I get it. Randy Savage isn’t in the Hall of Fame. Guys that deserve to be in it aren’t in it yet and Koko got in ahead of them. Honest to Christ though, if everyone that everybody wanted in the Hall got in in one shot, there’d be no reason to have the ceremony next year. You’re already getting Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Funks and Bill Watts this year, what more do you people want? Before he went into the WWF, Koko Ware (or Stagger Lee if it was after his loser-leaves-town match against Bobby Eaton) was actually one of the better wrestlers in Memphis and was even part of the Pretty Young Things team with Norvell Austin, one of the best tag teams in that promotion at the time. When he came to the WWF, he got slapped with the bird gimmick but he made it work as he was still one of the highest fliers in the promotion at a time when guys like that weren’t all over the place. He didn’t have a huge WWF career, but he was very popular, was a decent worker and brought a lot of sizzle to the company with his entrance, his personalized theme song and the bird. He might not be the best candidate for the Hall of Fame, but he’s made some contributions to the business and it’s not as silly as someone like Refrigerator Perry’s induction and it’s hardly worth all of the venom that has been spewing the past few days. To top it off, he’s getting inducted by The Honky Tonk Man. Try telling me that speech isn’t going to be tremendous. When it all shakes out though, we have to remember that it’s a Hall of Fame for a FAKE SPORT. The guys that deserve to be in will be in eventually, so even if you all have to wait for a few extra years, chill out. Hell, he sang “Piledriver”. I defy you to listen to that song and not catch yourself humming it for the rest of the day.

Introducing the new trainer for the next season of Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling!!

— Also on Monday, the WWE sent word via their website that they had decided that it was time to wish Kizarny well in his future endeavours. I honestly don’t have a lot to say about the situation beacuse he was a guy that wasn’t very good in the ring, was saddled with a retarded gimmick and didn’t bring a whole lot of anything to the table. The only way this thing was going to to even hav a shot at working and avoid straying into the ridiculous territory of Friar Ferguson or some other ridiculous idea was if they let him go darker with it, but since the WWE is PG these days, that was never going to happen. I’m sure the guy will be able to make a little extra coin on the indy circuit or wherever he goes by tagging “former WWE Superstar” to his name and that’s cool for him, but to suggest he’s going to be missed is a huge stretch. I surely won’t be crying and lamenting his release.

Tuesday

The Show

ECW on Sci-Fi Results:

The Miz vs. Primo Colon – Winner: Primo Colon (pinfall, Backstabber)
Tyson Kidd vs. DJ Gabriel – Winner: Tyson Kidd (pinfall, springboard elbowdrop)
Tri-Brand Money In the Bank Qualifying Battle Royal – Winner: Christian

ECW was a one-match show this week, at least for me, but what a match it was. The combination of Miz and Morrison and the Colons continue to fire on all cylinders as Primo and The Miz (yeah, I can’t believe it either) put together what could easily be the match of the week and if it had meant something outside of their little mid-card tag feud could be a match of the year candidate. You might think I’m stretching a little bit, but it was that good. I was cringing a little bit heading into this one as the two more talented members of the respective teams were going to be sitting at the broadcast table, but Miz and Primo shocked my by not only meeting my meager expectations but exceeding them greatly. Miz started out as a bit of an oddity and a comedy act (at least in terms of his workrate), but he’s slowly starting to turn into a steady hand to have on the roster which is something I never would have expected to say when he began his tenure in the WWE. I honestly don’t know what it is about these four together, but they seemingly can’t have a bad match as any combination, on any show, is at least good and sometimes great. This was one of those occasions when it was great and it was a lot of fun to watch. The biggest thing for me that aided in my enjoyment of this one outside of the obvious of the match itself was that the commercial break was timed well enough to where it didn’t destroy the whole match. It’s something that ECW has been guilty of in the past and I’m sure will be in the future, but in this instance they managed to work around it and still put on a high-quality bout.

While I’ve seen a lot of people dig on the sniping commentary between Carlito and John Morrison during the match, I was a fan of it. There was some real comedy gold in there and while it did distract from the match slightly, the action was good enough that it was able to save it. Carlito and Morrison were both on and flashing the zingers left and right and honestly it’s the best I’ve heard Carlito sound on a microphone in a LOOOOOOONG time. Granted, I can see how it could have gotten a little bit annoying but even Striker was getting in on the fun and it was at least somethinga little different than the usual humdrum of Grisham and Striker. I’m a big fan of Striker’s work as a color commentator and he’s definitely good at what he does, but Grisham is just terrible and most times matches seem worse because of his call. With Morrison and Carlito there at least the duldrums were broken up a little bit. In terms of the Colons and Miz and Morrison, there are times in this business where people just end up having chemistry with each other. While I’m not going to attempt to suggest that this is a situation that mirrors a Steamboat/Flair or Rock n’ Rolls/Midnights deal, these four guys seem to be able to bring the best out of each other week in and week out. It’s a shame that there’s nowhere to go for either team once this is over, but I’m going to enjoy the ride while it lasts.

With all of that being said, the rest of the ECW hour was pretty much an exercise in tedium. The only spot that drew any attention out of me in the Tri-Brand main event battle royal was the finish with Christian barely managing to squeak out the win and the deal with Tyson Kidd is the same deal I’ve spoken about here before. He did finally beat someone actually on the ECW roster so I guess that’s something, but it all feels the same. I mean before I saw him in the battle royal, I had almost forgotten that Ricky Ortiz still worked for ECW. Ortiz, DJ Gabriel, etc. end up getting TV time every week for weeks at a time upon their debuts, but are soon after forgotten about completely or squashed in a match that they didn’t need to be squashed in, shooting their credibility to shit. I get that ECW is basically a developmental with a time slot, but how can they expect to develop anyone worth a damn when they end up shooting themselves in the foot trying to build new stars. It’s funny that ECW and TNA end up in the same ratings bracket because they’re the two shows every week that can either wow me with great in-ring action or be maddeningly frustrating enough to make me want to pull out what’s left of my hair.

The Stories

We already know he’s on the juice so he should fit right in with TNA’s roster…

— Speaking of maddeningly frustrating, TNA has decided that Danny Bonaduce, late of Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling, is going to make his TNA debut at the Lockdown pay-per-view on April 19th in Philadelphia. I honestly can’t believe that they’re going this route, but then again this is TNA and they’ll do anything for even the smallest shred of publicity. Things like this are what make me sad for TNA. I enjoy some of their programs, I really do. When they’re on point, the promotion can really put together great angles with even better in-ring action. The problem is that they’re so desperate to feel like they’re somehow on the same level as the WWE that they’re willing to sacrifice any amount of integrity to get there. Between the Governor Palin nonsense, the Rod Blagojevich attention grab and this piece of media whoredom, it’s starting to look a little pathetic. I’ll admit that I’ll be a lot less pissed and willing to see this as a fun sideshow deal if this is going to be one of those deals where they do it as a dark match for the local crowd to get them all hyped up rather than having him actually wrestle on the pay-per-view itself. If I have to end up covering a month’s worth of Danny Bonaduce promos on Impact, I might just stick my head in the oven. I’ll also add that I will be a much bigger fan of this if he ends up facing Carrot Top in a Steroids on a Pole cage match and they both end up killing each other. Two birds with one stone, baby!!

Wednesday

The Stories

— Well folks, it happened again. Sure, there were some small deals including the DVD extras for The Wrestler being announced as well as an interview with the artist formerly known as The Rock, but Wednesday ended up being an absolute dog in terms of news. The only thing I’ll throw in here is to congratulate JBL on becoming the only person to hold the WWE Title, WWE Tag Team Titles, European Title, Hardcore Title, US title and the Intercontinental Title. I don’t know if there’s a name for the honor, but it’s a cool one so kudos again to the big Texan. As for the rest of the day…

I got’s nothin’…

Thursday

The Show

TNA Impact Results:

Sheik Abdul Bashir vs. Rhino – Winner: Rhino (pinfall, roll-up)
Six-Man Tag Team Elimination Match: Matt Morgan and Beer Money Inc. vs. Abyss and Team 3D – Winner: Matt Morgan (pinfall on Abyss, Carbon Footprint)
Madison Rayne vs. Taylor Wilde – Winner: Taylor Wilde (pinfall, sunset flip)
Lethal Consequences and LAX vs. Booker T, Scott Steiner and The Motor City Machine Guns – Winners: Lethal Consequences and LAX (pinfall, Hernandez Border Toss on Sabin)
Rocco w/Kurt Angle and Sal vs. Eric Young w/Sting – Winner: Eric Young (pinfall, Death Valley Driver?)

TNA Impact hit the hard sell for Destination X and I have to say that while I was covering it I was thoroughly underwhelmed and while scanning through it again to write this column, I felt even worse about it. As with most weeks, the show was dominated by the Sting/Angle feud even though this week they each got to choose representatives to fight in the main event with both men standing ringside to watch their charges’ back. This was a different idea compared to what I’ve usually seen from TNA and it had a chance to be something really cool. I was even more excited when I saw that Eric Young was going to be Sting’s representative because not only do they have history together, but EY cut a money promo in the back asking for Sting to give him the same chance that Ric Flair gave to Sting all those years ago. Things were going well and I was hopeful about how the whole thing was going to play out at the end of the night, but instead TNA managed to piss all over those hopes. Kurt Angle couldn’t find anyone and instead named a member of his Main Event Mafia security team as his rep. Apparently he’s part of the team that used to be Phi Delta Slam or whatever in the old incarnation of TNA, so he could work at least a little bit, but seriously this is the main event of your show that you expect people to order a $30 pay-per-view off of? Bullshit. It led to a predictable brawl between Sting and Angle and an even more predictable stacking of the deck at the pay-per-view with Jeff Jarrett acting as the guest referee and Mick Foley acting as the special enforcer. Maybe they can get BG James to do the special ring announcing to make the homage to The Stooges complete.

I wouldn’t have such a problem with the way this whole implosion of the Main Event Mafia angle is going if they were actually battling another faction. For whatever reason, TNA has decided to completely ignore the fact that there is such a thing as the TNA Frontline and they’re just having the Mafia fight amongst themselves while the rest of TNA just carries on as if nothing is happening. They spent months putting the Mafia and Frontline together, teasing who was going to be on which side and they’ve just dropped it all in favor of pushing a 50-year old falling apart champion, a nearly 40-year old even MORE falling apart challenger, a semi-retired wrestler in his early 40’s and a retired wrestler in his late 40’s. TNA had a chance to make enough bankable stars that they could have written their own ticket well into the next decade. They had a chance to do something different than WWE or even WCW did in the past. They had a chance to do the right thing for the business and instead they’ve decided to burn all of that to the ground to feed the egos of a select few individuals at the top of the card. This despite the fact that said individuals are anywhere from ten to fifteen years past their primes (minus Angle who can still go and should be making stars left, right and center). When you add in that TNA is just as guilty as ECW is of introducing people and then forgetting them (Brutus Magnus anyone?) it seems like this show is slowly starting to become an exercise in circle jerking. The real shame is that because the ratings inexplicably continue to rise, the people with the book will think that they’re doing something right.

The rest of the show was what TNA has slowly become famous for. Talking. Lots and LOTS of talking. Matt Morgan talked about Abyss, Abyss talked about Matt Morgan, Booker T talked about AJ Styles, Foley talked about Booker and Steiner, Steiner talked about Foley, The Beautiful People talked about Madison Rayne, Mike Tenay talked about Don West. It just seemed to go on and on and on. I will say that I’m one of those few people that are enjoying heel Don West as he’s just going completely over the top with it and making it entertaining. It’s a throwaway angle and I am fairly sure it will ultimately be meaningless, but for now it’s fun to watch Don cut Tenay down at every turn while Tenay uses his trademarked look of shock and dismay. That’s good times right there. For a promotion that used to be called Total Non-Stop Action, they’ve seemingly forgotten that talking isn’t an action. I’m all for advancing angles and stories with promo time, don’t get me wrong, but when you have an interview segment, followed by a reaction promo to the interview, followed by a reaction to the reaction promo, it’s a bit much.

The only bright spot of the night was the eight-man tag featuring Lethal Consequences and LAX taking on Booker, Steiner and the Motor City Machine Guns. This one nearly popped a blood vessel behind my eye when I tried to understand the whole logic of it (as explained by Mike Tenay) when it came to the Guns teaming with the Mafia. I tried to wrap my head around it, but just kind of stopped because it was going to send me to the hospital. I guess just because Angle and Sting are fighting, the rest of the Mafia aren’t so bent on destroying TNA anymore. That’s goes beyond a gap in continuity and has turned into a full-on canyon of a plot hole. Outside of the logic gaps, the match itself was great. Six out of the eight guys are the type of guys that TNA should be building their company on and they had a fast-paced, well put together match that avoided falling into the “flurry of big moves” syndrome that most TNA multi-man matches end up succumbing to. On top of the good in-ring action, it was the one match of the show that got a decent amount of time and didn’t get completely decimated by a commerical. Most TNA matches get a minute, five minutes of commericals and then three minutes for the finish. This one we got to see from beginning to end and it made it a much better match.

The Stories

— What Wednesday managed to lack, Thursday picked up the slack big time. The first thing I wanted to touch on from Thursday was the piece from Jim Ross’ latest blog that stated that there is a Rise and Fall of WCW DVD set in the works. I am ALL OVER this because while they touched on it briefly during the Monday Night Wars set, WWE-produced DVDs have improved by leaps and bounds since then. The Monday Nigh Wars set was actually the first DVD set that I really enjoyed from the WWE in terms of historical content and if they’re able to put the same level of dedication and effort into this one as they put into the ECW set, this will be a must-have for any fan during the Monday Night Wars and should be required viewing for someone who might be new to the sport and doesn’t know about everything that went on during the last great wrestling boom. Color me excited for this bad boy.

— TNA continued to break new ground for the company on the digital frontier as they announced that their library of content will be available on Xbox Live as well as on the Zune Marketplace. When you couple this with the earlier announcement of TNA’s library being available on iTunes, the company has pretty much every front covered when it comes to allowing people to access their programming in the 21st century. This is another great deal for them, much like I thought the iTunes deal was when I first talked about that one and it’s just another one of the things that frustrates me about them. They do things like this SO well where they are actually ahead of the curve and embracing the future rather than being swallowed up by it, yet they turn around and put on a mediocre product that would seem out of place and behind the times fifteen years ago. People might think that I’m being hard on TNA because I don’t like it, but that’s not the case at all. I’m hard on TNA because they’ve proven to be capable of so much better, but they just can’t seem to get all the pieces into place at the same time.

— One more little piece of business to talk about from Thursday as Highspots.com announced a charity event that they’ll be holding in Charlotte on April 10th to benefit the Charlotte Police Department. While I’m a big fan of promotions doing charity work, the real story is that Ric Flair and Roddy Piper will be a part of the show and that after the show they will sit down to do a tandem shoot interview. I have a copy of the Flair shoot interview hopefully coming to me in the next little bit in the mail that I am dying to see it and I’ve seen one of Piper’s older shoots and I think that the combination of the two of them together is going to be absolutely epic. I didn’t get to see much of if the first go-round, but I am a big fan of the old Mid-Atlantic stuff and love it when I get my hands on new tapes from that territory and those two were front and center, meaning that they’ll have a ton of great stories to tell. Yet another DVD to add to my already expansive list of future purchases.

Friday

The Show

Friday Night Smackdown Results:

Edge vs. Kofi Kingston – Winner: Edge (submission, Sharpshooter)
World Tag Team Championship: Primo and Carlito Colon vs. The Miz and John Morrison (C) – Winners: The Miz and John Morrison (pinfall, Morrison’s Moonlight Drive on Carlito)
MVP and R-Truth vs. Chavo Guerrero and Shelton Benjamin – Winners: Chavo Guerrero and Shelton Benjamin (pinfall, Benjamin hits Paydirt on MVP)
Maryse and Michelle McCool vs. Maria and Melina – Winners: Maria and Melina (pinfall, Melina inside cradle on Maryse
Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: Finlay vs. THE Brian Kendrick – Winner: Finlay (pinfall, Celtic Cross)
Vladimir Kozlov vs. The Undertaker – Winner: The Undertaker (pinfall, Tombstone)

The blue brand chugged along on the way to WrestleMania and despite a couple of missteps, it was actually a really solid show. To me the best part was the dueling promos between Matt and Jeff Hardy as they continue to build to their eventual WrestleMania match-up. Both guys have shown that they can handle themselves in the ring, but have been a little less than impressive when it comes to their mic work. Jeff’s been doing a lot better as of late, but there hasn’t been much of a chance to hear Matt get his two cents in before this feud began. Matt started things out strongly in the ring by himself, hammering on Jeff for his past indiscretions while also tying it into the more recent “accidents”. Matt really sealed the deal when he pulled out a busted up dog collar, suggesting that it was the collar that Jeff’s dog was wearing when he was caught in the fire that destroyed Jeff’s house. After listening to everything, Jeff finally came out at that point and confronted Matt leading to a short back-and-forth before they finally threw down. The emotion of this segment was tremendous and this feels like everything the first feud between the Hardy Boyz should have been. I am eagerly awaiting their bout at WrestleMania and I really hope that they’re able to deliver up to the level that the promos have been so far.

The Money in the Bank match for WrestleMania got its final participant on Friday night as Finlay defeated THE Brian Kendrick to earn the last spot in the showcase. The match wasn’t bad and Kendrick looked good in the loss, but it’s a shame that he wasn’t able to pick up the win to get into the match. Finlay’s been in a Money in the Bank match before and he should be able to use that experience to hold his own, but this could have been a great chance for Kendrick to show what he can do in a huge spotfest on the biggest stage of the year. It’s not like either of them are actually going to win the damn thing or anything like that, but I have to think that Kendrick would have been a lot more fun to have in a match that will likely live or die on the quality of its highspots. Shame he can’t give up his weed long enough because if he could, he could easily be another great performer in the vein of Shawn Michaels.

This week we got another tag bout between The Colons and Miz and Morrison and while it wasn’t as good as the earlier bouts between any of the combinations, it was still a pretty solid encounter. There were a few spots where it felt like it was deja vu, which is bound to happen when two teams meet as often as these teams have recently, but all in all they managed to make it entertaining. I don’t know where this is going to end up going since there aren’t any other teams for either team to feud with, but I’m alright with that for now because we’re getting to see these teams working and getting better with each other every week. What I really want to see is a winner-takes-all match at WrestleMania between the two teams that gets about twenty minutes or so. It’s been forever since I can remember there being a decent tag team match at WrestleMania and if they can manage to get there with this feud still at a high level in the ring, these four could put on a classic. I really liked that this week’s match didn’t end up ripped up by commercials too, which meant that we got to see the whole thing.

The main event saw The Undertaker sending a message to Shawn Michaels by getting his win back from Vladimir Kozlov in a pretty decent big-man brawl to close out the show. They got a good amount of time minus the commercial break and this was fairly obviously one of Kozlov’s better matches since his debut. For once he looked comfortable in the ring and was actually more believeable for me here than he was in the match that he actually beat Taker in. The uncanny ability that Taker has gained in his advanced years to be able to pull quality matches from everybody is awesome. I’m sure that part of it has to do with his part-time schedule which keeps him from being broken down like practically everyone else on the roster, but it’s still great to know that when Taker’s in a match, it’s at least good and has a chance to be something great. The show ended strong with Taker striking his signature pose while looking up to the WrestleMania logo at the top of the arena. It’ll be interesting to see if Michaels gets some in-ring time next week on Raw to try to continue this game of anything you can do I can do better that seems to be happening between them.

The Stories

I shoulda dropped the big leg on that damn lawyer, brother…

— Hulk Hogan’s divorce situation has gotten a LOT messier in the past few days as Hogan got into a verbal altercation with his ex-wife’s attorney on the steps of the courthouse after a hearing that saw a judge release $225,000 of Hogan’s frozen assets due to a recent back surgery which has left Hogan unable to earn any money. There’s video floating around of the altercation and it’s a mixture of funny and sad as both guys are clearly hamming it up for the camera. The best part for me is when Hogan’s cutting a promo on the lawyer while signing an autograph for the guy’s son. Class act all the way, Hulkster. The best news that I can think of to come out of this is that with Hogan’s back injury and the need to release his frozen assets, there’s absolutely no way that Hogan will be able to appear or compete at WrestleMania 25. Rumors had been floating that Hogan’s ego was going to barge its way into the show, but now those can be completely squashed, making me a very happy camper.

Saturday

The Show

TNA returns to pay-per-view this Sunday with Destination X featuring the return of the Ultimate X match as well as the explosion between the titans of the Main Event Mafia as Sting and Kurt Angle will do battle for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship. Here’s my thoughts on the big matches of the card.

Samoa Joe vs. Scott Steiner: Quick, violent destruction. Anything else and all of this build-up being given to the new Joe and his Nation of Violence will be rendered worthless.
Winner: Samoa Joe (pinfall, Muscle Buster)

Ultimate X for the X-Division Championship: This should be good as Lethal Consequences and the Guns have both shown the ability to put on entertaining spotfests. Suicide is also interesting as Daniels is a veteran of Ultimate X and always seems to be able to shine in the spotlight in matches like this. Much like what I said earlier about Samoa Joe, unless Suicide is able to get the win and solidify himself immediately as a threat to the division, all of the build they’ve spent on him will be useless.
Winner: Suicide

Matt Morgan vs. Abyss (10,000 Thumbtack match): Abyss won the first showdown between the two and now that Morgan is back to 100%, this should actually be a better match than that first one. The only logical place for this feud to go is for Morgan to get the win, driving Abyss further into madness and further into his dark place which should hopefully lead to more violent tendencies and maybe a Full Metal Mayhem match or broken glass type of match at Lockdown.
Winner: Matt Morgan

TNA Knockouts Championship: Sojournor Bolt vs. Awesome Kong (C): This one could either be decent or absolutely bowling shoe-ugly. Bolt should get the win here and pick up the belt, despite her inexperience. It would make sense considering that they rushed through the break-up of the Kongtourage to get to it and give Kong some time off while she’s working through some injuries. Then again, this is TNA and they don’t necessarily deal with sense in most of their feuds so that means…
Winner: Awesome Kong (pinfall, Implant Buster)

TNA World Tag Team Championship: Team 3D vs. Beer Money Inc. (C): TNA has booked themselves against it now as they’re either going to split up one of the few viable teams they have, they’re going to have their hottest act take a loss on a pay-per-view and lose their belts, or they have to have a schmozz finish on a pay-per-view in a championship match. None of those options are very appealing, but with the schmozz being the only one that will keep TNA from doing something incredibly stupid, that’s probably the way to go.
Winners: Team 3D (disqualification, Storm beer bottle shot)

TNA Legends Championship: AJ Styles vs. Booker T (C): They’ve managed to do a good job in building AJ as the guy that sick of being held down and this could actually be pretty good if Booker has his work boots on and isn’t slacking the whole match. If they want to legitimize the belt, they’ll have AJ win it to have it be treated a little more like a real title. Unfortunately, the MEM concept isn’t near being over yet and for whatever reason I can’t see them doing the right thing in this one.
Winner: Booker T (pinfall, axe kick after Nash shenanigans)

TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Kurt Angle vs. Sting (C): This is the big one and there’s enough elements here for this to be a standard TNA over-booked mess. Mick Foley will be ringside as the special enforcer and Jeff Jarrett will be the special referee and there’s going to be a ton of outside nonsense to make up for the fact that Sting is at less than 100%. If they’re looking to further push the split of the Mafia and have someone as champion that can actually go in the ring week after week, look for Angle to get the win here. It’s not going to be the Mafia interfering that will cost Sting, but likely Jarrett and Foley trying to help that will doom him.
Winner: Kurt Angle (pinfall, Angle Slam after backfired interference)

The Stories

RIP Test…

— We close out this week’s Bell to Bell with some sad news to report as former WWE and TNA star Andrew “Test” Martin was found dead in his condo in Tampa, FL. He was only 33 years old. Test began his career in Canada, training under Bret Hart and Leo Burke before hitting the independent circuit. From there, Test showed up on WWF TV as an unnamed bodyguard during a Motley Crue performance on Sunday Night Heat. From there, Test began a six-year career in Stamford beginning right at the top in a program with the McMahon family over Test’s relationship with Stephanie before slowly sliding down the card. He managed to put together a very serviceable career with two reigns as WWF Hardcore Champion as well as singular reigns as Intercontinental, European, WWF Tag Team and WCW Tag Team Champion. Test was released in 2004 but came back to the company as part of the new ECW promotion having a short run there. Following a Wellness Policy violation, Test was released and later that year he showed up for an even shorter run in TNA. Details surrounding his death are unknown at this time and it’s silly to even attempt to speculate until more information becomes available. No matter the troubled and sordid past of wrestling, no one deserves to die that young and with so much of their life ahead of them. Condolences go out to Martin’s friends and family at this incredibly difficult time.

That does it for the past week of professional wrestling news and opinions everybody. Barring any of my own raging stupidity rearing its ugly head again, I’ll be back next week to continue dissecting the Road To WrestleMania XXV as well as to give my thoughts on Destination X and the fallout from the pay-per-view. Enjoy the pay-per-view, have a great week and I’ll see you all right back here next Sunday!

If you’re a fan of MMA, be sure to check out Nokaut.com for more of my work.