The SmarK Retro Repost – Fall Brawl ’96

– Live from Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

– Your hosts are the usual Idiots.

– We open with a really good montage of the chaos that the original nWo caused in the opening months.

– Opening match: Diamond Dallas Page v. Chavo Guerrero, Jr. Chavo was basically nothing at this point. DDP was still the pre-nWo cigar-chomping scumbag, and the idea was that DDP and Eddy Guerrero weren’t getting along very well, so Chavo is exacting his revenge. Tony summarizes the story nicely during the match. Chavito goes nuts on DDP to start, attacking him outside the ring and whipping him with a belt, but it turns into armbars once they get back into the ring. But alas, Chavo makes a fatal tactical error and DDP takes over with his boring kick and punch offense. The pace picks up as Chavo comes back with some high flying stuff, but gets dumped into the second ring by DDP. DDP’s Helicopter Powerbomb is still a unique move at this point and the move is over. Chavo blocks the Diamond Cutter with a backslide, but DDP stomps him and completes the move for the pin. Good start, good ending, bad middle. **1/2

– Jeff Katz chats with Harlem Heat online.

– A WCW Special Report with Gene Okerlund, as we review the nWo takeover. *Sniff*, seeing Bischoff go through the table still gets me right there. Watching Nash toss Rey Jr. like a lawn dart really drives home how stale and unimaginative the whole thing eventually became.

– Submission match: Scott Norton v. Ice Train. This was pre-nWo for Scott Norton. These two goofs used to be a team called “Fire and Ice” but they fought over the steroid needles too much and split. Total power match. If you don’t know who Ice Train is, just picture Scott Norton as a black guy. Dusty Rhodes is in rare form as a blithering idiot here. Norton puts the least-painful looking cross-armbreaker I’ve ever seen on Ice Train. The match is all whip, slam, whip, shouldblock, whip, clothesline, etc. Crowd is comatose. Scott Norton sells quite a lot, compared to today. In fact, he even submits to Ice Train’s full nelson! Well, nothing actively bad, but it didn’t do much for me. **

– Mexican heavyweight title: Gonnad v. Juventud Guerrera. Juvy was masked and not over at this point. This would be the PPV debut of the gangsta rappa look for Gonnad, as he joined the feared Dungeon of Doom. Many people (okay, I admit, myself included) thought that Juvy was Sean Waltman at the time. Juvy gets tossed by Gonnad but comes back in with a triple jump from one ring to the other. Nasty, nasty move as Juvy tries a rana on the floor and Gonnad powerbombs him. Jimmy Hart screams “Arriba la raza” to punctuate the move. Gonnad goes through the usual MOVES OF DOOM (rolling clothesline, sitting dropkick, goofy submission stuff) while yelling about “la raza”. They don’t seem to be meshing too well here. Gonnad is at least willing to play punching bag for Juvy’s highspots. Nice sequence as Juvy misses a plancha and gets hung up on the top rope of the opposite ring, and Gonnad powerbombs him back into their ring. Juvy blows a moonsault and Gonnad powerbombs him, hard. Everyone just stops and walks around for about two minutes, which would indicate that someone got hurt. Juvy seems okay and fires off a couple more highspots. Gonnad blocks the sunset flip to the floor spot and dropkicks him off the apron. K-dawg is looking better here than he has in ages today. They go through a complex rollup sequence that yields a couple of two counts. This match is getting a *lot* of time. Gonnad catches him off the ropes with an Ocean Cyclone suplex. Juvy is missing a lot of spots here. He goes for the 450 and drives his knees right into Gonnad’s head, starting a trend that would continue for years. Gonnad’s a brave man to take this abuse, I’ll give him that. Gonnad invents the 187 before our eyes, but it only gets two. Splash Mountain is enough to finish it, however. ***1/2 Would have been more with better timing and less blown spots.

– Chris Jericho v. Chris Benoit. Jericho is not our hero, role model, or paragon of virtue yet. This is, in fact, his WCW debut. Slapfest to start. Benoit wrestles like a REAL MAN and Chris takes it like a REAL MAN. Benoit puts Jericho in the Liontamer early on, which I guess is where Jericho took his from. Jericho stays in it with some nifty pinning combos, but Benoit keeps kicking his ass. Highspots from Jericho, and I’m not sure who got the worst of it. Jericho is getting booed. Nasty powerbomb for two. They get into a chop-fest and Jericho ends up getting suplexed onto the floor. Benoit: “You wanna be famous?”…STOMP! The shitkicking continues through to the diving headbutt for a two count. Benoit is hitting him so hard I’m surprised his eyes don’t pop out of his head. Cut to the hot ending as Benoit’s stuff gets reversed for a series of Jericho two counts. Slugfest, then a tombstone from Jericho. The Lionsault misses, the lariat doesn’t. Crowd is seriously getting into this. Rana off the top gets two. Heenan notes that with the right man behind him, he could go somewhere. Ralphus? Jericho gets crotched on the top turnbuckle and Benoit superplexes him for the pin and a mega-pop. Not as good as their 95 match in Japan, but who thought it could be? ****

– Cruiserweight title match: Rey Mysterio Jr. v. Super Calo. That reminds me, when is Calo going to join the LWO? Calo dominates with a cool rolling powerslam and some high-flying stuff to start. Some idiot yells “boring” a minute in. Rey with his usual to come back. It seemed much fresher back then. Calo with a slingshot powerbomb for two, a move I invented in 1994 but never got credit for. Calo is getting an awful lot of offense for some reason. Awkward looking dropkick off the top rope, to the floor, from Calo. Then, the Mother of All Nasty Highspots: Calo slingshots himself over the top and splats right onto Rey on the floor with a senton. Good lord. Tilt-a-whirl slam for a couple of two counts. We move to the other ring for more Calo pinning attempts. Rey is getting beat on here, maybe he was injured? Crowd is getting noticeably restless at the non-stop Calo slaughter. Finally Rey comes back and hits a somersault plancha, but when he goes for the springboard rana he gets dropkicked for two. Outside the ring and the assault continues as Calo tosses Rey into the railing. Wild move as they’re standing on the apron, and Rey bounces off the top rope a couple of times and ranas Calo off the apron, then a baseball slide and another somersault plancha. No wonder he’s always injured. Calo with another pinfall try, then Rey hits the rana-rollup, but it only gets two. So Rey jumps into the other ring, then bounces off the top rope, to the other top rope, then into the rana-rollup for the pin. Wild. ***3/4

– The card pretty much goes down the crapper from here.

– WCW World tag team title: Harlem Heat v. The Nasty Boys. This would be the last PPV appearance of the tag titles before becoming the playthings of Hall and Nash and then finally disappearing for good. Kick, punch, stomp, stall. The Nasties go for the Pitstop on Booker T, but Sherri distracts the ref long enough for the heels to take over. Various chaotic elements insert themselves as the Nasties chase Sherri and Col. Parker and get jumped because of it. I always knew that Booker T was the talented one and Stevie Ray was the useless one, but it’s hard to get a perspective on HOW much Booker carried his brother unless you watch these Heat matches today. Knobs makes the hot tag to Sags, who cleans house and goes after Sherri, and a pier-six brawl erupts. Sags to the top for the Shitty Elbow, but Parker trips him up and now Sags is the Ugly Face in Peril. This is just totally overbooked. It’s so sad that the Nasties were over. Knobs gets the hot tag and yet another pier-six brawl erupts. Sherri nails Knobs with Parker’s cane and Booker T gets the pin to retain the titles. 1/2* Way too long and overbooked.

– Ric Flair shills t-shirts.

– Randy Savage v. The Giant. Just to refresh the memories of those who lost track sometime in mid-98, at this point Savage WAS NOT nWo and the Giant WAS nWo. Brawl outside the ring to start, which ends quickly with a Giant slam on the concrete. A WCW-formula Savage match follows, with Savage taking a beating non-stop for several minutes before coming back with a slam and the big elbow (to a huge pop) out of nowhere. Hogan comes down and pulls the Giant out before the three count, and the nWo attacks while Nick Patrick conveniently admonishes the Giant. Savage gets tossed back in and Giant gets the easy pin. Bleh. *

– Wargames: Hulk Hogan, Kevin Nash, Scott Hall & Sting v. Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Lex Luger & Sting. One of the Stings is not like the other, one of these Stings just doesn’t belong, can you tell me which Sting is not like the other before I finish this rant? This would be the debut of nWo Sting and the last wrestling appearance of Sting before Starrcade 97. Trivia question: What were the last words spoken by Sting? Answer to follow in the Bottom Line. Arn Anderson starts out with Scott Hall and the fans chant “Razor, Razor!” Nyuk nyuk. Not much going on here. Hall, of course, takes a sleeperhold. They don’t even bother to do the rigged coin toss on-camera, they just pretend that the nWo won a toss in the back. Kevin Nash is the next man and Anderson is a dead man. The Outsiders beat the holy hell out of Anderson (no blood) until Lex Luger comes down to even the sides. Luger goes nuts with clotheslines and yells a lot. The Outsiders take over again in short order until Hulk Hogan comes in as the third man (get it?). However, Luger and AA are ready and beat the crap out of Hogan as he comes into the cage. AA and Hogan fight in one cage while the Outsiders double-team Luger. “We Want Flair” chants erupt. The nWo continues the beating until Flair comes in…and does the riverboat dance. Oo, that’s scary. Flair and Hogan go at it and Flair low-blows everyone in sight. Things look good for the Horsemen…until Sting comes in for the nWo. Or rather, nWo Sting. The announcers bemoan Sting’s turn as he pounds on Luger. The crowd isn’t fooled. Thus begins a great tradition of fake Stings fooling the announcers and no one else. The nWo has their way with the Horsemen…until the real Sting runs in for WCW. Sting destroys everything in sight…and then walks out on his teammates, basically forever. The nWo completes the destruction as nWo Sting puts Luger in the Scorpion deathlock until he submits. The crowd is absolutely in shock. ***

– Randy Savage attacks Hogan, but gets jumped by the nWo and beaten into oblivion. Elizabeth comes out to beg for mercy but she gets spray-painted too. I still have no idea how she ended up with the nWo. Hogan grabs the mike and rants and raves as everyone poses. Geez, doesn’t anyone know when to just END THE DAMN SHOW? Another chokeslam and spraypaint job for Savage. We head back to the announce table to wrap up the show and the nWo comes over and chases them off, too. What a horribly down way to end the show.

The Bottom Line: The first 2/3 of the show rocks, but the nWo stuff is crap, a trend which would continue until they took over the entire card and sent the quality completely downwards. Still, a very recommended card for some great wrestling before the nonsense starts.

Btw, not counting stuff said in the ring, the last words spoken by the “real” Sting in WCW were in conclusion of the pre-match interview before Wargames, to Lex Luger:

“I’ll see you in a while.”

Indeed