Csonka’s TNA Impact Review 10.27.16

Csonka’s TNA Impact Review 10.27.16

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Eli Drake and Aron Rex defeated EC3 and Jessie Godderz @ 15:10 via pin [***]
– DJ Z, Mandrews and Braxton Sutter defeated Rockstar Spud, Abyss and Crazzy Steve @ 4:05 via pin [**]
– Laurel Van Ness defeated Allie @ 4:45 via pin [**]
– Cody & Brandi Rhodes defeated Mike Bennett & Maria Kanellis @ 11:30 via pin [*]

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– Matt hardy has called his scribe to his personal pumpkin patch for a special Halloween celebration. Queen Rebecca, the loyal Brother Nero, King Maxel and Senor Benjamin are there. The family goes through a maze of corn (a maize maze?), we get some corn jokes, and Matt has a premonition. He tells the scribe an outsider will arrive at the compound, step foot on the land of deletion and deliver a message that is looming. It’s time for Treat or Delete. As you would imagine, the Hardys actually had a giant corn maze on their property.

EC3 and Jessie Godderz vs. Eli Drake and Aron Rex: First of all, HOORAY for a match to kick things off. Secondly, I love the booking of this match; EC3 and Drake have issues, Godderz and Rex have issues, they escalated them all last week and we get a tag match. It makes sense and it doesn’t burn out the singles matches. EC3 and Godderz took control early, working over Rex. They both hit dropkicks, but Rex fought back and eventually got the tag Drake. EC3 chased Drake around the ring; Drake would tag back out and allow EC3 to work over Rex. Godderz and EC3 worked quick tags as Drake got the tag, but they worked double teams on him and cleared the ring as we took a commercial break. Post break, Rex was working the heat on Godderz. Rex and Drake isolated him in the corner, with Drake laying the bots to him. Drake and Godderz had some communication issues on a clothesline suck under spot so they repeated it. Godderz then fought back and got the tag to EC3. He ran wild on Rex; Drake cut him off by grabbing the leg and that allowed Rex to attack. Drake connected with a powerslam and elbow drop, which got 2. Solid heat segment here, with the crowd into it more that it was early on. EC3 fought back, but missed the corner splash and Drake got a near fall off the neck breaker. Drake and Rex continued their assault on EC3, but EC3 got a sleeper on Drake, but Drake reversed and got a sleeper of his own. EC3 escaped with the jawbreaker, and then got the tag to Godderz. He ran wild, good intensity here as he hits a powerslam and then an Angle slam on Drake. Drake raked the eyes, Rex tagged in but Godderz tossed him and then dropkicked Drake. Drake tossed Godderz, but EC3 rushed in and beat down Drake. The ref tried to break it up, Godderz hit a springboard forearm to Drake, but Rex arrived, raked the eyes and then used a foreign object (taped knuckles it appears) to KO Godderz for the win. Eli Drake and Aron Rex defeated EC3 and Jessie Godderz @ 14:30 via pin [***] In a way there was nothing special to this, but that’s why it succeeded. It was a good and strong basic tag, with the heels isolating the faces and working a good heat and the pacing was strong. Godderz losing, and getting screwed (the taped up rings on his fingers according to commentary) again by Rex, also worked well.

– Maria gloats about taking out Brandi Rhodes last week. She says Brandi will hide from her, and then Brandi chased her out of the locker room.

– Borash interviews Grado. Grado loves Halloween, and says tonight he will dress up as someone he always anted to dress up as. But it’s a secret.

– Back at the Hardys, trick or treaters arrive. Matt offers treat or delete, and Matt gives out GREEN BEANS! Jeff sings obsolete to the kids, and they say OBSOLETE back! More green beans for the kids as Matt makes “Fat Hardy” jokes. Delightful.

– Spud says he is upset about being overlooked and is upset with DJ Z over Team X Gold. He has two men that will team with him.

Grado Time: Grado says he loves TNA and says this is his dream. But he wants more. Tonight he wants to bring out a guy who has been an inspiration to him, a guy who is a legend and future TNA hall of famer. Robbie E. Robbie arrives, and Grado says that this is Halloween, and he can be anyone he wants to be. Grado goes backstage, strips down and has “BroMans” tights on, because he wants to be a BroMan. Robbie says it takes years to be a BroMan. Grado rubbed a bunch of spray tan on his face and Robbie is completely mortified. They then danced around, but Robbie was still not thrilled as Grado fell into the ring. They then fist bumped and Robbie got into it. Los Ingobernables de Orlando arrived and beat them both down. Robbie got taken out and then they dropped Grado with a spike piledriver. Sometimes comedy is a hit and sometimes you swing and miss. This did nothing for me in that regard. The DCC beat down was ok, but lacked any real intensity to make you care.

– Earlier today, Allie met with Billy Corgan, who says Maria has no match making power any more so she doesn’t have to wrestle. She knows she will likely get her ass kicked, but she has to stand up for herself because Miss Maria and Miss Lauren have not been very nice to her. Allie is completely adorable.

DJ Z, Mandrews and Braxton Sutter vs. Rockstar Spud, Abyss and Crazzy Steve: Abyss and Sutter to begin. Sutter worked over Abyss with punches and a missile dropkick,. Steve tagged in, but Mandrews took him down, but Steve leveled him with a lariat for 2. After Steve had control, Spud tagged in and tried to work the advantage. But as soon as Mandrews fought back, Spud tagged in Abyss, who beat down Mandrews. Abyss and Steve double teamed Mandrews, cut him off and continued the heat. Mandrews hit a roll up into a double stomp and then got the tag. DJ Z ran wild on Steve, hitting the back handspring elbow and then dropkicked Abyss to the floor. Steve cut DJ Z off and Spud tagged in, but DJ Z hit the ZDT and that was that. DJ Z, Mandrews and Braxton Sutter defeated Rockstar Spud, Abyss and Crazzy Steve @ 4:05 via pin [**] Are they ever going to really explain what Team X Gold is? They are matches of X-Division talent or former X-Division champions, they have to stay as teams, rules are “strictly enforced” and…? Why are they fighting? What’s the goal? Are there brackets or a point system? We know none of this important information. The match was fine, nothing more, nothing less.

– Cody and Brandi walk, and talk about tonight’s main event. They say they will win tonight. He says Bennett is not a miracle, he’s just smoke and mirrors. Brandi calls Maria a bitch.

Lashley and Edwards Contract Signing: Edwards will defend the title next week against Lashley. They have been ordered not to have any physical interaction until next week’s match. They get to comment before signing, and Lashley gets to go first. Lashley says Edwards knows he will lose, because it is pain for Edwards and fun for Lashley. Lashley will beat him up. TNA made him jump through hoops to get back to a title shot because they want Edwards to win. But it won’t matter, because Lashley will end the feel good story. The title needs to be with him, someone credible that can defend this company, because he is the most dominant man in combat sports. He then says Edwards as a champion is a joke. Lashley gives him a chance to relinquish the title and retire a world champion. Edwards knows that Lashley is playing mind games and they worked before and he got his ass kicked. But last time, something was different, he won the title and beat Lashley. Next week they face again, and he is ready. Lashley says he did underestimate Edwards, he thought he would walk through him, and he made a mistake, and Edwards got lucky. This is not a feel good movie, this is real life, and in real life, you will pay. Edwards says he is not a one hit wonder and this is not a Rocky movie, this is his life. Edwards signs the contract. Edwards then asks Lashley what happens if HE loses, if he beats him again. Will he be Edwards’ bitch if he loses? Lashley wanted to fight as Edwards got under his skin, but they had to settle for a stand off due to the no physicality rule. Lashley signs and the match is official. Lashley said that Edwards made a mistake, and did so for the last time. While Edwards was rough at times, he was overall good here. Lashley was great, and I felt that they did a good job of setting the stage and advancing the story without the crutch of the “contract signing beat down” that always seems to happen.

– We get highlights of Maria and Laurel beating down Allie last week, setting up this week’s match.

– Laurel Van Ness hits on Braxton Sutter, and she suggests tat they celebrate their victories later tonight.

– More Hardy Halloween shenanigans. THE HURRICANE arrived. Matt asked if he was too old for this and called him a rapscallion. Matt asks where Nero’s costume is and he goes to get dressed. The doorbell rings, and Brother Nero, dressed as Ichweed, arrived and acted wacky. He then did some Halloween themed yard work. Splendid.

https://twitter.com/JeremyBorash/status/791810749492363264

#ITCHWEED #IMPACTonPOP pic.twitter.com/99fsmOQ1hd

— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) October 28, 2016

https://twitter.com/JeremyBorash/status/791814223013613568

Laurel Van Ness vs. Allie: Madison Rayne is on commentary. Van Ness tried to bully Allie around. She then attacked and worked her over in the corner. Van Ness continued to bully her around, stomping on her hand and then repeatedly slamming her to the mat. Van Ness then tossed Allie around by her hair, and then slapped her. Allie eventually slapped her back, but Van Ness leveled her with a clothesline and then tossed her to the floor. Van Ness followed and slammed her to the apron. Van Ness then charged at her, but Allie moved and Van Ness hit the steps. Allie tossed her back in and then got angry, speared Van Ness and laid in some ground and pound. The crowd loves Allie, she gets an accidental roll up and got a near fall. Van Ness quickly fought back, hit a curb stomp and scored the win. Laurel Van Ness defeated Allie @ 4:45 via pin [**] Technically, the wrestling was nothing special. It was never bad, but awkward; awkward in a way it needed to be since “Allie” is not a wrestler. Not every match as to be great, as long as the story is advanced, and that happened here. Allie has become a great sympathetic character, I just hope that they can pay it off. This worked well as the next step of the story, as she stood up for herself while Van Ness was the unlikable bully. As Allie said earlier, she got her ass kicked, but this was something the character needed to do.

– Back at the Hardy compound, we see more Halloween shenanigans. Two peopled dressed and Trump and Hilary arrived, and Senor Benjamin tased Trump. Ichweeed talked with Hilary, saying he sent her a ton of emails, but never got a reply. Vanguard1, dressed as a ghost arrived (VanGhost1?), and ran off Hilary. Matt then said he needed to eliminate the country with his broken brilliance, and said he would run for president. He’s got my vote.

– Godderz meets with Rex and accuses him of cheap shotting him and cheating. Rex says a win is a win. Godderz asks for a title rematch, and Rex agrees. Godderz says he will show him what a champion looks like.

– Back to the Hardys and a demon child delivers a tablet, it’s the premonition coming true! Matt rallies the troops, and they watch the message, which is from the DCC. They want the titles and challenge them to a match next week.

– Mike Bennett and Maria cut a promo about tonight’s main event. Bennett says no one has done more than he has, Lashley is afraid of him, he beat EC3 and Edwards, and Cody is not the miracle. Maria says Brandi is “one tenth of her” and adds that they are the only power couple in TNA.

Cody & Brandi Rhodes vs. Mike Bennett & Maria Kanellis: Brandi wanted to start, Maria teased starting and of course bailed. Bennett then scored a cheap shot on Cody and we got underway. Bennett worked over Cody for a bit, Cody hit a gut buster suplex and Maria then slapped him. Brandi argued with Cody, she wanted the tag, but that allowed Bennett to hit a cutter and the Bennetts took the heat as we went to a commercial break. Post break, Bennett worked a slow heat segment, tossing Cody to the floor so Maria could score some cheap shots. This led to Cody and Bennett brawling on the floor, Cody went for a punch but ended up hitting the post. Back in, Bennett mocked the flip flop and fly of Cody’s father, and then accidentally knocked Maria to the floor. Maria then went to the other side, via the floor, and pulled Brandi to the floor. Bennett continued to work over Cody in as bland a manner as possible, there was no real heat to the heat. Maria then accidentally kicked Bennett in the balls, and Brandi then got the tag. She did a poor tackle and then she and Maria rolled around, chased each other and then Maria got cut off and Brandi laid in some poor strikes and clotheslines. She then tripped Maria into Mike’s balls (as he was sitting) for the visual blowjob spot. Brandi locked in a really bad attempt at the twister as Cody locked din the American nightmare. The Bennetts tapped. Cody & Brandi Rhodes defeated Mike Bennett & Maria Kanellis [*] This… this was not a good match. They worked 95% with Cody and Mike, because Maria is not a good wrestler and because Brandi has limited training. While she initially trained with WWE to be a wrestler, she was transitioned to an announcer, and just recently started to train again. The Mike and Cody stretch was extremely bland, it had no emotion or intensity to it. Their singles match was much better in that regard, this was just there, killing time. And then Brandi tagged in, and with all due respect, she was not any good, at all. Her strikes were poor, she had positioning issues, her “submission” at the end was not done well, and she came off as someone who had little to no clue as to what she was doing in the ring. Watching her and Maria try to work spots was painful, and embarrassing.

– Backstage, after their big win, Cody and Brandi celebrated. Lashley then attacked and beat down Cody as Brandi begged him to stop. Lashley told him that, “no one comes into his house without his permission.”

– Next week…

* The DCC Challenge The Hardys
* TNA grand Championship Match: Champion Aron Rex vs. Jessie Godderz
* TNA World Title Match: Champion Eddie Edwards vs. Lashley

– End scene.

– Thanks for reading.

“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”

6.5

The final score: review Average

The 411

If you take out the Grado segment and the main event, you have a really fun and enjoyable show. The Hardy stuff was fun, have me some legit laughs and even built to a match. I like the Allie angle, they kept EC3 and Drake going, and they also built to some matches for next week. Not a bad show all things considered; it just lacked something and that main event was a rough way to close the show. It needed more Treat or Delete. Or just delete the main event...