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The Top 5 Terrible Little Debbie Snack Cakes

April 8, 2020 | Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz
Little Debbie Devil Cremes

The 411mania Dumpster Fire of the Week

Hello, everyone, and welcome to a special edition of The 411 Dumpster Fire of the Week. I’m Bryan Kristopowitz.


I’ve been a fan of various snack cakes from Little Debbie for most of my life. While they may not be the healthiest thing in the world to eat, there’s nothing wrong with having a snack cake every once in a while, right? You fucking know it. And I’d imagine that if you were a kid that took his or her lunch to school (you know, “brown bagged” it) back in the day that Little Debbie snack cakes were probably a part of that lunch (or maybe you had a snack cake from some other company, like Hostess or Tasty Cakes or whatever). It was often the best part of lunch. And who didn’t become monetarily amazed at the sight of one of those giant Fudge Rounds when one of them was revealed by someone? Admit it, the first time you saw one of those you were shocked for a second that there would be a Fudge Round that big. It was ridiculous. It was tasty, sure, but ridiculous.

Now, while it’s true that Little Debbie has produced many fine snack cakes over the years, the company has also produced ones that were, well, terrible. Ones that looked good on the box and were new so why not try them and they were absolutely awful. I’m sure it’s happened to all of us. And it’s always a major letdown because who wants to eat a bad snack cake? No one.

So which Little Debbie snack cakes are the worst? Which ones are, well, terrible?


Up first, the honorable mentions:


5- Devil Cremes: I’ve tried these chocolate and white crème cakes several times, hoping each time that the last one I had was just a bad one. Maybe, this time, it will be good. A chocolate cake with white crème in the middle should never deliberately be bad. And yet the reality is I’ve never had a good one of these goddamn things. The chocolate cake part is almost always dry and the crème is always bland. And I’ve tried putting them in the refrigerator to see if that would bring out the flavor and every time I end up with a cold, dry, tasteless cake. That’s depressing. As I said, a chocolate cake with white crème in the middle should never be deliberately bad. So what the hell is going on with these things?

4- Donut Sticks: These things are basically a chunk of glaze with some sort of cake in the middle, so they’re way too sweet for their own good right at the beginning. But then when you do get one that’s like half glaze, half cake, the cake is just bland. I’m not even sure what the cake part is supposed to taste like. These would probably be pretty good if the company could figure out the right ratio of glaze and cake and get a cake that actually tastes like something. Has anyone out there ever had one of these that was good?


3- Banana Twins : Banana flavored anything is always a crap shoot because the flavoring is either too bananaish or not bananaish enough. I’ve yet to have a banana flavored snack cake that was just right more often than not. It would be nice if, one day, Little Debbie or some other snack cake company could come up with a banana flavored cake that tasted like a homemade banana crème pie. Now that would be the snack cake shit.

2- Banana Marshmallow Pies: This is my most recent “new” Little Debbie snack cake and holy shit was it gross. It’s two bland cookies with even blander marshmallow filling covered in “banana” icing. Again, the banana icing doesn’t taste like anything, and I have a feeling that if it was more bananaish it still wouldn’t matter. A different filling might help. Maybe.



And the 411 Dumpster Fire of the Week: The Top 5 Terrible Little Debbie Snack Cakes Edition top spot goes to:


1- Any of the Mini Donuts: It doesn’t matter which kind of Mini Donut you get, they’re never quite right. The chocolate ones are perpetually stale, and the white powdered ones are even staler. The glazed ones, even when you put them in the fridge for a little while, are always “melted” and stuck together (how can Entenmanns make those glazed donut holes and not have them stick together, never to be pulled apart again?). The cinnamon ones are sometimes okay (they’re really the only ones worth eating). But the biggest problem with the Mini Donuts? You can never not rip the fucking bag while opening it. Never. And then you end up having to tape the bag as best you can where you ripped it but that never works. And those little bend tab things on the sides? What a goddamn waste.


And just in case you were wondering, here are my Top 5 Favorite Little Debbie Snack Cakes

5- Swiss Rolls (they taste best when you put them in the fridge)
4- Star Crunch
3- Raspberry Cake Rolls
2- Fudge Rounds (regular sized. Adults don’t need to eat one of those giant ones)
1- Nutty Bars



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