100 Percent Fordified: CHIKARA Key Decisions

Reading, PA – 11.7.2015

Championship Rundown
Grand Champion: Hallowicked
Campeones de Parejas: N_R_G (Race Jaxon & Hype Rockwell)
Young Lions Cup Champion: Heidi Lovelace

Commentary is provided by Mike Quackenbush, Dr. Rod Diamondfire, Bryce Remsburg, and Leonard F. Chikarason.

The Proletariat Boar of Moldova says Eddie Kingston faces him tonight on his journey to reclaim “her.” If Kingston wants to reclaim her, he’ll have to go through war, because the Boar is war.

Eddie Kingston vs. The Proletariat Boar of Moldova

Boar immediately big boots Kingston to the floor. He gives Kingston’s back and shoulders some shots, accentuating it by driving Kingston back first into the apron. In the ring, Boar gives him a Samoan Drop for two. Three elbow drops yield the same result. Kingston tries to fight up from the apron but Boar keeps on him with kicks to the face and head. Boar gives Kingston a belly-to-belly suplex. He clobbers Kingston’s neck with forearm shots. Boar busts out a Cobra Clutch slam for two. The Fame-Asser also gets him two. Kingston avoids the Gore. He throws a few punches to the face Boar jabs him in the throat. He goes for a Gore. Kingston catches him in a front facelock and DDT’s him. The Backfist to the Future only staggers the Boar. A second Backfist gets Kingston the win at 4:37. I was really impressed with the Boar in this match, as he was able to look dominant and mix it up with one of the top guys on the roster. I think most people expected Kingston to win, but I think this did a lot for the Boar in terms of making him a more viable threat. **½

Challenge of the Immortals
The Snake Pit (Ophidian & Argus) vs. Crown & Court (El Hijo del Ice Cream & Ice Cream Jr.)

Ice Cream Jr. is replacing the originally scheduled Princess Kimberlee. Hijo takes over Ophidian with a monkey flip and celebrates that accomplishment thoroughly. Ophidian blocks a second one and delivers a chop. Hijo uses an atomic drop on Ophidian, almost sending him into Argus. Ophidian O’Connor rolls Hijo. When Hijo escapes he is knocked into Argus. Ophidian uses the ropes for a front flip knuckle drag to send Hijo out. Jr. tries the two scoop slam. Ophidian avoids the second slam. He slingshots in from the apron and headscissors his way into a bridging backslide for two. He lands a corkscrew enzuigiri for two. Argus tags in. Jr. stops his and Ophidian’s double team attack by sending Ophidian out. Argus escapes from a monkey flip and armdrags Jr. into Hijo. Hijo jabs Argus in the throat, but Argus backdrops him onto Jr. Argus belly-to-belly suplexes Hijo. Hijo rolls out, leaving Jr. left to be double teamed by the Snake Pit. Ophidian hits the Duat Driver for two. Hijo knocks down Ophidian when Ophidian attempts to ascend the ropes. Argus shoves Hijo to the floor and frees Ophidian from a tree of woe. Ophidian headstands into a splash. A lucha sequence ends with Jr. slamming Ophidian, I think? He drops Ophidian onto his stomach for two. Max Smashmaster and Flex Rumblecrunch come out. Blaster McMassive comes in from the other side of the ring. He clobbers Argus, giving the Snake Pit a DQ win at 6:01. This was a critical point for Crown & Court to be in the top two of the Challenge of the Immortals, and with this loss, their chances are very slim. I like how the story shook out, but this was an incredibly rough watch with how sloppy everything was. Just brutal. ½*

Arctic Rescue Ant vs. Missile Assault Man

Arctic tries to get Missile to cry out Missile Assault Ant. Instead, he yells out Missile Assault Man and kicks Arctic in the stomach. He keeps Arctic grounded, mostly using uppercuts and hard knee strikes to the head. Missile grabs his head in anguish as the fans chant “Ant” at him. Arctic drives Missile to the corner and unloads with forearms and kicks. Arctic avoids a running uppercut. He forearms Missile from the apron and jumps in with a swinging DDT. Missile sweeps out Arctic’s legs when Arctic looks for a corner dropkick, sending Arctic back and bottom first into the corner. Arctic kicks Missile from the apron. Missile drives his knee into the side of Arctic’s head for a two count. He yells Man into Arctic’s face and slaps him in the face. Again he grabs his head in anguish as the fans chant “you’re an ant!” He aggressively drives Arctic head first into the corner, following in with an uppercut. He looks to do it again, but Arctic cuts him off with a pair of back elbows. Arctic heads out but Missile clobbers him with an uppercut. Arctic comes back with a clothesline. He headscissors Missile to the floor. Arctic balances on the ropes. Missile jumps up with an uppercut. Missile falls back getting his foot trapped between the middle and top ropes. He stomps on Arctic while Bryce Remsburg tries to free him. Bryce sends Missile away and successfully frees Arctic while Missile anguishes in the corner. Arctic gets in a series of kicks before dropping Missile with a facebuster. Missile uses the ropes to avoid being pinned. Arctic’s nose now bloodied, Missile pops him up into a powerslam. He looks for Deucalion’s chokebreaker! Missile thinks better of it, grabbing his head with one hand while letting Arctic down. Arctic uses a one footed dropkick to send Missile into the ropes, then catches him with a schoolboy as he bounces off the ropes for the pin at 8:14! I like Arctic in the ring quite a bit, and think he has potential going forward. Missile’s competent but I think once the whole PTSD stuff is done away with he will be even better. **¾

When Icarus was younger, he thought the world and CHIKARA owed him something, just because he outlasted all the other trainees in the school and worked hard. That was a lie. It’s the same lie he feels Condron/Cyclone/Snowflake has been telling himself. When Condron got the spotlight he deserved, he cracked, and Icarus doesn’t want Condron coming to him looking for a savior, because all Icarus sees him as is a roadblock on his path to the Grand Championship.

Icarus vs. Snowflake

The Snow Troll is in Snowflake’s corner. Icarus still cannot carry the Hammer of Peace. Snowflake sends the Troll away. Snowflake charges at Icarus but Icarus cuts him off by tripping him and delivering a flurry of punches. He chops Snowflake in the corner before whipping him across the ring for a corner dropkick. Icarus gets two with a neckbreaker. Snowflake hits the floor. Icarus follows and chops him against the ring apron. Snowflake rakes his eyes and headbutts him in the side before laying in punches on the floor. Icarus spears him and unloads more punches to the head. In the ring he comes off the top with a clothesline for two. Snowflake gets in a corner splash. He tries carrying Icarus out with a Backpack stunner, but Icarus turns it into a sleeper hold with a bodyscissors. Snowflake wiggles free and goes to the floor. Icarus follows with a pescado. Back in the ring, Snowflake drops Icarus with a spinebuster. He pounds Icarus on the back before driving his feet into Icarus’ shoulder blades. He chokes Icarus with his body scarf. Icarus stops Snowflake’s charge with a snapmare. He throws some kicks to the chest. He drop toe holds Snowflake on the middle rope and drives his body weight across Snowflake’s shoulders and back. He slingshots off the second rope with double knees to Icarus’ shoulders for two. The Boom drop and a modified slingblade get Snowflake a two count. Icarus goes for the Shiranui. Snowflake fights out and comes off the second rope with a springback Ace Crusher for two. Icarus kicks out of Snowflake’s signature. Frustrated, Snowflake is handed a chair from the Troll. Bryce grabs it out of Snowflake’s hands. He walks right into the Wings of Icarus. Snowflake kicks out, so Icarus puts on a triangle choke. Snowflake immediately taps at 8:49. This was a heated bout that felt like a fight more than a wrestling match, which is perfect given this story of this feud. The CHIKARA nerd in me wishes Icarus busted out the Burning Wings for the finish, but that’s my own problem. ***

Challenge of the Immortals
Juan Francisco de Coronado vs. Pinkie Sanchez

Coronado represents the United Nations while Sanchez represents the BDK. In a pre-match promo, Coronado reveals it’s his birthday. Sanchez brings Coronado a cake with candles trying to get the fans to sing for them. Of course, they boo instead. Juan’s name is misspelled on the cake. Coronado blows out the candles. He O’Connor rolls Sanchez twice into a German suplex, but referee Jonathan Barber says he made a three count somewhere in there? The match time is about 0:03, but Sanchez’s shoulders totally weren’t on the mat for the three count. What should have been simple was a mess and it was of no fault of either Sanchez or Coronado. N/R

Hallowicked says there are but a few cogs to be put in place before Nazmaldun is delivered into this world. He and Frightmare will be at the front of the slaughter, and all the non-believers will not be shown mercy. All glory to Nazmaldun.

Challenge of the Immortals
The Gentleman’s Club (Chuck Taylor & Orange Cassidy) vs. The Nightmare Warriors (Hallowicked & Frightmare)

Cassidy says we’re all here to see him flex, and does so. Cassidy wants a test of strength, which Taylor says is his finisher. They start the test from a kneeling position where Frightmare grabs a courting hold. Cassidy slowly walks to the ropes. The pain in his hand causes him to crumble to the mat. Frightmare and Cassidy cartwheel through each other’s offense before reaching a stalemate. Cassidy passes out in Frightmare’s chest. Frightmare turns him over for a pin so Taylor breaks it up. Hallowicked grabs Taylor by his hair and pulls him to the corner. Taylor is sent across the ring. He hops over Hallowicked. Taylor strings a toreador into a tornado clutch into the Kentucky Crawdad. Hallowicked gets the bottom rope to break the submission. Taylor grabs Hallowicked’s stem. Hallowicked jabs him in the throat. Frightmare charges in and gets caught with a backbreaker from Taylor. Taylor wants to hop off of Cassidy’s back but Cassidy is too far away. Taylor shows him where to be planted, and Cassidy hops off of Taylor’s back into a back splash to Frightmare! Frightmare is able to crotch Cassidy on the top rope and send Taylor to the floor. The Nightmare Warriors isolate Cassidy in their corner until he is able to send them both to the floor and kick them away. Taylor tags in and cleans house with clotheslines. He whips Cassidy into both Frightmare and Hallowicked, then hip tosses him into a Frankensteiner on Hallowicked. He drops Cassidy onto Hallowicked out of a fireman’s carry, knocking down Frightmare with Cassidy’s feet in the process. Taylor then tosses Cassidy onto Hallowicked on the floor! Taylor looks to dive but Frightmare cuts him off with a yakuza kick. Frightmare then tope con hilo’s onto Cassidy, clipping Hallowicked. In the ring, Frightmare runs into a pop-up powerbomb from Taylor. Taylor misses a top rope moonsault. Hallowicked hits him with a step-up enzuigiri. The Nightmare Warriors take him down with the Headless Horseman. Cassidy breaks the cover. Cassidy’s double chokeslam attempt doesn’t work, but he does spit orange juice in their face. After that the double chokeslam works! He applies a double Orange Crush. Frightmare and Hallowicked kick him in the head. Hallowicked tosses him into Go 2 Sleepy Hollow from Frightmare. Taylor stops the pin attempt. He fights off the Nightmare Warriors. Taylor gives Frightmare Sole Food and Hallowicked the Brodie Knee. Frightmare yakuza kicks Taylor. He runs the ropes for a tornado DDT. Taylor counters with a Falcon Arrow for two. Hallowicked sends Taylor into the ring post. Cassidy leaps off the top into a kick from Hallowicked in mid-air. Hallowicked then drops Cassidy with Never Wake Up for the pin at 12:56. This was thoroughly enjoyable, with a lot of action and some fun humor that didn’t detract from the action at all.. Taylor and Frightmare were especially on top of their game. This was also surprisingly competitive which always makes a match more engaging. Of all the teams in the Challenge of the Immortals, it’s the Gentleman’s Club I want to see more from when it wraps up. ***¼

Obariyon and Kodama reveal that the Batiri is complete once again, with Kobald being brought back to life! UltraMantis Black fulfilled the promise he made back at “Shock and Aww”, as seen in this video. Oleg the Usurper joins his teammates. This frightens Kobald, as he remembers Oleg as the man who killed Dragon Dragon. Oleg assures Kobald he would never hurt him, to which Obariyon and Kodama vouch. Oleg says “off with their heads”, in regards to the Wrecking Crew, as they put their hands in a huddle.

Challenge of the Immortals
The Arcane Horde (The Batiri (Obariyon, Kodama & Kobald) & Oleg the Usurper) vs. The Wrecking Crew (The Devastation Corporation (Max Smashmaster, Blaster McMassive & Flex Rumblecrunch) & Jaka)

UltraMantis Black is in the Arcane Horde’s corner, still on crutches. Mike Quackenbush granted Mantis permission to replace himself with Kobald in this match given that Wrecking Crew captain Max Smashmaster refused to accept any other match but a 4 vs. 4.

The Arcane Horde attack, clearing the ring of the Wrecking Crew in quick order. Obariyon and Kodama suicide dive onto all four of them. Oleg follows up with a cannonball senton off the apron onto all three Dev Corp members. Kobald then comes off the top with a somersault senton onto all opponents. Jaka takes control of Kodama back in the ring with headbutts and backrakes. Kodama hip tosses Jaka to the corner and takes him over with a slingshot Frankensteiner. After a dropkick he tags in Obariyon. They string together an atomic drop and dropkick for two. Jaka counters Obariyon’s corner attack by chopping him in the face as he charges. The entire Wrecking Crew take turns bullying and beating down Obariyon in their corner. Smashmaster goes to the middle rope. Kobald knocks down Smashmaster, but as he falls, Smashmaster rips off the top turnbuckle from that corner. Kobald gets tagged in. He tries a Frankensteiner, but Smashmaster buckle bombs him into the exposed buckle! Kobald falls to a lengthy beatdown from the Wrecking Crew with them wisely focusing their attack on his back. When Jaka tries a superplex, Kobald is able to catch him off guard by biting his forehead. Jaka falls to the canvas where Kobald attacks him with a high crossbody. Oleg tags in, ducks a clothesline from Smashmaster, and knocks McMassive and Rumblecrunch off of the apron. Oleg forearm strikes and big boots Smashmaster. Rumblecrunch jumps in and gets in some shots, only to be splashed against the ropes. He ducks McMassive’s lariat and delivers a Usurper kick. Oleg picks up speed off the ropes before splashing all three Dev Corp members in the corner. Obariyon and Kodama pummel Smashmaster with dropkicks in the corner. Oleg calls for Off With Their Heads on all three of him. Jaka interrupts Oleg with a superkick. He nails Obariyon with a T’Challa kick. Kodama hits a springback Ace Crusher on Jaka. He tries a crossbody onto Rumblecrunch. Rumblecrunch catches Kodama and muscles him into a TKO. Kobald avoids a corner splash from Rumblecrunch. He then spears McMassive and Smashmaster. The Demon’s Toilet on Rumblecrunch gets him the pin at 16:16. Kobald looked good in his return. The Wrecking Crew played their roles excellently, accentuating their bullying with some showboating or taking time out to do menial things like fix a hair tie or their trunks. Oleg got to shine in the comeback portion of the match, but I was honestly disappointed that he didn’t play a larger role and that Mantis played no role in the match given whatsoever. In a way, ignoring Mantis somewhat trivializes what happened to him at King of Trios. The two beatdown segments were also a bit lengthy, but I do think it helped make the Arcane Horde’s comeback sweeter. In the end I enjoyed this but do believe even more could have been done for the sake of this rivalry’s story. ***¼

Challenge of the Immortals Leaderboard
Dasher’s Dugout: 12 Points
The Wrecking Crew: 11 Points
Crown & Court: 11 Points
The Nightmare Warriors: 10 Points
The Snake Pit: 8 Points
The United Nations: 8 Points
The Arcane Horde: 8 Points
The BDK: 6 Points
Battle Hive: 6 Points
The Gentleman’s Club: 6 Points

6.5

The final score: review Average

The 411

With the card and all the stories leading into this show, I was expecting better. It wasn't bad, but slightly disappointing. Kobald's return was a really fun moment and the show was an easy watch, but aside from the main event there's nothing must see.