wrestling / Video Reviews
100 Percent Fordified: CHIKARA Off The Hook
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Jeffersonville, IN – 10.24.2015
Championship Rundown
Grand Champion: Hallowicked
Campeones de Parejas: N_R_G (Race Jaxon & Hype Rockwell)
Young Lions Cup Champion: Heidi Lovelace
Commentary is provided by Mike Quackenbush, Leonard F. Chikarason, Rod Diamondfire, and Bryce Remsburg.
Challenge of the Immortals
The Snake Pit (Ophidian & Shynron) vs. The Gentleman’s Club (Orange Cassidy & Drew Gulak)
Cassidy looks worn out as he gets ready to go with Shynron. His side headlock is very lazy. Shynron very easily sends him to the ropes and shoulder blocks him down. He trips Shynron and misses a falling splash. Not winded at all, Shynron tags in Ophidian. He and Gulak trade control on the mat. When they reach a stalemate, Cassidy tags back in and asks for a test of strength, which Ophidian handedly wins and turns into a mouse trap pin for two. Cassidy asks and receives Shynron. However, he then tags in Gulak. Gulak brings Shynron down in a waistlock. Shynron grabs a hammerlock, which Gulak escapes from while holding onto the arm. Gulak rolls through a sunset flip but Shynron from the apron scores with a Frankensteiner for two. Gulak throws a stuffed tiger to Cassidy (apparently thrown in from the crowd). Cassidy cuddles up with him and falls asleep. Quietly, Ophidian places his shoulders on the mat. Gulak yells “FREE BAGEL BITES” which wakes up Cassidy, causing him to turn the pin attempt into his own cradle for two. Ophidian Kiwi rolls Cassidy, stopping periodically in a Gedo Clutch. Cassidy dizzily kicks out and rolls outside. Gulak Manami rolls Ophidian for two. Shynron and Gulak pick up the pace. Shynron avoids an ankle lock. Gulak blocks three times an apron Frankensteiner, but Shynron is able to headscissor him into a prawn hold for two. Ophidian baits Cassidy into a reverse prawn hold. Gulak breaks up the cover. Shynron and Gulak criss-cross off the ropes. Gulak rolls under a leapfrog and sunset flips Shynron for two. Shynron bounces off the ropes into an armdrag. The Leaning Tower of Shynron sweeps out Gulak’s legs. Gulak avoids a splash in from the apron. He picks up Shynron in an electric chair, which Synron turns around into a huracanrana. Cassidy and Ophidian reverse the pin in their partners favor over and overs. Cassidy and Ophidian get in a shoving match. Cassidy is upset about Ophidian stopping him from getting the win. Ophidian offers a handshake. Cassidy tries an armdrag after shaking his hand, but Ophidian has it scouted and backslides Cassidy and adds a front bridge for the pin at 14:02. Gulak and Shynron were awesome in the ring together. Cassidy’s stuff was fun, but I felt it did halt the matches momentum at an opportune time once or twice. **¾
Prakash Sabar welcomes the Estonian Farmerfrog to CHIKARA. Sabar says he’s going to squash him like the reptile he is. He’s the biggest star to come out of Georgia ever since he hit the Bronco Buster at King of Trios, bigger than Sean Waltman who he sees on TV between Friends reruns and cricket. He tells Waltman he can challenge him whenever Waltman thinks he is ready for Sabar.
The Estonian Farmerfrog vs. Prakash Sabar
Referee Larry Peace finds cucumbers on Sabar’s person before the match. Sabar tries to get a young fan to hold onto a cucumber for him. Farmerfrog shoves Sabar down in the corner. He grabs Sabar by his tongue, admonishing him for trying to cheat. He rubs his armpit onto the tongue. Sabar retreats to the floor. Farmerfrog comes off the top with a double axe handle. He takes a victory lap before throwing Sabar back into the ring. He knocks down Sabar in the corner and lands a cannonball senton. A Gourd Buster gets him a two count. Farmerfrog goes for the Sloppy Drop. Sabar counters by driving Farmerfrog’s face into the turnbuckles with a cravate. Sabar comes off the top with a high crossbody for two. He throws some kicks before licking his hand and slapping Farmerfrog across the face. He ties up his arms around the top rope and pulls them back. The Bronco Buster connects. He maneuvers Farmerfrog into a bulldog. Sabar goes for another crossbody. This time, Farmerfrog catches him and drops him with an Oklahoma Stampede for two. Sabar gives him a sole butt kick. He asks the young fan for the cucumber, but the kid basically ignores him. Farmerfrog muscles Sabar back into the ring for a powerslam of which Sabar kicks out of. He splashes Sabar in the corner and reigns down with punches. Sabar powerbombs off the second rope and puts his feet on the ropes to get the pin at 6:47. Sabar stole the show, keeping the crowd engaged while putting on a nice showing in the ring. I was getting some odd Rudo vibes from Farmerfrog, which is either interesting or bad depending on where his character is going to go. I had a good time watching this. **½
Arik Cannon starts to cut a promo. Darin Corbin calls Cannon on his cell phone, despite the fact that he is standing right next to Cannon. He thinks it’s fun, but Cannon thinks Corbin’s lightheartedness is what costs them matches. He thinks winning is fun. Corbin tries to convince Cannon they can still win with fun and slow motion, but Cannon isn’t convinced.
Arik Cannon & Darin Corbin vs. Battleborn (Lucas Calhoun & Missile Assault Man)
After exchanging holds, Cannon armdrags Missile to the floor. Calhoun and Corbin throw some air karate each other’s way. A lock-up leads to a little dancing. Calhoun karate chops Corbin in the chest after absorbing Corbin’s running shoulder block. Corbin puts on a headband. Calhoun pulls it off after a punch to the gut. Corbin sweeps his leg. They get into a cat fight back on their feet which Missile breaks up. Corbin is able to send Missile out to the floor where Calhoun has retreated to. Cannon holds open the ropes so Corbin can suicide dive onto them. In the ring Cannon and Corbin give Calhoun a double gutbuster and tandem dropkicks to the side of the head. Corbin misses a corner splash and Missile Jon Woo dropkicks him into the corner. Battleborn isolate and beat down Corbin. Corbin elbows his way out of their corner and brings in Cannon. He fights off Battleborn by himself, dropping them with stereo clotheslines. Calhoun catches Missile out of Cannon and Corbin’s double suplex. Missile sends Cannon out but crashes on the ground from missing a pescado. Cannon splashes Calhoun in the corner, then assists Corbin with a standing Shiranui. He superkicks Calhoun for a two count. Missile trips Cannon from the floor. He snaps Corbin’s neck across the top rope. Calhoun holds up Corbin and flapjacks him into an uppercut from Missile. Cannon breaks up the pin attempt. Corbin and Calhoun go into slow-mo. Corbin drops Calhoun with a stunner and celebrates like Stone Cold would. Missile gives him some uppercuts. Cannon goes for a haymaker which Missile ducks. He uppercuts Cannon three time while calling out his name in slow mo. Cannon blocks an uppercut and backslides Missile for a two count. Calhoun blocks Cannon’s haymaker. He brings time back to normal with his own punch. Corbin drops Calhoun with an Ace Crucher. Missile nails a bicycle kick on Corbin for the pin at 13:57. This was the best slow-motion sequence of this particular tour, with Missile Assault Man of all people playing into best of all. The match was pretty garden variety tag stuff before then, but it ended on quite the high note, and validated Cannon’s pre-match promo. **¾
Challenge of the Immortals
Eddie Kingston vs. Blind Rage
Kingston represents the Snake Pit while Rage represents the Nightmare Warriors. Kingston tries controlling Rage in a top wristlock while Rage goes for the neck and head. Kingston snapmares Rage and slaps him in the head. Rage backs him to the corner and smacks hin the face. Kingston responds with chops and a belly-to-belly suplex. Rage blocks a yakuza kick and brings down Kingston with a dragonscrew leg whip. Kingston throws some strikes from the floor as Rage stomps on his hurt leg. Rage pummels Kingston against the ropes. When Kingston fights back, Rage goes to his eyes to keep control. Rage throws multiple kicks to Kingston’s back. This only makes Kingston angry, as he throws his own kicks to Rage’s back, but winces in pain due to him using his bad leg. Rage dropkicks him in the knee. Rage gives him a kneeDT and throws some blows to the back of Kingston’s head and neck. Kingston makes his way up in a corner where he fights Rage away and comes off the second rope with a knee to the neck. He DDT’s Rage for a two count. Kingston also gets two with a lariat. Rage ducks a Backfist and hits a Michinoku Driver for two. Angry, Rage gives Kingston a brainbuster for another two count. Rage misses a corner attack. Kingston lights him up with rapid fire chops. Kingston misses a corner attack himself and Rage sits him on the top rope. He brings out Kingston with the Niagra Driver for two. Rage misses a top rope double stomp. He rolls to the ring grabbing at his knee in pain. Referee Larry Peace checks on him. With Peace caught up in that, Hallowicked runs in. He cracks Kingston with a yakuza kick and drops him with Never Wake Up. Rage gets back in the ring. He hooks up Kingston in an STF. With Kingston out cold, the bell is called for and Rage gets the win at 9:17. I loved seeing these two characters interact for the first time in 10 years and for the first time in singles action. The story was simple, but executed with perfection, and the Hallowicked interference adds a fun wrinkle to their age old feud. Rage also looked possibly the best he has since the CHIKARA relaunch. ***
Challenge of the Immortals
The United Nations (Juan Francisco de Coronado & The Proletariat Boar of Moldova) vs. The BDK (Jakob Hammermeier & Soldier Ant)
Coronado offers a handshake to Hammermeier, as he appreciates him not being a United Stater. Hammermeier jabs him in the throat! He holds onto a side headlock, grabbing Coronado’s bow tie when he tries to escape. Coronado rolls him up, forcing Hammermeier to release the hold. They kick each other in the stomach simultaneously. They then poke each other in the eyes at the same time. Hammermeier further digs his fingers into Coronado’s eyes. Coronado sends Hammermeier back first to the corner and hits him with an enzuigiri. Boar and Coronado give him a modified Hart Attack for two. The United Nations pummel Hammermeier, keeping the completely fresh Soldier Ant at bay. Hammermeier manages to hop to the floor and calls for Soldier Ant to enter. He does, dropkicking Boar and mowing down Coronado with a clothesline. He Koppu Kicks Boar after ducking his big boot. Soldier Ant gives Coronado a brainbuster for two. He also gets two with a Giant Swing and again with a brainbuster. Soldier Ant applies his cross military kneebar. Coronado grabs the ropes, and Hammermeier barks at Soldier Ant to release the hold. After Soldier Ant biels him across the ring, Coronado wisely rolls to the floor. Boar tries a big boot. Soldier Ant blocks. Boar tries fighting out of the Trench Slam. Soldier Ant backs him to the ropes, causing his throat clutch to be broken. Coronado grabs Soldier Ant when he hits the ropes. This allows Boar to catch him with a sidewalk slam, but Soldier Ant is up by a one count. Coronado enzuigiri’s Soldier Ant into a Samoan Drop from Boar. Again, Soldier Ant kicks out by one. Soldier Ant resists the Gore. He gives Boar a running powerbomb. Coronado breaks the cover. Soldier Ant peppers Boar with some jabs. He hits the ropes, only for Boar to boot him to the floor. Coronado follows with a suicide dive. Hammermeier goes for a rolling haymaker. Boar counters with a Gore in 10:51. They created a great dynamic with the UN as the well oiled machine and the BDK individually working well, but not together. They also provided a lot of action and made it look like either team could win right up until the finish. Getting rid of the glass breaking effect for Hammermeier’s punch was also a good idea. ***
Blaster McMassive tells Chuck Taylor is going to make his retirement tour come early, as he’ll “snap into” his neck, as demonstrated with some Slim Jims.
Challenge of the Immortals
Chuck Taylor vs. Blaster McMassive
Taylor represents the Gentleman’s Club while McMassive represents the Wrecking Crew. Taylor dropkicks McMassive to the floor the second the bell rings, following out with a pescado. Taylor gives McMassive a chop, to which McMassive responds with a big punch. Taylor throws a sole butt kick and McMassive drives him back first into a ring post. He slams Taylor back in the ring before stomping him down in the corner. They both unload some chops. Taylor goes for a uranage to which McMassive fights out. McMassive chokes Taylor on the bottom rope, then snapmares him into a chinlock. Taylor gets on an Octopus stretch. McMassive escapes and delivers a big boot. Taylor fights off a few corner attacks before coming off the middle rope with a dropkick. Some Road Dogg jabs and a Corporate Kane jab lead to Taylor trying the uranage. McMassive fights it off at first, but Taylor gets it when McMassive rebounds off the ropes. He hits the Brodie Knee, a superkick, and a DDT for two. Taylor misses a top rope double stomp. Lariat Tuben from McMassive him down. Taylor avoids the Bossman Slam. He hits Sole Food. McMassive hits the Bossman Slam for the pin at 5:34. They packed a lot of action into such a short time, and with them being close to Kentucky it was intriguing watching Taylor at the surrogate hometown hero. **½
Dasher Hatfield and Mr. Touchdown are excited to face all of CHIKARA’s current champions and prove they aren’t yesterday’s news. Icarus reminds them that their current partner in Challenge of the Immortals, Heidi Lovelace, is on the opposing side. He ponders if they would take her out, or what they would do is she took them out. Touchdown dismisses that thought, stating that they have Princess Kimberlee on their team, who was good enough to almost pin him in Minneapolis. He says that they need to put their partnership with Heidi aside so that teamwork can make the dream work.
Hallowicked, N_R_G (Race Jaxon & Hype Rockwell) & Heidi Lovelace vs. Icarus, The Throwbacks (Dasher Hatfield & “Mr. Touchdown” Mark Angelosetti) & Princess Kimberlee
This is the first time in CHIKARA history in which the Grand Champion, Campeones de Parejas, and Young Lions Cup champion have teamed up. Before he and Icarus even touch, Hallowicked tags in Lovelace. After blocking one another’s offense, Lovelace quickly derails Icarus with a flying clothesline. Jaxon and Hatfield mix it up, with Hatfield locking on a courting hold. Jaxon has trouble escaping, and once he does, Hatfield takes him over with a pair of armdrags, tripping him into a Romero Special. Angelosetti bulldogs him out of the hold. He snapmares Jaxon and elbows him in the spine. Jaxon goes under a leapfrog and hits the floor. Rockwell and Angelosetti trade running shoulder blocks, which Angelosetti using a shoulder tackle to win the exchange. He splashes onto Rockwell a few times before posing like Tebow. Rockwell recovers and drives Angelosetti back first into his corner. N_R_G both splash him in the corner, and Rockwell takes him out with a clothesline. Kimberlee dropkicks both of N_R_G outside. Hallowicked shoves Kimberlee, and Kimberlee unloads with forearm strikes and chops in response. She ducks Hallowicked’s boot and nails a leg lariat for two. She throws double axe handles to his back and forearms to the face. Hallowicked cuts her off. He then places her on his shoulders. Jaxon blind tags in, which makes Hallowicked mad enough to forgot Kimberlee and get in a shoving match with Hallowicked. Angelosetti dropkicks Jaxon into Hallowicked, then gives Jaxon a big belly-to-back suplex. The all-star team use some tandem offense to wear down Jaxon. Jaxon is able to escape from Hatfield’s slingshot suplex. Rockwell clears the ring of Icarus and the Throwbacks, but Kimberlee sends him out with a headscissors. Lovelace tries jumping in, but Hallowicked throws her to the floor! Kimberlee gets in some shots before succumbing to Go 2 Sleepy Hollow. The Championship team gets on the same page in terms of keeping Kimberlee in their corner, but the begrudgement between Hallowicked and the rest of the team is palpable. So much so that Lovelace released her Rings of Saturn on Kimberlee when she noticed Hallowicked pulling the bottom rope away. She gets in his face on the floor. Kimberlee suicide dives onto Hallowicked after Jaxon whips her to the ropes. Icarus takes down Jaxon with a pair of clotheslines and unleashes chops on Rockwell. Icarus comes off the second rope with a swinging Frankensteiner. Icarus follows Rockwell with a pescado. Angelosetti gives Jaxon a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. The Throwbacks drop him with Bo Jackson for two. The Throwbacks want a superplex. Rockwell sneaks and powerbombs the Throwbacks off the second rope instead. Jaxon moonsault presses onto both of them for a double two count. Kimberlee chops up N_R_G. She avoids some tandem offense from them, leaving both Jaxon and Rockwell incapacitated. Kimberlee and Lovelace trade chops. Lovelace takes Kimberlee down with a Saito suplex. Icarus squares off with Lovelace. Hallowicked attacks Icarus from behind. Lovelace refuses to leave the ring, so he kicks her in the stomach! Jaxon checks on her while Icarus unloads with forearms on Hallowicked. Hallowicked and Icarus block each others key offense until Icarus scores with a Shiranui. Kimberlee powerbombs Jaxon. Rockwell Hyperwheel’s Kimberlee. Hatfield gives Rockwell a neckbreaker. Lovelace gives Hatfield a Fame-Asser. She goes for a tornado DDT on Angelosetti, but he stops her momentum and pops her up into an Ace Crusher! Angelosetti is distracted by Lovelace recuperating on the floor. Hallowicked cracks Angelosetti with a yakuza kick. With Bryce Remsburg distracted by Heidi’s situation, Eddie Kingston sneaks in and nails Hallowicked with the Backfist to the Future! Kimberlee takes advantage, folding up Hallowicked in the Alligator Clutch for the pin at 20:17! This was fantastic in so many ways, with a lot of stories interspersed amongst some excellent wrestling. They reaffirmed the strong unit that Dasher’s Dugout is with Angelosetti’s motives still being questionable, built up Kingston vs. Hallowicked, teased Icarus vs. Hallowicked, and gave Kimberlee a lot of momentum as her team continues to climb the Challenge of the Immortals and she pins the Grand Champion. Not to mention the interaction between Hallowicked and Heidi built to tomorrow’s main event. It’s as near perfect a main event as you can get. ****
Encore Match
Fire Ant vs. Oleg the Usurper
Fire Ant suicide dives onto Oleg as he is making his entrance. In the ring he lands a high crossbody. He gets in some shots to the chest and a kick to the head, but Oleg splashes him against the ropes. Oleg then spins him out into a facebuster across his hip. He misses a somersault senton and takes the Yahtzee Kick. Fire Ant spikes him with a tornado DDT. He goes for Burning Down the House. Oleg throws him down and hits Off With His Head for the pin at 1:23. That was a real fun 90 seconds. *
Challenge of the Immortals Leaderboard
Dasher’s Dugout: 12 Points
The Wrecking Crew: 11 Points
Crown & Court: 9 Points
The Nightmare Warriors: 7 Points
The Snake Pit: 7 Points
The United Nations: 7 Points
The Arcane Horde: 6 Points
The Gentleman’s Club: 6 Points
The BDK: 6 Points
Battle Hive: 6 Points
