411’s Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling Recap 11.01.08

Hi, hello & welcome to 411’s recap of Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling! I’m Steve Cook, and I hope you’re having a happy Halloween weekend. If you’ve got some time to kill, feel free to check out Election Thoughts from Cook’s Corner! It’s my debut column for the Politics section, which has grown by leaps and bounds in the past few months. I’m pretty proud of my first effort there, which will hopefully be the first of many.

Here’s the recap…the dwindling ratings are starting to make me wonder if this will last the full eight weeks. I hope so, but you never know with the television business being what it is. CMT seems more supportive with this than MTV was with Wrestling Society X, but I am still uneasy. I don’t want to have to watch other crappy reality shows to get my Trishelle fix, damn it!

Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling Episode 103: Pick Your Gimmick

After disappointing the judges, the celebrities must improve their image. But will their new personas be enough? Hulk Hogan also steps into the ring and surprises each team with a special practice.

Cast:

Team Beefcake: Danny Bonaduce, Todd Bridges, Butterbean, Trishelle Cannatella, Tiffany
Team Nasty: Dustin Diamond, Erin Murphy, Dennis Rodman, Frank Stallone, Nikki Ziering
Coaches: Brutus Beefcake & Brian Knobs
Judges: Eric Bischoff, Jimmy Hart & Hulk Hogan

We start the show with the celebrities in the gym working out. The coaches show up and Beefcake’s voice is shot from yelling at them last night. Knobs’ isn’t, and he tells them that they’re terrible and have to bust their ass to get it right. The judges come in, and Hulk also expresses some concern. He tells them they need to show more showmanship. Eric tells them that this week’s challenge is for them to create their own in-ring personas. In order to do this they will have the help of Jimmy Hart, who Hulk puts over as being the best at developing characters. I’m not so sure myself, since Jimmy’s tactic seems to be introducing them to his closet of clothes and letting them play around for a bit. Which they do, and somehow Jimmy is upset when he comes back and they haven’t accomplished much except looking silly. What’d he expect? He tells them they need to figure out who they are, which is sound advice. I don’t know who I am, and I wonder about this as we head to a commercial…

To the ring, and Jimmy informs the other judges that it was horrible but he tried to fix it and we’ll find out in the match if it worked or not. Eric is pissed off because the celebrities aren’t taking the challenge seriously. The three moves this week are a basic tie-up, working the arm, and working the ropes. Hulk hopes that the wrestling gods are with them.

It’s practice time! We visit Team Nasty first, and Knobs cuts a promo on Nikki’s low tolerance for pain. They seem to get a hang of the moves, and all of a sudden the Hulkster shows up to show them a few things. Dustin & Dennis are chosen to impress Hulk, but Dennis kind of mucks things up when he doesn’t move when Dustin pushes him off the headlock. Hulk then works Dustin over, who describes the experience as impressive, scary and exhilarating.

We come back from a commercial and Hulk visits Team Beefcake’s practice. Trishelle is jealous because Hulk gives Danny just about all of his attention. For his part, Danny says he’s very intimidated by being around Hulk. Meanwhile, I wonder if Hulk ever sold other peoples’ arm work the way he sold Danny Bonaduce’s. Funny stuff.

On the day of the match, Knobs wants to hear his teams’ personas. Nikki’s goal is to get booed as much as Dustin does. Erin wants to have a big move in the match, and complains that she hasn’t got to do much except get beat up and sell. Well, you gotta do what you’re good at, right? Not that Erin’s been great at that so far, but I digress…

It’s match time! Jimmy explains the rules and we begin with the action…

Match 1: Team Nasty
Heels: Candy Girl (Nikki) & The Winner (Dustin) vs. Faces: Mistress Of Mayhem (Erin) & Rodzilla (Dennis)

Jimmy enjoys the audience participation early in the match instigated by Rodzilla & Winner. Rodzilla takes the offensive early, but Winner uses the ol’ thumb to the eye, which I don’t think was on this week’s move list. Bubba the Love Sponge isn’t buying into Winner’s offense on Rodzilla. MOM enters the ring and hits a double axehandle on Winner. She works the arm a bit before Winner gets the advantage. MOM’s selling still isn’t looking very good. She gets a schoolboy for 2, but the heels doubleteam her while Rodzilla tries to get in the ring and distracts the referee. Candy Girl finally tags in and continues the pattern of distracting Rodzilla while MOM gets beat up behind the ref’s back. We get a panty shot on Erin on a schoolboy, nice work by the cameraman on that one. MOM finally makes the tag, and Rodzilla beats up Winner some before tagging MOM back in. MOM goes up top, Rodzilla tosses her into Winner and she gets the 3 count!

Winners: Mistress Of Mayhem & Rodzilla

After a commercial we get our second match…

Match 2: Team Beefcake
Heels: Mr. Not So Perfect (Todd) & Mean Bean (Butterbean) vs. Faces: Red Hot Redneck (Trishelle) & “Dangerous” Danny Bonaduce

I told Penguin last week that Trishelle was going to bear my children one day, and she’s done nothing to change my mind this week. I do love Southern girls with tight jean shorts and blonde hair…anyway, we get a tie-up from Bean & Danny to start and that goes how you’d expect it to. Danny does some taunting that gets the crowd excited and causes Bean to charge him. Bean hits the corner instead, and Redneck trips him over. A double pin gets a two count. Danny works the arm some and then tags in the Redneck. Redneck keeps trying to work Bean’s arm, but Bean keeps yanking her down by the hair. She tries a clothesline that has no effect at all. NSP tags in, forearms her, sends her into the corner and chokes her with his wrist tape. Todd’s gimmick of not being so perfect seems apt, as he misses several elbowdrop attempts. Tag to Danny, who boots NSP, hits a forearm and rams his head into the corner. Hulk comments that they’re bringing the house down. Flying shoulder tackle by Danny! Bean has seen enough and tries a double team move on Danny, but misses and wipes out NSP instead. The Redneck takes the opportunity to yank Bean’s pants down, and we’re seeing…well, way too much for my liking. He chases the Redneck around the ring with his pants down while Danny hits a crossbody block on NSP for the win!

Winners: Red Hot Redneck & Dangerous Danny Bonaduce

The judges are bowing down to the victors, so I’m guessing they liked it.

After a commercial, the judges address the celebrities. Hulk is happy with their personas and tells Team Beefcake that they are safe. Eric says that he didn’t really have any problems with Team Nasty’s match other than their timing was a bit off. Hulk tells Dennis & Dustin that they’re safe. Jimmy says that Erin’s adorable and the crowd loves her, but it looked like she was a bit lost out there. Hulk says Nikki needs to step her game up. He’s torn about the Candy Girl. In the end, Erin Murphy is a jabroni, and she gets out of Hulk’s ring.

Erin had a good time. That pretty much sums up her comments, really.

That’s all for this week, join us next time when Nikki’s dedication (huh?) is put to the test!

You can watch Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling at 2 PM & 8 PM every Saturday (along with other replays all week long) on CMT…………………brother.