wrestling / TV Reports

411’s TNA Impact Report 04.12.10

April 12, 2010 | Posted by Joseph F. Martinez

• Jeff Jarrett is out to start the program. Tenay reminds us that this is the new start time for TNA. I completely forgot. Highlights of Jarrett’s confrontation with Sting from last week follow.

Jarrett says TNA stands for Total Nonstop Action. Because of this, he isn’t going to talk about kicking Sting’s ass. He’s going to do it right now. He walks down the ramp and up into the rafters. He says they aren’t playing games tonight. Camera man finds Sting and Stinger tells him to be quiet. Jarrett attacks Sting and throws him down some steps. He yells “I want an answer tonight.” He continues the beatdown on the stairs. Sting turns the tables and chokes Jarrett. Double J pokes Sting in the eyes and re-gains momentum.

Jarrett continues his assault on the ramp to the ring. He takes Stinger’s jacket off and nails him in the face. More face shots follow that. He eventually takes Sting into the ring and joins him. Sting gets to his knees and Jeff wants an answer. Lights go out and they turn back on to see Sting with a bat. He strikes Jarrett in the stomach. The upper leg is Sting’s next target. He nails Jarrett one more time but that brings out Jeff Hardy. Sting bails.

• We are in the back with Jeremy Borash and all of Team Flair. Flair says the focus of TNA is in the room. He says Sting’s assault on Jarrett was an example of what’s going to happen tonight. Team Hogan and Hulkamania will end at LockDown. Robert Roode says Jeff Hardy will never fly again after their match. Desmond Wolfe chimes in and discusses his beatdown on Abyss last week. Abyss is a dangerous animal, but like all animals, Abyss can be tamed. Wolfe vows to do that tonight. Styles lets us know that Wolfe’s match is a tag team bout between Styles, Wolfe, Pope and Abyss. Flair “WHOO’S” us out of the room.

• We get sent back to Mike Tenay and Taz. They run down the card for tonight. Jesse Neal and Team 3D are out shortly after. Brother Ray says the originally scheduled tag match is now a New York Street Fight. That’s after the break.

Match One
Team 3D and Jesse Neal v. The Band
New York Street Fight

We join the match in progress after the break. Crossbody from Jesse Neal to Sean Waltman. Brother Ray splashes Scott Hall and D-Von attacks Kevin Nash. JESSE NEAL CHANT! Neal smashes a trash can against Syxx Pac’s skull. Brother Ray does the same to Scott Hall. Devon slams the can top against the head of Big Sexy. On the ramp, Brother Ray nails Scott Hall in the back with a kendo stick. Neal shoulderblocks Waltman inside the ring. Body slam by Neal to Syxx Pac. They put the trash can lid on Waltman’s groin and nail it with a kendo stick. Neal attacks both Waltman and Nash with the kendo stick while Devon chokes Scott Hall with something. Trash can to the head of Nash from Brother Ray. That is followed up by a bunch of shoulderblocks. Waltman finally gets in some offense with a kick to Neal’s chest. Brother Ray puts the trash can over Nash’s head and hits it with the stick. Waltman is getting choked by Neal in the corner. 2 or 3 shots to Scott Hall’s head form a trash can lid are delivered by Brother Devon. On the outside, Ray flies from the steel steps with a trash can to Big Sexy’s head. Ray slams Hall to the mat and they set up for the Whatsup headbutt. It connects. Poor Scott Hall. Team 3D and Neal outnumber Hall in the ring 3 to 1 when Brother Ray gets Devon and Neal to grab some tables. They send one inside and Ray sets it up near the corner. Big Boot from Ray to Waltman. He whips Waltman and delivers a big back drop. Ray sets Waltman on the table AND BUBBA THE LOVESPONGE IS OUT. He distracts Ray for a while allowing Syxx Pac to get off the table and on the turnbuckle. He delivers a facebuster through the table for the win.

WINNER: THE BAND
Fun “squash” match that kept the storyline going on. Good enough for me.

• The Band continue their assault on Brother Ray until ERIC YOUNG makes the save with a hockey stick. He gets on a microphone and says he has a bone to pick with Big Sexy. He suggests a match between Nash and Young at LockDown. Nash nods his head making the match official, I guess.

• Christy Hemme catches up with Hulk Hogan IN THE BACK. He says Team Hogan could be doing better but he has four main event guys who are serious about LockDown. We will see what Team Hogan is about at LockDown.

Hogan sees Eric Bischoff on the phone and sits down, asking Hemme to leave. He asks Bischoff what he and Flair were talking about. They will continue the conversation in Hulk’s office.

• Shannon Moore is on the screen which means something. Announcers let us know a match is about to go on and Frankie Kazarian is his opponent. Tenay asks us for the first time tonight to call and text our friends and let them know Impact is on.

Match Two
Shannon Moore v. Kaz

Grapple starts us off. Kaz takes Moore to the mat but he gets up. Kaz gets him in the corner but the ref breaks the hold. Moore poses. Another grapple happens. Moore sends Kaz to the mat and gets a headlock for a second. Kaz gets out and applies one of his own. Moore gets out and wrenches the arm. That’s reversed by Kaz into a headlock. Moore tries to whip him off but Kaz keeps the lock on. He takes Moore to the mat. Moore gets to his feet and tries to whip Kaz off yet again. It fails, Kaz takes Moore back to the mat. Moore gets to his feet and slams Kaz to the mat. Another lame pose from Moore. Moore gets an arm wrench applied but Kaz reverses. Moore reverses it into his favor. Kaz does the same. Moore tackles Kaz down and they do a ton of counters until Moore delivers an arm drag. Moore locks Kaz’s arm but Kaz gets to his feet. Kaz tries to toss him off but Moore keeps the hold locked onto the arm. Kazarian gets to his feet and takes Moore into the ropes. Kaz delivers a punch and whips Moore into the ropes. Moore slides under and delivers an inverted atomic drop. He sends Kaz to the mat and then delivers a legdrop to the stomach. Cover gets a one,

Moore works over Kaz in the corner. Kaz whips Moore into the opposite corner but he replies with a crossbody block. Two count. Moore attacks Kaz in the head and whips him into the ropes. Kaz holds onto the ropes but Moore charges after him. Kaz sends him to the outside by holding the ropes. Kaz joins him outside and punches him. Kaz whips Moore into the ring apron and shows some heelish actions. He sends Moore back in and delivers a slingshot legdrop. Pinfall gets two as Douglass Williams walks onto the stage.

Kaz whips Moore into the corner and delivers a German suplex. He covers and it gets a two count. Douglass Williams is now on commentary. Chinlock applied by Kazarian. Fans will Moore to his feet and he punches Kaz off. Kaz punches Moore in the face and whips him into the corner. Moore tries a crossbody block but Kaz gets the knee up and covers. Two count.

Camera misses a Kazarian attack but he covers for a two count after. Kaz re-applies the chinlock while we get a camera view of the three men arguing at the booth. Moore gets to his feet and punches Kaz off. He bounces off the ropes and Kaz botches a counter, sending both men to the mat. Ref starts to count both men up. It gets to six before both get up. Kaz charges Moore in the corner but misses. Moore strikes with a clothesline. He follows that up with two kicks to Kaz. Kaz falls to the floor so Moore tries a baseball slide. Kaz avoids but Kaz gets punches. Moore climbs the apron and makes his way onto the turnbuckle. Moore connects with a moonsault. Douglass Williams berates Moore for his flippy junk. Moore takes Kaz back inside and climbs the turnbuckle. he connects with the hurricanrana and tries a pin. Two count.

Moore strikes Kaz in the corner. Kaz reverses a whip attempt by putting Moore on his shoulders. He slams Moore to the mat and covers. Two count. Kaz positions Moore on the top rope. He connects with a dropkick, causing more angst for Douglass Williams. Kaz joins Moore upstairs but Moore kicks him down. Moore connects with the Whisper in the Wind and covers. That gets a two count.

Quick rollup in the corner from Kaz. Two count. They swap pin attempts, each getting two counts. Kaz tries one more pin attempt but the bell rings, time limit draw.

WINNER: DRAW
Solid match from both men. First time I’ve ever been entertained by Shannon Moore. Douglass Williams was solid on the commentary too.

• Douglass Williams says he’s going to put an end to their nonsense once and for all after the match. They chase him so he runs to the back.

• Jeremy Borash is with Velvet Sky and discusses her decision on the leather and lace match. She says the match isn’t for the Knockouts Title. She says it’ll be on line this Sunday, in a six women tag match. Apparently both Knockout titles are on the match in that bout. Sky says the first women to be stripped will lose the match tonight. She asks JB if he has any more questions and he doesn’t say anything.

• Hulk Hogan is angry that Eric Bischoff has crossed a line. He runs down Bischoff’s mistakes over the last couple of weeks. Bischoff wants to know what Hulk wants him to do. Apologizing for being him? Hulk says he isn’t looking for an apology but wants to know what’s with Bischoff. He points out Bischoff’s conversation with Flair last week and Bischoff says he was just getting some notes from the enemy because Team Hogan was a mess. He leaves, leaving Hogan to contemplate…

But not for long because Jay Lethal enters his office. Machismo says they need to lace the boots up one more time. Hogan jokingly says they can do so after LockDown if Lethal can find the tights and boots.

• After some Taz and Tenay discussion, we get thrown to the back with Angelina Love and Jeremy Borash. He asks her about the match stipulation and she says she would have chosen a wrestling match. She didn’t come to TNA to parade herself around the ring like a lady in the night. She came to prove she is the best.

She is stopped by Tara. Borash says they have to co-exist as partners at LockDown. Tara says you keep your friends close and your enemies closer. They trash talk each other before we get sent to a commercial break.

• Christy Hemme interviews Pope and Abyss. She says their matches at LockDown can be the most important of their careers. Pope says it’s put up or shut up time at LockDown. He spouts off some catchphrases until Abyss focuses on their tag match tonight. He says Wolfe is going to need a firetruck (or bazooka or rocket launcher) to take Abyss down. Abyss gives HULK his word that he will not let him down.

• The TNA Knockouts Champion, Angelina Love, enters the Impact Zone for the Leather and Lace match. We get a recap of that silly box opening ceremony from last week. Velvet Sky is out with her Tag Title and a whip-esque item. She finds a mic somewhere and says this will not be a leather and lace match. The perverts in the crowd don’t deserve to see her dressed down. Instead, Love will be handcuffed while Sky beats her down with her whip. It all happens after a commercial break.

Match Three
Angelina Love v. Velvet Sky
Angelina Love must be handcuffed

Love kicks Sky before she can make her entrance. Love corners sky but the ref holds her off. She continues the kicks, but the ref eventually takes her off. Velvet Sky nails Love with the Knockouts Title. She gets a microphone and says the match is an I Quit match. She punches and kicks the downed Love as someone tries to start a VELVET SWALLOWS chant. Sky chokes Angelina and grabs the microphone. Love refuses to quit. Sky goes back on the offensive and finally grabs her whip. She nails Love with it and starts choking her again. Sky asks if Love quits, she doesn’t. Sky directs Love’s head into the corner. She props Love there and again gets the microphone. She says she’ll strip Love naked to get her to quit. She takes Love’s shirt off and Love again says she isn’t quitting. Velvet Sky chokes Angelina Love and the other two members of the Beautiful People come out.

Tara is out and she slaps Lacey Von Erich. The three members of the Beautiful People leave the ring. Tara checks on Love in the corner and takes off the handcuffs. Tara and Love look at each other in the ring, Tenay notes the uneasiness. Love extends her arm out for a handshake but Tara turns her back and leaves.

WINNER: …Draw?
So that happened, considering she could have had any match, it seems kind of silly but it hypes that LockDown match and furthers their feud. So it isn’t all bad.

• Tenay says something is going on in the back of the Impact Zone. He throws it to Christy in the parking lot. Abyss is seen down on the floor and Hemme says all they know is that a car drove off quickly. Hmm.

• Christy Hemme confirms that Abyss has been hit by a car in the back. He is able to speak and is talking to Hulk Hogan.

• Jeremy Borash interviews the tag team champions, Matt Morgan. Morgan lets us know that they are able to defend the title by theirselves. Sadly, TNA management is forcing them to name another person to the team so he finds Amazing Red. As far as Matt Morgan are concerned, Amazing Red is the best pound for pound wrestler in the ring. They tell Amazing Red to do all the flippy stuff that they do and the Matt Morgans will deliver a carbon footprint for the win.

I like the we stuff from Matt Morgan.

• Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin make their entrances first. THE BLUEPRINT and Amazing Red are out after. We get a highlight of that nice shot to the head from Morgan to Hernandez from three weeks ago.

Match Four
The MotorCity Machine Guns v. Matt Morgan and Amazing Red (C)
TNA Tag Team Championship match

Matt Morgan and Alex Shelley start us off. Morgan shoves Shelley to the mat but Shelley gets up with some kicks. Shelley bounces off the ropes for an attack but Morgan sends him to the mat with a shoulder. Sabin tries to get involved but Morgan takes care of him. He side slams Sabin onto Shelley. Morgan throws Shelley to the outside and clotheslines Sabin out of the ring, sending the show to some commercials.

We’re back with Sabin and Amazing Red trading counters. Red eventually takes Sabin down with a head scissors. Shelley comes in on a tag but Red takes care of him with a kick to the back of the head. Red delivers a dropkick to Shelley in the corner. Guns try to double team Red but he goes outside. Sabin catches Red with a huge kick, as the announcers let us know there is a tape of the stuff that went down in the parking lot. Sabin brings Red back inside and covers. Two count.

Sabin misses a suplex but counters a Red counter. Red kicks Sabin and tries a suplex. Sabin catches him and the Guns take Red out with a double team suplex. The Guns distract the refs so Morgan drags Red to the corner. He tags himself in and clotheslines Sabin. He delivers multiple elbows to Sabin in the corner. Morgan grabs Sabin by the back of the head and slams Sabin into the turnbuckle. Body splash to Shelley in the opposite corner. Morgan whips Sabin into Shelley but Sabin avoids a strike. Shelley avoids one as well. Shelley kicks Morgan in the back of the head. He climbs the turnbuckle and flies off with a crossbody. Morgan catches him but Sabin kicks him down. They cover but Morgan kicks out before three.

Red comes in on a tag but Sabin stuns him with a kick. Shelley dropkicks Morgan to the outside but Red knocks him down with a dropkick. Morgan comes back in and kills Shelley with a clothesline. Amazing Red delivers the Code Red to Chris Sabin and covers him for the win.

WINNERS: Matt Morgan and Amazing Red
Entertaining match. Morgan looked strong and it Amazing Red made it work with his fellow X Division mates.

• Matt Morgan is angry that Red got the cover. He attacks Amazing Red and sets him up against the steel pole. He goes for the big boot but one of the Guns pull Red away.

• We’re back with Christy Hemme in the parking lot. I don’t know much about EMTs and how they work but Abyss is still on the floor, barely getting a neckbrace fitted on him. Apparently the video Tenay referred to during the last match has the whole incident in it’s entirety. We’ll get to see that after some commercials. I wonder if they followed Abyss’ advice and brought in a firetruck.

• Hemme lets us know that Abyss is finally on his way to the hospital. We get footage of Abyss getting hit by a car and it looks funny. They enhance the footage and it looks like Desmond Wolfe is in the car. Tenay says the main event is in jeopardy.

• Robert Roode is here for his match with Jeff Hardy. Hardy enters the Impact Zone after and Tenay discusses the fact that these men are on opposite sides of the Team Flair-Team Hogan encounter at LockDown.

Match Five
Jeff Hardy v. Robert Roode

Fans chant Hardy to get us going. The two men grapple, Roode takes Hardy into the corner. Ref breaks the hold but Hardy slaps him. Roode applies a chokehold but Hardy whips him off. Roode takes Hardy down with a shoulderblock. They do another series of rope whips with Hardy taking Roode down. Hardy slaps Roode so Roode runs after him. Hardy takes him down with an arm drag. Arm bar applied by Hardy. Roode tries to whip Hardy but Hardy sends him down with a shoulderblock. Double legdrop by Hardy. He covers and gets a two count.

Twist of Fate attempt by Hardy is foiled by Roode, who goes to the outside quickly. Roode drags Hardy to the outside and whips Hardy into the steel steps. Roode lifts Hardy and sends him back inside the ring. Roode kicks Jeff in the chest before lifting him up. Body slam by Roode. Roode climbs the turnbuckle and comes down with two knees into Hardy’s chest. He covers and it gets a two count.

Roode turns Hardy over and connects with another knee drop. Chinlock applied by Roode. Hardy gets up and elbows Roode off. Jawbreaker takes Roode down. Roode catches a Hardy kick but Hardy connects with a mule kick to send both men down. Roode is up first after the count. He connects with a punch. He and Hardy trade strikes until Roode kicks Hardy. Hardy reverses a whip and connects with a neckbreaker. Clotheslines follow that. Hardy stuns Roode with a front suplex. Roode gets up in the corner and reverses a Jeff Hardy whip. On the reversal, Hardy connects with the Whisper in the Wind. He covers and gets another two count.

Roode reverses a Twist of Fate attempt into a Spine Buster. He covers Jeff but Hardy powers out before the three count. Hardy gets out of a Roode suplex and connects with the Stunner. He climbs the turnbuckle but James Storm is out. Hardy kicks him off but Roode climbs the ropes and punches Hardy. Hardy shoves him off and connects with the Swanton bomb. That’s all.

WINNER: Jeff Hardy

• Jeff Hardy gets nailed in the eye with a James Storm fireball. Or that’s the announcers said. My television froze as the fireball came out. RVD tries to make the save but Beer Money make quick work of him. No replay of the fireball.

During the last match, Tenay let us know that the opening match at LockDown was a bout between James Storm and Rob Van Dam. The winner will receive the early 2-on-1 advantage in the Lethal LockDown match that night.

• Jeff Hardy is taken to the back by some medical guys. Apparently the inability to see the fireball wasn’t just on my TV, the censors didn’t let them show it. Tenay puts on a serious voice and says we can find it on TNA’s website.

• RECAP of the Kurt Angle-Mr. Anderson feud is shown after Tenay and Taz run down the LockDown card. Of course, you can find all of the LockDown coverage you need here at this fine website.

• Jeremy Borash is with D’Angelo Dinero. Pope says his prayers are with Abyss but Pope has a job tonight. He says he has a match between two people BUT IN COMES JAY LETHAL. He tells Pope to take care of the Model. He’ll take care of the Dynamite Kid. OOOH YEAH~! from Lethal and he leaves. Pope departs shortly after.

• DOG THE BOUNTY HUNTER~! is in the crowd. Taz says he’s a cool guy. D’Angelo Dinero makes his entrance after the shot of Dog. BLACK MACHISMO’s music plays~! Sadly for us, we see Robert Roode and James Storm beating him up backstage. Lethal tries to fight back but Roode takes control of him. Roode tries to slam Lethal into a wall but Lethal reverses it. Storm comes back on screen and breaks a bottle on Lethal’s head. AJ Styles and his robe are out next. Chelsea wheels Flair after. It took me a while but I’m digging Flair’s “crazy old man” gig tonight. AJ Styles says Jay Lethal has a drinking problem courtesy of Beer Money. He says it looks like a handicap match is on and calls Desmond Wolfe out.

HULK HOGAN creeps in the smoke and nails Desmond Wolfe in the back with a steel chair. He tells security to take Wolfe out as we see Pope throwing Styles off the ramp into the guardrail. Tenay lets us know Jeff Hardy is okay as Pope beats up Styles on the outside.

Match Six
D’Angelo Dinero and Jay Lethal v. AJ Styles and Desmond Wolfe

Pope sends Styles in the ring and I guess we have a match. Pope puts Styles on his shoulders but Styles pokes Pope’s eyes. Pope gets kicked to the mat. Styles lifts Dinero up but Dinero punches Styles in the chest. Pope takes his kneepads down and sets up for the Codebreaker. Flair gets out of the wheelchair and attacks Pope with the belt, causing the DQ.

WINNER: D’Angelo Dinero

• Ric Flair, Beer Money and AJ Styles beat up D’Angelo Dinero after the match. Flair takes his belt off and gives Pope a whipping. Styles lifts Dinero and throws him out of the ring. Hulk Hogan is on the stage and Ric Flair is really mad. The two stare down, with Hogan looking more cautious than anything. That’s the show for tonight.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your view), this is my last Impact recap for the site. Scheduling problems will prevent me from continuing. I could write a goodbye or whatever, but I’ll just leave y’all with something better than any words. An animated GIF of Bubba the Love Sponge getting punched.