411’s TNA Impact Report 1.12.16

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXryjzN3sh0

Hey everyone welcome to 411’s TNA Impact Report! I am your humble host Aaron our main event is Drew Galloway taking on Kurt Angle, and Jeff Hardy will step into the ring against Shyron. All this and more, here on the second 411 Impact Report of 2016.

“TROUBLE TROUBLE TROUBLE”

Ethan Carter THE THIRD makes his way down to the ring WITH Tyrus. EC3 has the World Title possession and he IS your second time World Champion whilst being undefeated. This is his vindication! I’ve been saying that all week. But there is one man who has helped him, flanking his side as he speaks- Tyrus.

Tyrus, what these people see is business. But backstage we are personal and friends.

Carter is kinda like a jerk to his own bodyguard.

Jeff Hardy makes his way to the ring with eyelid makeup. Ethan does not care for his song.

Hardy still can’t stand the sound of his voice but he comes bearing gifts. Hardy wants to challenge Ethan, and Ethan says hell to the no and brings out-

SHYNRON!!

Ethan sings along to made up music. Words do not do. He goads the flier into throwing shade at Hardy!

Carter: Oh this dog has bite yo!

And Shynron starts off with Hardy!

Jeff Hardy vs Shynron

Shynron hits his moves, his delayed outside handstand deal aka the Leaning Tower of Shynron but Jeff leaps the sweep and kicks him into the announce table.

Hardy gets distracted by Carter at commentary and throws Shynron in who spins with the kick off the apron!

Jeff catches the slingshot corkscrew shoulder dive across his knees!

Jeff kicks and blocks, and twist no! Shynron goes to the outside and they trade forearms on the apron. Jeff hits a Baby Bombshell, the fallaway face powerbomb. Twist of Fate and this over.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Jeff Hardy at 2:20

Backstage Awesome Kong TALKS and she lays into TBP for daring to cross her and promises a reckoning for Gail Kim. Here comes Madison and Velvet and they say we’re coming at your face and it’s a brawl! Commercal time won’t someone please think of the ladies!

Brawl on the floor to start the show.

You know if I was getting my ass beat and fighting back, I’d be real pissed if someone went to commercial during.

The Beautiful People vs The Dollhouse

Four on Two Match

Jade finally gets control as all four attack TBP around the arena. Kong is kicking some general ass as it’s four on two. The Beautiful People have TWO people and they’re getting their asses beat, but they also hold up against the FOUR evenly so that makes them look good or makes the others look bad I can’t tell.

Jade brings in the kendo sticks and garbage cans and chairs.

“We Want Tables!!”

Josh talks about how the Knockouts want streetfights and Six Sides of Steel. Well that escalated quickly.

Kong gets Rayne and Jade smashes her with a trash can lid. Jade misses an asai moonsault.

Sky beats on Kong with the chair. Velvet hits the bulldog to the chair.

Attacks ensue and plunder from TBP who get up a shot with sticks to the Dollhouse. Rayne hits the missile to Kong, two count!

Kong kicks Rayne around, Jade with the arms and package piledriver on Jade. It’s over.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Jade at 3:56, Package Piledriver

Angle meets with the Owner, other angle category.

Beer Money come out and they been drinkin almost all damn day. Drunk and Ready Episode Tapes Live. They plan on being drunk and or ready. “Welcome back” chants pop through. Bobby says he been drunk and now he emotional.

Storm apologizes too for kicking Roode all those times in the face.

Roode says he’s sorry for smashing a beer over his head.

James apologizes for bartabs.

Roode says he didn’t mean to puke in his cowboy hat and blamed it on the dog.

Beer Money good. Salude yall.

Wait a second

BEER!

MONEY!!

Eric comes out mocking them for being married. He tells them both what’s happened before.

James: Why don’t you just come over here, suck on this beer bottle!

Roode challenges Young to a title match. King of the Mountain, on the line.

Bobby Roode vs Eric Young

King of the Mountain Title Match

Bram at ringside, Storm on the other, this match begins with a Series of Hiptosses Combo 1 from Roode to Young. Young battles back and lands the suplex. Eric Young and Bobby Roode, always evenly matched. Eric does his rope slide and Flair feint in the corner, but Roode battles back to the delight of the fans.

Roodebomb is countered by a Belly to Belly. Two.

Piledriver no turned in to a Sharp Shooter. EY does not reach the ropes and a crossface for his troubles. Roode has Eric looking for the escape, instead, he manages a pinfall No.

Roode and Eric battle on the top. Eric bites him but Bobby hits the Roodebomb!

1!

2!!

Bram pulled the Ref out! Beer Money Suplex and tag team taunt time…

STOMPY STOMPY STOMPY NO!!

ERIC attacks James! Ref to James, Eric kicks Roode in the Roodebombs!!

NEW CHAMPEEN!!!

OFFICIAL RESULT: Eric Young at 7:43

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_GNPaEzO4A

And here’s Hebner because reasons. He’s a good man.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Mco6w5Bnpg

Miracle comes up and kisses ass to Ethan. Maria is all smiles. Carter blows him off, saying he doesn’t have time for him and Mike does not want a problem with him. Tyrus fakes and Miracle tenses! Ethan tells him and Tyrus slaps dude’s hand. Mike Bennett is none too pleased. Carter doesn’t give a shit who Bennett is.

Huh?

With Mr. Anderson (x)

Here the deal is. People have accused him of being an Asshole. Are there any others? And the cheers go up even louder.

Matt Hardy enters with family. Every time Maxwell comes out, he’s in severe danger. Seriously Matt. I mean it’s not XPW but.

Anderson says he choked. Matt gets defensive and Reby Sky looks fantastic but the kid is blocking the rest of her. Matt is all offended saying he doesn’t make excuses. He cuts a massive promo which is your basic Matt Hardy promo to a higher decibel, and they leave.

Well that was a thing.

Storytime with Uncle Drew

Drew Galloway is in the Impact Zone.

Once upon a time, oh here’s a guarantee. He guarantees a spectacle and he says he has to win to prove nothing changes. Drew says if he wants to be the best it’s a 100 percent must win. Expect Everything!

Bram says Beer Money hasn’t been relevant since 2046. Eric wants to take their beer and make them Extinct. Backstage scenes always animated.

The Wolves and Tigre Uno vs Jesse Godderz, Eli Drake and DJZ

Six Man Tag

No one helps DJZ but finally Jesse gets in and The Wolves attack Eli. Tigre wheelbarrow front knees into Eli! Davey picked the man and ran them across the ring. Jesse gets kicked around and Godderz gorilla presses Eddie, big drop. Drake takes down Eddie and says his name, then a stomp to the face and a pin.

Josh and Pope discuss how Drake walks around topless outside in the cold.

Double toss by the Pink and Black attack, Eddie with a hurricanrana on both men. The tag and Davey goes up top, Howling Invader Stomp missed. That move never works. Rolling Leg lock onto Jesse and here comes DJZ, tripped and caught and anklelock! Eli breaks it up.

Jesse takes out DJZ by accident with a clothesline!

Tigre plancha over into Drake!

Jesse has the Adonis Crab on Davey! Kick by DJZ to the face! From the Wolves on Jesse- Superkick to Brainbuster!

OFFICIAL RESULT: The Wolves and Uno at 6:52

Matt and Jeff talk backstage and Jeff tells him he needs to stay at the top level. Matt promises the offer that Ethan cannot refuse.

Ethan Carter walks out and says he wants to hear the offer.

Hardy enters the ring next and he’s got to go face to face with da Champ. Ethan says he has nothing he wants. Matt talks about humble beginnings and backyards to work his way up. Every penny in his name, he earned Carter had an open door to the business. Matt says they are forever linked as lifelong rivals.

Ethan says he had a chance to control fate when he kicked out of the Twist of Fate.

Matt says he gets one more match for the title, and if no defeaty, no Matty, no more. And then he says it again in different words. Carter is a little incredulous and he says it’s on his terms in his usual long winded but entertaining fashion. It’s a Last Man Standing challenge from Ethan and the main event for next week is set.

Alright main event time From 411…

Kurt Angle vs Drew Galloway

Drew with the tieup both locking horns to grapple, Drew with the early go but Kurt comes back with a backdrop and Drew smashes the clothesline. These sorts of matches where Galloway has something to do makes him work faster. Drew kicks and strikes but Angle with the overhead belly to belly suplex.

Keep count on throws says Josh.

Angle wraps the head and holds the man down as Drew tries to rise, locks the ribs with punches to seize up the lungs. Drew beats into Kurt and tremendous fighting spirit sees both men slam the double lariat.

Drew comes off the ropes with a clothesline, Drew misses with the Claymore and Kurt is on three, nope, four as of this writing for the Germans. Drew hammers free no ANGLE SLAM KICKOUT.

Main Finisher Kickout 1!

Ankle Lock on Galloway!

Drew presses L and R with ferocity and rolls through to avoid the move! FUTURE SHOCK DDT on ANGLE.

Nope, two count only.

Angle up and Drew, no Angle swims down his leg and Ankle Lock, no Drew has the Trap Arm Crossface.

Angle has the leg for the lock, Drew is caught! Drew in the center of the ring, press those buttons boy! Drew throws Angle to the outside!

Nonetheless, the effects of that AnkleLock tho says Pope. He knows that pain, he’s been there.

Drew off the charge on the floor and Angle suplexes him over into the guardrail!

I could do that! Well, the being tossed thing.

Angle has Drew, wraps the nope Drew has Angle. Turnaround CLAYMORE and a Two.

Galloway starts a Stompin and Angle up into a CLAYMORE!

.1 of a SECOND Kickout from Angle!

Drew sets the man on top. Drew strikes and climbs, Angle beats him back and Tree of Woe! Drew up and Spider Suplex sending Angle flying off the top!

Angle crashes down and Brian Hebner gives it a Ten- at Five they start slobberknockin!

“BOO! YAY!”

Drew clotheslines Angle down! Angle with the Angle Slam on Drew! And that’s another kickout!

Drew headbutts Kurt as fans chant THIS IS AWESOME!

Drew up top and Pope does not approve. Angle strikes him and slowly climbs AND ANGLE SLAM OFF THE TOP!

OFFICIAL RESULT: Kurt Angle at 14:59, Super Angle Slam

Next week,

Ethan Carter III vs Matt Hardy, World Title vs Career Match

Thanks from 411, please join us next time here at 411Mania’s TNA LIVE Report. Tune in for Larry’s review and share your thoughts on the Official TNA Impact Report. This is Aaron Scott, yall enjoy.