411’s TNA Impact Report 11.19.09

Hi, hello and welcome to 411’s TNA Impact Report! I’m Steve Cook, filling in for Chris Lansdell. The Serious One should be back next week, but I am here tonight to make sure you don’t miss out on all the fun from Dixieland.

Let’s go to TNAWrestling.com for tonight’s preview…

On Thursday night, TNA Wrestling returns to SpikeTV at 9/8c for two hours of Total Nonstop Action as the wrestling world witnesses the aftermath of the “Turning Point” Pay-Per-View event!

Thursday’s broadcast will feature all of your favorite TNA Superstars, including AJ Styles, Kurt Angle, Mick Foley, Bobby Lashley, Team 3D, Beer Money, Matt Morgan, the daredevil X Division superstars, the sexy Knockouts and many more!

Already announced: For the first time since “Bound For Glory”, Sting will appear to discuss his wrestling future as well as Hulk Hogan’s arrival in TNA Wrestling! What will “The Icon” have to say about Hulk Hogan joining forces with TNA? Don’t miss this huge exclusive interview!

Also on the broadcast:

– In Knockouts action, Taylor Wilde takes on Hamada
– Beer Money teams with The Motor City Machine Guns to battle The British Invasion, Sheik Bashir and Kiyoshi
– In the “iMPACT!” featured match it will be TNA World Heavyweight Champion AJ Styles joining forces with Kurt Angle to take on Desmond Wolfe and Daniels in tag team action!

Also, Mick Foley has promised to make his return to “iMPACT!” after being burned by Raven, plus news on the upcoming “Final Resolution” Pay-Per-View event on Sunday, December 20 from Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida!

TNA Wrestling…Cross The Line!

Last Sunday, there was a Turning Point. Like many other people who have done this, I don’t recap recaps.

Pyroooooooooooooooo! You are looking live at the TNA Impact Zone in Orlando, Florida. “Iron” Mike Tenay & “The” Tazz are your hosts.

Opening Promo

Mick Foley & Abyss come out to start things off. He has a bandage under his left eye due to being burned by Raven last week. Everything became clear to Mick, and he’s not sure that Dixie Carter values him. She didn’t tell him about Hogan, she won’t return his calls, and he had to show his ID to get into the Impact Zone. Foley tells Stevie & Raven that they don’t mess with him or Abyss. Foley promises revenge tonight, but Abyss doesn’t seem too excited about it, probably due to the fact that his partner is still recovering from that whole getting burned thing.

Here comes Raven, Dr. Stevie & Daffney! Stevie notes that Mick looks a little hot under the collar. The fans think Stevie sucks. Mick’s burning with anger! Damn, who writes his stuff? Stevie said it was Abyss that started the war, but it’s him and Raven that will end it. Raven’s disappointed in Foley. He’s more interested in corporate intrigue than getting revenge on them. He wonders if Foley has the authority to make a match. Foley says the match is taking place tonight. Play his music! Go to commercial!

Tenay & Tazz are at ringside to talk about how awesome Turning Point was and talk about Sting’s interview later.

Jeremy Borash is backstage with TNA World Champion AJ Styles & Kurt Angle. AJ went out there to win the match and didn’t care who he pinned. Winning the world title was the end of their friendship. Daniels wants a title shot at Final Resolution…what makes him think he’ll survive tonight? Angle has a few questions…how did he lose the title? Who’s Desmond Wolfe? Did AJ just give Daniels a title shot? AJ says he can’t back down from a challenge, and he’ll take Kurt on anytime, anywhere. Angle walks off. Yay tag team partners that hate each other!

Match 1: Scott Steiner vs. X Division Champion Amazing Red (w/Don West)

Sadly, this is a non-title match. Who wouldn’t want to see X Division Champion Scott Steiner? I know I would…West tells Red to use his speed in this match, which would be a good idea. West tells Mike & Tazz he’s ticked off about this match, Steiner is a dangerous man and…well, Steiner proves West right. Red does some kicks, a dropkick sends Steiner into the corner, headscissors reversed into a side slam by Steiner. Gorilla press, Steiner drops him Warrior style! Steinerline! Flexing bicep into the elbow….PUSHUPS! Belly to belly suplex by Steiner, he pulls Red’s head up at two. Steiner lifts him up….STEINER SCREWDRIVER! GOOD NIGHT! Steiner goes to the announce table and gets the X division title belt, along with a pipe, which he whacks Red with for the DQ. Why? Because he can.

Winner: Amazing Red (Disqualification due to lead pipe usage)
Rating: **

Any match with a Steiner Screwdriver automatically gets at least **. That’s just how it works.

Bobby Lashley comes to the rescue of Red while Steiner heads for higher ground, having already made his point. And that point? You don’t mess with Scott Steiner. You just don’t.

Borash is backstage with Kevin Nash & Eric Young. Nash has the Global championship belt in his hands, which he presents to Eric Young. EY managed to outsmart the smartest man in pro wrestling, and Nash was pissed off at first, but eventually realized that he respected him. EY agrees to team with Nash and welcomes TNA to their world. EY leaves while Nash promises Mick Foley that his answers will be here. Whatever that means.

Match 2: The Motor City Machine Guns (Alex Shelley & Chris Sabin) & Beer Money Inc. (Robert Roode & James Storm) vs. Kiyoshi, Sheik Abdul Bashir & TNA Tag Team Champions The British Invasion (Brutus Magnus & Doug Williams)

BOOZER CRUISER~! I need one of those for Christmas like a fat kid needs cake. Eric Young joins Tenay & Tazz at the announce table. Earl Hebner decrees that if Young leaves his chair, the World Elite will be disqualified. Storm & Kiyoshi start, Strom with a shoulderblock, off the ropes, arm drags by Storm, then a bodyslam gets a near fall. Tag to Sabin, kick, tag to Shelley, double kicks by the Guns gets a near fall. Shelley gets distracted, and the tide turns when he runs full speed into a big boot. Tag to Bashir, he gets Shelley with some headbutts, a Saito suplex gets two. Tag to Kiyoshi, who works Shelley over in the corner. NERVE HOLD! Shelley chops out, Kiyoshi drills Shelley with a kick, Shelley sends him into the corner, tags to Sabin & Magnus, flying forearm by Sabin, top rope clothesline, pin gets broken up and all hell breaks loose. Beer Money sends Bashir crotch first into the ring post. Kiyoshi gets suplexed on the ramp. Beer Money goes to the announce table while Big Rob accidentally takes Magnus out with a boot. The MCMGs hit a combination neckbreaker splash move that I’m sure has a name for a three count!

Winners: Motor City Machine Guns & Beer Money Inc.
Rating: **1/4

Nice little 8-man sprint there…not long enough to really develop into anything, but what was there was decent.

Young, Williams & Magnus chew out Rob Terry for costing them the match.

Tenay says that Mick Foley is searching for Kevin Nash backstage in the middle of a commercial.

We’re back, and Foley catches up to Nash. Nash gets offended when Foley calls him Hogan’s boy. Nash is out of money thanks to his suspension…if Foley gets him some money, he’ll answer all of his questions.

Did you know Hulk Hogan is with TNA now? We get a video telling us all about it. MSG was the house Hogan built…I’d think Bruno Sammartino would have something to say about that.

Abyss pleads with Mick to listen to him…Foley makes a blind referee joke and then says that tonight he has to do what he has to do. Abyss tells Mick he’s in no condition to go out there tonight. Mick says the choice is his and there’s nothing anybody can do about it. Foley is still hung up on this Hogan thing, in case you were wondering.

Match 3: Hamada vs. TNA Knockout Tag Team Champion Taylor Wilde

Series of reversals to start this one, establishing the equalness of these two. I don’t think that’s a word. Big DDT by Hamada! Kick by Wilde gets two. Superkick by Hamada, she goes up top, hits the moonsault for two. Powerbomb reversed into a sunset flip by Wilde for two, crucifix by Wilde and another rollup gets 2. Enziguri by Hamada, series of reversals, spin kick stuns Wilde, then a Michinoku Driver wins it for Hamada!

Winner: Hamada (Michinoku/Hamada Driver)
Rating: Too short to rate, quite honestly. There was some nice matwork, some spiffy moves here, but I can’t judge whether it would have gone anywhere. I’d bet these two would have a nice ten minute match somewhere. Lansdell would rate it *1/2, if you’re really hung up on that sort of thing.

Big win for Hamada over a tag team champion.

Abyss goes all Citizen Kane on a desk, and props it in front of Mick Foley’s office door. That seems like a brilliant idea, locking your tag team partner in his own office.

During commercial, Daffney sends Raven & Dr. Stevie into battle. She could send me anywhere she wanted, I’ll tell you that much.

More Hogan hype! You know, we don’t actually need Hulk Hogan in the Impact Zone with all these spiffy videos of him.

Match 4: Raven & Dr. Stevie vs. Abyss & Mick Foley

I can’t believe they’re still claiming Abyss is 6’8. In any event, Foley is nowhere to be found and this has become a handicap match. Somewhere, Larry Csonka is smiling. Abyss takes the battle right to Stevie & Raven , sending Stevie into the steps and engaging in fisticuffs with Raven. Eventually the numbers game leads to Raven leg sweeping Abyss into the guard rail. The bell rings, and Stevie is all over Abyss with punches and whatnot. Tag to Raven, who kneelifts Abyss. Both men stomp Abyss down in the corner. This continues in much the same manner for about a minute before Abyss Abysses up, he splashes both of them in the corner and sets up the double chokeslam, they block it, Shock Treatment for Dr. Stevie, but Raven prevents a pinfall. Raven reaches into his pocket and prepares another fireball…Abyss boots Raven down and prevents it, but referee Slick Johnson sees Raven’s fireball material and DQs Raven!

Winner: Abyss (Disqualification for Raven trying to make a fireball)
Rating: **

Raven & Stevie attack Abyss on the outside…Daffney comes down. Evenflow to Abyss on the floor. Daffney bought down some electrical cord, and Raven & Stevie choke Abyss out with it as we go to commercial. See, that’s why you don’t lock your tag team partner in his own office, stuff like that will happen. I remember when Ricky Morton locked Robert Gibson in his own office before their big tag team title match with the Midnight Express…it didn’t end well for Morton on that night, and it didn’t end well for Abyss here.

Trash Talk with ODB

ODB has her own talk show? Oh joy. Her first guest is Homicide, and you can’t possibly expect me to understand anything these two are saying. Homicide knows what Suicide looks like, and Suicide’s not happy about it. Homicide wants a Knockouts title shot, tequila gets consumed, and thankfully the camera cuts away from whatever followed that revolutionary bit of television.

Lauren welcomes Tomko back to TNA. Tomko is happy to be back, and after he leaves the Beautiful People show up. Velvet Sky takes the mike and talks about this annoying interviewer. Madison Rayne was horrified by this interviewer’s face. They run off. Lauren is offended. Oh, I almost forgot…DAT ASS CUBED.

Wow, how about that big Tomko return?

AJ Styles is happy about Hulk Hogan coming to TNA. I detected my Sarcasm Meter going off. Or was that my laundry machine?

Match 5: Alissa Flash vs. TNA Knockout Tag Team Champion Sarita

The Future Legend! I like me some Alissa Flash, even if my girl Traci’s all mad at her for winning the match last week. Big shoulderblock by Flash to start this thing, nice crossbody by Sarita for two. Flash blocks another crossbody with a kick. She stomps away on Sarita, some choking going on here. I think Flash has a zipper issue. Series of elbowdrops gets two. Ah, so she’s teasing us with the zipper thing. Belly to belly suplex by Sarita evens the score. Kicks back and forth, springboard dropkick by Sarita gets two. Back suplex by Flash gets two. Sarita rolls Flash up for two, reverse enziguri by Sarita gets three!

Winner: Sarita
Rating: *3/4

This was a bit better than our first Knockouts singles match, but still too short to be too exciting.

Traci Brooks runs down after the match and attacks Flash. You know, I’m as big a fan of Traci as anybody else, but she has to know that her opponents are going to use any means necessary to win a match. This ain’t tiddlywinks. If they find out she has some sort of arm issue, of course they’re going to target it. Alissa Flash did nothing wrong by targeting Brooks’ arm, and there’s no reason to continue attacking her. Unless you don’t have a match booked and it’s the only way you can get on TV…in that case, I approve.

Foley walks around backstage yelling, but gets attacked by Raven & Dr. Stevie. They choke Foley out with the wire and tell him to have a nice day.

Match 6 with Streetfight rules: Team 3-D (Brother Ray & Brother Devon) & Rhino vs. D’Angelo Dinero, Hernandez & Matt Morgan

Well, this starts out as a complete clusterfuck. The babyfaces run down like a house of fire and the street fight goes everywhere. Ray & Hernandez go at it in the ring until Hernandez does a tope con hilo onto his opponents on the outside. Dinero throws some plunder into the ring and whacks Ray with some trash can lids. Dinero opts for the cookie sheet on the floor as Morgan splashes Devon in the corner. He puts the trash can on Devon and delvers some elbows. Ray with the cookie sheet on Morgan. Rhino & Hernandez in the ring, Hernandez on top, big splash gets two! Ray hits him with a garbage can, slams Hernandez, Whassup drop gets broken up by Dinero with some kendo stick shots. Morgan tosses Devon into the ring, Dinero up top…elbowdrop to Devon’s groin with a kendo stick on top! Dinero tells Morgan & Hernandez to get the tables…Ray gets placed on one outside, Dinero whacks Devon with trashcan lids, Morgan misses a legdrop and goes right through the table! 3D on Dinero! Hernandez double clotheslines Team 3D, and after some reversals he gores Rhino! The ref’s count gets broken up, Jesse Neal whacks Hernandez with the chair, and the old guys win!

Winners: Team 3-D & Rhino (Jesse Neal chairshot to Hernandez)
Rating: **1/2

Some good ol’ mindless fun there. Though one has to wonder when Rhino & Jesse Neal mended fences and became friends again.

AJ Styles & Kurt Angle argue backstage during the commercial.

Backstage, Borash talks to the winners. Rhino welcomes Jesse Neal to the cause and says that he finally gets it. Ray deems Neal as the future of TNA. Neal is all intense and stuff and says that he will be the best. Devon promises that they will eliminate people like Dinero, Hernandez & Morgan from TNA.

Mike Tenay apologizes for the lack of a Sting interview, as Sting didn’t show up for the interview. Wait a minute…they spent all week hyping this interview with Sting, and they didn’t even have an interview? My head hurts.

Lauren is with Daniels & Desmond Wolfe, wondering if they’re on the same page. Wolfe usually likes to fly solo, but respects Daniels and they’ve both got something to prove. He has plenty of surprises in store for Mr. Mangled.. Daniels talks about how TNA wants people to think that Styles & Angle are more important than anybody else and claims that Styles can’t beat him. He will prove that he deserves a one on one title shot at Final Resolution.

Match 7: Daniels & Desmond Wolfe vs. Kurt Angle & TNA World Champion AJ Styles

Angle’s TNA tron deems him “The Greatest Wrestler in the World”. I think some IWC experts’ heads just exploded. Angle & Daniels start things…headlock by Angle, Daniels reverses, some more reversals and we get a standoff. Knee by Daniels, into the corner, kicks by Daniels in the corner. Angle fights back, dropkick by Daniels gets 1. Angle wants Desmond Wolfe, but Wolfe wants him to wait. AJ gets the tag instead so he can face Daniels…but Daniels tags Wolfe. It’s musical chairs! Armbar by Styles, off the ropes, dropkick by Styles! Backbreaker by Styles, tag to Angle, and now Angle gets to work Wolfe over. Into the corner, Daniels kicks Angle in the back of the head and now Wolfe works on Angle’s arm. Tag to Daniels, who continues the arm work. Tag to Wolfe, nice throw by Desmond. Cover gets two. Angle fights back, but Wolfe twists Angle’s arm and goes back to work. Daniels tags in, Angle with some punches, overhead belly to belly by Angle. Angle tags in Styles, who’s a house of fire on Wolfe, Death Valley backbreaker! PELE! Daniels crotches Styles on the top rope…TOWER OF LONDON BY WOLFE! Two count! Angle takes Wolfe outside after Daniels gets the tag…BEST MOONSAULT EVER ON STYLES! THREE COUNT!

Winners: Daniels & Desmond Wolfe (Daniels BME on Styles)
Rating: ***

Darn good main event here from four of TNA’s finest. As usual, you can say that they would have done even better if they had more time, but as it was this show was 10 pounds of stuff in a 5 pound bag.

Daniels celebrates as Impact comes to an end.