411’s TNA Impact Report 12.03.09

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-Lansdell is out at the Office Christmas Party, so you get the pleasure of double duty for your’s truly tonight.

-Taped from the Impact Zone in Orlando, FL

-Hosted by Mike Tenay & Taz

-Desmond Wolfe opens the show inside the six sides of steel, and he says he needs to set the record straight. He says a lot of people are saying Angle beat him at Turning Point, but he says he tapped out to an illegal submission maneuver. He says he’s no dummy, but he wasn’t beaten. He says beating someone is punishing them mentally and physically. Owning them so they know they are nothing compared to you. He says he has done that to “Mr. Mangled” week after week. He says he did that last week when he spit in his face, and caused him to lose his cool and not get a shot at the TNA World Title. He says he’s gotten his jollies, and now it’s to end him. He says that’s why he’s inside the cage. At Final Resolution we will have “three degrees of pain.” He says the first fall is pinfall. The second is submission. The final fall if needed is escape the cage. He says he won’t need them though, as he will pin him with the Tower of London, and make him submit to the London Dungeon. Then he will humiliate him by beating him three times and leaving the cage. He offers Angle the opportunity to come out and take a closer look. Angle says if there is one thing he’s learned from Wolfe it’s to always be prepared, and that’s why he’s in his gear. What he doesn’t understand is why he doesn’t come to the ring and kick his ass right now, and then decides he will. The problem he encounters is that Wolfe has locked himself inside the cage. Angle decides to scale the cage to get inside, and delivers a series or right hands. Problem Angle has is while he was climbing in Wolfe was able to slide brass knucks on and he knocks Angle out with them. He then fires Angle face first into the cage, and leaves the cage after telling Angle that he took his advice and is always prepared.

-JB is in a distraught Mick Foley’s office who is complaining about Hogan, but Angle barges in demanding a match with Wolfe tonight. Foley agrees to book the match as long as Angle tells him about the Dixie Carter-Hulk Hogan agreement. Angle tells him he’s got a match in two weeks, and he’s worried about someone who isn’t here yet. He says the problem isn’t Hogan, but its Foley’s obsession with him.

Doug Williams (w. Brutus Magnus & Big Rob) vs. Alex Shelley (w. Chris Sabin)
Slick Johnson immediately ejects the Brits and Sabin to the back before the bell so there are no shenanigans, but Sabin gets sucker punched by the Brits as he leaves. Match begins with Shelley delivering a kick to the back of the head of Williams, and connecting with a suicide dive on the floor. Shelley goes to the top rope hitting a crossbody for two, and fires away with a big time chop. Williams comes back with a Gory Special backing Shelley into the corner, and then a double axehandle connects to the lower back. Williams goes for a bow and arrow, but Shelley counters out into a two count. Williams comes back with a backbreaker, and holds Shelley across the knee in an attempt to pick up a submission. Shelley knees his way free of that, but Williams remains in control with a kick to the hamstring. Williams misses a corner charge allowing Shelley to mount a comeback with a series of stiff kicks. Shelley hits a round kick to the side of the head for two, and goes for sliced bread. Williams pushes him off into the corner, and hits a backdrop suplex. Back elbow off the top rope connects for Williams, and this time a charging knee in the corner connects. Williams goes for the chaos theory, but Shelly counters and delivers a superkick. Sliced bread connects for Shelley to pick up the win at 4:18. I’ve quit complaining about the length of Impact Matches, and have learned to accept them for what they are. Despite the clash of styles this was pretty entertaining, and action packed for just being four minutes and change.
Winner: Alex Shelley (Pinfall-Sliced Bread **1/4)

-DeAngelo Dinero runs into Suicide in the back, and he has a proposition for Suicide. He wants him to join him, Hernandez, and Morgan in the eight man elimination match at Final Resolution against Jesse Neal, Rhino, and Team 3D. Suicide says he may have earned the trust of Hernandez and Morgan, but he’ll have to do more to convince him to join. Dinero talks about their battles, and the respect that Suicide earned. He then gives him an autographed piece of the table that Suicide put him through.

-D’Lo Brown stops by Mick Foley’s office, as Mick wants some information on Hulk Hogan. Brown says Hogan always treated him with respect, and he says word on the street is that Dixie brought Hogan in to help TNA. Foley wants to hear none of it, and even gets in a European Title blast.

Homicide vs. Suicide
Suicide takes Homicide down after a go behind, and grabs a side headlock. He climbs the ropes, and takes Homicide over with it gaining a two count. Suicide hits a shoulderblock, and goes back to the headlock. A second attempt to scale the ropes for a takeover is countered by Homicide who shoves him away. Homicide whips Suicide sternum first into the corner, and mounts Suicide with a series of rights and a choke. Homicide connects with a short clothesline, and locks in a trapezes pinch. Suicide punches free of that, but Homicide comes back with a Michinoku Driver. Suicide ducks a clothesline and hits a leg lariat followed by a dropkick. Homicide comes back with a Diamond Cutter for two, and delivers a European Upper Cut. Suicide rolls through a rollup and hits a dropkick for two. Suicide calls for the Suicide Solution, but it is countered into a Gringo Cutter attempt which is also countered. They trade a series of counters before Suicide finally gets a backslide for the pin at 4:35. Homicide attacks after the match, and attempts to unmask Suicide, but Dinero runs out to make the save. Dinero offers a handshake, but Suicide is still leery.
Winner: Suicide (Pinfall-Backslide **1/2)

-The Beautiful People are on their way to the set of Meanest Girls Part III, but they are stopped by Daniels who has an idea for the next plot.

-Trash Talk with ODB is next, and her guest is Tara. ODB tells her to cut out the fake sportsmanship, and then immediately goes to the WWE smack. Tara says she had two years left at WWE, and she has so much respect for ODB and the TNA Knockouts. She says she was humiliated at WWE, and blah, blah, blah…you know they story. They all do it. Anyway after that is over ODB basically says she doesn’t believe her, and she’s nothing but a diva. ODB then attacks her and the redneck security crew has to pull her off. Awful segment.

Jesse Neal vs. “The Pope” DeAngelo Dinero
They exchange go behinds at the outset, and Dinero ends up on the apron. Neal shoulders him off to the floor, and then throws Dinero back inside for a two count. Dinero fights back out of the corner, but gets caught in the corner with an avalanche from Neal. Jesse hits a back elbow, and then chokes out Dinero on the second rope. Neal hits a sloppy looking shoulderbreaker for two, but misses a charge in the corner. Dinero pulls down the knee pads, and the DDE finishes abruptly at 2:54. After the match Neal attacks from behind with a forearm, and connects with a spear. The lights then go out, and when they come back on Suicide is perched on the top rope. He delivers a top rope dropkick to Neal sending him to the floor, and finally extends his hand to Dinero to accept his offer. Rhino and Team 3D come out to surround them, but Hernandez and Morgan are out to chase them off. I’m not sold on Neal at all.
Winner: “The Pope” DeAngelo Dinero (Pinfall-DDE *)

Eric Young & Kevin Nash vs. Beer Money, Inc.
Young starts off with Storm and delivers a clothesline out of the corner before tagging in Roode. Elbow drop from Storm is followed by a kneedrop from Roode for a two count. Roode connects with a spinebuster for two, but Young rakes the eyes and tags in Nash. Storm comes in illegally and gets a double leg takedown on Nash, but as the ref puts him out that allows Young to attack Roode from behind to gain control of the match. Nash delivers a straight right hand to Roode, and follows with a series of knee lifts in the corner. Nash hits a back elbow in the corner, and tags Young back inside who hits an elbow drop for two. Roode delivers a pair of chops, and rolls up Young for two, but Young is right back with a clothesline. Nash tags back in and he delivers snake eyes to Roode. Roode comes firing back out of the corner, and then he dodges a corner clothesline. Young tags in and stops Roode from making the hot tag, but that is only temporary as Roode kicks him off and tags in Storm. Storm hits a backdrop to Young, and a forearm to Nash putting him down. Backcracker connects by Storm for two as Nash breaks up the count, but Roode is in with a second rope neckbreaker as they take their fight to the floor. Storm connects with the Eye of the Storm, but that only gets a two count. Meanwhile on the floor Nash posts Roode, and then grabs the leg of Storm as he sets up for the Superkick. The ref is distracted allowing Young to deliver a low blow, and then finish the match with a piledriver at 5:52. If there is a better tag team than Roode and Storm right now I’d love to see it. Great match.
Winners: Eric Young & Kevin Nash (Young pins Storm-Piledriver ***)

-Mick Foley is out immediately, and he says he needs to talk to Nash about Hogan. He says Nash knows why Hogan is coming, and who Hogan is bringing with him. He says he could flaunt his authority, and threaten Nash’s job but instead he’s going to appeal to him as a guy who’s he’s worked with for 18 years. He asks Nash to let him know exactly why Hogan is coming. Nash says instead of buying TNA stock he should have gotten a haircut and a suit, because in a few weeks he’s going to be looking for a job. Nash tells Foley to just call Hulk, and Foley says he will and asks for the number. Nash responds that he has the number, but Hogan told him not to give it to him. Nash says when the boss gets here, and he’s talking about the guy with the red bandana and the 24 inch pythons he’s not going to like idle threats, and he’s not going to like bullies. He tells Foley he has some old band mates that are having some practice, and they’re thinking of putting the band back together.

-Lashley and Kristal are out for a promo. Lashley says he has nothing to say to Steiner. He will do all his talking at Final Resolution. Kristal says she’ll do the talking (thank god). She calls Steiner sick, delusional, and obsessed. She says all she wanted to do was watch the show, and support her husband. Not be a part of it. She says she’s never been harassed by anyone at Bobby’s MMA fights, but they do things differently around here. She says Bobby will have to do something about it. When she barks Bobby bites, and at Final Resolution the big man is going to eat Steiner for lunch. So Lashley’s gimmick is that he’s whipped. Wonderful.

-Lauren is with Daniels who says change is in the air. He says he asked for something, and he didn’t get punished or sent home. He got what he wanted. He said to celebrate he’s going to dedicate his match tonight with Abyss to AJ, because it is a preview of what he is going to do to him at Final Resolution. Lauren says Daniels should be getting ready for his match with Abyss, and Daniels sarcastically thinks it’s sweet that she’s sticking up for him like he always does for her.

Daniels vs. Abyss
Styles joins the commentary team, and has a message for Sting. He hasn’t heard from him the past couple months, and he won’t return phone calls. He asks him to give him a call and let him know everything is okay. How sweet. Daniels mocks Abyss, and then hides behind the official to try to get in his head. Daniels goes for a single leg takedown which miserably fails. Daniels tries a chicken wing, but gets slammed away and then bails to the floor. Abyss chases him back inside, and then delivers a big boot. Abyss slams Daniels to the mat, and hits an avalanche in the corner. Abyss goes for a chokeslam, but he turns his attention to the TNAtron where we see the Beautiful People picking on Lauren. That distraction allows Daniels to hit a low blow, and roll up Abyss for the three count at 2:59. After the match Daniels calls AJ down to the ring, but it’s all a set up as a masked man attacks AJ from behind. There was a lot going on here, and none of it was any good.
Winner: Daniels (Pinfall-Rollup DUD)

-Mike Tenay talks to Dixie Carter. Dixie says it’s her responsibility to keep everyone motivated, and she wanted to make sure everyone was on the same page. She says she initially didn’t want it to air on Impact, but she felt it would hold everyone accountable. She says as a fan she can’t imagine TNA without him, but he called her out on signing Hogan so she’s giving her space for now. Regarding Jarrett she says he was place on leave for a personal situation that was affecting the company she wants to leave it at that. She says she heard Hogan talking about TNA on the radio, so she decided to give him a call. She says Hogan came to her house and talked for hours, and it really felt right. She said it was an easy negotiation. She says having Hogan brings greater awareness, and he is one of the most recognizable people on the planet. She calls Hogan one of the greatest wrestling minds ever, and feels his contributions will be tremendous. She says Hogan will work with her closely on a variety of things, and she is excited about what he brings to the table. She says she looked in the faces of the talent at the famous meeting, and she knew they were united in their goal to make TNA the biggest company in the world. She says they’re not trying to recreate history, but trying to make new history and in the coming days we’ll see how serious they are about taking things to another level.

-Desmond Wolfe stops by to talk to Mick Foley, and he says he took it upon himself to attack Kurt Angle. He says without Mick he wouldn’t have gotten his foot in the door, but he wants to talk to Mick about the way things work. He says Angle just had to come in and ask for a match, and it was granted. He asks if he could just come in and ask for a spelling bee with Scott Steiner (YES PLEASE). Foley says that might do good ratings, but not to worry as Angle won’t be wrestling him tonight. He’s got other plans for Kurt. He tells him not to worry because he’s still got the stroke. That sets off a lightbulb for Mick who makes a phone call to “The Stroke.” Jarrett answers the phone and he tells him he’s done with him and done with TNA. He tells Mick to take his comedy and shove it up his ass.

Hamada vs. Sarita
Hamada takes Saritia over with a hip toss, and they trade a variety of arm drags before both take each other out with a dropkick. Hamada hits a headbutt and a chop, but runs into a knee lift off the ropes. Sarita hits the ropes and delivers a hurracanrana, but she turns into a superkick from Hamada for two. Hamada goes to the top rope, and delivers a missile dropkick for two. Hamada Driver attempt is countered into a rollup by Sarita for two, and she follows that up with a float over DDT for two. Sarita takes Hamada over with a back heel trip, and turns it into a submission hold which Hamada quickly counters out of. Hamada hits a spinkick to the head, and delivers a Hamada Driver to finish at 3:17. Pretty good wrestling match, but it’s hard to take Hamada seriously when she looks like a housewife.
Winner: Hamada (Pinfall-Hamada Driver **1/4)

-JB talks to AJ Styles who promises revenge for his masked assailant.

-Kurt Angle comes out for what he thinks is a match with Desmond Wolfe, but Mick Foley comes out instead. Foley says it’s been a tough couple of weeks for him. He says something Foley said really stuck in his craw. You can say Foley is anything, but you can’t say he’s jealous. He says he was only giving him Wolfe if he told him all he knew about Hogan. Since he didn’t do it he’s going to tweak the match. Instead its now a handicap match against Dr. Stevie and Raven.

Handicap Match: Kurt Angle vs. Dr. Stevie & Raven (w. Daffney)
Angle tries to fight both men off, but the numbers game eventually overwhelms him. This is two on one at all times with no tagging. Standard two on one heel beatdown commences with Raven and Steve overpowering Angle with punches kicks and chokes. To the floor they go where a double Side Russian Legsweep sends Angle into the barricade for two. During the beatdown we hear from Tenay that Foley is going to Nashville with the cameras to find Jeff Jarrett next week. Meanwhile back inside Angle turns the tide with a double clothesline, and begins to fight back. German Suplex connects to both men, and a clothesline from Angle sends Stevie over the top to the floor. Stevie feigns injury, and starts to leave, but Abyss meets him at the top of the stage with a black hole slam. Raven who regained control with a clothesline watches this unfold, and the distraction allows Angle to pick the leg from behind with the anklelock for the immediate tap out at 3:17. After the match Desmond Wolfe again stays one step ahead attacking Kurt from behind with an inside keylock driver and he stands tall as we’re out for the evening.
Winner: Kurt Angle (Submission on Raven-Ankle Lock *1/2)