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411’s TNA Impact Wrestling Report 6.27.13

June 27, 2013 | Posted by Jonathan Sullivan

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*****

“PREVIOUSLY ON IMPACT WRESTLING” OPEN: The Bound For Glory Series kicks off, Hulk Hogan sends Brooke Hogan home, Sting reveals Kurt Angle as the first member of the new Main Event Mafia.

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We cut to the Peoria Civic Center and pan the crowd as Mike Tenay welcomes the home audience and hypes up tonight’s show. The music of The Main Event Mafia hits, bringing out Sting in all his suit and tie glory. Sting grabs a mic and tells Bully Ray what he experienced last week was just a touch of what’s to come. Sting introduces the first member of the Mafia, Kurt Angle, out to the ring next to the Mafia theme. Angle says the concept behind the Main Event Mafia in the beginning was every member had to be a former World Champion and they did whatever they wanted whenever they wanted to. Angle turns his attention to The Aces & Eights and says that because of them Sting will never wrestle for the World Title ever again and because of them he was screwed out of the BFG Series. Angle says family comes and goes, but real family sticks together. Angle says he and Sting are both Hall of Famers but that doesn’t matter until they accomplish two goals: 1) destroy The Aces & Eights and 2) cause Bully Ray to lose the World Title. Angle says they’re going to fight fire with fire and tonight everyone will meet the newest member of the “Family”. The Mafia music kicks back up as Sting and Angle hug and Taz freaks out on commentary.

  • THOUGHTS: An okay open to create some intrigue for later in the show but I’m still not sold on the new Main Event Mafia so I’m admittedly apathetic. Maybe they’ll surprise me with something and I can get behind this stable reboot.

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Sting and Angle exit as we cut to the announce table where Tenay and Taz talk about what just happened. Tenay then hypes the upcoming Knockouts Title match and the BFG Series match between Samoa Joe and The Aces & Eights’ Mr. Anderson. Tenay announces that the X-Division Title match is up next.

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RECAP VIDEO: Chris Sabin defeats Kenny King and Suicide in an Ultimate X Match to become the new X-Division Champion (Slammiversary XI).

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Chris Sabin is shown walking backstage when D.O.C. grabs him from behind. He and Mr. Anderson hold him against a wall as Bully Ray appears. Ray wishes him luck in his match tonight and tells him he hopes he does the right thing: not cash in the belt for a World Title shot. Ray tells Sabin he’s a “great X-Division wrestler” but he’s the World Heavyweight Champion and a bad person. Ray tells Sabin he doesn’t want any part of this bad person. D.O.C. and Anderson let him go and Sabin backs away as Ray wishes him good luck.

  • THOUGHTS: Cool little segment. Looks like they’re building towards Ray/Sabin for the July 18th show and all I have to say to that is yes please.

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-Commercial Break-

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TNA GUT CHECK HYPE VIDEO: Adam Ohriner is a 27 year old New York native. He talks about getting to where he is in just two years and how he finished in the top 5 in the Gut Check voting. He calls himself “The Big O”, so those of you who watched Zack Ryder’s YouTube show already know who this is.

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Suicide makes his way out for the opening match, a triple threat for the X-Division Title. He’s looking a bit bulkier. Kenny King makes his way out second, followed by the X-Division Champ Chris Sabin who’s out third. Tenay says whoever leaves with the belt tonight gets to hand it in for the World Title on July 18th.

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Match #1: Chris Sabin (c) Vs. Kenny King Vs. Suicide for the TNA X-Division Title

King takes it to both men immediately. Suicide reverses a corner Irish whip but eats an elbow then Sabin eats a boot when he attempts a splash. King goes airborne but gets caught with a double dropkick by his opponents. Sabin grabs a waistlock on Suicide, who reverses into a side headlock. Sabin sends Suicide to the apron and King hits the double knees to Sabin’s back. Suicide gets knocked to the floor and King covers Sabin for a 2-count. Sabin reverses an Irish whip but gets caught with an atomic drop followed by an enziguri. Suicide scales to the top and takes King out with a front-facing missile dropkick. Suicide whips King into the ropes, who hangs in between the ropes to mock him. Suicide responds by sending him out to the floor with a suicide dive then hitting a senton off the apron. Sabin kicks Suicide then hits a slingshot crossbody on both men. Sabin rolls King back in as we go to commercial.

-Commercial Break-

Sabin crotches King on the top turnbuckle as we come back from break. Suicide rushes in but Sabin takes him down with a drop toehold. He gets both men in place and hits a double running dropkick, King in the tree of woe and Suicide seated behind. Sabin goes for the cover but only gets 2. Sabin picks King up for the finish but Suicide pulls him off and sends him face-first into the middle turnbuckle. Suicide covers Sabin for 2 then heads to the top. King crotches him by shaking the top rope. King heads to the middle rope for a superplex but Sabin knocks him off and goes to the middle rope himself. King attacks from behind and they commence with the Tower of Doom. King covers Sabin for 2, then tries again with the same result.

King picks Sabin up for the Royal Flush but Sabin escapes and sends Suicide out with a baseball slide. King blocks the roll-up but eats an enziguri. Sabin picks King up and hits the HAIL SABIN for the 1…2…Suicide breaks it up. Suicide throws Sabin out of the ring then grabs King in a double chicken wing. King elbows out and hits the spinning kick. King connects with a right to the skull and backs Suicide into the corner. King chokes Suicide until the ref forces him off. King whips Suicide into the corner. Suicide floats over him during a corner splash attempt and rolls up King for the 1…2…kickout. King fights back with a jawbreaker followed by a kick to the head. King gets Suicide up for the Royal Flush but Suicide slips out and rolls him up, holding the top rope, for the 1…2…3!

Winner and NEW X-Division Champion [via Pinfall]: Suicide (10:11)

  • MATCH THOUGHTS: A really fun and entertaining match to open the show but the finish seemed lost on the crowd. Interesting way to end it and I love the way Sabin sold the loss; man looked like he was going to bawl.

POST-MATCH: After a replay of the finish, out comes Hulk Hogan who’s with a limping T.J. Perkins. Hogan introduces him and puts him over, then outs him as the real Suicide. Hogan says someone jumped him in the back and stole his suit. Hogan says it makes him pissed to see someone cheat to get their way to the top and demands to see who’s under the mask. “Suicide” takes the X-Division Title and escapes through the crowd with the X-Division Title.

  • THOUGHTS: First off, yay for TJ Perkins getting some legit face-time on TNA TV! Second off, this is definitely an interesting route to take but it begs the question: why can’t Hogan just reverse the decision? I know a ref’s decision is technically final but he runs the whole place so he in theory has the power to do it. But he won’t. I’m interested to see who this fake Suicide is though; 5 points on Hunico!

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-Commercial Break-

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“MOMENTS AGO” VIDEO: Suicide wins the X-Division Title but it wasn’t the real Suicide.

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Hulk Hogan is backstage. He says he’s giving the fake Suicide until the end of the night to reveal who he is.

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TNA GUT CHECK PROFILE: Ryan Howe is a wrestler and a musician (27 instruments…respect). Howe says tonight is the most important match he’s had to date.

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Jeremy Borash introduces Ryan Howe and Adam Ohriner to the ring for their Gut Check match. Howe comes out first, playing guitar like a skinnier Maxx Payne/Man Mountain Rock. Taz jokingly calls him “Van Hammer”. Ohriner is out second, but he’s all business.

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Match #2: Ryan Howe Vs. Adam Ohriner in a Gut Check Challenge Match

Ohriner immediately backs Howe into the corner, then flings him to the mat, using his size to his advantage. Howe goes for a roll-up but Ohriner rolls out and takes him down with a waistlock. Ohriner whips Howe hard into the corner, sending him immediately falling face-first to the mat. Ohriner picks Howe up and drops him with a power slam for 2. Howe fights back and hits a second-rope crossbody for 2, then continues the comeback. Ohriner pushes Howe into the ropes and takes his head off with a clothesline for 2. Howe moves out of the way of a corner splash and hits a corkscrew elbow followed by a dropkick and a leg lariat for 2. Howe hits the ropes but Ohriner catches him with a powerslam for the 1…2…3.

Winner [via Pinfall]: Adam “Big O” Ohriner (2:47)

  • MATCH THOUGHTS: That match was…not good. They didn’t even seem to be connecting with their moves half the time and Ohriner’s flurry of forearms looked insanely weak, especially for a big man. Neither of these men deserve the shot if we’re going on this match alone although Howe has the Van Hammer/Maxx Payne thing going and he can at least take some punishment in a believable way so there’s that?

—–

We go backstage where Sting and Kurt Angle are walking with purpose. Sting promises they’ll be better this go around then walk into the dressing room to recruit their new member.

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-Commercial Break-

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We see a shot of the BFG Series standings (Magnus is in the lead), then Tenay hypes the two matches (Joe/Anderson and Magnus/Roode) still to come later tonight.

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Bully Ray confronts TJ Perkins in the locker room. Ray calls him a hell of a wrestler and that he has a bright future. Ray asks Perkins if Sting and Angle put him up to this tonight and Perkins says he doesn’t even know what happened. Ray asks him if he’s positive that Sting and Angle didn’t put them up to this. Perkins says that all he can tell Ray is that he got jumped and his opportunity was taken from him. Perkins stands up and says he has no idea who did it. He goes to walk away but Ray grabs his arm. Ray tells him “Now you can leave!” and he does as Ray looks on, nervous about potential Main Event Mafia head games.

  • THOUGHTS: TJ Perkins got to speak too? Awesome. Cool exchange and I like that Bully Ray is getting paranoid. I wouldn’t be surprised if Perkins got laid out later though anyway.

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STORYLINE RECAP: Velvet Sky injures her knee, Mickie James takes advantage and wins the Knockouts Title, then refuses to grant her a rematch until Brooke Hogan intervenes.

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Velvet Sky makes her way out for the next match, a Knockouts Title contest. Sky lets the pigeons loose as we go to commercial.

  • THOUGHTS: This match can’t be any worse than their first one, right? RIGHT?Okay I’m nervous.

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-Commercial Break-

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“Hardcore Country” brings out TNA Knockouts Champion Mickie James as we come back from commercial. She’s got pigtails, a lollipop, and pretty much looks like Daisy Duke. James grabs a mic and says the fact they aren’t best friends anymore breaks her heart. James says it doesn’t mean she doesn’t still care about her health and gives Sky one last chance to walk out and avoid further injury.

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Match #3: Mickie James (c) Vs. Velvet Sky for the TNA Knockouts Title

Instead of walking away Sky spears James to start the match and smashes the back of her head against the mat repeatedly until ODB forces the break. Sky sends James face-first into the corner and works her over with shoulderblocks to the midsection. ODB forces Sky off once again and James uses it to her advantage, cracking her in the jaw and stomping her down in the corner. James drops Sky with a side legsweep for 2. James rolls out of the ring to compose herself for a minute then sweeps the legs. James rams Sky’s knee into the side of the apron then rolls in for a couple of back to back covers, both resulting in a 2 each time.

James brings Sky back down with a snapmare and connects with a dropkick to the mush for 2. James applies a leglock to weaken the knee even more but Sky kicks her off. Sky then rolls James up with a small package for 2. James immediately regains the advantage and works Sky in the corner with midsection shoulderblocks of her own. James slaps Sky in the face again then runs into a boot during a corner splash. Sky tries for a kick but James catches the leg and applies a leglock in the corner. Sky pushes her off and connects with a couple of clotheslines followed by an elbow. James reverses a corner Irish whip but gets caught with a kick followed by a faceplant for the 1…2…kickout. Sky chops James and connects with a series of forearms. James exits the ring and bails to the announce table, asking for water.

Sky runs over and hits a multiple revolution head scissors followed by a spear. Sky goes into the full mount and connects with a series of right hands. Sky rolls James back in but gets caught with a kick on her way back in. James drops her with a sort-of DDT for the 1…2…kickout. James goes for the MickieDT but James fights her off and hits a running neckbreaker for the 1…2…kickout. James pushes Sky into the corner and goes for a head scissors but she lands on her feet (?) so James kicks the knee out. James locks on a Deathlock while also applying a chinlock. After a brief struggle Sky taps out.

Winner and STILL Knockouts Champions [via Submission]: Mickie James (6:37)

  • MATCH THOUGHTS: Leaps and bounds better than their first match, but they still exhibited zero chemistry with one another and it led to some awkward and clumsy moments. Love James’ submission finisher though. She’s now tied with Magnus for the #1 in the BFG Series, right? I may be mixing things up.

POST-MATCH: Christy Hemme interviews Velvet Sky on the entrance ramp. She asks Sky what’s going through her mind. After a little crying she tries to speak but she’s too heartbroken so she waves Hemme away.

  • THOUGHTS: Men should stop writing female-centered storylines. Seriously. Also Velvet Sky’s acting here was pretty awful.

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“EARLIER TONIGHT” RECAP: Fake Suicide wins the X-Division Title, Hogan demands to know who the imposter is by the end of the night, Kurt Angle says the newest member of The Main Event Mafia will be revealed.

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We catch up with Sting and Kurt Angle backstage. Bobby Roode walks by, stops to smirk, then keeps on going. He’s in action next.

  • THOUGHTS: Now Bobby Roode is someone I’d be down with seeing in The Main Event Mafia but he’d make everyone else look like a scrub. That guy knows how to wear a suit.

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-Commercial Break-

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Hulk Hogan is talking with the referee from the X-Division Title match. Hogan asks him if he noticed anything different about Suicide tonight in the way that he wrestled. The ref knows nothing so Hogan tells him to comb the halls looking for information.

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Magnus makes his way out for the next match. His opponent, Bobby Roode makes his way out second.

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Match #4: Magnus Vs. Bobby Roode in a BFG Series Match

Magnus and Roode lock up, both men jockeying for position. Magnus backs Roode into the corner and breaks clean backing up all the way to the opposite corner. Both men circle each other once again and Roode grabs a wristlock out of a collar and elbow tie-up. Magnus reverses into one of his own, but Roode slides behind and takes him down. Magnus quickly rebounds and reverses into a hammerlock. Roode gets to his feet and applies a side headlock, wrenching down. Magnus whips Roode into the ropes and Roode takes him down with a shoulderblock. Roode hits the ropes and Magnus hits a high knee, covering for 2. Roode rolls out of the ring to compose himself as Magnus looks on.

Roode pulls Magnus out to the floor but Magnus catches him with a series of rights and slams him head-first into the side of the apron. Magnus rolls Roode back in but gets caught with a series of boots when he re-enters. Roode stomps Magnus down in the corner and connects with a loud chop across his chest. Roode grabs the legs and catapults Magnus throat-first into the middle rope. Roode rolls to the outside and slams Magnus sternum-first into the apron, then connects with an elbow smash across the sternum. Roode rolls back in and connects with a reverse neckbreaker for the 1…2…kickout. Roode immediately transitions into a side chinlock.

Magnus feeds off the crowd and gets to his feet. Magnus escapes the chinlock and the two get into a striking war. Roode wins the shootout but gets caught with a backdrop suplex. Magnus hits three running clotheslines. Roode catches Magnus with a pair of boots during a corner splash attempt but Magnus catches Roode in mid-air during a high-flying attempt and takes him out with a suplex. Magnus heads to the top and Roode crotches him with a right to the skull. Roode sets up for a second-rope superplex but Magnus fights him off and pushes him off. Magnus follows up with the top-rope elbowdrop for the 1…2…kickout!

Magnus prevents a corner splash with an elbow but Roode immediately plants him with a spinebuster. Roode measures Magnus as he gets up and goes for the fisherman’s suplex but Magnus blocks it and hits the Magnus Driver for the 1…2…3.

Winner [via Pinfall]: Magnus (6:40); Magnus earns 7 points for the pinfall victory (Total = 17 points)

  • MATCH THOUGHTS: Magnus is coming out guns blazing in the first two weeks of the BFG Series and I love it. This was a really good match and probably my favorite of the night thus far. Love watching these guys work, Roode especially. Also I like how they’re still teasing Roode’s potential involvement/issue with the Main Event Mafia.

—–

The Tag Team Champs James Storm & Gunner are headed to the ring. We hear from them next.

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-Commercial Break-

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Bully Ray, Mr. Anderson, and D.O.C. barge into the dressing room where Chavo Guerrero Jr., Robbie E, and Jessie Godderz are hanging out. He asks them if any of them are Suicide (Jessie Godderz, really?) then says if any of them are they are committing career suicide. Ray tells Godderz to lay off the carbs and the trio leave.

  • THOUGHTS: Why is Chavo hanging with the heels? IS WRESTLING FAKE?!?

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James Storm and Gunner are already in the ring when we cut back to the arena. Storm says he’s a chemist or something because beer and woman. I may have not been paying attention to that part. Storm says one thing he’s learned as a 12-time tag team champion is that you don’t have to like your partner they just have to be reliable. Storm says that’s why he chose Gunner and that’s why they’re Tag Team Champions. Storm is interrupted by the team of Robbie E, Tara, and Jessie Godderz. Robbie E tells the Tag Team Champs that they’re looking at the two toughest guys in the locker room (Godderz poses in agreement). Robbie E tells Storm that choosing Gunner over him to be his tag team partner was a big mistake, bro. Robbie E says this train has sailed down the road (HA!), then says it again. Robbie E then says standing in front of Storm and Gunner are the future of tag team wrestling. They call themselves the something or another. Storm says he heard “Bromance” then essentially accuses them of being gay (guys can’t be friends without banging each other apparently). Robbie E corrects him and says they are “The Bro-MANS”. Storm asks if Robbie E said Bromance again. Godderz then corrects him again and Storm goes on to insult Tara, calling her a “butterface”. Gunner randomly punches Godderz in the face, and the Bro-MANS leave as Storm finishes with his catchphrase.

  • THOUGHTS: Well that was unbelievably wretched and obsessively terrible. The “BroMANS” thing wasn’t funny nor was Storm being like “U GUYZ ARE GAY AND UR GIRLFRIEND IS UGLY LOL”. Horrible stuff. I weep for the Tag Team division and for having my time wasted like that.

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Sting and Kurt Angle are backstage and the cameraman asks them about Suicide. Sting calls it an interesting night and Angle says they should go talk to the mystery man himself.

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-Commercial Break-

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Mr. Anderson makes his way out for the main event of the wrestling portion. His opponent, Samoa Joe, makes his way out second.

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Main Event: Samoa Joe Vs. Mr. Anderson in a BFG Series Match

Joe backs Anderson into the corner and breaks clean when the ref gets in between them. They lock up and this time Anderson backs Joe into the corner. Anderson doesn’t break clean and connects with a knee to the gut followed by a right hand. Joe fights back with chops and jabs. Joe strikes Anderson repeatedly and quickly, bringing him down to the mat. Joe whips Anderson into the opposite corner and splashes him followed by the enziguri for the 1. Anderson fights back and sends Joe into the middle turnbuckle via a drop toehold. Anderson throws Joe out to the floor and follows suit. Anderson kicks Joe full force in the ribs and drives him back-first into the side of the apron.

Anderson rolls Joe back in and covers for 2. Anderson applies an armbar to wear Joe down. Joe gets to his feet and fights out with a series of forearms but Anderson responds with a neckbreaker for 2. Anderson comes off the second rope right into an inverted atomic drop. Joe follows up with a kick to the skull followed by a back splash for 2. D.O.C. and Knux come out to distract Joe, and Anderson takes advantage with a DDT for the 1…2…kickout. Anderson hits the ropes but runs into a running slam and both men are down. Sting and Kurt Angle make their way out to take care of D.O.C. and Knux. Back in the ring Joe counters a move from Anderson and locks on the REAR-NAKED CHOKE. Anderson taps, giving Joe ten points.

Winner [via Submission]: Samoa Joe (5:27); Joe gets 10 points in the BFG Series (Total = 12 points)

  • MATCH THOUGHTS: Glad to see Samoa Joe pick up the victory but the match was inconsequential to the other stuff that went on at the end. As it was designed, I assume. Underwhelming end to the wrestling portion of the show.

POST-MATCH: Sting and Kurt Angle embrace Samoa Joe in the ring and Joe’s music turns into the Main Event Mafia’s theme. He’s the new member.

  • THOUGHTS: Samoa Joe also didn’t have Sting’s back at Slammiversary XI. Just putting that out there. I know it’s annoying that I keep harping on it but that’s the entire reason this group is coming back so it doesn’t make sense that Angle and Joe are the first two in. I hope the next few are genuine out of the box choices.

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Hulk Hogan is headed to the ring. The identity of faux-Suicide is revealed next.

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-Commercial Break-

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Samoa Joe catches up with Sting and Kurt Angle backstage. Sting hands him a suit jacket welcoming him to the Main Event Mafia.

—–

Who is (Fake) Suicide?

GM Hulk Hogan poses his way out to the ring for the final segment of the night. Hogan says tonight was supposed to be about who was going to cash in the X-Division Title on July 18th but instead there’s a mystery needing to be solved. Hogan calls out Fake-Suicide and says if he doesn’t show up he’ll take the title away from him (ummm). Fake Suicide makes his way out, X-Division Title around his waist. Hogan says this whole thing is not about cheating and asks Fake Suicide who he really is. Fake Suicide stands there, arms crossed, and shakes his head “no”. Hogan asks if that’s his final answer.

Before this can continue, The Aces & Eights theme hits bringing out Bully Ray to the ring. Ray says for the first time in a long time he and Hogan are on the same page. Ray tells Fake Suicide to take his mask off “right now”. Fake Suicide shakes his head. Ray tells him it doesn’t matter about the mask, what matters is what he does with his potential shot at the World Title. Ray says the only reason Fake Suicide won tonight was because he put the fear of Bully Ray in Chris Sabin before the match. Ray tells Fake Suicide to do himself a favor and walk away. Hogan says he’s tired of all this crap and tells Fake Suicide to take the hood off right now. Fake Suicide puts the mic to his mouth and, with the assistance of a voice modulator, says he felt the darkness of pain. He says in life they are given options: do the easy thing or do the right thing. Fake Suicide asks Ray if he knows who he is. Fake Suicide says he’s the man who has beaten Ray once before and takes his mask off revealing himself to be Austin Aries. Aries says he’s the one who originated Option C and he’s going to cash in the belt once again. Aries poses with the belt as we fade to logo.

  • THOUGHTS: Although this was a hokey way to end the show, I am 100% fine with Austin Aries getting another shot at the World Title. But this begs the question: does Austin Aries remain in the BFG Series anyway? Also while we’re asking questions why didn’t Hogan just strip him of the belt immediately after he found out that the real Suicide had attacked? He apparently had the power to do so and it would have saved himself a lot of time and stress. Still an Aries/Ray main event is one I’m looking forward to…if it ends up going down. You never know, Sabin could jump right back in all over again next week.

*****

RANDOM OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS: A very up and down Impact this week with more the latter than the former. The X-Division triple threat and Magnus/Roode were very good matches and I like Austin Aries reinserting himself into the World Title picture, but when this show got bad it got really bad. The Gut Check match was weak, neither man even looking worthy of being in the ring in the first place, and the Storm/Gunner/BroMANS segment was unacceptably wretched. The Main Event Mafia stuff also continues to suffer from the big logic hole of Sting recruiting two members that didn’t have his back at Slammiversary despite starting the group because no one had his back at Slammiversary but I’m going to just bite my tongue and hope that it improves in the near-future because I doubt they’ll listen to me and can the whole thing. What did you think of the show? Let me know in the comments and we can talk/argue it out.

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When not covering Impact (almost) every Thursday for 411, Jon can be found covering all aspects of pro wrestling on his own site Pro Wrestling Update as well as in 140 characters or less on Twitter.

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