411’s WWE Raw Report 01.03.05

BACKGROUND MATERIAL

Randle has the Wrestling News Experience. I think he also has Orton fever but just isn’t admitting it.

Nute breaks down Elimination Chamber strategy.

Napier has a year-end blowout.

And you can talk about the show in the live Raw thread.

Here we go…

411’s WWE Raw Report – 01.03.05

We start with a recap of last week’s excellent “Beat the Clock” show and the announcement that Shawn Michaels will referee the match Sunday.

Backstage, Eric Bischoff holds the vacant title belt and says that this Sunday, Raw will indeed crown its new World Champion. But tonight, we have business to take care of. Last week, everyone in the Elimination Chamber had an opportunity to beat the clock. This week, they have the opoprtunity to beat each other.

Tonight on the card:
– Batista vs Chris Benoit!
– Edge vs Chris Jericho!
– Triple H vs Randy Orton! (Noticeably, Orton gets a mixed reaction.)

Cut to the ring, and we get Batista‘s music, and boy howdy this sure looks like a good opener…

Match #1: DAVE Batista vs Chris Benoit

Batista nails Benoit with a lariat. Benoit gets back up. They lock up, and Batista gets a couple of shots in. Batista uses a whip, but Benoit baseball slides under and gets a double leg and goes for the Sharpshooter. Batista powers out and gets up. Benoit gets a hard chop and Batista almost no-sells, but three more chops certainly get the point across. Batista gets a shoulderbreaker anyway and tries to remove a turnbuckle, but Benoit comes from behind with three Germans. Already! Benoit unloads the snot rocket at the 1:30 mark and heads up, but Batista bails and heads outside. Benoit follows him and eats a kneelift and a headfirst toss into the security wall for his troubles. Batista puts Benoit back in and whips him hard into the corner, but Benoit blocks a charge and heads up. Batista crotches Benoit on the top turnbuckle. Batista picks up one leg and hits a fisherman’s suplex(!!!) from the top. That gets two. That was impressive. Batista follows it up with an elevated single-leg Boston crab with a knee to the head. Batista wants the submission and uses Benoit’s hand to tap out for him, but our referee doesn’t give him anything. Benoit gets a series of chops, but Batista gets a whip and the big spinebuster for two. Another cover gets two. Batista gets the upper hand in a slugfest shortly thereafter, but Benoit stops the rush with an enzuigiri and gets up first. Benoit struggles to get on his feet. He runs the ropes and hits a running dropkick to the head for two. Benoit gets a hard forearm, but Batista shrugs it off with a punch and tries the shoulderbreaker again. Benoit sneaks out the backdoor with a German! Benoit heads up with the diving headbutt and covers… for two. Benoit runs the ropes with a chop block and knocks Batista with two kicks. Benoit runs the ropes. Batista tries the spinebuster, but Benoit sees it coming and reverses to the Crossface! Batista almost powers out and the crowd is going nuts. Batista gets to one knee and counters to a fireman’s carry(!!) Batista carries Benoit over to the exposed turnbuckle and slams Benoit’s head into it repeatedly. Cool. Batista lines up Benoit and hits an ENORMOUS DAVEBOMB with a perfect sale from Benoit for the pin!

Winner: DAVE Batista via pinfall (7:06)

That was an absolutely brilliant exhibition of how to put a big man over as a total badass machine without hurting Benoit, and keeping both guys over as red-hot faces. Impressive stuff.

Later tonight, it’s Le Grand Dйbat between Muhammad Hassan, Khosrow Daivari, Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler.

Ad Break.

Backstage, Ric Flair is really, really excited about Batista’s performance backstage to Triple H. He powered out of the muthafuckin’ Crossface! HHH isn’t quite as enthusiastic, but when Flair tells him that the plan is now for Batista to beat HHH’s nemesis Benoit, and then for HHH to do the rest to get his belt back. Batista brings up their bet last week and wants HHH to give him $100 for their bet last week on who won in “Beat the Clock” faster. HHH asks Flair to give Batista the money, but Batista insists that HHH give it to him. HHH reaches into his bag to give it to him, and reaches out… and Batista stares at him. “Why don’t you get a sense of humor? Relax, man, I’m just kidding!” He slaps the arm and walks off.

Backstage, Maria gets to interview Gene Snitsky, as our announcers insinuate that it’s a really tough assignment. We get highlights of Taboo Tuesday and Snitsky’s beatdown of Kane. And as promised, it’s Gene Snitsky! Maria timidly asks him how he feels about his match against Kane this Sunday. “How do I feel? Quite frankly, Maria, I’m surprised. After what I did at Taboo Tuesday, I didn’t think Kane would ever be back. You like surprises, Maria? I sure do. I bet you’d be surprised to know…” whispers something to her and sniffs her hair. And she walks off. “Well, I guess she doesn’t like surprises. KANE, I hope you’re watching, because I got a surprise for you too. And it’s something you’re not gonna like. It’s something you brought upon yourself. So tonight, what happens, it’s NOT… MY… FAULT.” Gene Snitsky takes the inside track for Best Interview Man of 2005.

And also backstage, Edge complains to Eric Bischoff. Bisch thinks it’s about the Y2J match, but Edge’s concern is Shawn Michaels being the referee: Edge cost HBK the title, and now, that takes away his fair shot at the belt. Bischoff says that fair takes a backseat to revenue: when Edge speared HBK to cost him the belt at Taboo Tuesday, that cost Bisch six weeks of HBK and the revenue he brings; having HBK be the ref is all he can do. Bisch suggests that Edge take his frustration out on Chris Jericho, because their match… is… next.

Ad Break.

Match #2: Edge vs Chris Jericho

Your referee is “Vigilant” Mike Chioda. They lock up. Edge gets a go-behind and a waistlock. Jericho fights it and reverses. He gets a waistlock takedown and, after some struggling, gets a bow-and-arrow submission, but has to kick out with his shoulders down. Edge fights back with punches to the back, but Jericho reclaims the edge with a clothesline. Jericho gets a right and Edge bails to the corner, then comes back with one of his own. Edge gets a hard right and a whip, but punches air as Jericho stops himself on the ropes. Le bras d’honneur – “C’mon, assclown!” – Edge charges, and gets backdropped out. But Edge dodges a baseball slide and both men get hit with a double clothesline for a double-KO outside the ring. And you know what that means… (2:03)

Ad Break ends (5:19)

We’re back and Edge is working a modified armbar. Hey, is that Rings of Saturn? During the break, Edge hit a hard baseball slide to the ribs. Jericho fights out of it, so Edge puts him back down with an armbar takedown for two. Edge keeps the pressure to the left arm going with a keylock. Jericho fights up to his feet and gets a couple of rights and a chop. Jericho gets a whip and a running forearm. And a shoulderblock with the bad shoulder. He sells it. Jericho gets the bulldog but Edge dodges the Lionsault, so Jericho comes up with a running rana for two. Edge uses a whip but lowers his head, so Jericho kicks him and hits the running enzuigiri that leaves Edge in the 619 position. But Edge gets right back up and counters a charge from Jericho with a boot to the face for two! Edge goes for the Edgecution, blocked twice. Jericho reverses to a clothesline, but Edge ducks. Edge tries the Edgecution again, but Jericho reverses to a bridging Northern Lights suplex for two! Jericho tries the Walls, but Edge blocks it. Edge tries to run the ropes, but walks into the Flashback for two. Another cover attempt gets two. Jericho uses a hard kick to the ribs and heads up top, but Edge blocks him. They fight up top and Edge tries a superplex or possibly the Edgecution, but Jericho shoves him back down. Jericho tries the flying cross body, but Edge dodges, and Jericho lands on his bad arm. Edge lines up the Spear as Jericho slowly gets up… and the Spear misses! Jericho charges up with a victory roll, but Edge blocks it and holds the second rope for leverage with Jericho pinned. That gets the three!

Winner: Edge via pinfall (10:24)

Edge taunts Jericho from the top of the ramp and we get a replay of the finish. Another really good match. Give me a handful of solid 10-minute TV matches every week and I will be a happy recapper.

Tonight’s scientific Raw Interactive poll, accurate within 5% 19 times out of 20: Who’s winning HHH/Orton tonight?

Backstage, Jonathan Coachman interviews Randy Orton. The question is, will Randy Orton beat HHH? Orton says that tonight’s the first chance he gets at HHH since he lost the championship – the same championship that he will regain this Sunday at the Elimination Chamber. 2004 was the year in which HHH took everything Orton had away from him, so in 2005, he’s going to return the favor, taking everything HHH has away from him. Orton promises that he’s going to start tonight – intense stare – by beating HHH 1-2-3 with an R-K-O.

Ad Break.

JR thanks fans in the United Kingdom for watching the first live Raw over there.

Match #3: Sylvain Grenier (w/ Robert Conway) vs Shelton Benjamin

Shelton is on his way to the ring when Maven‘s music cuts him off, and Maven heads to the announce position to join JR and King. The distraction lets Grenier get a cheap shot and Conway get a flag shot, and Maven notes that Benjamin took his eye off his opponent. Maven’s been trying to challenge Benjamin for a while. Grenier gets some brawling offense in the corner. He hits a big vertical suplex and goes to the chinlock as Maven wishes JR a happy birthday (“How old are you now? I’m in my 20s, myself.”) and notes how great his New Year’s was. Grenier gets a big back suplex and a full nelson as Conway dutifully waves the Quйbйcois flag. Benjamin is stuck in the hold for a while, but Benjamin backs Grenier into the corner to break and initiates a slugfest. Benjamin wins, sends Grenier into the corner and gets a backdrop. Shelton gets the Stinger splash. Conway distracts Shelton from the apron, allowing Grenier to hit an ugly dropkick, a botched kip-up (HAHA!!) and a cover for two. Shelton sends Grenier into the ropes and tries a superkick, blocked. He gets a leg lariat for two, and follows it up with that’s MISTER Exploder for three.

Winner: Shelton Benjamin via pinfall (3:18)

Throughout the match, Maven said that he has been trying to get in touch with Shelton to challenge him at the PPV. Since this is the last Raw before New Year’s Resolution and all that…

Backstage, Muhammad Hassan & Khosrow Daivari are dressed for success in Le Grand Dйbat. They head to the ring. The debate is next.

Ad Break.

Todd Grisham is in the ring to introduce the participants in our debate on the treatment of Arab-Americans in today’s society. Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler are already in the ring; Muhammad Hassan & Khosrow Daivari are introduced as being from Michigan.

First question to Hassan and Daivari: “Do you feel that Arab-Americans have been unfairly persecuted in this country since 9/11?”

Hassan takes it himself. “America um, meh” – [USA! USA!] – “As I was trying to say, please! America, at its core, is a racist nation.” Boos. “After all, this country was founded on slavery. And Arab-Americans have not only been discriminated against since 9/11, but before 9/11 as well. This goes way, way back. I remember a time in this country where people would at least pretend, pretend to be polite. Even though just like now, you can – you can still see the underlying contempt in their eyes, but then, then 9/11 happened. And everything came out. You people used a national tragedy as an excuse! An excuse to let your real feelings toward Arab-Americans come through. And now, you people feel like you have the right to openly express your discrimination without consequence and without reason.” [USA! USA!] “If we went right up the road to Times Square for New Year’s Eve, we most certainly would have been searched, harassed, threatened, or even worse. And for what reason? Because we look differently than you?” Boos. “It is the arrogance and the intolerance of this country that is why we are the most hated nation in the world. And it is that intolerance and that arrogance, is why you deserve it.”

King responds. “Look. Hey. Are there, are there racists in this country? Are there? Absolutely. But I got news for you, Hassan. There are racists and idiots in every country in the world. Now, if you think you’ve been treated unfairly, I don’t have any problem with you comin’ out here and expressing that, but a few weks ago, you came out here on national television and you called our troops that are puttin’ their lives on the line every day for us gutless cowards. And that, Hassan, is unacceptable. Now I don’t think these people hate you because you’re Arab-Americans, because thankfully most Arab-Americans aren’t like you two. I’d be willing to bet that these people hate you two because you’re a couple of loudmouthed obnoxious jackasses!” Khosrow responds, shouting angrily as only he can. King insists, “You know that every word of it is true!”

Hassan cuts him off. “Hold on. Hold on. Please. Hold on, Lawler. You know what? You’re right. No. He’s right. Most Arab Americans, they’re not like us. In fact, most Arab Americans make me sick!” [BIG “Asshole” chant.] “You see, most Arab-Americans, they sit back quietly and they take this abuse. And they try to hide their heritage. Instead of proudly displaying it like I do. Because I, for one, will not embrace a racist nation! Oh, you disagree, JR? You know, for once, you’ve been quiet all night. And you’re exactly the kind of person that I’M talking about. You’re a member of the media. You lead all these puppets. You tell ’em what to think. But deep down inside, it sickens you that I”m just as American as you are. And I’m just as American as apple pie. As Mickey Mantle. As your Oklahoma Sooners. Yeah. That pisses you off, doesn’t it, that gets ya hot, doesn’t it, JR? But you know what? You’re not gonna do anything about it, because you’re just like America. When my back is turned you’re all tough talk, but when we’re face to face you back down like the coward you are! Isn’t that right, JR? Say it! Say it, JR! Say it! I dare you to say it, JR!…”

JR’s turn. “I got something to say to you there, Muhammad. America’s not a perfect place, but what country is? When you unfairly characterize everybody as being a racist, and more importantly when you badmouth our fighting men and women, I’ve got a little advice for both of you boys. As far as America is concerned, you love it, or by gawd, you leave it!”

And this prompts Muhammad to knock his lectern over and stare JR down. Muhammad looks away and then punches JR in the gut! They double-team King. Muhammad knocks him out cold with a belt. Daivari gets some cheap shots in on JR for good measure, then chokes him out with the belt. Daivari taunts JR and we get some crazy heat for this segment. Wow.

On the outside, King, who’s busted open badly, pulls out a belt of his own and heads back in, and uses one swing to send the heels back out. Play their music! They stand at the top of the ramp and taunt the faces.

Ad Break. Though the content in the Hassan/Daivari segments hasn’t been spectacular, the heat generated by the exploitative “Angry Arab-American” angle is absolutely nuts.

Highlights of the beatdown. Jonathan Coachman has assumed the announce position all by himself for the rest of the show.

Match #4: Trish Stratus vs Victoria

Trish fires off the right hands before the bell and gets the early advantage. Trish sends Victoira into the corner and gets a series of kicks. Trish gets a snapmare and pulls the hair. Victoria comes back with punches to the midsection. Trish gets Victoria back in the corner and tries some blatant choking. That doesn’t work, so she gets some brawling stuff in the corner, a forearm to the back of the head, and a blatant choke using the bottom rope. Trish uses a catapult onto the bottom rope. Ow. trish goes for Stratusfaction, reversed to a back suplex. Trish keeps coming back with punches and such, but Victoria gets a rollup out of nowhere for two. Victoria throws a series of rights and gets a clothesline. And another. And a back elbow. Victoria gets a headbutt. Victoria gets a bodyslam and tries the standing moonsault, but that’s blocked. Trish capitalizes with the big kick to the back of the head for the win.

Winner: Trish Stratus via pinfall (3:06)

“Take a look, Lita. Take a good look, Lita, because this is exactly what you’re in for at New Year’s Revolution. All your hard work with your neck on the line is all gonna be over, just like that, when I beat you and break another record, and become the 6-time Women’s Champion…”

Lita interrupts her and I think we have a confrontation. They trade slaps, then punches. Lita wins the slugfest and gets Trish in the corner, but Trish fights back. Lita goes to blatant choking. That never fails. Lita gets the monkey flip and Kane’s pyro goes off! Lita locks in the sleeper with the bodyscissors…and Gene Snitsky runs in! We get the TSN crowd shots up here. The distraction is enough to set Trish up for a kick to the head. Snitsky gets a chair from the outside and prepares to brutalize Lita. He sets up the chair for the neck-Pillmanizer. The lights go out and Kane’s music hits. Kane does, in fact, return… without pyro! They slug it out on the outside. Kane sends Snitsky retreating into the crowd, and New Year’s Resolution is nicely set up.

But that’s not all. Kane slides back into the ring and looks liver Lita in the ring. He pulls her up by the hand. He stares at Snitsky as the corner pyro goes off without Kane telling it to! What the hell?

Coach reminds us that HHH will face Randy Orton later tonight.

Ad Break.

We get highlights of the first Elimination Chamber. Coach reports that King was sent to a medical facility, but Jim Ross was able to ask Eric Bischoff to make a match at New Year’s Revolution: Muhammad Hassan vs Jerry Lawler.

New Year’s Revolution Card
– Muhammad Hassan vs Jerry Lawler
– Kane vs Gene Snitsky
– Shelton Benjamin vs Maven (Intercontinental Title)
– Lita vs Trish Stratus (Women’s Title)
– Eugene Dinsmore & William Regal vs Christian & Tyson Tomko (Tag Titles)
– Batista vs Triple H vs Chris Benoit vs Chris Jericho vs Randy Orton vs Edge (Elimination Chamber; World Title)

Backstage, Christy Hemme engages in an always-exciting photo shoot and gets interrupted by Eugene Dinsmore, who notes that her hair is red and pretty just like Lindsay Lohan who’s from right here on Long Island. Eugene likes her CD and knows the words. Christy asks him to sing, and after some initial reluctance he does before William Regal tells Eugene to go to the ring for his match against Christian. Christy follows Eugene. Regal gets the CD and sings along while dancing. Eugene and Christy have a good laugh. Regal leads Eugene to the ring for real this time. Comйdie!

Ad Break.

Our scientific Raw Interactive Poll, accurate within 5% 19 times out of 20, reveals that 79% of fans think Randy Orton will beat the H’s tonight.

Match #5: Eugene Dinsmore (w/ William Regal) vs Christian (w/ Tyson Tomko)

Eugene gets a pretty tepid reaction. Christian gets a headlock, but Eugene sends him into the ropes and knocks him down. Eugene gets a press slam. He shakes the ropes like Ultimate Warrior. Then he hits the running splash on the back for two. Eugene slams Christian’s head into all three turnbuckles repeatedly. Eugene goes up top. Tomko provides a distraction. Christian brings eugene down and sends him out. Tomko drives Eugene back-first into the ring with a shoulder thrust, then sends him back in to Christian. Christian goes to a chinlock. Christian gets a hairpull takeover. “Vigilant” Mike Chioda: “STAY OFF THE HAIR!” Christian slaps Eugene on the back of the head over and over, but Eugene hits him with the Rock Bottom out of nowhere. Eugene covers slowly for two. Eugene slaps the mat and is getting angry. Christian charges right into the airplane spin, but Christian sneaks out the back door and tries the Unprettier, but Eugene reverses to a double chickenwing slam! Tomko runs in,and Eugene dumps him. Tomko boots Regal, though. Eugene walks into a double-leg takedown and a cover with the ropes, but Eugene rolls through for two. Eugene tries a Jack Brisco roll, but Christian blocks it and reaches out to Tomko for the three-count.

Winner: Christian via pinfall (3:44)

Backstage, Ric Flair encourages Triple H for his match tonight. HHH says that, since he’s only facing Randy Orton tonight and won’t need Batista’s backup for a match with one man, he doesn’t want Batista out there; he wants to show that Orton was nothing but a tag-along. Batista says that he won’t get involved in the match. HHH heads out and their backs are facing each other, so Batista adds, “Unless he really starts kicking your ass.”

Ad Break.

Jim Ross is back at the announce position. He’s looking forward to being in Jerry Lawler’s corner next Sunday, and he promises that there will be a different story told then.

Match #6: Triple H (w/ Ric Flair) vs Randy Orton

Their first TV singles meeting since HHH beat Orton for the big gold belt at Unforgiven. They stare each other down. They lock up. HHH gets a headlock. Orton sends him into the ropes, but HHH gets a shoulderblock. HHH runs again. Orton leapfrogs and gets a dropkick. Orton gets a right and HHH bails into a corner. Orton tries a cross-corner whip, reversed, and Orton blocks a charge with a schoolboy for two. Orton runs the ropes with a shoulderblock. HHH tries a hiptoss, but Orton blocks and hits a clothesline for two. HHH bails into the corner. Orton walks into a kick. HHH brings some punches and elbows and such in the corner. Orton turns it into a slugfest and wins, but HHH puts him in the opposite corner. Orton turns that into a slugfest and gets HHH into the corner again, then brings kicks into it, but HHH reversed and puts Orton into the corner. But Orton reverses a cross-corner whip and hits a backdrop. Orton tries for the early RKO, but HHH stays low to the ground to block and takes a powder. Flair gives him advice as we head to an Ad Break. (2:31)

Ad Break ends (5:36)

We’re back, and Orton is beating on HHH in the corner. Orton dumps HHH with a punch of some sort (I missed it) and sends him headfirst into the apron. But Flair distracts Orton as he gets back in, and HHH stunguns Orton on the top rope. HHH walks into a punch from Orton, but uses a running shoulderblock to knock Orton off the apron and throat-first into the security wall. As HHH distracts the referee, Flair uses two-footed stomps on Orton to really drive the point home. HHH heads back out to keep the heat on. He gets more cheap stuff in as Orton struggles to breathe on the outside. HHH taunts the fans on the opposite side. Orton rolls back into the ring. HHH stomps on him. HHH lifts one arm and uses a hard kick to the gut. And he does it again. HHH backs Orton into the corner and uses a series of shoulder thrusts. HHH covers for two. Coach notes that Orton should’ve just thrown the match to stay healthy for Sunday. HHH stands over Orton pensively and gets punished with a series of rights, but HHH hits a kneelift when Orton runs the ropes and covers for two. HHH heads outside as our referee deals with Ric Flair being in the ring. HHH scoops Orton and tries to send him headfirst into the ringpost, but Orton sneaks out the back door and shoves HHH into the post himself. Flair looks over HHH as Orton bails into the ring to rest up. HHH heads back in and we have a slugfest. Orton wins. He gets a kick to the gut and a European uppercut. Orton uses a whip and a powerslam for two. Orton uses an armwringer into the 3.0 for two. Orton gets a bodyslam, bends over to sell the gut injury, and heads up, because everyone knows a missed cross body is just what you want to risk when you’re opponent’s been working on your gut all match. But it connects! OK, I was wrong. It gets two. Orton lines up the RKO. HHH blocks and sends him into the ropes… and HHH gets the SLEEPER OF SLEEP, but Orton quickly reverses to a sleeper of his own. HHH gets close to the ropes, so Orton shoves him into the corner and locks in a sleeper again. But HHH shoves Orton’s head into the referee’s and we have a double-KO including the ref. And Ric FLair’s at ringside, so he slides the ring bell to HHH. Orton stumbles back, but he blocks the ring bell shot with a kick. He knocks Flair off the apron and gets the bell himself. With the ref still out, the hard bell shot knocks HHH out. Orton tosses the bell outside [Coach: “Ring the bell!” Haha.] Batista runs in and brutalizes Orton with the lariat of incapacitation. Chris Benoit runs in to brawl with Benoit on the outside. Edge runs in to line up the spear on Shawn Michaels, our replacement referee, but Chris Jericho intercepts him and hits a plancha on everybody on the outside. HBK starts the double 10-count, which irritates HHH. He lectures HBK… but Orton’s up behind him. Orton tries the RKO. HHH blocks it! HHH tries the Pedigree, reversed to a jackknife roll (booking!) for two. Orton finally hits the RKO for the win!

Winner: Randy Orton via pinfall (16:43)

Is that what’s going to happen this Sunday? Orton is the last man standing and we’re out.

Hard sell? What hard sell? Raw kept the in-ring stuff coming fast and furious, and the result was another good show. Enjoy NYR if you’re ordering it; I’ll see you next week.