411’s WWE Raw Report 03.08.04

411’s WWE Raw Report 03.01.04
Live from Bridgeport, Conn
Announcers are JR & The King
Report done *EXCLUSIVELY* for 411MANIA by PK

There is a coffin in the ring, covered in dirt, with the Gregorian Chants over the loud speaker.

Intro…

Kane is looking at the coffin through a screen backstage, and he makes his way to the ring. Kane is pretty freaked out, but knocks over the coffin, to find an urn. He then flips out and tosses the coffin to the floor. He laughs at the urn, and yells that he is not afraid. The lights go purple and the gongs start. Then the ring starts to rise off the floor, and keeps moving. Kane looks really scared now. Damnit, just come out TAKER!

Commercials.

Booker T, RVD, Bubba Ray & D’Von vs. Cade, Jindrak & La Rez
Booker T & RVD have a joint entrance now, with, what seems to be, both theme songs right on top of each other. Bubba and Conway start. Dupree quickly in, Bubba with a hip toss and a body slam. RVD in, Rolling Thunder on Dupree, then a reverse Mule Kick. RVD goes for his shoulder blocks in the corner, but, like always, he misses and drills his shoulder into the ringpost. Cade in, starts working on RVD’s shoulder, Jindrak quickly in. Booker finally gets the hot tag, nails Jindrak with a Book End for 2 when it’s broken up. All 8 men in the ring, Booker goes for a scissors kick, but Conway nails an elbow to the back of the head when he hits the ropes, and Jindrak rolls him up for the win.
Winners – La Rez, Jindrak/Cade

Jericho on the phone with Trish, says that he feels so bad that he couldn’t help her a few weeks ago. Christian jumps Jericho from behind, and gets on the phone. He tells Trish that Jericho is in the same position that Trish is used to, flat on his back.

Commercials.

During the break, Christian gets out of the arena.

Recap of the Tag match, Booker T says that they will keep the Titles at ‘Mania.

Recap of “The Rock: This Is Your Life” Back from 1999.

Rock walking around backstage, and runs into his arch nemesis, The Hurricane (with Rosey). Hurricane reminds Rock that last time they were in the ring, Hurricane won. Rock laughed it off. Hurricane then says that he saw Walking Tall, and it was good, but Rosey got lost after going to get JuJuB’s, and ended up seeing Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. Coach then comes in, and says that Rock has come back sporting his look. Rock then mocks Coach, on how Coach kisses Bischoff’s ass all the time, and shoves him out of there. Rock then wishes Hurricane and Rosey luck in their handicap match with Evolution.

Commercials.

Evolution vs. The Hurricane & Rosey
Hurricane and Flair start, with Hurricane on fire. But Flair gets Hurricane in the corner. Orton comes in, and beats down Helms, KOs Rosey off the apron, and tags in Batista, who quickly ends it with a Demon Bomb on Hurricane.
Winners – Evolution

Orton says that on Sunday, they will win and devastate Rock & Sock.

Commercials.

Recap of HBK/Benoit vs. Orton/Batista last week.

Chris Benoit vs. Matt Hardy
Matt Facts: Matt Never Irons His Clothes. Matt Occasionally Cheats On His Diet.
Matt gets in Benoit’s face and yells “I’m V ONEAHHHH,” Benoit then beats him down to the outside. Benoit follows Matt to the outside, but Matt gets in first and stomps away. Matt nails the Side Effect for 2. Matt goes for a clothesline, but Benoit ducks it and nails the Trifecta Germans. Benoit then locks on the Crossface for the submission.
Winner – Benoit

JR says that he is going down to talk to Benoit in the ring.

Commercials.

JR asks Benoit what is going through Benoit’s head going into WMXX. Benoit is about to live a lifelong dream. HBK comes out. He says that he respects Benoit for what he did to get here, but for him it’s all about ending a 10 feud with HHH, and unfortunately, that means that HBK is leaving with the belt. They then scuff a bit, but then shake hands to form a pact to make sure HHH doesn’t leave with the title. HHH comes out and runs them down. HHH says that he has over come all the odds that have been shoved in his face, and that he will have an advantage over Benoit & HBK because of their egos.

Commercials.

Foley walks in, and talks to Spike.

Lita vs. Molly Holly
Molly jumps Lita to start. Lita fights back, and nails a drilling clothesline. Lita nails a reverse ToF for 2. Molly ducks a clothesline, and rolls up Lita, and grabs the ropes for the pin.
Winner – Molly

Molly attacks Lita, and Victoria makes the save.

Recap of Austin/McMahon from last week.

Commercials.

Recap of the Brock/Goldberg feud.

Austin makes his way down to the ring. Austin says that he will call it down the middle, and since Goldberg gave him a Spear, and Brock gave him a F5, he doesn’t care much for either of them right now. He then says that he is going down to Atlantic City to Smackdown this week to get his ATV back.

Commercials.

Rewind – Christian beating down Trish 2 weeks ago.

Chris Jericho vs. Steven Richards
Jericho pounces on Richards. Jericho charges at Richards in the corner, but Richards moves, and Jericho goes shoulder first into the corner. Richards has a shoulder lock on, but Jericho gets out. Jericho goes for the Lionsault, but Richards dodges it. Jericho goes to lock on The Walls, but Trish’s music hits, and Christian comes out. Jericho is distracted, and Richards rolls him up for the win.
Winner – Steven Richards

Jericho flips out and beats up Richards

Recap of the HoF inductees.

Commercials.

Stacy and Miss Jackie pimp WMXX some more. They then start signing their version of “Milkshake.” Johnny Spade enters and tells them that he is Bischoff’s new apprentice, and that he will make them stars. So, he changed his name from Blaze to Spade, and is an agent? I’m confused.

JR and King go over the WM Card:

HHH vs. HBK vs. Benoit – World Title

Jericho vs. Christian

Victoria vs. Molly Holly – Woman’s Title

RVD/Booker T vs. Dudleyz vs. Cade/Jindrak vs. La Resistance – World Tag Team Titles

Rock & Sock vs. Evolution

Chavo Guerrero Defends in a Cruiserweight Open

Big Show vs. John Cena – US Title

Rikishi & Scotty 2 Hottie vs. Bashems vs. APA vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team – WWE Tag Team Titles

Guerrero vs. Angle – WWE Title

Miss Jackie & Stacy Keibler vs. Torrie Wilson & Sable – Evening Gown Match

Undertaker vs. Kane

Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg

Commercials.

The Rock comes out. Finally…Bridgeport…ya. He then welcome’s out Foley. Rock says that he knows Foley won’t be happy until they whoop Evo’s candy ass at WM. So, Foley, THIS IS YOUR LIFE. Confetti falls from the ceiling, and Rock first shows footage of ‘Dude Love’ leaping of a roof when he was a Teenager. So, Rock brings out the woman who owned that house. She used to make them cookies & milk, and some mouth watering pie. Rock is flabbergasted. Rock asks if she is still serving pie on her front porch. She says that she isn’t anymore, but she always keeps her backdoor open for some strudel. HAHA. Rock tells her to get away from him. Next, we all know that Foley hitchhiked to the MSG back in 1983 to see Jimmy ‘Superfly’ Snuka leap off the top of the cage, so next, Rock will bring out Superfly! Foley says to Superfly that if it weren’t for Superfly, he would not be in the ring right now. Foley then invites Superfly to MSG for WMXX. Rock then gives us his impression of Superfly on the mic. The woman is back, and is staring at Superfly’s ass. They leave together, and King says they can play spin the bottle with Mylanta. Rock then brings out the first person that reviewed Foley’s first book, “Have A Nice Day,” Bob Thompson. Foley says that this guy gave him a horrible review, and that he has wanted to stuff a sock down his throat. King says “I bet he writes one of those dirt sheets on the side.” The critic says that if Rock gave this much passion in Walking Tall, the movie wouldn’t be a Walking piece of crap. Foley whips out the sock, and locks on the mandible claw! Batista comes through the crowd, and beheads Rock! Flair and Orton come down the ramp, and there is a 3 on 1 beat down on Foley. They go for a spike pile driver, but Rock is back in. Rock takes out all 3 men, but Orton goes for a RKO. Rock shoves him off and sets up for a Rock Bottom, but Batista breaks it up. Batista then drills Rock with a Demon Bomb! Evo leaves Rock & Sock lying in the ring.

Show Over.

~PK