411’s WWE Raw Report 9.19.05

Cue the Raw intro, cue the pyros, cue JR welcoming us to yet another LIVE Monday Night Raw! This one is in Wichita Falls, Texas.

Tonight we’ll see Trish Stratus vs. Torrie Wilson.

Also a rematch from last night – Ric Flair vs. Carlito for the IC Title.

And in the main event it’ll be Shawn Michaels, John Cena, Matt Hardy, and Big Show vs. Edge, Snitsky, Chris Masters, and Kurt Angle.

**I’m BAAAAAAACK**

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the General Manager of Raw, Eric Bischoff. Eric has a sneer smile on his face as he carries the WWE Title over his shoulder. Let me add – a non-spinner WWE Title, thank God!

Eric: Clearly after Unforgiven last night there’s a great deal of confusion as to who the WWE Champion is. Well, I’m here tonight to clear all that up because tonight I have a major announcement to make. But before I do please allow me to introduce WWE’s only Olympic Gold Medalist, Mr. Kurt Angle!

And here comes the man, the myth, the legend…Kurt Angle. Eric and Kurt embrace in a hug. Angle celebrating like he won a gold medal

Eric:Now as I was saying, last night at Unforgiven John Cena showed a flagrant disregard for the rules and for authority. Including putting his hands on me. But fortunately one of the great things about being the general manger is I can do something about it. So by the powers invested in me by the WWE Board of Directors I hereby strip John Cena of the WWE Title! (Boos) And allow me to introduce to you the new WWE Champion….

**NO CHANCE…that’s what you got!!**

It’s Vince McMahon!!! And he’s strutting his stuff. Vinnie Mac is baaack in town, baby!

Vince grabs a mic and shakes Kurt Angle’s hand as well as Eric’s.

Eric: Well Mr. McMahon I didn’t think you were going to be here til later. I know you have an announcement to make…

Angle: Eric, Eric – hold on a second. I’m sure Mr. McMahon wanted to congratulate me for beating John Cena last night and putting on a hell of a show.

Vince: As a matter of a fact, Kurt, congratulations (Thank you).

Kurt: And Mr. McMahon I just wanted to tell you as your new WWE Champion I will represent this company with the three I’s. Intensity, integrity, and intelligence. That’s what this company needs.

Vince: Excuse me. WWE Champion? (Yeah) Who in hell named you WWE Champion? (Cheers)

Kurt: He did. (points to Bischoff)

Vince: You? You know damn well you don’t have the authority to strip John Cena of the WWE Championship. You know damn well there’s only two ways a title changes hands – either by pinfall or by submission. So you tell me what happened as a result of the championship match at Unforgiven.

Eric: Well, you saw what Cena did. He put his hands on me. He attacked me, he attacked me. I’m the General Manager.

Vince: (mocks Bischoff) SHUT THE HELL UP! I’ll tell you what happened at Unforgiven, yeah. Kurt Angle defeated John Cena, however, it was a disqualification. Therefore, still your WWE Champion as we speak, John Cena. I’ll get back to Cena in a moment. This announcement doesn’t concern you at the moment. Because here in this ring in two weeks is the biggest night in Raw history. Two weeks from tonight there will be a WWE Homecoming in which you’ll see coming back home the hardcore legend, Mick Foley. Walking down that very aisle will be the Game, Triple H! Gracing this squared circle will be the Immortal Hulk Hogan! And live in this very ring two weeks from tonight the Texas Rattlesnake, Stone Cold Steve Austin! And there’s something else that’s gonna occur two weeks from tonight at WWE Homecoming. And by the way Eric I do have the authority to do this.

Kurt: Does it concern us or me for that matter?

Vince: Two weeks from tonight there will be a WWE Championship match, and I’ve got the authority to make this. John Cena goes one on one with you, Eric Bischoff!

**Cue the No Chance in Hell music again**

Vince takes the WWE Title from Bischoff and takes off with it. Kurt and Eric are none too happy. I’m not either – I would have liked to see Kurt vs. Cena rather than the newly scheduled Bischoff vs. Cena.

Coming up next….Trish Stratus vs. Torrie Wilson!

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We’re back. JR and King thank us for being with them last night at Unforgiven. Coach pimps “Calling” by Taproot. Not a bad song, actually.

Eric and Vince walk. Bischoff says he’s not a wrestler. Vince tells him he has that karate stuff going. Bischoff whines some more. Vince says he’ll think about it. Vince hops in his limo and hits the road. Vince says he’s thought about it and the match is still on.

And here’s Torrie Wilson, Victoria, and Candace Michelle. Torrie has her puppies – I mean puppy again (credit the King). That entrance Torrie and Candace do is not really that great. I’m sorry.

And here’s the Women’s Champion, Trish Stratus – who I must add stole the show last night. She is being accompanied to the ring by Ashley Massaro – who I must add did not.

Match 1: Trish Stratus vs. Torrie Wilson

Trish goes after Victoria to start things up and gets nailed from behind by Torrie. Back in the ring now Torrie is kicking away at Trish. Trish back in control, goes for a jab, but Torrie slides out underneath the ring. Trish taking on all customers now. Ashley with a double clothesline on Candace and Victoria! Back in the ring, Trish pounds away on Torrie. Trish licks that beautiful hand of hers and nails a knife-edge chop. Trish with the irish whip into the corner goes Torrie. Trish up on the middle rope and pounding away on Torrie. Candace distracts the ref so Victoria can throw Trish off the rope. Roll-up by Torrie gets 2. Torrie now yelling at her partners. Trish with the rollup and that’s all!

WINNER: Trish Stratus (1:50)

The 2005 version of PMS pounding on Trish now. Torrie going for a clothesline, but the matrix sends her into Candace. Victoria pounding away on Trish. Candace with a neckbreaker type maneuver on Ashley. Torrie with a facebuster on Ashley. And now here’s Victoria with the widow’s peak on Trish! PMS celebrates over the fallen beauties.

Of course tonight Carlito gets his rematch for the IC Title against Ric Flair.

The three hour special will start at 7:00 PM CT instead of the normal 8:00. So don’t forget that!

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The WWE Rewind is last evening’s tag team title match. That DDT was sick by Murdoch. And for those who don’t know we’ve got brand new tag team champions!

And here’s the new tag team champions, Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch. Apparently one of them will be in singles competition this evening. And that man will be Trevor Murdoch.

**Stand back there’s a Hurricane coming through….**

Murdoch’s opponent will be The Hurricane. Rosey is on his way with him.

Match 2: Trevor Murdoch vs. The Hurricane

Lock up broken up by a knee to the belly by Murdoch. Hurricane fighting back and pounding the hell out of Murdoch in the corner. Murdoch sneaks outside the ring for a break. Cade calms him down a bit as he’s pissed! Murdoch back in the ring now. Hurricane delivers an armdrag. Murdoch back outside the ring and Rosey throws him back in. Head scissors by the Hurricane. Cover only gets 1. Hurricane with some rights on Murdoch. Murdoch pulls him forward and Hurricane goes face first into the buckle. Murdoch with a huge clubbing blow on Hurricane sending him sprawling. Murdoch focuses on the neck now of Hurricane. More clubbing blows, back into a front face lock working on the neck. Hurricane fighting his way up lands a right to the belly and another. Murdoch back in control goes for another DDT, but Hurricane held on to the rope. Rights by Hurricane. Kick to the abdomen. Hurricane off the rope with a running knee to the sternum. Irish whip and a running clothesline by Hurricane. Hurricane to the second rope and he goes off with a missile dropkick! Hurricane landed on his left shoulder, though, and he’s down. Both men working their way to their feet. Hurricane throwing rights with his left arm just dangling there. Hurricane up to the middle rope and pounding on Murdoch. He lands four, but Murdoch ends that with a slingshot on the top buckle. Murdoch lands a DDT and that’s all she wrote.

WINNER: Trevor Murdoch (4:10)

The tag team champs celebrate in the ring as Hurricane continues to sell that left arm stinger.

We cut to Todd Grisham who is joined by Carlito. Todd mentions his loss to Flair last night.

Carlito: I didn’t lose. The referee said I tapped out. I was just reaching for the ropes, but my hand just hit the mat. I know what happened, idiot. Ric Flair did not beat Carlito. That’s ok because tonight I’m going to beat Ric Flair. And once again Carlito will be the Intercontinental Champion. And that….that’s cool.

Don’t forget about the huge main event – the 8 man tag!

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Edge is in the back and he’s pissed off! He’s getting sick of being in all these damn matches. Edge says Matt has gone too far and he needs to be fired again. Eric’s not happy about Edge demanding things. Eric says Edge isn’t the only one around here with problems. Eric’s getting sick of these two lunatics running around attacking each other. Eric says he’s putting an end to it all and sets up an Edge vs. Matt Hardy in a loser leaves Raw match in two weeks at WWE Homecoming. And it’s going to be in a ladder match! But what in sam hell is going to be hanging above the ring?? The money in the bank briefcase! Hmmmmmm.

And here’s everyone’s favorite wrestler, Tyson Tomko. His opponent is a hometown hero named Eddie Craven.

Match 3: Tyson Tomko vs. Eddie Craven

Lockup and Tomko backs Craven into the ropes. Clean break – no Tomko with a push. Craven pushes back and Tomko knocks him down with a big right. Tomko with a boot to the sternum sends Craven to the outside. Tomko rolls him back in. Craven fighting back with some rights. Craven off the ropes and Tomko nails him with what I’m now calling, the Big Boot. And Craven is out. Ring the bell, ring the damn bell! Ring it! And there it is.

WINNER: Tyson Tomko (0:57)

We see a little highlight package of how the Carlito/Ric Flair thing got started. And, of course, the other things in the middle including the nut-grabbing incident. And of course – the culmination last night when Flair took that title and partied ALL NIGHT LONG!

**I spit in the face of people who don’t want to be cool…**

And here’s the former Intercontinental Champion, Carlito! Carlito doesn’t look too happy.

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We’re back live. Carlito’s music is STILL playing. Damn, that has to be getting old for those folks in Wichita Falls.

***WOOOOOOOO……..***

And the best damn music in the game today plays over the speakers as the new Intercontinental Champion, Ric Flair is heeere!

Match 4: Intercontinental Title Match – Ric Flair © vs. Carlito

Flair with the same sweet ass robe as last night. Wonder where those sweet ass hos are?? There’s the bell. Flair starts his strut. Lockup attempt, but Flair backs off – WOOO!! Lockup. Flair pushes Carlito into the corner. Clean break from Naitch? Yep. Carlito picks up some feathers from Flair’s robe and throws them out of the ring. Lockup again leads to a side headlock by Carlito. Irish whip by Flair and Carlito sends Flair sprawling with a shoulderblock. Big chants of you tapped out! Knife-edge chop by Flair sends Carlito to the mat and now to the outside. Carlito back in the ring. Another lockup leads to an arm wringer by Flair and another WOO slap! Flair backs Carlito into the corner. More chops by Flair. Kick to the ankle by Flair. More stomps on the leg of Carlito. Figure four attempt but Carlito slides out underneath the bottom rope. More chants of “YOU TAPPED OUT!” Carlito back in the ring again. Lockup, side headlock by Flair, chain-wrestling lesson by Flair. Flair ends up on top of Carlito with the hammerlock. Flair pulls Carlito to his feet and into the corner. More chops by Flair. Arm bar now by Flair. Carlito working his way to his feet and lands a rake to the eyes.

Carlito sends Flair over the top rope with a clothesline. Carlito breaks up the count as JR astutely points out you can’t win the title that way. Flair back in and Carlito stomping a mud hole in Flair in the corner. Carlito with some lefts on Flair still in the corner. Flair up, but Carlito sends him back down with another left. Irish whip to the buckle and Flair walks into a back body drop. Cover gets 2. Carlito with a kick to the head. More lefts by Carlito sends Flair sprawling to the corner. Flair has a huge ass swelling above his eye from that boot. Irish whip, clothesline misses by Carlito and Flair lands a poke to the eye. Another chop by Flair and Carlito goes down. And another. Flair pulls Carlito into the corner and puts his legs up on each side of the buckle. He’s going for a nutgrab, but the ref breaks it up and Carlito takes advantage again. More lefts by Carlito. Flair dazed and there’s the famous fall over. Carlito with the cover gets 2. Carlito gives Flair a taste of his own medicine with some chops. Flair comes back with a chop of his own. Irish whip to the buckle and Carlito walks into another slap. Flair goes to the outside and takes a bite of Carlito’s apple and spits it all over Carlito! Another chop by Flair sends Carlito to his knees! Fish hook by Flair on Carlito! That left eye is messed up for Flair. Flair with some jabs from each side. And another chop sends Carlito to the mat. Flair struts his stuff! Carlito on the apron and Flair snaps Carlito’s neck off the top rope. Flair up again with another! Blatant choke by Flair and he breaks the count on four. Flair pulls Carlito up on the apron by his hair. Looking for a suplex to the inside, reversed twice, Carlito going for it now, reversed twice. Flair slams Carlito’s head into the steel post. Carlito on the outside and he might be hitting the road! But we’re going to an…

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We’re back live and Carlito is in control and slapping Flair. Flair goes back with another chop! During the break Flair ran down Carlito, but that was when Carlito got in control with a punch as well as irish whipping Flair into the steel steps at ringside. Back into live action and Carlito covers for a 2. Carlito with a front face lock on Flair now. Crowd into this match and they are willing Flair up. Shots to the abdomen breaks the lock by Flair. Two more chops. Risih whip reversed by Carlito and a spinebuster by Carlito! Cover – 1…2….no! Carlito not happy with the count. Carlito now with a front suplex – cover gets another 2 count. Carlito with a straight right hand and another and now a big kick to the face of Flair. Flair into the turnbuckle. Carlito up the middle rope landing lefts. Flair lands an atomic drop! Both men are down! Flair up and pulls Carlito up as well and another chop! Flair strutting again. Off the rope goes Flair, elbow attempt, Carlito rolls out of the way as Flair stops short and then nails the elbow drop! Whip into the buckle by Flair. Carlito off with a big clothesline. Cover by Carlito gets another 2! Carlito getting his ass slapped around again! Four times, five times now. Carlito ends that with a straight left. Thumb to the eye by Flair. Carlito and Flair exchanging chops and fists now! Thumbs to the eyes by Flair! Another chop sends Carlito sprawling. Another strut! I can’t get enough of this. Flair landing straight rights and lefts as Carlito sits on his knees. Another hard chop by Flair! WOOOO!! Whip off the ropes and a back elbow by Flair knocks down the challenger. Flair going to the top! Can he do it again? Carlito looking to throw him off, but Flair lands a right. Off the top with a right by Flair! IT WORKED AGAIN!!! Flair off the ropes and a chop block to the knee of Carlito. Flair goes after Carlito, but Carlito pulls him to the outside. Carlito on the outside now too and he rams the lower back of Flair into the ring apron. Carlito sends Flair back in and he follows him. Carlito stopped short by Flair’s kick to the groin. Figure four attempt by Flair!! And he’s got it locked in!!! Flair using the ropes for leverage and Carlito taps!!

WINNER AND STILL INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION: Ric Flair (20:32)

And Flair remains the dirtiest player in the game.

Todd Grisham introduces us to Matt Hardy. Todd reminds Matt about last night.

Matt: Well, Todd I don’t think this things over yet because tonight I stand across the ring from Edge in the 8-man match. And two weeks from tonight I face Edge in the money in the bank ladder match.

And here’s Shawn Michaels.

Shawn: Everyone’s talking about you and Edge in that steel cage. They’re also talking about the Heartbreak Kid and Chris Masters. Because Shawn Michaels proved again why he is the Showstopper.

And here’s Big Show.

Show: There’s only one show around here. And that’s me! And believe me there’s nobody – and I mean nobody – bigger!

Here’s John Cena.

Cena: Believe it, I’ve seen him in the shower. For the first time in history this team wrestles together. The Big Show – the chokeslam. And if we need you to you’ll beat someone. The Showstopper, the icon, the headliner, H-B-K. One note from the Sweet Chin Music and it’s lights out. Matt Hardy – the Twist of Fate – a legdrop from the atmosphere. Who wouldn’t want a partner that will not die? Todd Grisham! What do you do?

Todd: I can do the robot.

Cena: Wonderful and on top of all that there’s one move that spells it out for Masters, Snitsky, Edge, and Angle. F U!

Shawn: And we’re out!

Good stuff right there.

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The WWE Slam of the Week brought to you by Juicy Drop Pop is Matt Hardy’s guillotine leg drop off the top of the 15-foot high steel cage and the pin.

We’re back LIIIIVE!!! Two weeks from tonight it’s a WWE Homecoming. Great matches already signed include a Loser Leaves Raw Ladder Match: Edge vs. Matt Hardy. Also, Hulk Hogan, Mick Foley, Triple H, and Stone Cold among others return! And the big WWE Championship Match: John Cena defends against Eric Bischoff!

Maria: Joining me now is the new Intercontinental Champion, the Nature Boy Ric Flair. Ric what happened to your eye.

Flair: It’s just a little battle scar from a big night.

Maria: Why do they call you the Nature Boy?

Flair: They call me the Nature Boy, Maria, because I can go – WOOOO – ALL NIGHT LONG! And ever since I won this Intercontinental Championship in Oklahoma City I left the town with four beautiful women and we partied all night long. But never forget that the Nature Boy never confuses business with pleasure. The success with being the IC Champion means I can establish business from pleasure.

Carlito is here and he’s yelling that it’s not cool! Flair and Carlito brawling like craaaazy!! And here’s Chris Masters! Masters locks on the Master Lock as Carlito kicks and pounds on Flair. Carlito gives him some apple for his troubles! I can see it now….your new IC Champion – Chris Masters!

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A highlight package from what was actually a pretty good pay-per-view, Unforgiven, is shown. All week long there will be an encore presentation!

We see what just happened moments ago when Carlito and Chris Masters beat down Ric Flair.

Smackdown Rebound features Randy and Bob Orton in all their glory. Of course, Orton jobbed to the Taker for some asinine reason in what was a good match. Not on par with their WrestleMania match, but most likely better than Summerslam.

We’re back and the ONLY Olympic Godl Medalist in WWE history, Kurt Angle is making his way to the ring for our 8-man tag team main event.

**It Wasn’t My Fault….**

Yes, it was – but I digress as the toe-sucking pervert, Snitsky is here.

**You Think You Know Me….**

And we all know that means Edge is here. But where is LITA?!? I miss her! Everyone please shut the hell up because the Masterpiece Chris Masters is gracing us with his presence.

**Oh…oh….Shawn**

That’s correct – I finally got it right!! And here comes the Showstopper, the icon, the main event – the Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels!

**WEEEEEELL….well it’s the Big Show!**

**Ooooooh Yeeeeeeeeeeeeah**

Matt Hardy showing some effect from last night’s match as he’s limping on that leg.

And last but not least…. the CHAMP IS HERE!!

We’ll see this match after an….

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Match 5: Kurt Angle, Snitsky, Edge, and Chris Masters vs. Shawn Michaels, Matt Hardy, Big Show, and John Cena

I’m always up for a big heel vs. face 8-man tag match. We’re back live as the 8-man tag match is already in progress. Cena with a front suplex on Edge. Cover gets 2 as Angle breaks it up. Elbow b y Cena. Another cover gets 2. Cena tags in Big Show. Show in with a big headbutt on Edge. Now Show walks across the back of Edge – and again. Edge gets some control with a rake to the eyes. Now a tag to Masters. Masters in with a head of steam and some boots. Show doesn’t like that so he turns him around and nails him with his cast iron hand (thanks JR). Tag to Hardy as the crowd goes wild. Hardy with some rights. Tag to Cena. Cena with some haymakers sends Masters sprawling. Masters now with some boots take control. Whip by Masters is met by a boot from Cena. Near fall for Cena. But Masters rakes the eyes. Huge vertical suplex by Masters. Cover gets 2. Masters going for a suplex, but it’s blocked by Cena who gets a suplex of his own. Matt Hardy back in with some rights and lefts. Masters misses a right and Hardy nails one of his own. Hardy slams Masters into the turnbuckle. More rights by Hardy. Running clothesline by Hardy. Tag to Shawn Michaels. Michaels with a knife-edge chop. And another. Michaels with a whip is reversed b y Masters and Michaels goes Flair-like into the turnbuckle. Michaels walks into a military press by Masters. Great strength by Masters. Rights by Masters. Irish whip by Masters to Michaels into the turnbuckle. Masters with a head of steam and he runs into the reverse elbow by Michaels. Michaels going for a body slam, but it’s blocked by Masters and he lands one of his own. Masters off the ropes and misses an elbow drop. Hardy in, Masters misses a clotheslines. Big forearms by Hardy. Hardy off the rope picked up by Masters in a body slam. Hardy slides off the back and nails an inverted DDT. Hardy grabs Edge and brings him in the ring. He’s pounding away on him. But Edge takes control with a clothesline. Hardy with a side effect!! Hardy looking for the Twist of Fate, but Masters locks in the Master Lock from behind! Hardy fading, but Big Show is in the ring and he nails a headbutt sending Masters to the mat.

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Back to live action! Edge is in the ring with Hardy now and has the advantage with a reverse chin lock. Hardy off the ropes and Edge with a flapjack takes down Hardy! Cover gets 2 by Edge! Edge tags in Snitsky. Snitsky with the irish whip into the turnbuckle and he just NAILS Hardy with a big clothesline! Snitsky with a vertical suplex. Cover gets 2. Reverse chin lock applied by Snitsky on Hardy. Hardy breaks out of it with some rights and TWIST OF FATE by Hardy! But he’s down and he can’t get the cover. Both men crawling to their corners! Snitsky with a tag to Angle and Hardy tags HBK! Clothesline by Michaels. Whip by Michaels reversed by Angle. Flying burrito! Kip up! Inverted atomic drop! Scoop slam by Michaels. Michaels to the top rope. Elbow drop gets canvas! Angle yelling at Cena. Angle Slam attempt is countered into a sunset flip by Michaels – but Angle turns that into an Ankle Lock! Counter by Michaels. Angle flips around, but he still has it applied. Michaels looking for the ropes! Michaels won’t quit. Show into the ring with a head butt and another! Chokeslam! No, broken up by Snitsky! Oh my GOD! Angle Slam to Big Show to the outside of the ring! HOLY CRAP!!

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Back to live action. Edge is in the ring with HBK and he has an inverted single leg crab locked on. We see a replay of that God-like Angle Slam by Angle. Show is still out on the outside. Meanwhile, Michaels gets to the rope. Masters in with some boots and rights. A couple knee breaker type moves by Masters. Now some boots by Masters on the knee of Michaels. Masters still working over that leg of Michaels. Angle in with some boots to Michaels. Angle with a reverse chin lock. Michaels working his way up – shots to the abdomen by Michaels and he’s out. Back suplex by Michaels countering the submission! Michaels looking for the tag, but he can’t get it. Rights exchanged by Michaels and Angle. Michaels misses a clothesline and Angle nails the Angle Slam! Cover – 1…2…..broken up by Hardy! Masters goes after Hardy and Angle throws him out of the ring. Another Ankle Lock by Angle! Michaels kicks himself free! Michaels looking for the tag. Edge is in and he just speared the crap out of John Cena to the outside! Enziguri by Michaels and both men are down! Show working his way to the apron! He’s HBK’s only option! Tag to Show! Show with a huge clothesline on Edge and now Angle and Snitsky and Masters! Headbutt to Angle. Huge slap to Edge! Irish whip to Angle into Edge. Show squashes Angle and Edge and the same treatment for Masters and Snitsky! Chokeslam call! Snitsky’s going to get it, but he nails Show with a low blow. Spear by Edge! Cover – 1….2….NO! KICK OUT BY SHOW! All four men pounding on Show now, but he just pushed them all off. All hell is breaking loose! Cena, Show, and Hardy now standing tall in the ring. Show with a military press on Hardy and he sends him into Masters and Snitsky. Edge with the briefcase, but Cena gets rid of that with a side suplex! Five knuckle shuffle by Cena!!! Chokeslam by Show! Cover by all four men on Edge! 1….2….3!!! That…was….AWESOME!!!

WINNERS: Big Show, Matt Hardy, John Cena, and Shawn Michaels (21:52)

The winners celebrating in the ring. I’m going to say it again – that was AWESOME!

And that’s all – see you next week!