wrestling / TV Reports
411’s WWE Smackdown Report 07.29.04
WWE Smackdown Review by J. “Yayowonder” Hernandez
July 30, 2004
Taped from Cincinnati, Ohio and delayed from my living room.
My name is Yayowonder and I will be recapping WWE SD! tonight for your reading pleasure. Sorry about missing the last few weeks but work got me the first week and a power outage got me the next. Just want to address something that was brought up a couple of weeks ago. Eric S. is not better then me. He is leaps and bounds better then me. Hell I’d give that qualification to a lot of writers here at 411. But onto the show if you guys are interested in another take on SD! check back later for the other two members of 411’s SD! Triple Threat: Double M (the most underlinerific report ever (of course last month I had the most bold-erific column ever, now we need Eric to create the most Italic-rific column ever) and the aforementioned Eric S.’. New NWATNA recaps are also available from Flea and Csonka. Finally don’t forget a Yayo’s News and Notes from last week is available for your perusal. And a new one should be available by Saturday.
Grades and such
I do not use snowflakes for my ratings, as snowflakes melt. And I hate the snow since I am a Floridian. So we’ll use something everyone understands, I assign grades. Simple, easy, straight-forward. I also assign them on a SD! scale. Meaning I’m not going to rate free TV matches on the same scale as I would PPV matches. I’ll also tell you anything I think that will help explain the grade. Finally I don’t time matches, as I don’t care how long it was (unless it’s with a lady! Bada-bing!), and I don’t think you do either.
What we’ve missed over the last two weeks…
Courtesy Eric’s Short Form…
7/17/04
Rey-Rey and Spike-Spike over Chavito and Redneck (Pinfall, Dudley pins Noble, Buh Buh Ray ball shot.
Booker T, Rene Dupree, and Kenzo Suzuki over John Cena, Gauntlet Elimination Match (Cena over Suzuki, DQ, blatant choke past the five-count; Cena over Dupree, Pinfall, rollup; Booker over Cena, scissors kick)
Paul London over D-Von Dudley (Pinfall, rollup)
High-Quality Speaker Boy over Eddy Guerrero, WWE Championship Steel Cage Match (Layfield escapes, Lucha-ference)
7/24/04
Buh Buh Ray Dudley over Billy Kidman (Pinfall, Buh Buh Bomb)
High-Quality Speaker Boy over a Jobber (Pinfall, Clothesline From Hell)
Rey-Rey over D-Von Dudley (Pinfall, springboard cross-body)
John Cena over Luther Reigns (Pinfall, Booker-ference)
And now…
Last week…
Vince comes down and places Angle back on the active wrestling roster. Vince also set-up Angle v. Guerrero for Summerslam.
Booker T promo
Booker says last week he was made a promise. That this week he would be declared U.S. Champion. The man that made that promise Kurt Angle is no longer in charge. But Booker expects whoever is in charge to come out and declare him the U.S. Champion. Kenzo’s music hits and he walks down to the ring with Hiroki. Booker says he was talking about the person in charge of SD! not a sushi bar at the Tokyo restaurant. Kenzo through Hiroki then says as someone that loves America, he should be the U.S. champ. Kenzo then goes on to talk about Booker’s breath? OK. RVD’s music then hits and as he’s pointing at himself and the belt, Luther Reigns and Renee Dupree’s music hits and make their way to the ring respectively. Now Charlie Haas and Billy Gunn make their way to the ring (with no music). Now Cena’s music hits and he’s out to “Yo, yo, yo” us. Cena says the crowd knows it, the champ is here as he points to himself. Cena slides in the ring swinging at Booker and a brawl breaks out. Now Vince McMahon’s music hits and he gets in the ring. We’re told all the employees Angle fired have been re-hired. Vince tells the wrestlers to knock it off or he’ll fire every last one of them. Everywhere he goes there is always turmoil. But it isn’t his place, so he introduces us to our new SD! GM: THEODORE LONG!!!!
Long thanks McMahon as Vince walks away. Long says there is only one man that is standing in that ring that deserves to be the U.S. champion. Booker interrupts to thank Long for giving him the belt, but Long retorts that Booker has been hating on SD! since he came over, so why the hell would he give him anything? Long says this is a land of opportunity. Long announces an eight man elimination match for the U.S. Title. He grabs the belt and walks away.
Commercials
Rey Mysterio, Jr. v. Spike Dudley, Cruiserweight Championship Match
Handshake to start. Rey with a headlock, Spike pushes him into the ropes and we have a lot of cruiser-rific leapfrogging and splits. Spike dropkick gets blocked, Rey’s dropkick misses Spike by a mile. Standoff. Armbar by Rey, whip reversed and Rey springboards off the middle rope to avoid a charging Spike. Spike with an attempted clothesline, but Rey ducks it and get the waist-lock. Elbows by Spike to break the move. Rey upset that Spike hit him. What a bitch. Lock-up ends up with both competitors going through the ropes. They both get in and hit kicks on each other. Rey whips Spike off the ropes and gets him with the spinning back breaker. Rey pin attempt only gets two. Rey with a bow and arrow on Spike. Spike breaks and we have some whips as Spike hits the headbutt to the gut. Atomic drop followed by a clothesline. Pin by Spike gets two. Spike hits Rey in the lower back. Spike whips Rey into the opposite turnbuckle. Another whip by Spike gets reversed. Spike gets his legs on Rey’s shoulders from the follow through and leg scissors Rey into the middle turnbuckle. Stomp by Spike in the corner. Spike climbs the corner but Rey hits him. Rey climbs up, trying a move but is knocked himself. Spike has his sunset flip attempt blocked. Rey with punches to the head and jumps off. Rey hit with a boot on the way in. Spike with a sunset flip in the middle of the ring, but Rey rolls through and dropkicks Spike in the mouth-piece. Both men laying. Rey only gets a two off the pin attempt. Rey tries a whip but Spike reverses it into a kick to the gut. Spike tries for a move but Rey floats out and gets a waist-lock. Spike tries the elbows but isn’t successful. He then goes between his legs and grabs Rey’s leg. Rey uses the leverage (?) to flip him over, jump over him, and then attempt a bridged pin attempt that gets two. Rey with a whip which is reversed. Rey springboards off the middle rope into the moonsault but no one’s home. Spike only gets two off the pin attempt. Spike goes for the Dudley Dog but it’s blocked. Rey is then whipped into the turnbuckle and as he walks out gets the bulldog! Spike with a bodyslam n the corner. Spike climbs the corner and goes for the stomp, but Rey counters with two boots to the face. Spike tries to go after a prone Rey, but this leads to a drop toe hold and Spike on the middle rope. D-Von Dudley then appears and argues with the ref, as Bubba trips up Rey during the 6-1-9 attempt on the other side of the ring. Spike hits the Dudley Dog off the middle rope. Pin attempt 1-2-3. Spike is your new Cruiserweight Champion! As he is celebrating he sees Bubba and D-Von celebrating too, and asks “What did you do?” and “I don’t want your help.” Bubba tells him to put a smile on his face.
Winner: Spike Dudley
Grade: C
Commentary: This just didn’t click. Spike for some reason is at his best when he has a bigger wrestler to work with or someone working at a slower pace. The longer the match went the better it got, but we can only hope Le Family Dudz story keeps going to justify Spike with the belt.
RAW Rebound
Iron man match bitches! Commercials.
.Moments ago…
Spike v. Rey highlights. Spike apologizes to Rey about the interference.
Last week…
JBL shits bricks and then builds a house with them as Taker challenges him for the WWE Title at Summerslam.
Long and the ladies
Teddy tells the girls they will never be under-utilized, and if they need anything to holla. Long then makes his way into his office, where Angle is sitting on his desk in the dark. Long asks what he is doing there, if he’s hiding from Eddie Guerrero. Angle then starts reminiscing about what a great GM he was. Angle then gets corrected for calling Long Teddy, he is Theodore R. Long, bitch. Angle says it may surprise Long but he would have had Long succeed him as GM on SD! That would have made him the first black GM of SD! (as somehow what happened today hasn’t done the same thing). Long then realizes for the first time in years he’s black. Long says being the first black anything went out in ’85 (ha!). He tells Kurt that Vince picked him because he trusts his abilities. Long then puts Angle in a match tonight. Kurt says he can’t do it because he’s an emotional wreck. They’ll chant “You Suck” and boo him out of the building. He won’t be held responsible for his physical actions. He doesn’t have his gear. Long says if Kurt doesn’t have his gear, then he can’t wrestle. But he can fine him 1000 dollar-dollar bills y’all, for coming unprepared to work. And next week he’ll be in a match ready or not. Teddy: “Now get to stepping!” Commercials.
Heidenreich vignette featuring Paul Heyman
Re-Match: Dudley Boyz v. Billy Kidman and Paul London,WWE Tag Team Championship
Kidman and London earlier tonight: They opened people’s eyes, but now they have to earn peoples respect. London and Kidman watch as the Dudleyz make their way to the ring. D-Von pushes Paul. Paul slaps him. D-Von with blows to Paul’s back. Armdrag by London on D-Von. Hip-toss is blocked, but London lands a kick to the gut and hits the leg scissors. Dropkick. Pin attempt only gets one. D-Von tags Bubba. London puts Bubba in a head lock. Bubba non-chalantly throws him across the ring. Paul tags Billy. Lock-up and Bubba takes the advantage. Bubba working the arm. Kidman with the cruiser reverse out of Bubba’s hold on his arm. Billy with an armbar. Bubba whips Billy and tries for the Bubba bomb but gets blocked, by a hooked leg. Billy gets out whips Bubba into the ropes and hits the armdrag. Another armbar on Bubba. Bubba pushes Billy into the corner and Bubba works him over with punches and kicks. Whip into the opposite corner. Billy puts his legs up and lands the leg scissors on Bubba. Bubba into the hostile corner and catches a London punch. Billy follows that with another armdrag. And another. D-von in and gets hit with the back body drop. Paul on Bubba and Billy on D-Von working opposite corners of the ring. London drops to all fours and Kidman hits the body press. D-Von comes running in gets a double kick to the gut. Double whip into the corner and London drops on all four. But Bubba drops Kidman down by the scalp and D-Von knocks the shit out of London from behind. D-Von throws London out and now Bubba throws Kidman out. Commercials.
