411’s WWE Smackdown Report 07.29.11

Welcome to the WWE Smackdown Report!

I will be tracking the win/loss record of every Smackdown superstar throughout the year. Here are the guidelines:

– These records only reflect matches that have taken place on Smackdown or Pay-Per-View.
– Matches that end or have ended in a No Contest are not counted.
– In the case of Tag Team matches, each member of the losing team gets a Loss and each member of the winning team gets a Win.
– In the case of multi-man matches, every participant besides the winner gets a Loss.
– Some wrestlers will have a third number in their record. This number represents matches that have ended in a Draw.

Green Day and pyro kick it off as Josh Matthews welcomes us.

Tony Chimel introduces the Chief Operating Officer, Triple H, who begins to mimic the Vince McMahon strut as he walks down the ramp. He has had this gig for 10 days, and is in charge of the day-to-day operations of the WWE. The more he tries to fix things, the more screwed up they get. He will start with the things of highest importance, those being the World Heavyweight Championship on Smackdown and the WWE Championship on Raw. Raw has two WWE Champions: CM Punk and John Cena. He re-signed Punk late Monday night, and both men have legitimate claims to the championship. He will deal with that on Monday. Which brings him to the World Heavyweight Championship…

But he is interrupted by World Heavyweight Champion, Christian. As the face of Smackdown, he just wanted to say congratulations on his new position. Words cannot express how excited he is that HHH is in charge now. He has gone through so much turmoil with Teddy Long over the past few months- it’s the reason he had to seek legal counsel. As World Heavyweight Champion, he knows HHH would like to have a close working relationship with him. HHH doesn’t want that. Vince liked to foster an environment around here where people were encouraged to interrupt him. He liked to think that you couldn’t get ahead unless you stepped on some toes. That worked for a while, hell, HHH would know. While Vince had the patience of a saint (cough), HHH doesn’t, and he will take this interruption as a slap in the face. HHH can slap a whole hell of a lot harder than Christian can, and he will slap back. He doesn’t like negotiations, meetings and lawyers. He is direct and to the point- at SummerSlam, Orton will get his rematch in a No Holds Barred match…

R-Truth makes his way to the ring. He will pick up where he left off. He doesn’t see any spiders crawling in the ring, and HHH isn’t talking to himself either. Everybody knows that there’s a conspiracy against him. This Monday, those conspiracies better be straightened out, because he is a man of action. HHH mocks him with a “What?” He knows Truth is a man of action, and he will be in action right here tonight when he goes one-on-one with Orton. Christian assures Truth he has any advice he needs on Orton. HHH has someone for Christian tonight too- John Morrison.

In the back, Triple H is with Teddy Long. Long congratulates him before they come across Zack Ryder. Ryder has already come to HHH 15 times a day, what more could be possibly have to say? It’s not Ryder’s fault that they don’t realize he’s Internet Champion, but this is his idea…this is the one. HHH has an idea too, Ryder will be Long’s assistant. Woo, woo, woo!

Match One: Christian (14-6) vs. John Morrison (1-0)
This is Morrison’s first match back since being away with injury. R-Truth is shown in the back looking on. They lockup and Morrison gets a go-behind followed by a quick rollup. Back up, Morrison sends Christian over the top. Back inside, Christian slaps Morrison across the face and drops him with a back elbow. He hits with a right hand but Morrison telegraphs a back body drop and connects with a springboard kick for two. Christian throws Morrison to the floor but misses a plancha. Morrison heads back in and connects with a corkscrew plancha to the outside as we go to commercial.

Back from break, Christian hits with a neckbreaker for two. He chokes him against the middle rope and mat slams him. Christian works over the neck with rights before slowing things down with a headlock. Morrison fights out and avoids a tornado DDT. He comes back with two clotheslines and a flying kick before countering an inverted DDT with a kick to the head. Cover gets two and Morrison tries for Moonlight Drive but settles for a flapjack. He tries to hit with a running knee but Christian avoids it and drops him with a spinebuster for two. Morrison makes Christian miss with a slap and connects with a standing moonsault slam for two more! Back up, Morrison powers Christian to the corner and slugs away. Christian answers right back with a Spear for two! He composes himself and heads to the top but Morrison cuts him off. They fight on the top rope until Morrison backdrops Christian to the mat. Morrison looks to end it with a split-legged moonsault but Christian avoids it and snaps his neck across the top rope. Killswitch connects and it’s over.
Winner: Christian in 11:00
Rating: *** (Morrison didn’t show too much ring rust, and managed to pull off his usual flashy offense. In the end though, this was another great win for Christian to kick off the action tonight.)

Post-match, we see Jinder Mahal and The Great Khali watching the show in a press box.

Later tonight, Randy Orton vs. R-Truth.

Back from break, Wade Barrett stands in the ring and it’s promo time. He wants to tell us why he left England to become a WWE Superstar. Not because he wanted to entertain people like us, but because he wanted to make himself a lot of money. Unfortunately, he lost sight of that over the last 12 months. That was until last week, when we all saw Daniel Bryan strutting around with the Money in the Bank briefcase. Loud “Daniel Bryan” chant from the crowd. We all saw him gloating about how he’s gonna cash it in at Wrestlemania. The paycheck that brings should be Barrett’s. That’s why today, we will see a return to basics for Barrett. Greed is terribly underrated, and if Bryan has proved anything, it’s that it doesn’t matter how overrated, overhyped…

Which brings out Daniel Bryan. Originality isn’t Barrett’s strong suit is it? Heath Slater came out last week and said nearly the exact same thing, and then Bryan made him tap out. Is Bryan trying to compare Barrett to Slater? Barrett is the man who took the NXT Season One misfits and molded them. Bryan assures Barrett didn’t mold him into anything. Bryan came out of Nexus to make a statement, and as soon as Barrett sensed a threat, Bryan was gone. They have done a lot in the last year, but Bryan won MitB and will main event Mania. Barrett drops him with a right hand and taunts him with the briefcase. Bryan grabs his arm and applies the LeBell Lock, forcing him to tap immediately.

In the back, Teddy Long is with Zack Ryder. Mark Henry comes into the picture and asks Long if he took care of that thing he asked for. After what Henry has done to Big Show, Kane and the audio technician, people just don’t want to deal with Henry. Ryder says he will find Henry an opponent, no problem. Ryder wants a fist pump from Long, but Long just ignores it.

We get a video package on Justin Gabriel going back to South Africa. Good stuff.

Match Two: AJ (2-3)/Kaitlyn (0-5)/Natalya (0-2) vs. Tamina (3-2)/Rosa Mendes (2-3)/Alicia Fox (3-1)
Tamina piefaces Natalya and Natalya answers back with a slap. Natalya tries for a crucifix and rolls her up for two. She catches a kick and tries for a Sharpshooter but Tamina pushes her away. Tamina connects with a Samoan drop and tags in Fox who covers for two. Fox legscissors her head but Natalya stands up on it and backs her into the corner. Natalya hits with a dropkick and tags in AJ who hits with a clothesline and headscissors. She connects with a running knee and covers for two. AJ back elbows Fox in the corner but misses a splash off the middle rope. Fox follows up with an axe kick for the win.
Winner: Tamina/Rosa Mendes/Alicia Fox in 2:00
Rating: ¾* (Some nice stuff from AJ who was really the only Diva to stand out here. Well, Fox looked good too. Hilarious bit at the end when Booker admits he sometimes wishes he had legs like the Divas for some reason.)

We get a video package on Mark Henry’s recent path of destruction.

Match Three: Mark Henry (3-6) vs. Bobby Howard (0-0)
Howard is very small and needs encouragement from Zack Ryder to get into the ring with Henry. Ryder tells him he could be Broski of the Week. Howard looks terrified and gets tree slammed at the bell. Henry hits the World’s Strongest Slam twice followed by a World’s Strongest Backbreaker for the win.
Winner: Mark Henry in 1:00
Rating: ½* (Good old fashioned squash match. Howard did a terrific job selling terror and took a good beating.)

Post-match, Mark Henry looks to give Bobby Howard the ankle/chair treatment, but Teddy Long runs down to the ring and stops him. Henry wants competition. Sheamus’ music hits and he enters the ring. If Long is looking for someone to fight Henry, he can do it. Henry is just big, and as he has said himself, bigger isn’t better. This reminds Sheamus of Irish King Brian Boru. Legend has it that Brian had an illegitimate son, and one day an angry fairy came along, tapped that bastard on the shoulder and turned him into a 425lb bag of crap. We get a “Sheamus” chant. Henry talks some trash, and Sheamus smacks him across the face. Henry charges, but gets sent over the top rope. At ringside, Henry tosses the top half of the steps in anger.

WWE Tag Team Champions David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty are seen in the back making their way to the ring for a title defense against The Usos.

Match Four: WWE Tag Team Championship- David Otunga© (0-0)/Michael McGillicutty© (0-0) vs. Jimmy Uso (3-1)/Jey Uso (3-2)
Otunga and McGillicutty have new entrance music. Jey gets a quick cover on McGillicutty before tagging in Jimmy. They hit double fist drops and Jimmy covers for two. McGillicutty gets a couple shots in and tags in Otunga who gets leg swept and covered for two. Otunga comes back with a boot but gets rolled up for two more. Jimmy charges the corner but eats a boot before getting choked on the middle rope. Cover gets two and Otunga applies a chinlock. Jimmy fights out and drops Otunga with a side kick. Both guys make tags and Jey unloads on McGillicutty before connecting with a charging back splash in the corner. He covers but Otunga breaks it up and gets tossed to the apron by Jimmy. Jey climbs to the top as Otunga throws Jimmy to the floor and rolls him back inside. Otunga calls for the ref to remove Jimmy from the ring and knocks Jey off the top as the ref has his back turned. McGillicutty capitalizes with a neckbreaker for the win.
Winner: David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty in 3:00 to retain the WWE Tag Team Championship
Rating: *1/2 (Match was nothing special, but the ending with Otunga causing a distraction was nice. Unfortunately, even after months of tagging together, I get no sense of personality or chemistry between our Tag Team Champions.)

In the back, Zack Ryder is back again! He proposes a two-on-one handicap match pitting Ezekiel Jackson against Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase. Teddy Long makes the matches around here, but Ryder says he talked to everybody involved and it’s cool.

Still to come, Randy Orton vs. R-Truth.

The Raw Rebound highlights Rey Mysterio winning the WWE Championship only to lose it to John Cena at the end of the night, setting up the return of CM Punk.

In the back, Matt Striker is with R-Truth. He feels good about his match with Randy Orton, and a good R-Truth is a bad R-Truth. He’s gonna be like a bunch of eagles swooping down on a snake. You have to step on a snake’s head and peel its skin back. The Viper is gonna get got.

Match Five: Handicap Match- Cody Rhodes (10-10)/Ted DiBiase (2-9) vs. Ezekiel Jackson (11-7)
DiBiase gets a go-behind and grabs a side headlock before kicking Zeke in the chest and tagging in Rhodes. Zeke knocks them both down but goes down to a chop block by Rhodes. Rhodes stomps away as DiBiase chokes him against the bottom rope. DiBiase applies a chinlock and hits a neckbreaker. He stomps in the corner but gets dropped across the top turnbuckle. Rhodes tags in and gets bodyslammed a few times. Zeke lifts him for the Torture Rack but DiBiase breaks it up. Zeke tosses DiBiase over the top and throws Rhodes to the corner. Zeke charges but Rhodes moves out of the way and hits Cross Rhodes for the win.
Winner: Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase in 3:00
Rating: * (This presumably leads to a Zeke vs. Rhodes match for the Intercontinental Championship. Zeke hasn’t had much of a run with the strap, and I think Rhodes could get a lot more out of it.)

We go back to the press box where Jinder Mahal speaks Hindi. He passes the mic to The Great Khali who repeats the same line over and over. The crowd chants “USA!”

Match Six: Randy Orton (13-4) vs. R-Truth (2-2)
They lockup and Orton grabs a side headlock. They do the over/under spot and Orton drops Truth with a shoulder. Truth comes back with strikes and floats over in the corner only to get knocked down with a clothesline for two. Orton drops a knee but misses. Truth connects with a kick and covers for two. Orton rolls to the outside but Truth follows and rams Orton into the barricade. Back inside, Truth gets distracted by the crowd and gets sent to the apron. Orton looks for a hanging DDT but Truth blocks it and snaps his neck across the top rope. Truth hits with a modified Stunner for two and Christian comes out onto the entrance stage as we go to commercial.

Back from break, Orton fights out of the corner with rights before going down to a twisting elbow attack. Cover gets two and Truth wraps Orton in the ropes. He snapmares Orton and applies a chinlock as Christian looks on. Orton fights out but goes back down to a back elbow. Cover gets two and Truth climbs to the top rope. He comes off but Orton catches him with a shot to the midsection. Orton gets a boot up on a charge and drops Truth with clotheslines and a snap powerslam. He continues with a hanging DDT and calls for an RKO. Truth avoids it by rolling to the outside. Orton follows but gets rammed into the apron. Christian distracts the ref and Truth smashes a water bottle over Orton’s head. Truth rolls back in and tells the ref to count Orton out. Orton wakes up and drinks the water from the bottle. Back in, he tackles Truth and mounts with punches. Orton rolls back out and grabs a chair. He hits Truth with it to signal the disqualification.
Winner: R-Truth in 11:00 via Disqualification
Rating: **1/2 (Pretty slow moving when Truth was in control, but it picked up towards the end. Orton has one of the better comeback sequences in the WWE. The finish continues to put over the fact that Orton has anger issues, so the DQ makes sense.)

Post-match, Randy Orton continues attacking R-Truth with the chair as Christian looks on from the stage. Orton pauses for a bit before readying the announce table. He knocks Truth out with a monitor to the head before RKOing him on the table. He starts to walk away but eventually looks back and asks the crowd if they want one more. He does it a second time to end the show. I don’t know what it is, but that table never breaks for Orton.

(Very hit or miss show. The wrestling, for the most part, was below average, but a lot of the promo work was very good. The inclusion of the Raw guys gave the show a different vibe, giving us something other than the same group of guys that dominate Smackdown every week. However, other than the Christian/John Morrison match, I can say I’d rather they go back to the usual. Speaking of Raw guys, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention Zack Ryder. The man FINALLY has a role on television as an assistant to Teddy Long, and it got off to a great start this week. The two differing personalities should make for some entertaining television every week. Elsewhere, it seems as though they have shifted Sheamus from a feud with Wade Barrett to Mark Henry. I was looking forward to what Sheamus and Barrett could do together, but I suppose the shift is to make Sheamus the more clear-cut babyface against Henry. Barrett on the other hand may be getting into a program with Daniel Bryan. Staying with former Nexus members, I want to point out the effectiveness of the Justin Gabriel video. It showed a different side of Gabriel, and I have a good feeling about his character getting over as a face.)