411’s WWE Smackdown Report 09.10.10

Hello and welcome to the WWE Smackdown Report. Last week, Kane delivered a “Major Announcement” which turned out to be neither major nor even an announcement; CM Punk G2Sed Luke Gallows, presumably out of the SES; and Christian bickered with Alberto Del Rio in a piñata infested ring.

In order to change things up a little bit, I have dug into the 2010 Smackdown archives and recorded the Win/Loss record of every current Smackdown superstar. Here are a few guidelines:

– These records only reflect matches that have taken place on Smackdown or Pay-Per-View.
– Matches that end or have ended in a No Contest are not counted.
– In the case of Tag Team matches, each member of the losing team gets a Loss and each member of the winning team gets a Win.
– In the case of multi-man matches, every participant besides the winner gets a Loss.
– Some wrestlers will have a third number in their record. This number represents matches that have ended in a Draw.

Side Note: The next time there are small samples of food in a segment, I will refer to them as “appetizers.”

After a video recapping the latest from the Undertaker/Kane saga, Smackdown opens with the usual Let It Roll and pyro. We are on a 72-hour tape delay from Baltimore, Maryland!

Later tonight, The Undertaker returns to action against CM Punk.

Dong! The lights go out and Undertaker appears in the middle of the ring. Fire shoots from atop the entrance ramp. Kane has always been a disturbed freak of nature. Taker had to protect him so many times in the past. That said, he will have no regrets doing what he has to do at Night of Champions. Kane attacked Taker like a coward, leaving him beaten, battered and unconscious. Doing this gave Kane a false sense of confidence; he now thinks he has the momentum and power on his side. Make no mistake, that power belongs to Taker. At Night of Champions, Kane will receive some unpleasant memories. Kane will always remember the night his brother took back the World Heavyweight Championship and ended his reign of terror. When that night finally comes, Taker knows they will unleash everything they have on one another- He can’t wait. In a fight of that magnitude, there are no rules that can contain them. No rules will be able to stop them. So, at Night of Champions, the fight must be No Holds Barred. What do you say, Kane?…

Which brings out a hand-clapping CM Punk. Punk begs everyone to give Taker a standing ovation and bask in Taker’s glory. Deadman, this is your moment. A moment you’ve earned. Punk knows that after Night of Champions, these people will never see Taker again. Punk enjoys a good sibling rivalry. Nothing makes Punk happier than seeing Taker on his own personal downward spiral. All Punk sees is a broken down man who has had one too many fights; a man who has bitten off way more than he can chew. However, when Taker looks a Punk, he sees his next victim. Punk doesn’t think Taker’s threats have any panache behind them anymore. When Punk beats Taker, he will be sending everyone a message, including his Night of Champion’s opponent, Big Show. Nothing can compare to the power of Straight- Edge. Taker thinks Punk can try, but the results will still be the same- He will fail. Punk remembers making Taker pass out, even when Taker was at 100%. Imagine what Punk will do when Taker is nowhere near that. Taker knows, Punk will rest in peace.

Match One: Jack Swagger (7-14-1) vs. MVP (7-8)

A go-behind and takedown by Swagger to start. He clubs the sides of the head with his forearms then sends MVP to the corner. Swagger charges but MVP floats over and hits a clothesline. MVP connects with a jab and kick followed by a suplex. He pounds away but the ref breaks it up. MVP with a kick to the side of the head sends Swagger to the outside. Back inside, MVP hits two rolling Germans but the third is blocked. Swagger bounces off the ropes but gets hit with a drop toe hold and a knee to the back of the head. Cover gets two. MVP charges at Swagger in the corner but Swagger stops it with a clothesline. Irish whip sends MVP to the corner, chest first. Swagger follows with two splashes. Cover gets two. Swagger applies a shoulder stretch as we go to commercial.

Back from break, MVP hits with a back elbow and some strikes but soon goes down with a boot to the face. Running, Leaping Swagger Bomb is countered with a pair of knees. Swagger retreats and charges but MVP catches him with an overhead throw. MVP hits with a running boot in the corner that gets two. MVP sends Swagger to run the ropes and connects with a flapjack and a pair of clotheslines. A throat strike and facebuster sets up Ballin’. Back up, MVP attempts to grab Swagger but Swagger rolls out of the ring. MVP follows and Swagger dropkicks the steel steps into MVP’s legs. Swagger wraps MVP’s leg around the ring post forcefully. Back inside, Swagger takes out the leg from behind and locks in the anklelock for the quick tap-out win.

Winner: Jack Swagger in 8:00

Rating: ** (Solid stuff, but Swagger never targeted the ankle prior to the steel step spot. That kind of came out of nowhere. Hopefully, both men can move on to some more productive stuff.)

In the back, Lay-Cool is with Kaval. They mock Teddy Long and argue about who is going to face Melina at Night of Champions. Kaval tries to restore the sanity by mentioning that tonight is his first night on Smackdown. He mocks Lay-Cool’s whining voices which pisses them off. This leads to Lay-Cool imitating Kaval’s monotone voice and saying he would not be here had it not been for them. Kaval leaves.

Coming up next, the Family History of The Undertaker and Kane.

After a recap of the first episode of NXT Season 3, we get a video package detailing the history between The Undertaker and Kane. Basically, there were sound-bites from their recent promos overlaid with images, past and present, of both.

Later tonight, The Undertaker vs. CM Punk.

In the back, Matt Hardy makes his way to the ring.

Match Two: Alberto Del Rio (2-0) vs. Matt Hardy (5-16)

Del Rio comes out to the usual awesomeness while Hardy comes out limping. Perception is reality folks. Lockup to start and Del Rio ends up in the corner. He escapes with a low kick to the leg and another to the back. Hardy reverses an Irish whip with one of his own and hits a bulldog out of the corner that gets two. Del Rio sends Hardy running, but he holds onto the ropes. Del Rio charges but Hardy moves away sending Del Rio through the ropes and to the outside. Hardy hits with two boots through the ropes. “V-One-ahhh.” So he is trying to bring that back. Outside, Hardy slams Del Rio’s face on the apron and rolls him back in. Hardy stands on the apron but Del Rio catches him with an enzuigiri that sends him back outside as we go to commercial.

Back from break, Del Rio has a chinlock applied. Hardy tries to fight it off but Del Rio slams him down. Del Rio presses Hardy’s throat against the middle rope with his knee and follows up with a spinebuster. Cover gets two. Back to the chinlock. Hardy eventually fights it off and goes for a sunset flip off the ropes and gets two. Dare I say it, but I think Hardy has been listening to Cody Rhodes. He looks thinner. Del Rio comes back with a kick to the back. Cover gets two. Now he pressures Hardy’s throat against the bottom rope. Back up, a bodyslam gets two for Del Rio. Another chinlock. Hardy gets out of it with some punches but Del Rio puts a stop to it with a kick to the gut. Del Rio bounces off the ropes but gets caught with a pair of clothesline and a Side Effect. Cover gets two. Hardy connects with three clotheslines in the corner and attempts another bulldog but is countered with a kick to the gut. Hardy reverses a bodyslam and drops an elbow that gets two. Hardy hits a bodyslam before heading to the top and connecting with a moonsault, which he overshoots. Del Rio kicks out at two. Del Rio with a float over in the corner but Hardy is still able to get him in position for a Twist of Fate. Del Rio reverses, sending him into the corner chest first. Del Rio starts going to the top but Hardy stops him. Hardy attempts a superplex but Del Rio grabs his arm and yanks it down across the top rope. Back in, Del Rio sends Hardy into the corner shoulder-first and locks in the cross armbreaker for the win.

Winner: Alberto Del Rio in 11:00

Rating: **1/4 (Good match that got a little repetitive in the middle with Del Rio resorting to the chinlock. Hardy, in particular, looked good, even in defeat. From where I was watching, he held the match together.)

Post-match, Christian makes the save as Del Rio was about to continue the attack on Hardy’s arm. Del Rio retreats and calls Christian an American-naco again.

Match Three: Drew McIntyre (13-17-1) vs. Kaval (0-0)

Kaval comes out without Lay-Cool. His entrance music is pretty cool by the way, not the “generic rock” Daniel Bryan got stuck with. Lockup to start and McIntyre powers Kaval into the corner. The ref pulls him away giving Kaval a chance to get a kick in. McIntyre comes back by powering him back into the corner and connecting with a right hand. Irish whip sends Kaval to another corner. McIntyre charges but Kaval is able to get his legs up onto his shoulders and kick him away. Kaval flies out of the corner with a kick to the chest that gets two. McIntyre is able to suplex Kaval onto the apron who lands on his feet and responds with a slap to the face. He goes for a springboard but McIntyre knocks him out of the ring. Outside, McIntyre hits a sick suplex onto the apron. Back inside, a cover gets two. McIntyre locks in his favorite shoulder stretch before attempting another suplex which gets blocked with a quick knee to the top of the head. Kaval continues with kicks to the gut and the back of the head. Kaval charges at McIntyre in the corner but ends up being perched on the top rope. Doesn’t matter, he comes back with a nice kick to the back of the head off the top rope. Cover gets two. Kaval heads to the top again but McIntyre rolls to the outside. Instead, he climbs off onto the apron and connects with a boot to the chest then attempts a seated senton which McIntyre catches. Powerbomb into the barricade! That was sick. McIntyre brings Kaval back in and connects with a Future Shock DDT for the win.

Winner: Drew McIntyre in 4:00

Rating: ** (About as good a four-minute match you can have. I guess they didn’t want to have back-to-back impactful Smackdown debuts with Del Rio’s taking place just a few weeks ago.)

Post-match, Lay-Cool come to Kaval’s aide.

Woah-Ohh! Where were your tips last week Cody? I didn’t know what to do with myself in the grooming department. This week he teaches us about clean, smooth skin and facials. I might be wrong, but I think they already did one similar to this with an avocado mask.

Excuse me! Excuse me! Guess who comes out? Vickie Guerrero makes her NXT rookie, Kaitlyn, introduce her. Not satisfied, she grabs the mic away from her and introduces her boyfriend, Dolph Ziggler.

Match Four: Dolph Ziggler (14-14-1)/Chavo Guerrero (0-5) vs. Kofi Kingston (12-7)/Chris Masters (1-3)

During the introductions, Striker announces that at Night of Champions, it will be Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston. If Ziggler gets disqualified or counted out, he loses the Intercontinental Championship. Ziggler and Masters to start. Ziggler grabs the leg but Masters powers him off and follows up with a clothesline and a press slam. Cover gets two. Ziggler knees him away and tags in Guerrero. Masters tries to lock in the Masterlock but Guerrero breaks it up in the ropes. Masters attacks Ziggler on the apron allowing Guerrero to take out the leg from behind and tag in Ziggler. Ziggler continues the attack on the leg with stomps. Masters is able to make the hot tag (one minute into the match) to Kingston who hits a high springboard chop. Two more chops and a dropkick send Ziggler to the corner. Kingston charges and connects with a series of mounted punches. He rolls off and Ziggler is able to kick him away. Double clotheslines send both men to the mat. Ziggler tags in Guerrero but the ref doesn’t see it. They usually do that with the babyface team. In all the confusion, Kingston hits Trouble in Paradise for the win.

Winner: Kofi Kingston/Chris Masters in 3:00

Rating: * (The only purpose this served was to get Kingston some momentum heading into Night of Champions. I also didn’t mind Kaitlyn at ringside, she’s awful purty.)

Still to come, The Undertaker vs. CM Punk.

Grisham and Striker run down the Night of Champions card, updated with Big Show vs. CM Punk in a “special attraction” match. By the way, why are they still calling it a Six-Pack Challenge?

In the back, Big Show, complete with his goofy looking headband, imitates Josh Matthews and interviews himself. Kelly Kelly comes into the picture and calls Show a nerd. Matthews follows, looking for his microphone. Kelly tells Show to give Matthews his mic back, which was shoved into his armpit. Matthews looks disgusted. I guess that replaced another Hornswoggle/Teddy Long segment. It’s gotta suck being the 2nd-string comedy segment.

Match Five: CM Punk (9-15) vs. The Undertaker (4-2)

Punk comes out with Gallows and Mercury but sends them away on the entrance ramp. Not the usual Taker opening sequence tonight as the rapid fire strikes were missing. Taker goes for a weak looking right hand in the corner which Punk easily dodges. Taker misses yet another as Punk connects with a low kick. He gets in three more, but Taker quickly puts him down with a right. In the corner, Taker wraps Punk’s arm around the top rope and slugs away. Back up, he wrenches the arm and hits some shoulderblocks and a leg drop on the arm that gets him a one count. Taker hammerlocks the arm and sends it into the turnbuckle. Another arm wrench and Taker goes up top for some Old School but he doesn’t have the balance he once had after being in a comatose state! So he gets crotched on the top rope. Punk then charges with a dropkick that sends Taker to the floor as we go to commercial.

Back from break, Punk is in charge with some shoulderblocks of his own. You don’t like it, do you Taker? Cover gets one. Punk wraps his legs around Taker’s throat and puts elbows to his head. Back up, a punch sends Taker to the outside. Punk follows and rams him into the barricade, pounding away. Punk tries to send Taker back in but Taker fights it off. Punk comes back with some strikes to the head and rolls in to break the count. Back out, Taker hits with an uppercut and lays Punk across the apron. After some elbows across the head, Taker connects with a leg drop. Vintage! Taker sells his weakness outside before heading back in. Once inside, he charges at the corner but misses as Punk is able to connect with an enzuigiri that gets two. Punk applies a keylock and elbows Taker’s head. Cover gets two. Punk sinks in a chinlock. Taker eventually fights it off with a teardrop suplex. Taker runs the ropes and misses an elbow drop. Punk charges at Taker in the corner with a high knee and hits a bulldog that gets two. Back up, Taker and Punk trade blows with Taker getting the advantage. Taker headbutts Punk in the corner and sends him to the opposite corner with an Irish whip. He hits Snake Eyes but gets caught with a kick while attempting his big boot. Punk goes for a springboard but gets caught with a chokeslam. Cover gets two. Taker signals for the Tombstone but Punk reverses into a G2S. Punk goes for the cover but Taker locks in Hells Gate for the tap-out win.

Winner: The Undertaker in 15:00

Rating: **3/4 (Good story to the match with Punk taking advantage of Taker not being totally there. It did not suffer from the same repetitiveness as the Del Rio/Hardy match before. That was thanks to Punk’s usage of different rest/submission holds in the middle portion of the match as opposed to the overused chinlock. Taker looked good for the most part, and it’s pretty clear that the slower-than-usual start was to sell the fact that Taker was not at 100%.)

Post-match, Taker does his down-on-one-knee celebration as Kane’s corner post pyro goes off. We hear his maniacal laughter as the show goes off the air.