411’s WWE Smackdown Report: 3.10.06

Well, unfortunately, I screwed up taping Smackdown and missed the first 45 minutes or so. I got beginning in the middle of the Regal-Burchill match, so I’ll just go from after that match on.

Booker T and Sharmell are shown walking to the ring. They get scared by a stagehand on the way.

Earlier tonight, Mark Henry called out Kurt Angle. Angle complied, Orton ran in, and Rey Mysterio made the save. This sets up a tag match for later tonight.

Booker T and Sharmell head down to the ring. Sharmell starts by saying that they’re outraged. Theodore Long and The Boogeyman are both to blame. They have a sack of letters with complaints about The Boogeyman. One from the NAACP says that The Boogeyman is a bad role model for minority children. One from PETA says that he’s cruel to worms (who have feelings, too). One from Worms Digest confirms that. The President’s Council on Physical Fitness says that eating worms is bad. Booker calls out Teddy Long, asking him what he’s going to do about the problem. Long appears on the big screen and makes Booker-Boogeyman for Saturday Night’s Main Event. Booker continues to pull letters out of the bag until it starts to smoke. He drops it, and worms fall out. The Boogeyman heads out of the entrance, so Booker and Sharmell run out through the crowd.

Sensational Sherri’s Hall of Fame video is aired.

Jillian Hall versus Krystal Marshall

Jillian attacks Krystal to start, then throws her across the ring by the hair. This is a “Divas Uncovered” match, which basically means bra and panties. Krystal hits a crossbody, but Jillian pulls her top off. Krystal gets a spear, and we get some roll-around catfighting. Jillian kicks Krystal in the corner, then whips her across the ring. Krystal dodges a charge, but Jillian retains the advantage. Krystal pulls Jillian’s skirt off with a sunset flip. Jillian hits a bodyslam and goes for the skirt, but Krystal blocks. Jillian goes for another slam, but Krystal manages to roll her over and pull off her top. Krystal takes her skirt off after the match.

Winner: Krystal Marshall
Match Time: 2:12
Rating: *
Commentary: Well, it’s a plus to see Jillian in action, so the match wasn’t a waste in that regard.

Clips of Batista at the Arnold Classic are shown. Batista meets up with Schwarzenegger, and it’s one former champ talking to another.

Chris Benoit versus Gregory Helms

Should be a good’un. Benoit tries to smack Helms’s face to start. Helms tries to get away, protecting his broken nose. Lockup, and Benoit backs Helms into the corner. Helms hits a knee and reverses, hitting punches and kicks. Benoit grabs him by the nose, then hits several chops and a backdrop. Snap Suplex by Benoit, but Helms fights back with kicks. Benoit hits a Dragon Screw and goes for the Sharpshooter, but Helms throws him off. Benoit chops Helms down, but Helms gets a drop toe hold and a legdrop. Helms gets a neckbreaker, then applies an around-the-arm headlock. Benoit reverses a whip and tries for the Sharpshooter again, but no dice. Helms drops a low legdrop for two. He hits the chinlock, tempting litigation from Randy Orton. Benoit gets up and rolls Helms off. Helms hits a nice clothesline, taking Benoit down. Helms punches Benoit in the corner. Benoit rolls out of a slam and hits a German Suplex. Benoit hits several forearm shots, then a running forearm. Helms hits the Nightmare on Helms Street for two. Benoit ducks the Shining Wizard, hooks the legs, and puts on the Sharpshooter. Helms manages to get to the rope. He rolls out of the ring and turns tail, but a bunch of Cruiserweights head him off at the pass and roll him back into the ring. Benoit hits a German Suplex, goes up top, and hits the Diving Headbutt. The Crossface follows and finishes (with Benoit putting extra pressure on the nose).

Winner: Chris Benoit
Match Time: 6:24
Rating: ***1/4
Commentary: Really good, hard-hitting stuff. I’ve been watching Helms since 1999, and I knew he was a great high-flier, but I didn’t know he had this sort of tough guy shit in him.

The Matt Hardy-Animal stuff from last week is shown. This leads to an interview with a non-painted Animal. He insults Hawk for not being a team player, calls Heidenreich an even bigger screwup, and then runs down Hardy. He accepts Hardy’s challenge for next week. I guess it wouldn’t be Smackdown if they didn’t insult a dead man.

Earlier tonight, Finlay and Lashley fought everywhere!

Kurt Angle and Rey Mysterio versus Randy Orton and Mark Henry

Angle and Orton start out batting hands. Orton backs off, then comes back in. He dodges a shoot by Angle, but Angle sends him into the corner. They back out, and Angle gets a single leg takedown. He grabs a headlock. Orton shoots him off, but Angle comes back with a shoulder for two. Tag to Rey, who comes in with a springboard on Orton’s arm. Rey ducks a clothesline, but Orton kicks him. Rey springs up in the corner and hits a headscissors. He whips Rey again, but Rey grabs the ropes and gets a drop toe hold. Henry saves Orton from the 619 as we go to a commercial. When we return, Rey hits repeated shoulders to Orton, then a mounted punch against the turnbuckle. Rey tries to go up top, but Daivarai grabs his leg. By the time Rey comes off, Orton is able to hit him in the gut with a dropkick. Orton tags Henry, who stomps away on Rey. Henry gets a headbutt, then chokes Rey. He tags Orton back in, who hits several kneedrops, then punches for two. Tag to Henry, who hits a clubbing blow, then steps on Rey. Tag back to Orton, who kicks Rey in the guy and bends him back around the ropes. Tag to Henry, who stomps on Rey’s head. Rey kicks Henry in the chest, then comes off the second rope with a crossbody. Henry catches him and hits a press slam. Rey dodges a splash and hits an enziguri kick. Tags on both sides, and Angle goes nuts. German on Randy, and the straps come down. Angle Slam blocked, RKO blocked, Ankle Lock applied, Henry makes the save. Angle this a back elbow on Henry and tags Rey, who gets a springboard dropkick on Henry. 619 on Orton, and Henry makes the save after a springboard senton. Angle runs in and takes Orton outside. Henry stands on Mysterio, then throws the referee to the corner and splashes him. Daivari pulls out a table and Henry lays Rey across it. Henry climbs to the second turnbuckle, but Angle runs in and pulls Rey off the table. Angle tries to throw Henry through the table, but Orton saves and hits the RKO on Angle. Orton puts Angle on the table, and Henry jumps off, putting him straight through.

Winners: No Contest
Match Time: about 15:00
Rating: ***
Commentary: Decent tag stuff. I’m not a big fan of non-finishes, but it worked this time, and it’s not like they do it too often.

Post-match, the lights go out. Taker’s voice challenges Mark Henry to a casket match at WrestleMania. Henry is ready.

Not a bad show. Not like last week’s, but the Helms-Benoit match was worth the price of admission.