411’s WWE Smackdown Report 4.14.05

Thursday, April 14, 2005 is today. SmackDown! is on Thursday, so that must mean that’s what this is. Let’s get to it from the Allstate Arena in Chicago, IL. The commentary comes from Michael Cole and Tazz as always.

Tonight, John Cena will present his new championship belt.

JBL is here once again to begin the show, and he is out to second the United States Champion Orlando Jordan.

Orlando Jordan vs. Booker T

Orlando blindsides Booker to begin and has him on the ropes. He gets in some elbows and punches Booker down then chokes him with his boot. Irish whip and Jordan catches Booker with a back elbow and gets the Johnson Shuffle to once again knock down the former 5 Time WCW Champion. Booker T comes back with chops and a clothesline and gets a pair of sidekicks to take Jordan down, but the match is thrown out when the Bashams run interference, but the Big Show makes a beeline to the ring and clears it.

Booker T and Orlando Jordan fight to a No Contest – 1:41

Theodore R. Long comes out and makes it a Handicap match.

Handicap Match
Booker T & Big Show vs. Orlando Jordan & The Bashams

Big Show goes for a chokeslam on Orlando, but the Bashams break it up and clothesline him out of the ring, but Booker T gains control inside. He kicks Doug out of the ring where Big Show gets a spear, and he gets a leg lariat on Danny and the Spin-a-Roonie leads to the Scissors Kick for the pin.

Booker T & Big Show def. Orlando Jordan & The Bashams via Pinfall – 1:25

Coming up next, Torrie Wilson goes one-on-one with Dawn Marie.

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Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie

Dawn gets a knee and plants Torrie face first into the mat multiple times. She catapults Torrie into the turnbuckle and chokes Torrie on the ropes. Irish whip and Torrie gets a sunset flip for 2 and they do the pinfall reversals and both get a couple 2 counts. Dawn gets the X-Factor for a pair or 2 counts. Irish whip into the corner, but Torrie hops over and gets a school girl rollup for 2 and a swinging neckbreaker ends it.

Torrie Wilson def. Dawn Marie via Pinfall – 2:27

Coming up next it will be the first edition of “Carlito’s Cabana” with special guest Rey Mysterio.

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The WrestleMania Revenge Tour was in Australia this past week.

Piper’s Pit? Chris Jericho’s Highlight Reel? That’s not cool. Carlito’s Cabana? That’s Cool! The ring is set up like a beach, even the canvas has a rug that looks like sand and the ocean. Awesome. Carlito says that Chicago is not cool. The Cubs haven’t won a World Series in almost 100 Years, and they’re called the “Lovable Losers”, just like Carlito’s first guest, who, although he is one half of the tag champs, he lost big in the Championship Series. It is Rey Mysterio. Carlito shows a clip of Rey’s loss last week. Rey is furious about what Eddy did, and he hasn’t even talked to him since last week, but Carlito isn’t the only one trying to stir things up between the champs, and Rey will tell Carlito what he’s told everyone else, and that is that Eddy is familia. He looks at Eddy like a big brother, and they’ll work out their problems. Rey says that he will get another chance and will become WWE Champion. Carlito tells Rey that Eddy is jealous of him, and he feels that things are about to get a whole lot worse for Rey. All of a sudden, Joey Matthews and Johnny Nitro along with Melina, MNM, interrupt, full with paparazzi and a red carpet, and Carlito say that he doesn’t know who they are, but “you guys are cool!”. Melina introduces her tag team as Nitro and Mercury, MNM, and they will take the Tag Team Titles. Rey insults Melina’s breath and Nitro and Mercury attack, beating the shit out of Rey.

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JBL is in the back yelling at his Cabinet, and he puts them in their place, and blames them for losing his WWE Championship. They better shape up or they will be cut loose. JBL walks into a delivery man, and he bribes him into giving him the package that is for John Cena.

Rey is in back with the doctor, and Eddy rushes in, and he’s pissed. Rey wants Eddy to leave him alone, and he wants to know where Eddy was when Rey needed him. They’re both almost in tears, and Rey wants to know how Eddy will make it all up to him, and he says that tonight Eddy will beat Kurt Angle and soon become the next WWE Champion, and he will dedicate it all to Rey.

Up next is John Cena’s Championship Presentation, if he has the belt, that is.

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Tonight, Eddy Guerrero meets Kurt Angle in the second match of the Championship Series.

The Champ is Here, and everybody seems to be gunning for him. He wants JBL to bring out his package, but if he won’t bring it out, Cena will just have to come and get it, so here comes JBL. JBL brings out that infamous garbage can, and the box that he intercepted before the break follows. JBL has the old WWE Championship belt around his waist, and the fans know that JBL is the true champion. JBL opens the box, and he puts his hands in there, and inside the box is something that he knows that JBL doesn’t have – guts. He pours the slaughterhouse gut box over JBL’s head , and Layfield is incredulous. The new WWE Championship belt comes down from the rafters and Cena displays it. The WWE logo spins, and the plates are covered in gold and diamonds.

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Heidenreich vs. Someone, it seems

Heidenreich backs him into the corner, and he tries to punch out to no avail. He dodges a charge at the other corner and runs into a big boot, as Heidenreich yells “that’s what friends are for” before punching the guy down. He whips the guy into the corner and follows with a clothesline. Another punch knocks him to one knee and Heidenreich comes off the ropes with a boot to the side of the head. Irish whip leads into the Bossman Slam for the win.

Heidenreich wins his match via Pinfall – 2:18

Heidenreich wants everyone to be his friend, and since they are in the Windy City, he wants to present a poem about breaking wind to all of his friends.

Blowing farts out my ass,
Like breezes blow through the grass.
I like the feel of when I fart;
It makes me smile,
And warms my heart.

Booker T is in the back with Sharmell, and Booker is taking some publicity shots. Kurt Angle interrupts, and he says he’s on a roll. He’s going to go on to beat John Cena for the title after winning the series, and that Booker is looking at the soon-to-be 5 time WWE Champion. Sharmell makes fun of Kurt and breaks out “Now Can You Dig That, Sucka?”, and Kurt is speechless.

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Wonderfully enough, WWE would like to announce the 2005 RAW Diva Search, as my exuberance flies from my body with whimsical glee.

Paul London is out to speak. He needed 18 staples to close the cut in his head from his first title defense last week. The doctors won’t let him wrestle tonight, but he wants a fight, and he’s calling out Chavo Guerrero. Chavo makes his way to ringside with a microphone, and says that London stole that belt from him and has never defeated Guerrero one-on-one. Chavo’s business is the Cruiserweight Title, and he is the greatest Cruiserweight of all time, according to himself. He says that the second that London is 100%, he will take back his CW Championship. Being a man of honor, he would never fight an injured man, and at that, Billy Kidman jumps London from behind, but he takes care of Kidman and stops Chavo from interfering with a Dropsault and hits the 450 Splash on Kidman.

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Up next it is the second match of the Championship Series. Kurt Angle will take on Eddy Guerrero.

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A video recaps last week’s match between Rey Mysterio and JBL, and next week it is Booker T and the Big Show one-on-one at Madison Square Garden.

Kurt Angle vs. Eddy Guerrero

Lockup starts and Kurt backs Eddy into the ropes and gets a clean break. Eddy gets a fireman’s carry into an armbar, but Kurt gets a headscissors on Eddy. Eddy comes up but gets taken down with a shoulder block, and they lock up in the corner. Another clean break and they circle each other. Another lockup and Kurt grabs an arm and works it. Eddy kips up and reverses into a cross armbreaker, but Kurt puts his shoulders down for 2. Eddy gets a side headlock and Kurt throws him off the ropes and Eddy gets a shoulder block and a hip toss on Angle, who takes a break on the outside of the ring. Back inside Kurt comes back with a headlock takeover, and Eddy gets out but takes a shoulder block, but gets a hip toss and an armdrag on Kurt and holds the arm. Angle goes behind but Eddy gets out with an elbow and gets the Three Amigos and goes right up to the top turnbuckle, but Kurt moves away from the Frog Splash, but Eddy anticipates it and rolls through as Kurt takes another breather on the outside.

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Kurt hits a pair of European uppercuts to take Eddy down and gets one more, then backs Eddy into the corner and hammers him down as we return from the break. Kurt gets a vertical suplex and floats over for a 2 count and holds Guerrero in a seated Bearhug. Eddy gets out with some elbows but runs into an overhead belly-to-belly suplex, but Eddy counters the Angle Slam with a hurricanrana for a near fall. The ref gets knocked down and Eddy makes his way out of the ring for a chair, and he tosses it to Kurt, who tosses it back, but Eddy tosses it to Kurt and Eddy lies down, but Kurt throws it out of the ring. Eddy gets a schoolboy for 2, followed by a couple clotheslines and a tilt-a-whirl headscissors, but Kurt pops off a quick German suplex for 2. Kurt gets a backbreaker for a pair of 2 counts as Eddy gets his foot on the rope. Kurt gets a snapmare into a full body scissors with his legs and works his forearm into Guerrero’s face on the mat. Eddy breaks it with some elbows and comes out with an Irish whip into the corner, but misses a charge and gets taken down with another German suplex, but Angle only gets another 2 count. Kurt sits Eddy on the top rope and attempts an Angle Slam, but Eddy pushes him off and goes for the Frog Splash, but Kurt gets his knees up, and that gets a 2 count before Eddy puts a foot on the bottom rope.

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Kurt gets a scoop slam on Guerrero and gets a pair of 2 counts and locks in the seated Bearhug once again. Eddy stands and Kurt goes for the Angle Slam again, but Guerrero counters into a DDT and both men are down. It’s a slugfest as they both throw hands, and Eddy gets the better of it. He looks for the Three Amigos again, but only gets 2 suplexes before Kurt reverses into the Angle Slam, but it only gets him 2. Eddy gets a small package for 2 and an Irish whip into the corner, and a schoolboy gets 2. Angle is up and gets the rolling Germans, but Guerrero kicks out at 2. Another Angle Slam attempt is met with an armdrag from Guerrero, and he hits the Three Amigos for a second time and heads to the top rope and nails the Frog Splash, but Kurt kicks out at 2. Kurt comes out of nowhere with the Ankle Lock, but Eddy gets out and gets another rollup with his feet in the ropes, but Kurt kicks out. He finally gets the Ankle Lock, but the ref gets knocked out of the ring, and Kurt goes to grab a chair, but Rey Mysterio runs out and stops him with the springboard Seated Senton and takes the chair. Eddy turns around and sees Rey with the chair and cowers in fear, but as Rey tries to explain, Kurt pushes Rey into Eddy with the chair sandwiched between them, and that is enough for Kurt to get the pinfall to advance.

Kurt Angle def. Eddy Guerrero via Pinfall – 25:40

Kurt walks out of the arena victorious as we hear Eddy yelling at Rey.