411’s WWE Superstars Report 09.29.11

Commentators: SmackDown; Jack Korpela & Matt Striker Raw; Scott Stanford & Josh Matthews

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Championship’s roll call: WWE Champion: John Cena… World Champion: Mark Henry… Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes… United States Champion: Dolph Ziggler… Tag Team Champions: Air Boom… Diva’s Champion: Kelly Kelly… Internet Champion: Zack Ryder

I’m watching the MLB playoffs (Go Brewers) and TBS is using Written in the Stars as the theme… now that damn song will be stuck in my head all October!

Daniel Bryan vs. Trent Barreta:   This is a unique babyface match; it should be good as well. Bryan takes him down with a wastelock and rides him around until Barreta escapes. Bryan works the arm now and they battle on the mat; Barreta luchas his way into a hurracanrana, which surprises Bryan, Barreta then lunges at him in the corner with a flying forearm and then applies a chinlock. Bryan counters with a back suplex, which Barreta flips out of, and then he runs the ropes; Bryan reverses and Barreta gets one too many leapfrogs and Bryan picks him out of the air with an ankle lock takedown. Bryan hits the rocking Mexican surfboard, the fans don’t “whoa, whoa, whoa” with him yet, if he did that more consistently (i.e., EVERY match) they’d start to. Bryan gets some kicks in and gets two; he applies an armlock and stretches Barreta into a nearfall. Barreta tries to speed things up but Bryan slows them back down with a European uppercut; Bryan applies a Stretch Muffler but Barreta makes the ropes. Bryan breaks the hold on the referee’s two count even though HE HAS ‘TILL FIVE! Bryan continues the arm work and applies a variant of the Crippler Crossface. Barreta momentums Bryan to the floor and then hits a somersault plancha. He heads to the top again but Bryan ducks the move and hits a rotating release German suplex… No, wait, actually, Barreta actually landed on his feet and then connects with the Gobstopper knee for a nearfall. Barreta chops away in the corner and tosses Bryan cross-corner but he flips off the top rope. Never to be outdone in the aerial department, Barreta quickly runs to the top, and immediately follows up with a moonsault press for two. Bryan counters the Dudebuster DDT and immediately slaps on the guillotine vise and gets a tap out. Post-match, Bryan grabs the briefcase and looks at it… foreshadowing? 6/10 Good match, a bit short; I’d like to see what these two can do with a twelve minute commercial break main event match on Superstars. Bryan’s SmackDown losing streak better not end up with him cashing in the MitB briefcase at an opportune moment as opposed to WrestleMania because that would make him look like the weakest MitB champion ever.

Here is your winner… Daniel Bryan @ about 8:40 via guillotine vise submission.

Brian Thomas vs. Brodus Clay:   Time for YOUR weekly Clay squash. Thomas looks like a skinny Robert Roode. Thomas gets one kick in and then Clay clubs him down. He powerslam drops him and then hits an exploder suplex. A belly-to-belly suplex gets the weekly pull up at two. Avalanche and the Fall of Humanity gets three. 0.5/10 If these squashes were longer than a minute I could cut and paste them to save time.

Here is your winner… Brodus Clay @ about 1:00 via the usual.

Chickbusters vs. Bella Twins:   The Bellas have changes their ring attire to full length black spandex. Approved. Kaitlyn starts off with Nikki; Kaitlyn powers her into the babyface corner and slams her. AJ tags in and they hit a tandem splash move for two. AJ hits a running dropkick and then they hit a double team corner clothesline into a backbreaker. Brie runs in and distracts Kaitlyn allowing Nikki to kick her to the floor where Brie rams her into the apron. Nikki chokes Kaitlyn against the ropes and Brie adds a kick from the corner. Nikki tags in legally and the Bellas double up on her. One of the Bellas whips Kaitlyn into the corner where the other Bella is waiting with a knee. Nikki (because Brie is shouting her name from the apron) applies a reverse choke but Kaitlyn stands up and squashes her in the corner to break the grip and then hits a sidewalk slam. AJ tags and leaps off the top with a crossbody and then dropkicks Brie off the apron. She hits a roundhouse kick which draws Brie into the ring; Kaitlyn takes her out and deposits her onto the floor with a fireman’s carry. Nikki uses the distraction to sidestep a charging AJ and hits the Bella Buster (X-Factor) for three. 2/10 The usual diva mess; AJ has talent but is falling the way of the Trent Barreta; I’m wondering when Kaitlyn will turn on AJ and (perhaps) join the Divas of Destruction as their protégée.

Here are your winners… The Bella Twins @ about 6:10 via Bella Buster pinfall.

John Morrison vs. Drew McIntyre:   McIntyre has been rapidly improving week-by-week to the point that I don’t groan when his music hits now so I’m actually looking forward to this match. Morrison applies an armbar but they battle over it and Drew floors Morrison with a shoulderblock. Morrison confounds McIntyre with speed and gets a pair of nearfalls off a schoolboy and backslide; he shoots Drew a Shawn Michaels type smirk. Drew and Morrison lock up and McIntyre uses his European background to segue Morrison down and then pound on him. Morrison reverses and snapmares him into a nearfall; McIntyre retreats to the ropes to get a break and then catches Morrison coming in. Drew stomps on him and then… Morrison dropkicks him. McIntyre retreats to the floor, Morrison gives chase and then, from the floor, dives through the top and middle ropes, between the ringpost, to nail McIntyre with a suicide topé. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before. Back in the ring Morrison mistimes a crossbody, Drew ducks, and Morrison crashes into the ropes. McIntyre takes over and applies an armlock. Morrison comes back and pitches Drew over the top to the floor. Back form commercial, McIntyre is stomping away on Morrison in the corner; Drew amps it up with a nice snap-suplex for two. He tries a second-rope move but meets Morrison’s no longer fuzzy boot. Morrison begins to fire up with a series of lightening quick clotheslines and a leg lariat; he pulls Moonlight Drive out of mothballs for a two count. They battle over a suplex and Morrison counters into the Flying Chuck for two. Morrison misses the running knee and McIntyre gets a nearfall; Morrison tries a tilt-a-whirl head scissors but McIntyre turns it into a backbreaker… for two. McIntyre with a back suplex, flipped out of by Morrison, and they double clothesline each other. McIntyre nips up and celebrates; Morrison then nips up and hits the Pelé kick. Ha! A Morrison lateral press nets a two. Morrison grabs the ropes to block a whip and McIntyre grabs his legs and plants him with a sit-out whiplash slam (inverted Alabama Slam); it gets a nearfall. Drew is frustratory. He props Morrison on the top and looks for the Future-Shock DDT but Morrison pushes him off and crotches him; Morrison finishes with Starship Pain. 6/10 Good main event this week; there was some cool innovative offense in this one. Poor Morrison spinning his wheels on Superstars and occasionally featured on Raw (or a PPV) buried in multi-man matches.

Here is your winner… John Morrison @ approx. 9:15 via Starship Pain pinfall.

OVERALL 5.5/10 Two good matches and two crappy ones Orioed in between; typical Superstars show good and bad; there is some cool stuff to see here. Bryan and Morrison usually let it all hang out when the WWE Brass is distracted.